Title: Your decision (1/?)
Rating: 18
Summary: After the eye opening revelation of their previous encounter, John is stuggling to cope with what Evan is offering him
Featuring: Evan/John, Randy
Warning: Angst, D/s, hurt/comfort, friendship
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters/people of WWE. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.
Notes: This continues the story started in Trust me it would help to read it frst but not totally necessary. As always this is unbeta'd so any mistakes you find, please, please, please forgive (I mean it PLEASE!)
X x x x x x x x
"What the hell's gotten into John tonight?" mused Randy pausing to watch as his best friend danced in the middle of a circle of rats all of who were vying for his attention.
"No idea," murmured Evan, the high flyer looking surprisingly subdued for once. The dark brown eyes were locked onto John watching as he grabbed the nearest rat and started to kiss her to the squeals and cheers of the surrounding crowd.
"Since when has he taken to whoreing it up with women again?" growled Randy, not liking what he was seeing. While neither of them were saints, they had, over the past few years, settled down and hardly ever dipped their figurative toes in the expanding rat pool.
Evan simply shrugged in response taking a sip of his beer before tearing his eyes away and looking at the ground.
Frowning at the subdue response Randy nudged him asking with surprising compassion, "You okay?"
Evan flicked him a glance then offering him a smile that while broad was lacking in its normal warmth, he replied softly, "I'm fine, don't worry about me." Randy went to interrupt but Evan insisted, "I mean it. You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."
Randy started to protest but then he saw something flicker deep within the brown pools staring at him and he fell silent nodding his head slightly not quite certain what he was agreeing to.
Taking a last look at the dance floor Evan let out a soft sigh then pushing away from the post he had been leaning against he wandered away the compact body sliding easily through the packed club.
Randy watched him go, frowning to himself and making a mental note to check in on the smaller man later on in the night. Glancing at the dance floor he let out a soft growl as he watched John disengage from one rat and move onto the next with barely a breath in-between. Knowing instinctively that something was wrong, he set his bottle down and headed straight for his best friend determined to separate John from the rat currently grinding herself against him in a poor attempt to dance.
X x x x x x x x
"What the…get off me!" yelled John as Randy finally let go of him, shoving him roughly against the wall.
Randy had dragged John off the dance floor using all of his power and the art of surprise to manoeuvre the resisting man through the crowd. Having finally reached the fire escape Randy had simply kicked it open and shoved John out into the street. Letting the door close behind them but making sure it didn't lock Randy glared at John and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"With me?" exclaimed John dusting off his shirt and shoving Randy backwards at the same time, "You're the nutcase who dragged me off the dance floor. I was having fun until you..."
"You were making a fool of yourself!" growled Randy glaring at his best friend, "You were making a spectacle of yourself.
"So what?" demanded John, "What the fuck has it got to do with you? So what if I..."
"You don't whore around anymore, John," rumbled Randy softly, visibly fighting to keep his temper in check, "You haven't whored around for a few years. So why start now? What's changed? What's made you act like the biggest male slut around? Tell me what's happened."
"Nothing," replied John far too quickly to be convincing, "Nothing's changed or happened. What makes you think something's changed, I…"
"Because I know you."
John gulped. He couldn't look Randy in the eye. He simply couldn't do it. He knew he was whoring it up. He knew by dancing with all those rats and kissing them he was trying to offset what he had done the other night. But it wasn't working. The more he messed around with the more-than-willing rats the more he realised they did nothing for him. Sure they were warm and soft and had curves in the right places – well most of them – but they weren't what he was longing for. They weren't the hard compact muscles or the sheer raw strength that could reduce him to a mewling mess of delight. He flicked Randy a look and with the fight almost visibly draining away he ran his hand over his face and hair and murmured, "Was I that obvious?"
"Yes," snarled Randy glaring at him, "Even a blind man could see you were over compensating for something." He paused then stepping closer he asked, "What's wrong, Johnny? What's happened?"
