This is the third part in a Pezberry series for anyone who just wandered on over here due to my magnificent summary. The first two parts are Unadulterated Loathing and Strange Exhilaration. While this piece might be able to stand on it's own, it is going to reference back to the previous two stories. Also, as with the other two stories, this one is going to twist some things around. I'm also going to take some of my own license yet again. And with Season 3 starting soon... this blatantly ignores that as well.
I have a quick warning: I've given this an M rating for a reason so don't be surprised with what you find here.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that originally appear in the television series Glee.
And now that I've bored you to death here it is: Part 3!
So, here's what you've missed in Santana's life:
Not much.
Nothing has really happened on the Mom front, so I'm still living at the Berry Residence. Speaking of which, that is still going great and since summer vacation is quickly approaching, Rachel and I will be able to sleep in the same room EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for TWO WHOLE MONTHS!
Nothing has really happened on the Quinn front.
Okay well that last one is a lie because Nationals happened. I don't even want to talk about Nationals... actually, yes I do want to talk about Nationals.
First thing is first: Finn Fuckhead Hudson is actually the most heinous human being to ever walk the planet! Oh and that's actually his name, well it will be, when I find a way to legally change it to that. It will happen. He's stupid enough to sign anything.
I'll try to keep this short:
So, remember when I said it would be interesting if Schue had us write our own songs, well because Rachel and I are clearly freaks that reside on the same wavelength of thought, she was thinking the exact same thing. The next week, she suggested to everyone that we bring original songs to Nationals. Everyone was kind of wary about it, well everyone but me... and Finn... and Quinn. Then everyone was on board! Like, what is that shit? If Rachel suggests something on her own no one seems to care, but then if Finn and Quinn put in their two cents, it's suddenly the best idea ever! Fuckers.
Anyways, we spent two weeks trying to write songs for Nationals, but by the time we left, we had a bunch of stupid songs that would never get us anywhere. We were lucky they rhymed.
Then when we got to New York, Mr. Schue locked us in our rooms and told us we couldn't leave until we had written two Glee Club Champion songs. How absurd! How he could deny thirteen kids who have never been to New York City the chance to see the most awesome city on the East Coast, is beyond me. I think we started developing Cabin Fever. I mean, Brittany wrote a song called My Cup for Christ's sake! Although when I re-read the lyrics I was instantly convinced that the whole thing was a giant innuendo for sex with Artie... and me. Which is awkward considering I haven't slept with Britt in months.
After that absurd performance, Quinn in all of her heartbroken glory suggested that we sneak out and let NYC write our songs for us.
I will just say this now, I love New York! I seriously cannot wait to move there. Even better: it'll be with the girl that I'm in love with.
Eventually we came up with ideas for our group number, but that still left us with the need for a duet or a solo piece. Finn was completely adamant about writing a song with Rachel. He even took her out on this elaborate romp around the city. I only let it happen because I was going to stalk them the whole time. And that's just what Britt and I did, so when things got all romantic and Finn tried to put the moves on her, Rachel walked away from him and found me when she turned the dark Greenwich Village corner. While she was a little mad that I'd been following her around as if I didn't trust her, she was glad that she didn't have to try to find her way to the hotel by herself. And hey, it's not like I don't trust Rachel, of course I do, I'm just extremely possessive and don't trust Finn as far as I can throw him. Since he's gigantic, that really isn't very far.
Well, anyways, they wound up writing a song... the day of the competition. Whatever, that's Schue's fault. As per usual.
Wait, why did I even start talking about this?
Oh yeah! Quinn!
She had this fucked up mental break-down!
She was going to snitch on Rach and Kurt for sneaking out the morning of the competition so that we'd get disqualified.
Bull shit!
Just because she's all pissed that Finn broke up with her again and has all these suppressed lesbian feelings does not mean that she needed to bring everyone else down with her. Hells no! Britts and I stopped that real quick. I had to dig down deep and forget about all of my suspicions to rescue the crazed maniac that was suddenly Quinn Fabray.
