Ok, I didn't realize this until ages after the split off of fictionpress from fanfiction that fanfiction had screwed up the formatting on this piece. So, I had to download it and change it all...do you know how long it takes!?! I didn't have the original on my comp! But anyway, I re-did the formatting and fixed up some grammatical errors. So, there you go.

Disclaimer: I do this with every fic I do no matter the fandom. *sigh* FAN-fiction, get the point? I don't any of the characters here and I am not making a profit out of this. *snort* I wish!

Author: Roz

Email: aeterno_estel@hotmail.com

Title: Smile because it happened

Genre: Angst/AU/death

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: *in best cookie monster voice* GIVE ME FEEDBACK!! FEEDBACK!! I lurve feedback! I live for it!!! Getting the hint? ^.~

Archival: Oh, tell me where you want to archive it so I can visit ur site as well!

Summary: Zoro has a 2nd fight with Mihawk which doesn't have a happy ending. Nami's POV. Slight pairing. [Death scene] REFORMATTED

Want some tissues?

****

I don't know how many times I've seen you hurt. I don't know how many times I've seen you bleed. I don't know how many scars you've accumulated because of us. I remember when you came to rescue your best friend. A friend you'd only known for a little while. I remember you walked over to talk to him, to reassure him and then there was blood.

I was so close I could've stopped him. As it was I tasted the blood, and knew it wasn't mine. The coppery taste on my tongue that'll never, ever go away. Even when I'm standing here, staring at the sky I remember it. I remember the expression of pain on your face.

But that didn't stop you. You ran to your friend, lifted up his cage and ran. There was so much blood that I was able to follow the trail that you left. No matter how hard I clench my eyes shut I'll always see your body - broken, cut and bleeding.

When you saw me, after I'd betrayed you all, you couldn't hide the disgust in your face. I swear, the look on your face nearly made me break down. To think that you had trusted me like that and then I'd taken that trust and broken it. But as they say: The means justifies the end. The person that wrote that, obviously didn't realize how much the means can hurt.

Even though I'd broken that trust, you still trusted me. You threw yourself into the ocean, just to see if I'd save you. It was then that I realized that there was something between us. You didn't see it but it was plain to me. It was something that only us women can see. And still, I was a self- centered bitch.

If I wasn't so self-centered we could have had something you know. But when I looked into your eyes I could tell that your heart was closed. It had been taken years ago, before you'd even thought of being a pirate. I don't think I'll ever be able to realize how much you loved Kuina. You know, Luffy told me all about your starvation at the Marines. How you'd saved that little girl and signed your death warrant. How you told that little girl and Luffy to get lost, knowing that if they helped you, they would be sentenced to death as well. He also told me that your promise to Kuina was the only thing that made you turn to piracy. Not that I'm complaining. Meeting you was one of the best things that happened in my life. That and stealing all that money. Jeez, we could have rented a town for the night and partied till the dawn of light.

There are so many examples it hurts to think of them. Usopp's village. When you stopped Usopp from shooting those brothers. You took that bullet. I can't imagine how big a bruise you had there for weeks on end. And then you got cut, again. Thanks to us and our actions.

Little Garden. When we were captured, and stuck on that big cake thingy. To be turned into candle. I swear, I thought that was it. The end. And you turned around and started to cut yourself. I almost fainted, I thought that you were commiting suicide. Once again, you proved me wrong. The thought never crossed my mind that you were cutting yourself free - by cutting yourself to bits. The thought still makes me sick. Seeing the sword cut into your skin and the blood staining the wax red. It must have hurt so bad but you didn't show it at all. Vivi tried to stop you but I could see that it was the last act of defiance.

As I look down at your swords now, I realize how much they meant to you. They were the only stable things in your life.

I wasn't there when you fought Mihawk but I saw the evidence of it afterwards. I heard all about it too. When your two swords shattered you must have been deeply shocked. Those swords were like your life. Them breaking must have crushed your heart. Of course Kuina's sword withstood the blows. To think that while this fight was going on, I was sailing away on your boat. Treachery, deceit, pain, sorrow, disbelief. I don't know what you felt but I know what I felt. Regret. Regret that I wasn't there to cheer you on in the hardest fight in your life. That day I nearly lost you. Mihawk nearly killed you. And I wasn't there to help. No, I had betrayed you all and left.

Well, this time I was there. The second round. I saw the triumph in your eyes when you fought. I saw the tentative look in Mihawk's eyes as you battled. I saw the way that he tested you and was pleased. I saw him get tougher and tougher. I saw that even while you had been training he also, hadn't slacked off. It was a brilliant fight. The flash of the light on the blades, the harsh clang of steel on steel. I swear Kuina†s sword almost glowed with pride. A second chance against the master. And you didn't fail. He was pleased and even though you were sweating and had fallen heavily several times he was showing some wounds from the fight.

