Once upon a much more present time, there lived three little pigs in the classroom of

the Language Arts teacher, Ms. Holland. And these pigs really were little, about four

inches to be exact. The names of these three little pigs were Moe, Molly, and Mildred. No

one is sure how long those three little pigs have lived in Ms. Holland's room, not even

they, but most agree they have lived in that classroom longer than Ms. Holland has taught

there (and that is quite a long time).

The youngest, dotty little Mildred, lived under the teacher's desk. It was a bit dusty,

but Mildred didn't mind. Mildred was quite obnoxious about her home. She thought

herself very smart for living under the teacher's desk. Mildred often boasted how she

didn't have to build her home, that it was just made for her.

Inventive little Moe, the oldest, lived in a log-cabin-like house made of pencils and

Expo markers. He had made his little home in a forgotten space behind a bookshelf. It

took a while to build his comfy home, but it was worth it. Despite that it fell at least once

a year (though luckily it had never fallen while he was still inside it), Moe was very happy

with his home.

The middle pig, the wise (and slightly paranoid) Molly, lived in a fort-like house made

of never read books that had been glued together. Molly was the only pig that bothered to

try to count the years she and her siblings have lived in Ms. Holland's classroom, but she

had lost count. Molly knew they had lived there a long time, always in peace. After

several years of living peacefully in Ms. Holland's classroom, Molly predicted that one

day, that peace would be in danger. Molly read many books and knew sooner or later

something bad would happen. And so, the three little pigs lived in their homemade

homes.

***

One day, after a not very eventful Christmas vacation, Ms. Holland brought into the

classroom, a one foot tall (when standing) stuffed wolf she had named Edgar, in honor of

the famous poet. Ms. Holland had bought Edgar at an antique store in Sacramento, where

she was visiting her mother. She introduced Edgar to the her class and placed him next to

the other poet-named stuffed animals.

Edgar was a peculiar stuffed animal. First and most importantly, he came to life. Edgar

never moved or talked in front of humans, someone had told him a very long time ago to

never do that. Second of all, Edgar was also very old. The stitches that held him together

were starting to come loose and his skin (?) was threatening to tear and release the cotton

that filled him. And lastly, Edgar was perpetually bored.

After Edgar's first week in Ms. Holland's classroom, Edgar had an idea. He had

noticed the three little pigs scurrying unnoticed by the students or Ms. Holland while

class was in session and had seen them come out of their hiding places after school had

let out. Edgar made sure that the three little pigs thought he was a regular stuffed animal.

Edgar had a plan.

Edgar had decided that he was hungry. Living stuffed animals did not have to eat (they

were filled with cotton anyhow), but they could if they wanted to. Stuffed animals like

Edgar could eat anything as long as it was small enough. Edgar, knowing he was

especially bored, decided to try to eat the three little pigs. Edgar had heard from the deli

shop that stood next to the antique store that pork tasted good. And so Edgar wanted to

try pork for himself.

As soon as Ms. Holland's classroom was clear of humans, Edgar set out to work.

Edgar jumped off the shelf he was sitting on and approached the desk that Mildred was

living under.

"Come out!" Edgar said to Mildred, "I am the big bad wolf! And I have come to eat

you!"

Mildred peeked out from under the desk and said with her surprisingly shrill voice,

"Well, first of all, you are not that big. You are but a foot tall! And second of all, you are

not going to eat me, you won't be able to reach me under the desk ". Then Mildred hid

under the desk.

"Well," Edgar said in a horrible imitation of Mildred's voice, " first of all, I am one

foot, one and five-eighths inches tall! And second of all, I can reach you under the desk".

And with those words he squeezed under the desk and made a grab for Mildred. Mildred

ran from Edgar's reach and ran blindingly into one of the legs of the desk, knocking

herself unconscious. Edgar picked her up and stored her in a tall pencil holder (Edgar was

planning on making a kabob).

Next, he went to Moe's Expo marker/pencil/log cabin-like house and not bothering

with introductions in case he were to be made fun of his height again he kicked Moe's

house, knocking it down with Moe still inside it. After making sure Moe was

unconscious, Edgar picked him up and put him in the tall pencil holder with Mildred.

Edgar had some trouble finding Molly, for she had built her home in a cupboard. By

the time Edgar had found Molly's house, Molly was ready. Molly had seen the attacks on

her siblings and she was prepared. Molly had two very sharp pencils with her.

Edgar was surprised when he found Molly's house. The hard covers and paperbacks

glued together made an intimidating house. But, Edgar didn't know the books were glued

together, he just thought they had been stacked. Nevertheless, Edgar, once again skipping

introductions, tried to pull out one of the books as if to make the house collapse. But the

glued books did not budge, much to Edgar's frustration and Molly's enjoyment.

As Edgar tried to push and pull at the books, Molly taunted him from atop her tall fort-

like home.

"You'll never topple my house, the books are glued together". Molly said truthfully, "I

don't now why you keep trying".

"Your lying to me". Edgar growled back at her, " I'm going to eat you! You just want

me to give up".

"Well duh, I want you to give up". Molly replied calmly.

And so Edgar stubbornly tried to move the books. After a few minutes, Molly started

to grow tired of watching Edgar and prepared to threaten him with her (very sharp)

pencils. But before Molly could get out her pencils, Edgar, in frustration, threw himself at

Molly's house, getting his skin (?) caught on a corner of a hardcover. Edgar tried to pull

himself away, but only succeeded in making a colossal tear. The stuffing quickly fell out

of Edgar as he tried desperately to hold himself together. Molly watched wide eyed as

Edgar's stuffing came out of him and left just an unmoving skin (?) of a stuffed wolf.

Molly silently left her house and woke her siblings.

The three little pigs quietly approached the torn shell of Edgar. The three little pigs

did not want Edgar dead. The pencils Molly had were only to threaten him to stop

attacking them and make a compromise. They had hoped they would become friends with

Edgar… or at least be cordial to each other.

"Di-did y-you kill h-him?" Mildred asked Molly in a trembling voice.

"No, he tore himself on a corner of a book". Molly replied solemnly.

"Oh" whispered Moe.

And the three little pigs picked every piece of Edgar and put him gently in the trash can.

"Well at least we're safe". Mildred said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. We could have been roasted pork." Moe joked. "Where are you going Molly?"

"To write a note" said Molly.

***

Early next morning, Ms. Holland entered her classroom immediately spotting broken

Edgar in the trash bin. On top of Edgar's remains was a very small note;

Sorry.

-M.

it said. Ms. Holland looked around the room feeling a tad silly. She crumpled up the note

and threw it in the trash bin with a puzzled look on her face that stayed there throughout

the whole day.

The End