All I wanted to do was cheer her up with a new hair cut and what did she do? Assume that Brittany and I wanted to fuck her happy!
I'm sorry, what?
If I wasn't convinced that she was a lesbo before, I sure am now! Talk about a Freudian slip! That hadn't even crossed my mind until she said it! "Really not that into that" my ass!
Anyways, at that point I was pretty sure I'd just saved Nationals for us... that is until Finn fucked everything up!
Ugh! Oh my god! He is such a fuck! He fucking kissed Rachel at the end of their song! We didn't even know until we were all backstage and we heard Rachel smack him right across the face. Then she started whisper screaming at him. It went something like this:
"What is wrong with you, Finn?"
"What, Rach? I thought you wanted to kiss me! I knew you weren't gay!"
"Yes, I am! God! You don't listen to anyone, do you? As long as you're happy no one else matters do they? I'm pretty sure you just lost us Nationals!"
"Then why did you let me kiss you?"
"Because running away from you would have looked even worse! God, you're an idiot!"
Then she stormed off through the backstage door and into the lobby. The rest of us were just standing there with our mouths agape. It took me like thirty seconds to even think about chasing after Rachel. I didn't even think about kicking Finn's ass like I should have, I just wanted to make sure Rachel was okay. Getting national recognition is like, her dream and Finn went and fucked it up like he fucks everything up.
Man I hate him!
Then we found out we came in 12th place.
Oh.
My.
God.
If he hadn't... AAAAAHHHHH!
I totally lost it in the hotel! The español was flying! I threatened to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on his big, stupid, caveman ass. I'm pretty sure that if whoever was holding me back, wasn't, Finn would have come back with one fucked up face. Instead I settled for a voodoo doll that I knew would never work but it still scared the shit out of him.
Now that we're back, everyone pretty much hates him. Even his own step brother is sailing on the SS I Hate Finn. Puck refused to invite him to the last day of school bash that he's throwing tonight. All through the day the Glee kids were talking about it, until they saw Finn, then they would text about it. It's literally the first time we've all been able to keep a secret from him or anyone for that matter. We all know how Babygate worked out... and the whole Finn and me sleeping together thing. Neither one of those blow-ups were my fault They shouldn't have lied! Whatever, water rolling under the bridge now.
So, we're up to date, right? Today's the last day of school and there's a party tonight. Of course I'm going and of course Rachel is going. And of course there will be sexy times had before it starts at 9.
OH! The shoe box that houses the strap-on in my closet, has kind of become a suggestion box as well. Every time one of us thinks of something new that we want to try out, we add it to the box. Not going to lie, most of the slips of paper are Rachel's. She's become quite the deviant in the last month. I don't even think it's my fault. That's the best part! I'm convinced she was like this before we got together, she was just all suppressed and whatnot.
God, I can't wait to wake up to her beautiful face every morning this summer. Speaking of her beautiful face... and body, finally she's walking out of the damn school! I've been waiting for her at my car for like fifteen minutes. What the fuck is she carrying? I should probably help her...
"Hey babe, what's all this stuff?"
"All of the contents of my locker. I had to steal this bag from the Cheerios locker room. Good thing Coach Sylvester calmed down a little bit because I never would have procured this thing," she says as she drops the bag off of her shoulder and into my hands.
Ow. What on Earth was she keeping in her locker all year? "Rach, what's in here? Lead?"
"A few days worth of clothing, my gym stuff, and a few trophies," she says as she starts walking towards my car as if the last part wasn't strange at all.
"Ummm... a few trophies? Babe, where did you put your books?" I say as I heave the bag into the trunk of my car.
"On the extra shelves that are also in that bag," once again it's said as if everyone has extra shelves in their locker.
I cannot stop the laughter from coming out of my stomach, through my chest and out of my mouth. She is just way to cute. "You are seriously the most adorable human on Earth. Really, babe? Extra shelves?"
