His World

I have liked him since I can remember. Every day, every night wondering, thinking, puzzling. Could he ever possibly feel the same way about me? Has he ever looked at me and thought, 'I wonder who she is...'

I doubt it highly. After all, I don't even think he knows I exist. Okay so he may see me around the school once every so often but then again if somebody asked him about me he would say 'Who her? Oh that girl who always stares at me... what a weirdo!'

I'm really not that weird. Infatuated maybe but not that weird. I don't even know what it is about him that draws me to him! Maybe it's the way he is always surrounded by many friends, the way he soars through the sky on his broomstick, the confidence he oozes with every long stride through the hallways he makes.

Today was my first and only confrontation with him. It was really strange- for the first time ever, the boy who I have been lusting over for months actually conversed with me. I heard his voice properly and knew it was being directed at me.

It happened as I was entering the common room. The Fat Lady was in a grumpy mood so I told her where to go. Little did I know that he was standing right behind me, also waiting to enter the tower.

"That wasn't very nice," a voice said as we both entered the common room together. It wasn't a harsh voice and he wasn't being nasty, just... sarcastic and easy-going. I tried to relax my tense shoulders so I didn't look as uptight but it was difficult. After all, I was uptight and next to him, I looked about a thousand times more!

I tried desperately to think of something worthwhile to say. All words escaped me. I couldn't believe it. After all those months of planning, planning, planning exactly what I would say if ever I was placed in a situation quite similar to what I was currently in, I was speechless. Completely and utterly lost for words. If he noticed he covered it up well.

"Urghhh," my throat made a strange gurgling noise like I was being choked or something. He was choking me. He just didn't know it.

"You all right?" he asked, laughing casually. We were now standing right in the middle of the common room. I avoided looking into his big eyes for fear that once I started staring, I wouldn't look away. So I looked around the room instead. Towards one side I could see my best friends, they knew how I felt about him and instantly stopped their conversation and looked at me- startled but proud. Towards the other end of the room I could see some not-so-good-friends glaring at me, their eyes full of hatred and envy.

"I'm... fine," I muttered, forcing myself not to look at him. My heart got the better of my head and I couldn't help but glance quickly at him before looking away again.

What I noticed in that split second was everything I still adore about him. His hair. His eyes. His smile. His tall body. His clothes. And for the first time ever, his scent. I breathed in the heavenly bliss and turned to give him a smile.

He returned the smile graciously, showing his perfect teeth before heading off in a different direction. I watched longingly as he made his way up the staircase to the Boys' Dormitory and heaved a great sigh as I headed to the Girls' equivalent.

So here I am now. Lying flat on my four-poster bed, replaying every second of our encounter over and over again in my head like a slide show. I try hard to capture every second of it in my mind so that it won't ever escape my memory.

Why do I do this? It's hopeless. He's older than me, next year he'll even graduate and then I'll never see him again. I'll never stare at him again and I'll never ever get to breathe in that heavenly scent.

Footsteps can be heard from the doorway. I roll my eyes and sit up. It's time to leave the dream land of his world and enter my reality again.

I'll never stop thinking about him and I'll never stop dreaming about him. But he'll never know.

Author's Note: I just wrote this in fifteen minutes during a class at school so I apologise if it isn't as long and satisfying as usual. Anyone want to be pen-pals? I'm still looking! Please e-mail me, ducky_doll@hotmail.com if you're interested!