How Strong do you think I am ?

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds unfortunately.

Summary: "Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy." Emilly Prentiss is a strong person but will the team learn exactly how strong she is and what hides behinds her strength?

Note: First ever story so be kind with me

Spoiler for the episode 2x 15 Revelation. The inspiration came from the song – How strong do you think I am by Alexz Johnson and the chapter titles is the first line of a lyrics. The idea is to make a chapter for every one or two lines

Rating K+ but might change or not as/if I go on with it

1. If I don't cry, do you think I don't feel?

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing." Arthur Helps

"-Emilly ?

- Yeah?

- How come none of this gets to you?

- What do you mean?

- You came of a desk job an now suddenly you're in the field surrounded by mutilated bodies and you didn't even flinch.

- She's right! You never blinked …

…

I guess I just compartmentalize better then most people…"

In the loneliness and silence of her apartament, Emilly Prentiss was feeling the aftermath of the events in Georgia.

Here she couldn't hide anymore. Because there wasn't anybody to hide from… except herself. And after all that had happened, she coulnd't hide from herself anymore. So she let herself face the truth that she hid deep inside for the last few days.

- I'm sorry, she whispered. I'm sorry I didn't have better answers! I'm sorry I didn't say or do more! She whispered while looking through the window feeling so lost.

Here Emilly could admit it. I was safe, because no one was listening. No one would judge her fears. No one. She was all alone and for the first time after this case she was able to express them out loud.

- I was so scared … she said, hugging herself. I was so scared … for Reid, for JJ. I was scared for all of us, andtears started to fall freely on her cheeks. I was so scared of losing one of you guys.

And so she sat still, starring outside towards the Capitol building, lost in her thoughts.

She began to realize that she was already attached of all the BAU gang … even of Gideon and Hotch. And that realization brought a slight smile on her face. They were a family. And she wanted to find a place among them.

They all seem genuine nice people. Sure though, rough and scared on the outside but with such big souls inside.

It felt bad that they seemed to take her as a cold, distant person. It hurt but she made herself a promise and she was determined to keep it. She needed to get over her fears and try to earn their trust and most important: their friendship.

She just couldn't stand being so close to lose one of them and not being able to let them know that she cared for them. Never again.

- Not because I am scared!

. I'm still considering how to continue with this. I'm not sure if I should carry on or where exactly I'm heading with this. Any ideas or reviews would be nice.

I appologise if there are mistakes as English isn't my native language.