"Uh... yeah!"
"I love you," I say as I lean in to kiss her... right in the middle of the school parking lot mind you!
"I love you, too, sweetheart."
"Can we go home now? You're skirt has been killing me since this morning," I say and then somehow find my lower lip in between my teeth.
"I knew it would," she says with a wink and then turns around just fast enough so that her little school girl skirt twirls. I could just barely see the bottom of her amazing ass. If I didn't have any self control... let's just say I'd need a car wash.
"What should I wear to Noah's party tonight?" Rachel asks after I plop into the driver's seat.
"Whatever you want, Rach. Just nothing too sexy. We don't want Lucy Q getting any ideas," I say rounding out with a little chuckle.
"That wasn't very nice Santana. You know she's sensitive about that," Rachel said in her reprimanding tone that I usually love... not so much right now.
"That's why I said it to you and not her, duh."
She sighs and rolls her eyes big enough to compete with me, "Why do you still think that she has a crush on me? She hasn't done anything since that Glee assignment a month ago."
"Except go absolutely bat shit in New York in front of Britt and me!"
"What? Why didn't you tell me about that?" Rachel says with that slightly hurt and surprised face that makes me feel like crap.
Luckily, I actually have a good reason for not remembering to tell her: Finn. "I was busy being pissed at Finn, as were you. I kind of forgot about it."
"Okay, well tell me now. What happened in New York?"
Hmmm... should I tell her every detail? Yeah, why not? It's not like I'm the one with her head in the gutter in this story. "So you know how Quinn got her hair cut before the competition?"
"Yeah. We all know. It's really cute."
I give her a little scowl, but continue, "Well, it's my fault that she got it. That was how Britt and I cheered her up. But, when I started to suggest it, she thought that I was offering up sex! She was all like, 'I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that.'"
Rachel is cracking up by the way. Like hugging her legs, leaning on the car window, keeled over laughing.
As under my breath as possible I for some unknown reason say, "Pssht, she wishes she could tap this. As if I'd try to have sex with her again."
"AS IF YOU'D WHAT?"
Oh shit. I'm actually wincing right now. Good thing I already parked the car. Wait, what did I just say? Did I make sound like I have slept with Quinn before? Fuck. Shit!
FUCK!
"You've had sex with Quinn?"
"NO! Never! Just... almost..." here's that wincing face again, "it was almost two years ago. Besides she made me promise not tell anyone..." maybe that will save my ass.
Or not.
I'm just going to sit here for a few minutes while she stomps into the house and makes her scene.
Okay, grabbing her absurdly heavy, stolen Cheerios bag and entering La Casa de Berry. Bag dropped in the family room and "Babe! Will you come here please? I really don't understand why you're so upset! I didn't lie about anything! Please, Rach! I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but there really wasn't anything to tell..."
Am I hearing footsteps?
"AAAAH!"
My 5'2", 110 pound girlfriend just tackled me over and onto the couch.
"Did you believe me?" Rachel asks with a gigantic smile as she straddles my hips and sits down on my thighs.
"That you were irrationally pissed at me? Yes. It wasn't cool," I say rolling my eyes and crossing my arms.
"Aw, beautiful, I'm sorry. I was just practicing my acting skills," she says and leans down to kiss my cheek.
"Well, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't practice on me," I huff, but my resolve is fading. I don't know, something about Rachel's lips on my neck just melt me into a nice little whipped puddle.
Hmmm... whipped... I wonder if someone makes vegan whipped cream... next Whole Foods trip.
"Okay, San, I won't. I promise," she says and places her soft lips lightly onto mine. It gives me those butterflies I love so much. And there goes all of my resolve. I'm smiling by the time she picks herself back up. "There's that beautiful smile I love so much."
I've uncrossed my arms and my hands have found her thighs. I am quickly reminded of what the skirt she's wearing has been doing to me all day, "Come here."
