A/N This is a fic I've been working on for a while, in between my other fics (don't worry, I'll still update those). It's close to my heart. Please let me know what you think and if you'd like to read more.

Chapter 1

A soft knock on my front door startles me in my work. I close the file I was reading before I walk towards the door, sighing deeply as I see who is standing in front of it.

"Jane," I whisper when I open the door for her. I gently take her arm and lead her inside towards the kitchen to examine her.

This is the second time this week. He went for her face this time. A large bruise on her left cheekbone surrounds a rather deep cut. I let my fingers slide over it, carefully examining the depth of the cut.

"You need stitches, Jane," I whisper when I look into her eyes. Her eyes show no pain, but no happiness either. I still remember the way her eyes used to sparkle, the way her deep brown eyes used to shimmer and dance when she smiled. It has been too long since I've seen that. It has been too long but I'll never forget it.

"Just do it, please?" Jane asks, looking at me with raised eyebrows. "I'm fine."

I sigh and squeeze Jane's arm before I walk towards the living room where I grab my medical bag. I don't have anesthesia. I never have any. I stitch her cuts without it and she flinches, but never makes a sound.

"He doesn't deserve you," I say softly as I dip a cotton swap in iodine to disinfect the wound.

"I know."

Jane knows. She knows he doesn't deserve her. She knows he treats her like a piece of garbage. She knows. And yet, she stays with him. She believes he can change. She says it's the alcohol that makes him do it. I know it's not true. I've told her so many times, but it's no use. I stopped telling her. I treat her injuries, I comfort her pain, and I take care of her. And then she goes back to him.

"This will hurt," I say softly as I prepare the suture.

"Just do it," Jane whispers, looking down at her hands to avoid eye contact.

She hisses in pain when I start and I feel tears burning in my eyes. This never gets easier. I hate seeing her like this, and yet it only makes me love her more.

I'm the one that loves her; I'm the one that will never stop loving her. I will never hurt her, abuse her, I will never stop appreciating her. She doesn't know, and I'm not sure if she ever will. She's with him. She belongs to him.

Jane Rizzoli never belonged to anyone. She was her own boss, always the fierce, sarcastic, tough detective. Nobody messed with Jane Rizzoli. Until he came along. She had known him for a long time. They had fallen in love. He let her down, and she came back. He left her heartbroken, and she took him back. He asked her to leave her life and job to follow him to Afghanistan, and she finally refused. He asked her to marry him in stead. The only way he would stay in America. She agreed.

Jane Rizzoli was now Casey Jones' wife. She kept her own name, but that was all she kept of herself. She lost everything else. Casey didn't go to Afghanistan and worked in Boston for a few months, but he lost his job. He was at home all day, getting bored. It started with a few more beers than usual, but then he traded beer for vodka. It only got worse from here.

"All done." I smile at Jane and place a bandage on her cheek. "Anything else I should check?"

Jane shakes her head and I feel relief. It could've been worse. I grab a mug from the cabinet and start making coffee. I know she doesn't want to talk. I know I don't have to talk. She doesn't want me to talk. If I talk, it's harder for her to keep her emotions in the steel cage she keeps them. She never cries. She used to, when a terrible case got to her, or when she was in pain. She didn't cry in front of anyone, but she cried in front of me. That was all before. She doesn't cry anymore, not even when she's with me. If she cries, she breaks down. Jane doesn't want to break down. She can't.

All I want to do is wrap my arms around her. I want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go. I want to press my lips against hers to kiss her pain away. I want to hold her, love her, treasure her, keep her. If only she knew. If only she knew how much I love her, how much I care about her. How much I want to kiss her, hold her and make love to her.

I look at her face and see exhaustion. She looks pale, her skin almost grey, dark circles under her eyes. She's still the most gorgeous woman in the world. She has those beautiful, brown eyes that seem endlessly deep. Her long, lean legs, perfect figure and those ever unruly but beautiful curls… She's perfect. If only he knew. If only Casey knew he was married to the most amazing woman in the world.

I hate him. I hate him with all I have. Jane tells me he's not a bad man, she tells me it's just the booze talking, but I know better. He's a bad man. Anyone that treats Jane like he does is a bad person. Period. I hate him. I despise him.

I hand her a cup of coffee and she shows a grateful smile. She takes the cup with one hand while the other clutches the baby monitor that is quietly beeping, the sound of light snores coming through.

Jane's pregnancy made her marry Casey. She has a beautiful little daughter named Samantha, Sam for short. She's three years old and the sweetest girl in the world. Her hair is slightly lighter than Jane's and not as curly, but her eyes are exactly the same. Those deep brown eyes that make me fall in love with Jane and her daughter every single time I look into them.

I spend a lot of time with that little girl. Jane brings her over when Casey is drunk again and when it's not safe for Sam to be around her father. I watch her, play with her and I love her like she's mine. But she's not. She's his too.

