"How on earth do I put up with them?" Edd muttered to himself as he sped along the hallway. "So … unsanitary."
Just that morning, Edd had suggested to Eddy that maybe he should cut back on his routine scamming, since the last one of his troublemaking schemes - or a better word would be, catastrophe - had ended with the three of them in the principal's office.
What did Eddy do? He set up what he called "a scam to end all scams". More specifically, a 'Celebrity Autographs' booth in the middle of the cafeteria - the autographed pictures being, of course, headshots of celebrities printed from the internet and signed by none other than Ed (Eddy had once again exploited Ed's uncanny ability to replicate signatures, this time not to fool Edd into thinking they were notes written by his parents, but to earn more measly quarters that would probably disappear by the end of the day anyway.)
When Ed's pen ran out of ink and he was reaching over for a new one, he clumsily managed to knock over Edd and tip over the garbage can; its filthy contents unfortunately spilled on the poor boy. Luckily, they had only sullied Edd's hands, but Edd, being the neurotic germaphobe he had always been, was about as calm as a cat in water.
Edd hustled into the boys' restroom and immediately headed towards the sinks. As soon as the lukewarm water poured onto his hands, he scrubbed and scrubbed meticulously with an abundance of soap until they were squeaky clean.
Satisfied, Edd grabbed a paper towel. However, as soon as he began to dry his hands, he heard something he'd failed to notice before in his desperate rush. Soft sniffles and husky, moaning sobs, emanating from the middle stall.
"Is that … Kevin?" Edd wondered quietly to himself. "Surely, it can't be … but it has to be. He was the only one absent in the cafeteria."
Slowly, Edd found himself walking toward the center cubicle. He put an ear next to the door and listened more closely to the wounded sounds. He then put a hand to his mouth, concerned. Edd knocked softly on the door.
"Kevin? Is everything all right?" No answer.
Edd leaned, frozen, against the door. Was Kevin really crying? Kevin, the so-called jock, who was too macho to ever shed a tear? Overwhelmed by compassion, Edd again tried to coax Kevin to reveal the source of his troubles.
"If you need to talk to someone, I'm right-"
"Just get out of here, dork!"
Edd jumped from shock. He gulped. He knew that staying in the bathroom was not a good idea, yet he felt guilty about leaving Kevin in this emotional state. It was in his nature to comfort others when they are in pain, and even Kevin, whom he considered almost a mortal enemy, was clearly in need of some love.
Sighing, he stepped towards the bathroom door, but that was about as far as he got. Now he was glued to the spot; his hand rested on the aluminium doorknob as he listened to Kevin's unfading crying.
Oh, this is ridiculous, he clearly doesn't want me here, he thought. But he continued to stand there for about a minute, growing more and more concerned.
Suddenly, Edd heard the stall door creak open and the soft sound of sneakers patting the ground. Startled, he frantically tried to open the door with his shaking hand, but he wasn't quick enough.
"What are you still doing in here, you dork? Didn't I tell you to get out?"
Edd turned around to see Kevin standing less than a meter away from him. He began to sweat liberally.
"K-K-Kevin! I'm t-terribly sorry, I-I was just leaving," he stammered, then stopped abruptly as he got a good look at Kevin's face for the first time. Kevin's eyes were bloodshot, and trails of drying tears lined both of his cheeks.
Oh my, he looks so distraught, Edd thought. He realized he had been staring at Kevin's face for a little too long, seeing as how the cold-blooded jock was now scowling at him in a manner most unpleasant.
"Why don't you take a picture? It'll last a lot longer," Kevin growled.
"I-I'm terribly sorry, I guess I was just …"
"What? Shocked that I'm capable of crying?"
"I … actually, not really," Edd said, his composure partly regained. "We humans are all capable of projecting our emotions in this fashion, some of course, more than others." He began to inch closer to the ground as Kevin's fist approached his face. "I-I suppose I've always assumed that should you feel the need to cry, you would do so in a more private setting, like your home perhaps?"
Suddenly, Kevin's eyes softened, and he slowly lowered his fist and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Believe me, home's the last place I want to be right now."
Edd was surprised. He got himself off the ground and said, "Oh? I realize I am trespassing into your personal life, but may I ask why?"
Kevin shuffled his foot and sighed. "Things ain't exactly good with me and my folks. My dad lost his job two months ago."