"Yes," she says as she inches her face closer to mine.
I inch my hands further up her thighs and lean in to bring our lips together again. I pull away for just a second to say, "And there are those lips I love to kiss so much." And back to kissing. Our lips are intertwined and her hand is making its way up my abs. My hands have found their place under the fabric of her underwear that covers her ass. Just one little squeeze sends a moan out of her mouth and into my lips. I grind my hips up into her and she directs her kisses back to my neck. Into my ear she whispers, "Let's go upstairs. I have an idea."
"I love your ideas!"
She slides off of me and then extends her hands out to pull me off of the couch. I waste no time getting up and as soon as I am, Rachel re-grabs my hand and starts dragging me through the kitchen and up the back stairs. When we get upstairs, I automatically assume we're going to her room so I start walking towards her door, but wind up being tugged in the opposite direction towards my room.
I am now completely aware of what her plan involves.
We get into my room and immediately close and lock the door, it's become a habit by now. Rachel wastes no time with my clothes and my shirt and jeans are off in like seconds. She removes her own shirt as fast as she can and then turns for the closet. I see a couple of index cards flutter to the floor and say, "I think we need a bigger shoe box."
She giggles a little as she turns around with our strap-on in her hands. She quirks up her eye brows as I shimmy out of my thong knowing full well that the harness is going on me. Slowly, she saunters over to me and when she gets to where I'm standing, she kneels down so that I can step into it. As she tightens the straps around my thighs I reach behind my back and unhook my bra, throwing it aside.
"Hey, I was going to do that!" Rachel says when she stands back up.
"You can take yours off," I offer with a little smirk.
She gives me an adorable scowl and reaches her hands back. In seconds her bra is with mine and she's already starting on her skirt. But I'm struck with something pleasantly kinky, "Wait!"
"What?" she says stopping with her skirt half unbuttoned.
"Leave it on," I say and then let my teeth graze along my bottom lip.
"Okay," she says with her eye brows popped up and sexy grin. Then she tucks her hands under the skirt and slides her underwear off, steps out of one leg opening and kicks it away to join our bras and my thong. "You really like this skirt," she says as she steps closer to me and grabs the purple appendage between us, tugging me into her.
I laugh a little and say, "Good thing this isn't real."
"That's why it's purple. I don't think I could handle one that actually looked real," she says as she leads me to the bed.
I laugh again and say, "You are so gay!"
She pushes me down onto the bed and reaches her hand in between my legs. I feel her fingers swipe up from my entrance to my clit and right after I gasp she says through her most devious smirk, "So are you. Now get on the bed more and lie down."
"Whatever you want, baby," I say as I complete her request.
"You." And here she comes, crawling up the bed towards me. She is so sexy. I can't even think properly right now. Yup, that's her leg swinging over me and that's her hand grabbing the purple dick protruding from my pelvis. I watch her other hand disappear under her skirt and reappear with a coating of her own wetness on her fingers. My brain is complete and utter mush watching this all unfold on top of me. She takes the fingers with her on them and slides them up the dildo. Then she lifts herself up and lowers herself onto it.
We're way past my fear of this hurting her.
Oh my god this is so hot! Her skirt is sprawled out over both of our hips, so really all I'm seeing is her moving up and down on top of me and hearing her moaning away.
I think it's time for me to participate.
I reach my hands forward and slide them up her thighs. They find their way under the skirt and grab her hips. I squeeze a little as I start doing the work she's been doing with my own hips.
"Mmmm, Santana," Rachel moans softly as she leans back a little. Then I see her reach her hand back and feel it between my legs.
"Uh huh," I breathe out as I feel her fingers circle my clit.
"Faster."
Okay. I pick up the pace of my hips and bring my thumb to her clit.
"Oh my god! San! Fuck!"
