Hiiii! :D Hmm… I'm at my grandma's house, and everyone's asleep. Hehe. Yay! I finally finished this! I loved writing this, so I'm hoping you guys will like it, even though this is different to what I usually write. I'm gonna warn you guys; this contains lovey dovey content. Lol. xD It's only a little, don't worry. ;)
So who's up for some Jendall cuteness and Kendall angst? :D Someone say: "Me!" :P
When it came to Kendall and Jo's relationship, Kendall always found himself being the comforter. He was always the one to pick up the pieces when Jo felt like her life was crumbling down. And it's not like he minded, because he loved her, and he would do anything to make her happy and see her smile again. But there were those nights in which he just felt like he needed to be comforted. Nights in which he just wanted to shut the world out and have someone hold him in their arms. Frankly, he didn't care who it was, as long as it was someone he could trust.
In this particular night, Kendall felt like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He just wanted to fall apart right then and there, because he felt like he had lost all hope and faith. He felt completely lost, not knowing which way to turn, or what path to take in life.
Gustavo was his problem. The frequently-angry and non-stop-yelling music producer of Big Time Rush was starting to get on his last nerve. He was tired of the frequent yelling he had to endure on a daily basis. For once, he wanted to go to work and not have to be called a "dog" right in his face. Was it seriously that hard for Gustavo to refer to him and his best friends by their actual names? Because the last time Kendall had looked in the mirror he didn't remember seeing any signs of looking anything at all like a dog.
The blond sat on the edge of one of the lounge chairs near the famous Palm Woods pool. It was chilly outside, so he found himself wearing a pair of jeans, a soft, warm jacket over a plain white T-shirt, and a wooly beanie to cover up his soft strands of golden hair. His elbow was resting against his lap; right hand cupping his chin so that his head was resting against the palm of his hand. His soft, green eyes lingered on the crystal blue water in front of him. The only sound that could be heard was that of the gentle yet chilly breeze blowing through the palm trees near him.
Kendall was no stranger to this feeling. He often found himself lost, with nowhere to go. Of course, when it came to his best friends, Kendall always had the answers to any of their problems, but when it came to himself, it was a whole different story.
He was tired; tired of Hollywood and everything that came along with being famous. Being a pop star had never been his dream. That had always been James' dream. Never had the thought of becoming a singer ran through his head. He had always thought he would be a hockey player, maybe even the captain for the Minnesota Wilds. But part of a famous boy band? Never.
The thought of moving back to Minnesota had crossed his mind several times in the past few weeks. While the idea seemed tempting, he didn't want to leave everything and everyone else behind. It wouldn't be fair to everyone else if he left. He felt the need to stay, because if he left, wouldn't he be giving up on them?
Kendall Knight never gave up on anyone, especially on the people he loved.
Kendall let out a small sigh as he played around with his fingers. His head was no longer resting on the palm of his hand, rather bent downward to stare at his fingers and shaking hands. He felt so lost, and all he wanted was for someone to come over and help him decide what it was that he was supposed to do. He hated not having the answers. It felt so wrong.
"Kendall?"
The blond boy jumped in surprise when a soft and gentle voice was heard from his left. He turned around in his seat and met the eyes of Jo Taylor, who had now taken a seat beside him on the lounge chair to his left. He offered her a small smile, even though it felt forced; not quite reaching the corners of his eyes.
"Oh, it's just you," he said softly, his cheeks tinted a light pink in embarrassment. "Never sneak up on me like that again. You almost gave me a heart attack."
"Sorry." Jo's eyes seemed to study his own for a second or two, lips forming into a tight line. "Is something the matter? You seem… different."
"Different? I'm fine, Jo… I… I don't know what you're talking about."
The blonde chuckled as she moved a strand of her hair to hide behind her ear. "You know you're a terrible liar, right? It's so obvious you're not telling the truth. Now, what's really bothering you? And don't say it's nothing, because I can tell you're hurting." Her voice seemed to soften after that. "You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, Kendall."
Kendall smiled a little at her words. He knew he could trust her; it just felt odd to tell her how he was feeling. She was a girl; she wouldn't understand, right? Or… maybe she would.
