Mario's team was the Penguins. And penguins, like other birds, lay eggs...

"C-Crosby? Sid?"

"Yes?"

"I, uh, meet me in the bathroom." He ran upstairs. Crosby followed.

Once they were there:

"Grab a towel and lay it on the floor, Sid."

Sid grabbed a lux, fleece towel of a camel color, and lied it flat, crease and fold-free on the ceramic tile floor.

"Sid, I must undress."

Sidney watched as Mario painstakingly took his pants/underwear off and lied down upon the towel, butt facing Sid.

"Sid, I lay eggs."

"What?!"

"Hey, don't look at me! You'll eventually do it too! What did you think would happen being on a team named after a bird?"

Sid was about to counter this, but a black/yellow splotched bulge protruding from Mario's anus said otherwise.

"*Pained grunt* Sid! It's coming out! I can't control it!"

"C'mon, Mario, it's almost out.", Sid tried not to sound disgusted from the pink, blood-spotted membrane bubble that popped once 90% of the egg was out, slathering its bloody goo onto the towel. He also tried not to sound aroused by Mario's bunghole that he swore was made of elastic because of its maximum stretching ability.

The egg fell with a muted thud on the towel, as Mario sighed in slight relief, and his hole shrinking to house...ANOTHER EGG!

"Oh, god.", Mario strained. "This one's even worse!" His hole opened to let the egg out, an inch at a time, then shrunk around the bulbous mass, blood trickling down the shell. Mario gripped the towel, secured his feet, and lifted his ass up.

"Sid, hold your ears. I'm gonna be loud."

Sid did so, for safety's sake.

"*hiss* AAAAAUUUUGHHH! It hurts soooo f'n much!"

*SCHLORP!*

"*sigh* Whoo! That's better!"

Both eggs were out. One with black splotches on a yellow shell, one with yellow splotches on a black shell. Crosby, ears uncovered, said:

"They're-they're just so beautiful!"

Mario groaned as he hobbled/limped to the toilet.

"What?"

"Afterbirth." Mario squirted out into the bowl the remains of the eggs' pouch of membrane (that sheltered them while in his body) into a lumpy, stagnant stew of poo chunks and urine.

"Oh dear god. That felt niiiice. Umph! That's it."

Sid just watched. Watched as Le Magnifique was dumping out tissue, membrane, and dense bodily waste.

*grunt!* *plop!*

"Ahhh! It just slides on out!"

Right when the final bit was shot out with a *ka-PLUNK!*, he invited Crosby over to look at his bowels' accomplishment. Sid immediately regretted agreeing to that. The pearl white bowl's contents was a skin as thin as Saran wrap, trapping one long, hard man-dump log, on the shore of a murky brown sea. The smell, reeking of rubbish that hasn't been taken out in a week, made his inner nose sting in agony.

"Eeugh! Why does it smell so bad?!"

"That, my friend, is the decomposing membrane and rotting, waste-mixed blood."

As Sid watched that poor toilet swirl and churn that vomit-inducing concoction into the plumbing, he couldn't think of what was more astonishing: the breathtaking designs of the eggs, or the fact that a GROWN MAN had laid them.