The combination of what's happening on top of me and what Rachel's talented fingers are doing to my clit, is causing an orgasm to build really quickly. "Ay dios mio, querida. Soy tan cerca!"
"Me too. Don't stop!"
'Don't stop' generally translates to 'go a little faster' to me, so I do, which causes Rachel's breathing to get just a tad heavier. Thank god because I am going to bust apart any second and I can't promise that I'll still be able to function.
"San... I'm... gonna..."
"FUCK!"
I hear that familiar little squeak as my own shockwaves distribute themselves throughout my body. My hips thrust up one last time, mostly out of reflex. It was a lot harder than I would have ever done on my accord and it sends Rachel forward.
"Ow."
Oh no. What happened? "Babe?"
She inches forward a little then rolls off of me onto her back. "I think I'm going to have a bruise... or two," she says as she rubs the inside of her thighs.
I roll over onto my side and run my fingers down her cheek, "Oh babe, I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose."
"San?"
"Yeah, Rach?" I ask and then kiss her shoulder.
She looks down and says, "You're poking me."
"I'm poking y-" I look down, "oh." I stifle my laugh as I roll onto my back and start taking the strap-on off. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"Oh yeah. I mean, I might be walking a little funny tonight at Noah's party, but I'm fine," Rachel says trying her hand at some sarcasm.
I get up off of the bed to complete the task of removing the harness and place it on my dresser so the at the dildo is standing straight up. We really do need to find a new box for that thing.
"How much longer until we have to be at Noah's place of residence?" Rachel asks from the bed.
"Well, it's only four o'clock so, five hours, but I figured we'd show up fashionably late," I say after I look at the alarm clock on my end table and as I crawl back into bed.
"So we can nap?"
"Ummm... yes! But after I eat something. I've got the sexy times munchies. Bad."
"I have something you can eat," Rachel smirks at me.
I actually gasp at that, "Who are you? And what have you done with Rachel Berry?"
"Perhaps your lack of shame is rubbing off on me?"
I give her a little scowl and then say, "Well, gorgeous, as appetizing as that sounds, I need real food... maybe later though, after our nap."
"Okay," she says in cute fake disappointment. She sits up and winces a little bit. She must be able to see my face because she says, "I'm fine." After a few seconds, she gets off the bed and heads for my dresser. I hear her chuckle at the dildo standing on top of it and then watch her bend over to open the bottom drawer.
Yup, I'm checking out her amazing ass... and something else. "Damn," I whisper a little louder than I want. She peaks behind her and catches me staring. Clicking her tongue, she turns back to the open drawer and stands back up with a pair of my basketball shorts and my t-shirt from Nationals.
"Hey, thanks, Rach-"
"Nope. These are for me. Get your own clothes," she says as she pulls the shorts on under her skirt, then slips into the t-shirt and out of her skirt.
"Those are my clothes," that she looks absolutely adorable in because they're a little too big for her.
"I know. They smell like you," she says though a smile, then opens the door and walks out into the hall.
As I get up out of the bed I hear a door close and I assume it's the bathroom. I go to the dresser and pull out a pair of boxers that I bought on clearance one day simply because they're like perfect to sleep in and a t-shirt that I got at Cheer Nationals last year.
Hmm... you know... I actually kind of miss being on the Cheerios. For one thing it was a lot easier to get ready in the morning. I'll think about it.
Oh yeah... I'm starving. Kitchen time. As I walk by the bathroom I hear the toilet flush and get an idea. I back myself up against the wall and wait for Rachel to open the door. Just as I hear it open I jump off it and yell, "Boo!"
"AAAAH!"
Perfect!
Ow.
Clearly Rachel didn't think it was as funny as I did. She just smacked my arm. Hard.
"Great! Now I'm gonna have a bruise!"
"You should have thought about that before you scared the living daylights out of me!" Rachel pouted.
"Do we have Reese's Puff cereal?" I ask changing the subject.
"We better," she says and stomps off towards the back stairs.
Man, I love her!