"Did Sam like the paint set?" I ask Jane after a long moment of silence.

Jane nods. "Yeah, had to drag her away from it to get her into bed."

I chuckle and feel my heart swelling with love as Jane's beautiful face lights up with a smile. "I'm glad."

"Thanks, by the way. It's a sweet gift."

I wave her gratefulness away. "It's no problem. I'm happy she's having fun with it." I stay silent for a moment and see Jane's smile fading. "How is she?" I ask her softly.

Jane sighs and averts her gaze, looking down into her coffee cup. "Tired. I think she senses the stress in the house. She's…" Jane stops and shakes her head. "She's gonna be fine."

"Tell me, Jane," I whisper, trying to gain her confidence.

Jane takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. I see pain. "She's not like a typical three-year old."

"I know," I whisper softly, carefully placing my hand on Jane's lower arm. Sam is very affectionate and always asking for attention. She's not as cheerful and happy as her peers, and clearly affected by the stress and hurt in her environment. "You know I'm happy to have her over, right?"

Jane smiles at me. "Yeah, I know."

My house is serene, quiet and safe. Jane feels safe here, and I know Sam does too. Jane sighs and I sense she wants to ask me something. I lightly squeeze her arm and smile at her.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" she finally asks after a long silence.

I have to finish two autopsy reports, go over three reports of results from the crime lab and I have to prepare for a trial, but I'm never too busy for Jane. "Not at all."

"You sure?"

"We don't have a case right now, you know that." I carefully reach out to brush Jane's black curls back, and I'm happy to see she doesn't flinch. "I'm never too busy for Sam." I feel butterflies in my stomach when my hand touches Jane's cheek. "Or you."

Jane smiles at me and I see gratefulness in her eyes. Sam spends a lot of time at my house. Jane is afraid to bring her to Angela. She doesn't want her mother to know what's going on, she doesn't want to cause Angela pain. But at the same time, it's not always safe to leave Sam alone with her father. Nothing has happened so far, and I really think Casey will never hurt his daughter, but I know Sam is bothered by the stress in her environment. I see how she lights up when she is with me, out of her own house. I see her relax, and I see her tensing up again when she has to go back home. It hurts my heart.

We drink our coffee in silence, listening to the constant soft beeps from the baby monitor, comforted by soft snores. I know Casey is home and he's capable of taking care of Sam when something happens, but the baby monitor comforts Jane.

She sighs after a while and puts her cup down. "I have to go back," she says softly, fumbling with the monitor.

I nod. "I know."

We stand up and I walk her to the door, but I stop her before she can walk out. "Jane,"

She turns around and looks at me, and I see pain edged on her face. It brings tears to my eyes. "He doesn't deserve you," I repeat in a soft whisper. "He doesn't deserve either of you."

"I can't leave him, Maura," she whispers in her husky voice, looking at me as her shoulders drop.

"Why?" We've had this conversation many times. I've asked her to leave him, I begged her to leave him. She doesn't.

"I married him," she whispers, looking into my eyes. "I know this is not him. It's the addiction, not him."

"He needs help, Jane."

"He's getting better."

I sigh deeply and swallow a lump in my throat. "I don't think he is."

"It's not Casey, Maur. This isn't him."

"He hurts you, Jane." My eyes fill with tears and my voice is nothing but a high-pitched whisper.

"I'm not weak, Maura," Jane says in a harsh tone, startling me. "I'm not. I know this isn't him, I know he's sorry. He's sick and he'll get better." Jane shrugs and smiles at me. The smile doesn't contain happiness. "He loves me."

I can't speak. My throat closes up in tears and I watch Jane walk towards her car to get home to her husband and daughter. "Jane," I stop her before she gets into the car. "I know you're not weak."

Jane smiles at me, a slight smile that makes my heart swell. "Thank you."

I watch her drive away before I close the door, feeling a single tear trickling down my cheek. 'He loves me'.

He may have loved her once, but he doesn't anymore. I do. I love her. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much until I fell absolutely, head over heels in love with Jane. I fell in love with the old Jane Rizzoli, the Jane Rizzoli that didn't let anyone mess with her, the detective that stood her ground and was fierce, tough and badass. But I never stopped loving her. She hasn't lost her strength. She's still that person, I know she is. And I'll wait for her. I'll wait forever if I need to.

I clear away my files, knowing that I won't get any more work done tonight, and I walk upstairs to start my nightly routine. I know the night will be restless. I will be listening, waiting for my phone to ring, for a knock on the front door or any sign of Jane. I haven't had a peaceful night of sleep in years and I don't even mind.

I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling as I finally allow my tears to fall. They fall onto my temples, into my hair. How can you love someone who belongs to someone else? How can I keep her safe? How can I keep them both safe? They're my family. They're my family, even though they aren't. We should be a family. We would be a perfect family. Jane, Sam and me… We would be perfect. I love them both with all I have.

If only she knew.