Summary: Songfic based on Kelly Clarkson's Cry
Warnings: None really, except based on S7.
Authors note: A songfic. Just so you know, my opinion is that in Jetlag, Ziva didn't tell Tony about Somalia, because he asked her in the warehouse in Masquerade, but I respect everyone's opinions. Also this is my first fic.
When people all stare I pretend that I don't hear them talk…
Her first day back was the hardest. She was pretty sure they knew, and the whispers and glances from co workers confirmed her suspicions. She had to block it out, she had to for her own sanity. But ignoring them was easier said than done, and she caught glimpses of conversations. 'Somalia', 'Tony' 'Rescue', came up regularly.
Sure she was rescued from Somalia by Tony, but her naïve co workers didn't know it all. She was there for 3 months, and the rescue was 1 day. 3 months she was there, 3 months of torture and pain and-
Whenever I see you, I swallow my pride and bite my tongue. Pretend I'm ok with it all, act like there's nothing wrong
Nobody knew what really happened those 3 months. She suspected Gibbs had a pretty good idea, but he was Gibbs- he just knew things. Tony on the other hand-Tony was Tony. She wanted to tell him, she really did, but she saw the look in his eyes when the bag came of her head, the tone in his voice when he said he "couldn't live without" her , and she had chosen to ignore those hints. Mainly because she wasn't ready to admit that she knew, and also because of what he had said to her, and done for her, she sure wasn't sure she wanted him to know. She knew it would affect him deeply, and she wasn't sure she could handle seeing him hurt, because it would hurt him.
But all those reasons came to a haul when she awoke in Paris, screaming and sweating from her nightmare. Clutching at her chest, with Tony staring at her, worried and concerned. Ziva saw the look in his eye, the same look she had seen that moment in Somalia they were reunited, and suddenly memories came flooding back-
Is it over yet can I open my eyes? Is this as hard as it gets, is this what it feels like to really cry?
Once the tears started, she couldn't stop. She cried oceans, and the whole time Tony just clutched her tightly, telling her it was ok and that she was safe. He held her tight, until an hour later she was asleep in his arms.
The next morning Ziva knew that one day, maybe not today, but one day soon, she would let him in.