From The Gospel of Marc
Chapter 1
And lo, the desert was spread out before Her. The Divine Shania in Her robes of leopard skin was to begin the first of Her many trials.
For She was holy, and known to be holy. And the people revered Her. But there those who doubted Her divinity. And She said unto the people, "Behold the desert before you. For though it is a great expanse, I shall overcome it easily. And you shall know through my trials that I am The Holy Twain, The Divine Shania, She Of The Spotted Coat, The One Who Must Be Impressed."
And She did pack with Her a perfectly round bag. And this bag did represent her oneness with all that is, ever was, and ever will be. The bag was made of the same skin as Her robes. She wandered into the desert to face that which is meant to be overcome.
She came across a man. And She did know him as a deceiver. And he did claim to be one of the learned. He possessed knowledge of fire, flight, and of unworldly things. But this did not impress The Holy Twain much. And She did say unto him, "Do not be mistaken by my words, 'lo I find thee acceptable, but you shall not provide me warmth in my bed chamber, through the nights."
And She did continue into the desert, leaving the deceiver, the learned, behind. And thus She continued wandering. And in time, She came upon the second of the trials. And the man was pleasing to gaze upon. And his visage did bear resemblance to the Elder Pitt, Bradley the Thespian.
And he did appear overly concerned with his outward appearance, having on his person at all times items to maintain his beauteous form. The Divine Shania was not fooled by his worldly looks and charm. And She did say unto him, "Do not be mistaken by my words, 'lo I find thee acceptable, but you shall not provide me warmth in my bed chamber, through the nights."
And She did continue on her journey, leaving behind he who was black of heart.
She then came upon a man driving a well-made chariot. And he adored his vessel. He did offer the Holy Twain passage through the desert. He said unto her, "Allow me to return you to civilization, where a woman of your status duly belongs. But in order to ride with me, you must first remove your garments, which have been dirtied by this world." But She Of The Spotted Coat was not impressed much. She responded, "This must be in jest. That you show more affection for your vessel than those who would use it. Do not be mistaken by my words, 'lo I find thee acceptable, but you shall not provide me warmth in my bed chamber, through the nights."
And She did continue into the desert, leaving behind the materialist. As She did, a man on a dark steed approached Her. And She did not let him utter words. She knew in Her heart of hearts that he would be unable to impress Her much. She spoke, "You think yourself one of fame and of popularity, an entertainer, a distracter, a wild man, a learned traveler, a warrior. But none of these distract me from my journey. Do not be mistaken by my words, 'lo I find thee acceptable, but you shall not provide me warmth in my bed chamber, through the nights."
And having faced Her trials with honor and grace, The Divine Shania, She Of The Spotted Robe, did return to those who doubted Her. And they did weep, for they saw the truth of her divine light, and did fall on their knees in reverence.