"At the jawbreaker factory?" Edd asked.
Kevin shook his head. "He hasn't worked there for years. But ever since he lost his job, he's been drinking again. A lot. And we just found out that my cousin, who's five years old and has some rare form of cancer, needs surgery pronto. But, you know, those surgeries don't come cheap.
"We've been trying to save up as much as possible, but since my dad is out of work it hasn't been easy. We've had to get rid of practically everything in our house. I even had to sell my bike.
"We've gotten so many loans I don't even know which money is ours anymore. But we're still not anywhere close to the amount that we need. And even if we could afford it, there's no guarantee that everything will resolve itself perfectly. The doctor said that even with the surgery, there's only a fifty-fifty chance she's gonna make it."
Edd felt his eyes get misty. What an awful situation, he thought. He'd always felt slightly depressed about his own family issues, given his cold and distant parents, but that seemed like nothing at the moment compared to Kevin's unforgiving life.
"But that's not why I was crying though," Kevin said. He looked down at the ground for a few seconds, sighed, and continued. "Last night my dad came home drunk, as usual. He started yelling at me about why can't I get better grades and that I'll never be someone important in life if I just think about sports all the time.
"I couldn't sleep that night. I just kept thinking about what he said, and it crushed me. He was right. I'm just scraping by with a C minus for all my subjects. It's not that I don't pay attention, I just really don't get any of that bogus they try to teach us, and I never really cared about that, until yesterday.
"I know it's still like five more years until we graduate high school, but my grades aren't going anywhere, and what am I going to do after I graduate? Be stuck with a crap job like my dad for the rest of my life, or beg on the streets? I'm … scared, Double D. What am I going to do?"
It was quiet for a minute, before Edd said softly, "I could help you."
Kevin's eyes widened. "You?"
Suddenly, the end of lunch bell rang. Edd reached into his pocket and handed Kevin a Kleenex.
"Why don't you stop by my house this evening, say 6:00? Bring your studybooks," Edd said, then strode out the door.
"So you see, that's how you find the hypotenuse of a right triangle," Edd explained. "Just simply add the squares of the …" He yawned. "other two sides, and voila!"
"Huh," Kevin said. "That actually makes sense now." Edd closed Kevin's math book that was lying on his bedroom desk.
"I believe that was the final lesson for today," Edd said. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Today was a very good start. I can see you're making lots of progress." He looked at his watch. "Oh, and would you look at that. It's nearly 8:30." He rubbed his eyes again.
"I really appreciate this, man," Kevin said. "I guess I should be heading home now. Uh … thanks for, the help, Double D."
Edd smiled tiredly. "Of course. My pleasure, Kevin."
Kevin got up. "Can you just promise me one thing, though?"
"Mmmm, sure, anything," Edd mumbled, his eyelids faltering.
"Can you not tell dor-I mean, Eddy or anyone else about this? It's nothing personal, just-"
"Say no more, I understand, Kevin. You don't have to worry …" He yawned. "about a thing."
Kevin grinned. "Cool, man. Uh, I'll see you around then, okay?" He looked down, and was surprised to see Edd had fallen fast asleep on his bureau.
"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy," Edd mumbled.
Kevin chuckled softly. "The little dork dozed off." He paused, suddenly realizing he had a rare opportunity. "Hmm … let's see what's under that hat of yours."
Kevin slowly reached for Edd's hat and peeked under the fabric. He was shocked to find a bed of soft, blonde curls.
Holy shit, he thought. Double D's a blond! Well … he sure ain't a dumb blond.
Mesmerized by this discovery, Kevin again lifted up just a tiny bit of Edd's black cap and gazed at Edd's beautiful hair.
Why would he want to hide this? Kevin thought. He's got the best looking hair in the cul-de-sac! I guess he's just really modest.
Kevin then decided to take further advantage of Edd's slumbering state and leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Kevin thought he saw a small smile form on Edd's lips. He then grabbed his books and tiptoed towards Edd's bedroom door.
To a small degree, Kevin regretted that he'd looked underneath Edd's forbidden hat, because he knew that the next time he saw Edd, it was going to be very hard to resist yanking it off to stare at those lovely blond tresses again.
Don't worry, Double Dork, your secret's safe with me.
Kevin carefully slid open the door and stepped out. He looked at the sleeping Edd one last time and smiled.
"Sweet dreams, Goldilocks."