Then the finale. You had been training so hard, you deserved this. You had searched you soul, heart and mind for this last technique. And it worked out beautifully. Mihawk fell. The hawk gave way to the younger falcon. Even though he had lost, he was proud of his predecessor. As he left he said, "Pride reigns in my heart, to give the crown to a boy like you". You were so happy, I could tell. Even though you had your back to me your body language said it all.

When he got back on his boat, we all ran to congratulate you.

Then you turned around.

I thought that I'd never see you hurt as bad as when I saw you in Arlong Park. I mean, you're Zoro. You're invincible! But then you turned around and I saw what I dreaded - blood. You didn't even seem to notice it at all, you just grinned that damn devious grin of yours and I hugged you. I thought I had been hallucinating, just my mind imagining the worst things possible.

Shit, I hate it when I'm right. When I pulled back my shirt was soaked. Not with something as innocent as your sweat, no. I stared in horror at the dark, crimson stains. You have no idea how long I had to scrub to get your life off my skin. You lifted up my chin, looked into my eyes and collapsed.

The others weren't too worried, you'd been hurt before - you'd shake it off and everything would go back to normal. You'd lift weights, play cards, brawl with Sanji and drink. Everything would go back to normal. Normal. Isn't it such a funny word when you look at it for a while?

So we carried you into Chopper, so he could give the bandages that we had come so used to seeing on your body. Sanji was saying he'd cook up a big feast so we could celebrate your victory, Luffy wanted meat, Usopp was saying he was going to build something in that memory, and you were quiet. Too quiet. There was no muttering, no heavy breathing, no fluttering eyelids as you battled to come out of the deep sleep.

We left you in Chopper's room so he could do his magic, but I was scared. You were too quiet, and Choppers normally expressionless face looked worried. So we left. I mean, you're Zoro, you're invincible. Zoro without blood? That just impossible. Its just not you, without blood.

So while everyone went around their business, getting ready for the big celebration, I paced the deck. Up, back, up, back. I swear, I now know every hole in those wooden planks, every knot and every stain.

Then Chopper came out. He looked so sad, in fact, I still believe there were tears in his eyes. He didn't say anything to me, just looked at my anxious face, and motioned to me to follow. So I did. He gathered everyone together above deck and while Luffy was complaining about his stomach, he broke the news.

Have you ever had the feeling that your stomach has just fallen out? That someone has got your heart in their hand and then clenched it tight? In fact, I nearly threw up when he confirmed what I thought.

You had been hurt, bad. So bad, that it would be a miracle if you recovered. Too much blood loss, shattered bones, pierced lungs, internal bleeding, horrible bruising - your body had just taken too much.

There was a stunned silence and then everything started saying stuff like, "That's just not possible!! It's Zoro, he'll fight it and win! He'll bounce back!"

And me? I think my tears said it all. I ran. Just like you had ran years ago from Buggy.

Everyone else followed and we all went into the room that you were in. You were lying bandaged on a bed, the crisp white linen hiding the serious injuries that you had sustained. We all gathered around you bed, to wait out the vigil. It was only a couple of hours when you woke up. You looked up at all our worried faces, and just knew instinctively that it was over for you.

Even as I stand on the cliff where we laid you to rest I can still remember your words, "No regrets. I kept my promise", and you smiled. Not a sad one but a genuinely happy smile.

It was the first time I'd seen Luffy cry. He'd known you longer then any of us, he had the right. That did it to us. We all broke down and you got mad. Mad that we were showing pity over the greatest swordsman in the world. I guess you had a point.

Then you closed your eyes and left us. You left in the typical Zoro way. You went to sleep..but you didn't wake up again. We all fell into a depression after that. Nothing mattered anymore, it just wasn't the same without you. There was no point doing anything anymore.

They say time heals everything but it will take longer then my lifetime for that particular wound to heal. But life goes on, and there's no way you can avoid it. I think you'd like the fact that everything we do....is for you. And me? I don't cry because it's over - I smile because it happened.

Shit, it still hurts though.

To think that'll I'll never look into your eyes again, never see you asleep, never see you drink, never see you live, hurts.

I lay your swords down and a tear falls, catching the moonlight before it drops onto Kuina's sword curling around the handle to drop to the ground below.

I guess you got what you wanted though. Maybe now you'll find out if you can beat Kuina.

The End