John didn't answer. He didn't know how to. How could he tell his best friend that the first moment's peace he'd felt in years was the moment he knelt before their mutual friend and allowed himself to be ordered around. He screwed his eyes shut his hand balling into a tight fist. The words burnt his throat but he still didn't answer as Randy repeated the question. He didn't even look up when he felt an all too familiar hand snake around the back of his neck and give him that all-too comforting squeeze.
Randy sighed and shaking his head he rumbled, "Look you're obviously going through some shit but acting the player isn't going to help." He closed the gap between them and resting his forehead against John's he added softly, "What's wrong, Johnny? Tell me."
John stayed silent. He screwed his eyes shut before finally pulling away breaking the hold and glaring at Randy. He wanted to scream at him to mind his own business but no one knew him the way Randy did. No one understood him. He gave a little smile, well maybe one person understood him better. Maybe one person actually understood what he needed.
"Johnny?"
The soft purr of his name from Randy made John sigh. He knew what he had to do, he just didn't know if he had the strength to actually do it. Pulling away from Randy he looked at his best friend, then shaking his head he pushed past him and headed back into the club, not even stopping when Randy called out to him. He simply kept walking, hoping the noise and crush of bodies inside the club would fill the growing void he was feeling deep within his soul.
xxxxx
John raised his hand and hesitated. He was torn between knocking on the door or running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. He swayed slightly. Between bouts of making out with random rats and downing more alcohol than that he had in months his night had gone from bad to worse. Leaning forward he rested his head against the door and sighed. He longed to be on the other side of the door to feel that same contentment he'd felt when Evan had stroked his hair and told him to stop thinking. But he couldn't. He couldn't shake off the years of conditioning that as a big guy he had to be the stronger partner, he had to be the dominant, he had to "be the man". He screwed his eyes shut trying not to remember the way it had felt when Evan had owned him and whispered, "It's not fair."
"John?"
He jumped in surprise. Sniffing and wiping his face quickly he glanced back over his shoulder and exclaimed, "What...why aren't you in your room?"
"I was out," chuckled Evan before tilting his head and asking sarcastically, "Is that okay with you?"
John winced a the unspoken reprimand in Evan's voice. Offering his most goofy grin he murmured, "Of course its okay I just..I…" he suddenly paused then blurted out ,"Where were you?" trying desperately not to sound clingy.
"I was with Mike," replied Evan his voice deceptively soft.
"Mike?" murmured John feeling his stomach flip at the thought of Evan possible being with anyone else, "Why? What were you doing with him?"
"Talking," snapped Evan, "It's what friends do they talk." He levelled John with a firm stare then asked hoarsely, "Why are you leaning against my door?"
John could feel himself blushing. He could feel his cheeks colouring up. He wanted to say he wasn't pining for the fierce loving Evan had shown him the other night. He wanted to deny the fact that he was craving that moment's peace he found when Evan took control of each and every thought process leaving him free to simply be.
"John," murmured Evan softly, "I asked you a question." He stepped closer the small frame actually backing John's larger bulk p against the hard door, "What are you doing leaning against my door?"
"I needed to see you!" confessed out John before his brain had caught up with what his mouth was saying, "I wanted to feel content again!"
Evan started at him then with a soft almost understanding smile the high flyer nodded approvingly. Without speaking he reached into his back pocket, pulled out his key card and swiped it against the reader. As the little light turned green he flicked John a look then simply pushed his door open and cocked his headed.
John gazed at him; almost drowning in the dark depths of Evan's eyes before realising the smaller man was waiting for him to move. Hurrying past Evan, John stumbled into the room catching hold of the doorpost as he did. The room swayed violently around him as the amount of alcohol in his system caught up with him.
Sighing Evan shook his head and without saying a word he simply shut the door, caught John's elbow and steered the wavering lump towards the nearest bed. Forcing John to sit on the bed Evan stared at him before asking softly, "What did you mean you wanted to feel content again?"
John didn't look up. He stared at his hands, his gaze fixed on his thumbs. He wanted to tell Evan the truth but once again he found himself struggling to form the words, he found himself embarrassed and confused about the feelings coursing through him.
"John?"
