Dedicated to Hollie for the prompt.

Words: 914

Rating: T.

Hold

"Nobody has to know, it can be our little secret…"

He smiles at me but it's not friendly, not at all. Not the comforting smile you get from a father figure. His eyes bore right into my heart and I can do little else but snivel, nodding as I try to stop the steady flow of tears that are fast finding tracks down my pale skin. He shakes his head and wipes the tears away before they can run off my cheeks. I feel his touch turn rough and he silences me, pushing me down beneath his strong body and it all floods back to me, the smell of sour whisky and cigarettes on his breath which tickles my neck as I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out his ragged gasps above me, his fingers digging into my skin far too hard. Despite myself I open my eyes…

…and I wake up. My body as slick with sweat and my stomach as filled with nausea as it was the first time I lived through it. I'm gasping, but not the way that he did, it's filled with fear and a pain that I cannot seem to rid myself of. I sit up in bed and pant, trying to hold in my whimpers until they subside and my eyes search the darkness for some indication of the time or the month or even where I am. I've had nightmares like this far too many times that sometimes I forget what I'm waking to. I can barely make out anything in the darkness and the tiny bit of the outdoors that I can see sneaking through the crack in the curtain shows me frost and drizzle, their dancing patterns highlighted in the fading orange beam that glows from the nearby streetlight. My eyes follow the faint tracks of light that have seeped through as they work through the bedroom, showing the colour of the carpet and the room I'm in becomes that little bit more clearer.

I sigh, relieved. I am not alone. I glance to my left to see the young man beside me, his brow furrowed in his sleep, his caramel coloured chest rising and falling so rhythmically. The very sight of him calms me. Steven Hay. He shifts in his sleep and I gently stroke his hair, soothing him in his slumber with caution not to wake him. He does not need to see me like this. I lower myself into the bed again, the environment feeling familiar again and settle slightly. But it's not enough. I can still feel my father's presence on me. I pull the covers around me and let out an elongated sigh, burying down into the sheets, hoping they will offer me some salvation from the descending feeling of dirt that settles on me. I turn my back to the man sleeping peacefully next to me and stare sightlessly at the blinking red digits on the clock, watching the minutes pass by. I know I am still breathing heavily and when the clock fails to entertain my brain enough, my thoughts track back to him and I let out a small whimper before concentrating on if I can count to 60 exactly in time for the clock to change minutes.

It takes exactly 4 minutes and 37 seconds before I feel it. Steven shifts behind me and I feel his arms around my waist, encircling me, pulling me closer so my back rests against his body and I feel his body heat enveloping me, his heart beating softly against my back. He kisses my shoulder blade and all the tenseness in my muscles, that I hadn't been aware of, releases. I exhale heavily as if I had been holding my breath since I awoke and relax into his touch, allowing him to hold me.

"I heard you making noises…" Steven whispers softly, dusting my neck and shoulders with soft kisses. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?"

"Yes." I reply meekly, knowing I must seem so stupid.

"It's okay…. I'm here." I can hear Steven smiles and it lets a small smile creep onto my face. He holds me tighter and buries his face into the crook of my neck, breathing softly. The feeling of Steven's breath on my neck seems to rid me of the memories of my father's. It's like he purifies me. I reply with just a hum and Steven takes a moment before he speaks again, afraid he will assume the wrong thing.

"He can't hurt you anymore. I promise, Brendan." He says it softly and then clears his throat as if he is instantly regretting it the moment it passes his lips. I do nothing but reach down to one of the hands that encircles my waist and I know that Steven worries that I will pull them away from me. I intertwine our fingers and hear Steven exhale behind me. I caress his hand with my thumb and give it a little squeeze.

"I love you." It's all I can say and in the darkness, with Steven pressed against my back, his body heat keeping the shadows at bay, nothing else matters.

"I love you too, Bren." I can hear the smile in his voice as he breathes gently against my skin.

It takes exactly 2 minutes 17 seconds for Steven to fall asleep and I am not far behind him. I do not have any more nightmares that night.