Lancre Nights

My first fanfic so be gentle! Part of my crusade to increase the number of Agnes and Vlad fanfics out there, because hardly anyone writes about them. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: Discworld and all its characters and locations belong to Terry Pratchett, not me.

The Lancre night closed in on Agnes Nitt's cottage. It found her sitting alone with an odd look on her face. She had been thinking. Thinking can be a rather dangerous activity at the best of times, especially if someone comments on every little thought you have. Since Oats had left for Uberwald she had been doing a lot of thinking. So had Perdita. Perdita had been pleased that Oats had disappeared. She hadn't wanted to be stuck with a drippy priest. She was still annoyed that Agnes had abandoned Vlad. Vampires aren't necessarily bad people she insisted and not even that ragged priest was interested in you. Agnes sighed. Fighting with yourself certainly had the edge over fighting someone else because you knew everything about your opponent. And everything included all the little thoughts and desires you would rather forget, or at least keep your opponent ignorant of.

The truth was that she hadn't felt quite like herself since Vlad had bitten her in Escrow. Since then he had sprung up in her thoughts more and more, much to Perdita's delight. In her darker moments she wondered if perhaps the bite had been more effective than she had given it credit for.

Something else was closing in on Agnes Nitt's cottage. She wasn't the only one who couldn't forget the events of the Magpyr's invasion.

A few minutes later she was made aware of this fact. Faster than the speed of rumour a figure appeared in front of her.

'Hello again Agnes. It's been longer than I had hoped for. But at last we meet again.'

Agnes fought disbelief and Perdita to make room for her own thoughts. The dominant one seemed to consist of the words Oh Gods. Repeatedly. Nevertheless she rose to her feet and began to back away slowly from Vlad.

'I thought you couldn't enter where you weren't invited?', she managed.

'We have been through this before.' He smiled. 'Anyway how have you been since you left Don'tgonearthe Castle? Where's the priest?'

Perdita was thrilled by that last sentence and it's tone of thinly veiled envy. Someone had actually been jealous of the possibility that Agnes could have a relationship with someone else. It was a minor miracle. Especially considering that Vlad was handsome and charming, and therefore in accordance with the known rules of the universe should not be bothering with Agnes.

'Uberwald. Hasn't he tried to convert you yet?' She was still backing away slowly. The problem was that she was running out of room to back into. Very soon she was going to meet the wall, which would probably not yield to her. Worse than this was the knowledge that running was pointless and there were no conveniently pointy pieces of wood nearby. She wondered briefly what Granny would do in this situation, until she realised that Granny would never get into this situation in the first place, for a variety of reasons, of which only one was her skill in headology.

Vlad smiled. He had a smile that could honestly be called devastating. 'Now why on the Disc would he choose religion over you? I can't imagine that Om could compete. Look at me, I'm risking the wrath of Weatherwax just to see you, and we all know what her family do to vampires.' He sighed. 'Agnes, you still don't seem to realise that vampires are not all that they are rumoured to be. They are considerably more.'

Yeah, she thought sarcastically, they're persistent too. She stepped backwards once more, then felt the alarming solidity of the wall. Panic gripped her, quickly overwhelming common sense, then giving it a slap for good measure. Perdita contributed a series of suggestive and unhelpful comments on how truly excellent Vlad looked, the good fortune Agnes had that he was attracted to her of all people, and how fun eternity could be in the right circumstances. Agnes just took a deep breath and...

Found a hand clamped gently but firmly over her mouth. Vlad was still smiling, giving the impression of laughing at a private joke.

'There really is no one else like you. However I would rather not experience one of your frankly phenomenal screams again. They are rather unpleasant. Honestly, you should be pleased to see me. I'm saving you from a life spent in the service of the ignorant farmers indigenous to Lancre. You are young. Surely you want more for yourself than that? Why else did you go to Ankh-Morpork? You could be so powerful. Just come back to Uberwald with me. Surely immortality is an attractive prospect? I know you fear death. All humans do, even Mistress Weatherwax. I could liberate you from that.'

He removed his hand from her mouth, only to take her hand in a way that had Perdita screaming give in you fat lump this is your one chance at happiness-TAKE IT.

Agnes felt that she really did have few options left. She could give in, go with Vlad, become a vampire and prowl Don'tgonearthe Castle for eternity. She could fight, but she would definitely lose and then the Gods knew what might happen. Or she could keep him talking. This seemed the most appealing choice, by a narrow but significant margin.

'What happened to the rest of the Magpyr's?' Uninspired, she thought, but should do the job.

'Ah. Well Mother is still missing. Father has retired to his coffin on for a few centuries contemplation. Uncle thinks he is just a bit depressed by his failure. Lacci left a few days ago. She went deeper into Uberwald, where the torture chambers are more advanced and less civilised. I doubt she will return. So you see it is just me and the old Count. A much better arrangement, I'm sure you will agree. No more grand ideas. Now stop playing for time. Come with me.'

Oh damn.

He led her outside. She didn't have much of a choice. Vampires hadn't lost their strength, y or not. He stared upwards, into the blinking stars of the rest of the multiverse, then looked at her.

'I've said it before and I'll say it again. Whatever you want. Forever.'

Agnes closed her eyes. For all that she resisted the vampire she longed for all his promises to become truth. But she could not bear the price they demanded. She would have to become a bloodsucking, parasitic and feared creature. She would have to harm other people, when she had spent the last few years healing them. She would have to exert power over them. Like the Count had. All these thoughts took seconds to fly through her head. For once Perdita kept silent.

Before she could get any further in her moral debate he kissed her. Agnes had never been kissed before, but even she realised that Vlad was good. She blushed as she thought this, but Perdita quickly interrupted with there is no shame in the truth. After that she stopped thinking for a while and just belonged to the moment.And then he pulled away from her, and she opened her eyes to see the moonlight illuminating the figure before her. She found she was holding her breath without quite knowing why.

He spoke. 'Uberwald awaits us. Don't say that you'll stay here. Not after that.' He held out a hand, as he had done once before. She took it.

***

This time his smile seemed so simple an expression of genuine happiness it began to light the night up, becoming a second moon.

'Should we drift over the gorge again? You have no idea how I cherished that time.'

'Then Escrow happened.' Her words were laced with a remembered horror.

He shook his head, fiercely. 'Never again. Father was right. We can learn. What happened in Escrow...was regrettable. It will never be repeated.' His smile returned. 'That's the past. We should be thinking of the future. Our future Agnes. Beginnings are such good times.'

'It depends.'

The gorge was below them now. The river thundered below. Last time-why did it seem so long ago when only three months had passed? Because without him life was so boring whispered Perdita. And now we can really live.

Agnes began to think, with the frantic speed commonly found in students writing papers at 5 AM. The choice she made under the influence of Perdita was going to lead to immortality, like it or not. Eternity is only a good idea when you're not face to face with it. Up close it is uglier than sin. Now...

'Now you're mine. It was always your choice-you made it, so don't pretend it isn't what you want. At least in part.' He whispered in her ear, aware that he was far closer to her than anyone else had ever been. Agnes couldn't complain though-if he let go she would fall victim to gravity.

Still floating peacefully in the moonlight his mouth descended on her neck, kissing it gently, caressing it, before biting.