The soft yet firm voice finally made him look up. And when he did he felt as if his heart would break. Evan was a few feet away, hands resting on his hips, watching him with the most indulgent understanding expression John had ever seen.
"Well?"
"The...the other night..." stammered John fighting hard to make his voice work, "I...it was...I've never felt...it was the best few hours of my life and I...its scares the shit out of me that I would want that but I cant stop thinking about what we did about what you did and how it made me feel and how nothing else matches. I mean those girls down there I wasn't even getting aroused and they doing so damn intense stuff. A week ago I'd have probably fucked at least two of them and..." he winced at the look Evan gave him. Giving an embarrassed cough he tried to pull himself back together but he couldn't escape the look Evan was giving him. Bowing his head he murmured, "I'm sorry."
Evan didn't react at first he simply stared at him, the brown eyes boring into John's skull before very gently reaching out and stroking the shorn blond hair and murmuring, "My poor confused, Darling. You really got yourself worked up, didn't you?"
John just nodded. His eyes fluttered close and he couldn't help the happy little mew that escaped his lips as Evan continued to caress his hair. Without speaking Evan eased John forward, letting the big man rest against him. Almost instantly John nuzzled his face against Evan's stomach, loving the sudden feeling of peace that flooded through his system. Wrapping his arms loosely around Evan's waist, he closed his eyes drawing strength from the quiet embrace.
Letting John take his comfort for a few silent minutes, Evan sighed then stepping back and forcing John to lower his arms, he schooled his features into a firm expression before saying," John, we need to talk."
He waited for the big man to look at him, waiting as the blue eyes tried to focus on him. As John blinked himself into a slightly more level state of consciousness Evan continued, "I'm disappointed, John. Disappointed that you tried to run away from what we shared. You didn't have to make such a fool of yourself in that club. I told you no one would know what happened between us and I meant it, Darling. I will never betray you but for you to go and act like a two bit whore is not acceptable…" he pointedly ignored the whimper and look John gave him, "...I refuse to consider a relationship with a man who is in denial. Now you have two choices you can either ..."
"Relationship?" murmured John, his alcohol slowed brain finally catching up with what Evan said.
"Yes," chuckled Evan, "You think I'd do this with just anyone?"
He stepped closer and sliding a hand down he cupped John's face, tilting it up so he could stare down into the blue eyes, "If you're willing I'd love this to be something more than a one time thing. But there are ground rules, Darling. Namely if we do this, if we pursue this, then you need to give up the rats and the backstage encounters. You belong to me exclusively..." John started to protest but Evan carried on, "Just as I will be exclusive to you." He paused letting John process what he was saying.
Slowly as the penny dropped John gave a dopey grin asking, "You'd belong to me?"
"Of course. I meant what I said about a relationship and those are a two way process. Yes I'll be the dominant, yes I'll expect you to obey each and every order I give you without question, but in return Darling I'll take such good care of you. I'll help you, I'll give you that peace you're looking for."
John looked up at him with such a hopefully expression Evan couldn't help bursting out laughing. Bending down he brushed a kiss over John's lips murmuring, "But I mean it. There are ground rules that I will insist on you obeying and which will incur punishment if broken." He waited a moment, absently petting John's hair, letting his words sink in. He watched John's forehead crease in thought then smooth out again as John obviously came to a decision.
"Punishment?" slurred John suddenly giving a very wicked grin, "You mean you'd…mmmm, kinky."
Evan chuckled indulgently and leaning back down he brushed his lips over John's again, murmuring firmly, "Oh darling you may think its kinky and fun now but believe me if I have to punish you it will be a proper punishment. It won't be some role play crap." He held John's gaze his voice becoming harder and harder until it was all John could do not to squirm in his seat, "If I have to punish you properly you won't be walking straight for a week and for once you'll be damn grateful for this jorts that you wear."
"But the choice is yours," said Evan gently, his voice slipping back into the soft lilt that called to something inside of John, "This has to be your choice. I can't make it for you." He paused then with a final lingering kiss he pulled back before adding, "And you've got as long as my shower takes to make your decision."
Then without warning he turned on his heel and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving John alone and very confused on the foot of the bed.
TBC