"Honestly… I don't even know where to start. For the last few days, Gustavo has really been getting in my nerves. He's often yelling at me to get better. Apparently the fact that I'm trying my best is not enough to satisfy him. I… I kinda want to go back to Minnesota. This isn't my dream; it's James'. I shouldn't even be here..."
He hated the way his voice seemed to quiver at the very end. Tears he had not acknowledged threatened to slip from his eyes, but he forced them to stay hidden behind his half-closed eyelids. His gaze was once again set on his fidgeting fingers.
"Well, is that what you really want?" Jo questioned in a gentle tone. Kendall could only stare at the ground, embarrassed by the whole conversation.
"I don't know. I mean… I miss Minnesota. I'm tired of Gustavo and his bratty attitude. But I don't want to leave anyone else behind. Katie seems to be really happy over here. Even though she doesn't really have any friends her own age, she still seems to get along with everyone here at the Palm Woods. My mom's happy, too. I can see it in her eyes. Carlos loves it here. He loves the crib, especially Swirly. Logan has changed a lot since we got here, but I mean that in a positive way. He's less shy. He has actually attempted to make new friends. He's no longer the kid who got bullied in school. He's happy. And James… James is living the dream he has always dreamed of having. I can't take that away from him by chickening out of this whole boy band thing. I don't know what to do, Jo."
The tears freely leaked from his eyes and rolled down his pale cheeks. A sob slipped from his lips and penetrated the air around the two teenagers. Before he could even apologize for being such a coward, he found himself in the arms of the blonde girl. He felt so lost and scared. Instead of tearing away from her hold, he let his tired body melt against her soft embrace. His head limply leaned against her shoulder; arms moving to hug her as well.
"Wanna know what I think?" Jo whispered in his ear.
"Please." His voice was nothing but a whisper. A childlike whisper.
"I think that Gustavo has been getting to you. I don't think you really want to leave; you're just tired of his continuous nagging. Think about it. Your best friends are here, and so is your family. Do you really want to leave all of that behind just because Gustavo is being all loud and ignorant?"
Kendall let out a shaky breath as he buried his nose against the soft fabric of her sweater. "I guess not. It's just… I don't want this. I mean, I love my job. I love singing with my best friends. I love the Palm Woods. I love… everything. But this was never my dream."
"But your dream's not lost, Kendall. Big Time Rush will not last forever. Eventually, you will all have to leave for college. James will eventually have his own solo career. Carlos will somehow accomplish his dream of making the world a better place. Logan will become a great doctor sooner or later. And you will become the captain for the Minnesota Wilds. Nothing's lost."
"You think so?"
Jo pulled away from Kendall and looked him in the eyes. "No. I know so."
Kendall's couldn't help the smile that came to his face. "Thanks, Jo."
"That's what I'm here for," she said with a smile of her own. "I just don't like seeing you so down in the dumps." She poked him on the stomach, earning a childish giggle from the green-eyed boy. "Aww! I made you giggle!"
She poked him again. Another giggle.
"Stop it!" Kendall suddenly yelped. "I hate being tickled."
"I'm not tickling you; I'm simply poking you. Then again, it did make you giggle."
"Whatever, I'm going upstairs." With a playful huff Kendall got up from his seat and started to walk over to the entrance of the hotel. But right before reaching the entrance, he turned around and smiled. "You coming?" He held out his hand, urging her to follow him.
With a smile, Jo followed his moves and slipped her hand in his; their fingers intertwining together. "You bet I am," she said jokingly as they both made their way to the elevator.
Kendall smiled a real smile that reached the corners of his eyes. He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "You're the best."
"And don't you forget it!"
Kendall giggled as he leaned forward and rubbed his nose against Jo's playfully; his forehead resting against hers. "I love you."
Jo smirked. "I love you, too."
Well that last part was lovey dovey. Haha. xD Did you guys like it or hate it? Maybe a little of both? Geesh, I hope you liked it… :) I'm gonna try and work on one of my stories while everyone's asleep. :D Now… BYE! Thanks for reading! :P
~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)
