Hey guys, I know it's been a while, but I had one line come to me, and this is what was born of that. It's a lot shorter than most of my other Callie/Arizona stuff, but still ridiculously... never mind, I'll let you find out for yourselves. This hiatus is wreaking havoc on my mind... but I've found a great internet friend, and it's to her that I dedicate this story. You know who you are, awesome and all that. Plus it's kind of her fault that I'm here, posting this, because she bolstered my ego, and I was impervius to her, so what the hell. I don't own Grey's, and if I did, we would be having none of this baby nonsense, not that I'm not happy for Callie, because I am, but nonsense. I just want some CalZona lovin'... is that too much to ask for?
I assume you all said no.
Love you guys. Happy hunting ~ rawpotato
Who knew that three feet of uncharacteristically average hallway, would be Arizona Robbins' undoing. Certainly not her. Failure, in any form, wasn't a common occurrence for her, and she didn't like the thought that she was about to be defeated by a hallway. Or the thought of a hallway, or the distance the hallway represented.
Because if this were a movie, the hallway would stretch before her in a weird, twilight zone way, and that's how she felt. Taking a deep breath she opened her own door, 502, and made her way to 501. She'd made a promise to herself, that she would fight for Calliope, and she would. She just had to cross the hall first. Taking the first step she paused, thinking how easy one step was, and that she should just take another.
Finally, after the three steps it took to cross the hall, she reached 501. now this was the tricky part. Knocking. Steeling her nerves, she took another deep breath and rapped her knuckles against the blue wood, hating the way that she was once against in this position. The shaking of her knees, the trembling of her hands all dictated that she run, but she knew running is what had landed her here in the first place. She would stick to her word, she would not bail. Not this time.
Then with the waiting. Always with the waiting.
A long moment passed before the door opened slowly and Arizona felt herself sigh, peace settling upon her at the sight of her ex-lover. "Calliope." Was all she could manage. A little of her peace ebbed as she realized that she wasn't going to be invited in, but she would fight this fight here, anywhere really, but she'd had enough doorway confessions to last a lifetime. This battle would not end in a closed door, with them on opposite sides. She was keeping up her strong facade, but she wasn't sure how much longer it would last, how much stronger she could be.
So she dove in, like last time, "A good person, right now, would ask 'Do you love Mark?', would ask if you wanted to raise this baby with him, so at the risk of sounding really bad, I am not a good person." At those words, Callie's eyebrow raised a little, and Arizona felt a smile tug at her own lips as one corner of Callie's mouth lifted into a small smirk.
"I'm not a good person because I want to raise this baby with you. I want to be your partner in this, in the way that a partner, a girlfriend, should be. Because I love you." Arizona paused under the pretence of taking a breath, allowing her words to settle upon Callie, give them a moment to sink in.
"I love you. And I know I bailed last time kids came up, but I'm here, now, for this kid. I meant what I said, I'm not gonna leave you again. Baby, or no baby." Arizona stopped talking for real this time. Knowing that she would do everything in her power to stay with Callie. She knew that Callie had every right to leave her, to shut the door again, because she had screwed up. But they both had made mistakes, and Arizona was sure that they could both come out of that haze together, and stronger, if they actually were together.
A long moment passed in silence, and Arizona hoped that Callie would say something. Anything.
"You've broken me Arizona." The blond could feel her face falter with the words, and she knew that she should have been more specific in her hope for Callie to say something.
"I just," Arizona began, feeling her throat tighten with the pretence of tears.
"No." Callie's harsh voice cut her off, the words dying in Arizona's throat with the recursion of tears. "Just... let me talk. Please."
Arizona could only nod, afraid that her voice would betray the fear she felt. Afraid of what Callie could, or would say after that.
"You broke me. And then this amazing thing happened." Arizona felt dread rise within her, replacing the peace of only five minutes ago. Even the build up of tears in Callie's endless sepia toned eyes couldn't ebb the build up of dredge. "I've always dreamed of a family. But my dreams were you. You and me. And babies with blond hair, blue eyes and dimples to the moon."
Arizona let out a reluctant smile. Her dream was the same, except the babies had deep brown eyes, curly raven hair and caramel colored skin.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." Callie's voice hitched, and Arizona felt her own breath catch as the first few tears fell down Callie's cheeks. She longed to wipe away the tears, and take the brunette into her arms, but she sensed that Callie wasn't done yet, and she wanted to listen.
But she was scared.
Scared about what this baby might mean. That Callie might chose Mark, and not her. And she had every reason, plus a million more, to chose him.
"I wanted you to be my babies other parent. Because I do love you, with every piece of my shattered heart." Arizona released a shuttering breath at these words, her entire being conflicted with warring emotions.
"But I don't trust you." Now it was just one emotion. Grief. At the loss of trust, at the insurgence of Mark, at the impending doom, at everything. But mostly for the pain she saw evident in Callie's eyes.
"I'm so," she began, levelling her voice, only to be cut off by Callie once again.
"Stop saying you're sorry Arizona." Callie took a deep breath, steadying herself. "I know. I know you're sorry." Callie wiped her own tears furiously. "My dream, my dream is still you."
Arizona wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't. Those were the first words that had offered her any hope in the last few weeks, and the hoped knocked her feet right out from under her. She gripped the door jam, holding herself upright and gaining balance from the solid frame.
"But how can you expect me to raise a baby with you, if I don't trust you?"
That was an excellent question. One Arizona didn't know the answer for.
"Could I, no, could we," She began, ready to risk everything that she was holding up as a front, because if she knew one thing in this moment, it was that Callie would always be worth fighting for, no matter what. "Could we try again?" She asked hopeful.
"What do you mean?" Callie asked, confusion and intrigue written all over her face.
"I mean can we start over. Not from the kiss in Joe's, but like normal people. We date, you call me to buy you ice cream and peanut butter and pickles at four in the morning, you allow me to come to your doctor's appointments because if we make it back to where we were, but better, stronger, whatever else you need us to be, I'll be upset if I've missed those things." Arizona paused, knowing that she was probably pushing it with this last one, but she had no choice, when she decided that she would forget about Mark, and his role in this child's life, and try to win Callie back, she decided that she would actually forget him.
"When you feel the baby kick for the first time, you call me. Not Mark."
Arizona watched Callie's face, go through a large, and varying range of emotions, but at the last one, something softened in Callie's gaze, and Arizona didn't know what the Latina was thinking. So she hastened to add, "I'm not saying Mark shouldn't be called after, or as soon as I get there, but if we, me and you, are going to raise this baby, I need you to call me first." Arizona realized that she was begging Callie to understand, but she couldn't budge on this last point. She loved this woman with all her heart, and already she was loving this baby, because it was Callie.
And Mark, who'd she'd had to chose to love, but that love had ceased to be a choice, and something that just was. Boob grazes aside.
"So let me get this straight." Callie started, and Arizona nodded, breathlessly waiting Callie's words. "We start over. We go on dates, you buy me ice cream, and peanuts, and pickles, and I call you first." Arizona nodded, and smiled, hoping there wasn't a 'but' coming.
"That's your plan?" Callie laughed, lightly and happy, a trace of teasing in her voice. "Your brilliant plan, is to be my servant. My gopher, my back and call girl?"
Arizona was no longer sure where Callie was going with this, but she was starting to think it wasn't good. But then Callie started laughing for real, and Arizona was caught up in the sound, laughing right along with her. She wasn't sure how long they stood that way, laughing, eyes closed as joy and mirth overtook her, memories from before swirling about her, making her wish for that better future even more.
Slowly, and eventually their laughs subsided, leaving smiles upon both faces, eye's alight with something akin to love. Arizona melted a little at the way Callie was standing, her body against the door frame, left hand covering her still flat stomach. A new feeling emerged in her chest, protectiveness, and giddiness all wrapped in one. Raising her hand, she stopped inches from Callie's stomach, and lifted her blue eyes to meet her former lovers brown. It was then that Arizona knew that this was Callie's dream come true. Maybe not in the way she had planned, but dreams don't often come as planned, and she knew, without a shadow of doubt or a moment's hesitation that this, Callie with child, possibility and hope, was her dream come true.
"May I?" She whispered, hand still inches from Callie's stomach. A brief nod answered her question, and she stepped forward placing her hand slightly atop Callie's on her abdomen, wild feelings running amok through her body. She felt Callie tense and release a shaky breath at the contact, drawing Arizona closer to the other woman. Their fingers mingled, still laying flat on the stomach, and before she knew it, Callie's free arm was wrapped around her shoulders, and Arizona instantly twined hers around Callie's waist.
This was coming home. The stood still, wrapped in each other's arms, uncertainty in the future, but truth in this moment that no matter what, they were in this together. Arizona would be Callie's friend first, would earn back the trust and title of girlfriend, because she was no longer fighting for just Callie, she was fighting for her dreams, for her future with Callie.
"We can start over Arizona." All the tension that had built up in Arizona left with those words and she snuggled in close to Callie's shoulder, wrapping her arm tighter around the Latina's waist.
"I'd like that, Calliope. I'd like that very much."