She sat there with the pencil in her grasp, wondering about how she should write her feelings down without sounding like a prissy sap. She thought for a half an hour before she even begun to figure out how she would start it just hit the redhead. Words flowed from her pencil as she wrote the events of what had happened to her that day, not caring anymore if she sounded like a sap. Dear Diary, Today Donnie and I were working on the Shellraiser and Metalhead. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's just... I don't know. I felt something different between us, not in a bad way of course! I felt my heart speed up when I really observed him and thought about what he meant to me, and how he'll always be there when I fall...Oh wait! Does this mean I like him!?... Alright, Alright. Truth be told I already knew I "sorta" liked him, but I've fallen for him, even harder than before. Really who wouldn't want a smart, kind-hearted, hot, ninja as a boyfriend?! Well, I can't say anything because I can't lose the best friend and brotherly figure I've ever had. Even though he means so much more to me than just that. I guess some secrets are meant to be kept a secret... I just wish it wasn't this one. She closed the purple book with the yellow heart shaped lock, closed her eyes and sighed, laying down with the book on her torso, wondering why it took so long for her to just write those couple of sentences. She quickly tucked the book under her pillow when she heard a faint, distinct, knock at her slide door. "Be right there." April said only audible enough for the shady figures at the door to hear. She opened the slide door to see the tall, lanky, figure of Donatello and his brothers. "Hey guys what's up?" April asked. "Hey April! I was wondering... if you'd want to come grab some takeout from Murakami's with me and the guys." Donnie said with a nervous smile at the end. "Yeah sounds great. Just let me fix myself up. You can sit down if you guys want." She told them. All four brothers climbed in while she entered the bathroom to freshen up. Mikey laid next to April's pillow kicking his feet up and down, when a corner of a book caught his eye. He looked around seeing if his brothers were watching. Thankfully they were in the middle of talking about invading TCRI and all the " boring stuff ", as Mikey calls it. He grinned wide and mischievously, grabbed for the book and begun to read from where she left off. Dear Diary... Mikey read. He continued until the bottom of the entry. Once he finished, he sat their wide eyed and open mouthed at what he had just read. He couldn't believe what she wrote. Then a smile spread across his face. Three pairs of eyes turned and stared at Mikey in confusion. "What are you doing?" Leo asked sternly. "Nothing!" Mikey answered quickly as he hid the book behind his shell. "What's behind your back avocado brain." Raph asked, crossing his arms waiting for an answer. "Nothing really!" Mikey said with a fake grin' and they could all tell he was a guilty suspect. Mikey we all know you get nervous when you lie. It's a fact." Donnie stated. "It's nothing." He once again said. "Oh really? So you won't mind if we look behind your shell?" Raph said with a certain tone that Mikey knew would lead to trouble. All three brothers looked at each other than back at Mikey and ambushed him. Mikey was pinned and Leo grabbed for the object. Leo finally got a hold on the book, while the other two held Mikey down. "No don't!" Mikey yelled. He desperately struggled to get up before his brothers figured out what it was. The blue claded turtle then finally got a good look at the object. "What the... When did April get a diary?" Leo asked. "Wait! Mikey, this is Aprils' diary! I can't believe you. Everyone knows your never supposed to read this. If April found out about this she'd"-find out about what? She interrupted. When she saw what was in Leo's hands she gasped and stared in horror. She looked up from her diary, and squinted with a murderous expression on her face. Yet she feared for what they had read, but didn't show it. "Who read it?," was her simple yet demanding question. A chorus of three said, "Mikey!" She snapped her head in his direction and said in a growl, "Bathroom. Now." Mikey hung his head in fear and worry for what might happen to him. April might be small in size, but she sure is intimidating. They both entered the small bathroom in her apartment as April locked the door behind them. She crossed her arms and kept her watch on him. "Mikey... I'm gonna ask you this only one time, and I better get a direct answer. Why did you read my diary?" She said slowly. He was sweating bullets at that point and finally burst. "I'm sorry, but it was too tempting! I couldn't take it." He yelled. " It's alright, but what do you have to say for yourself?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer." "I'm sorry, for reading your diary." He said quietly. "That's okay I forgive you, but Mikey... What did you read?" She asked. "Ummm... Maybe, just maybe, you have the hots for my brother." He said. She stood there frozen like a statue for at least a minute. April? Mikey asked concernedly. He waved his hand in front of her eyes and she snapped back to reality. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" She panicked. She was breathing heavily unable to control the thoughts that raced through her mind. Would Donnie be angry, upset, confused, weirded out if he knew?! This couldn't be happening. How could she have been so clumsy to have left that much of my diary out in the open. "Wait. He can't be upset if he doesn't know." She thought. "Mikey... Don't you say a word about what we just talked about, or of what you read. Understand. She said, her voice commanding, but not angry. If he ever found out about that... I don't know what would happen. It could be so horrible and I can't risk that. I've lost so much already. I can't lose him too." "I understand, but what if...", Mikey couldn't finish before he was cut off. "What ifs aren't facts, there's just no way to be sure." April told him. She had sat down on the vanity sink and there was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air for awhile. Mikey attempted to talk, but figured he better keep his mouth shut. April had always hated dead air, and she couldn't take it anymore. "Let's go." She finally said. They were walking out the door when she whispered, "Not a word." He nodded and they continued through the door. _ "So what do you think is going on in there?" Leo asked. "I don't know, but that shell for a brain probably won't even think about touching that book again. Raph said. But when does he ever think?" The two walked through the door like nothing had happened. "You ready to get some pizza gyoza?" She asked. Let's go I'm starving! Mikey said with enthusiasm. "April... are you okay?" Donnie asked suspiciously. Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be. She asked. "Well, our idiot of a brother read your diary, that's why." Raph said. "Don't worry, it's like it never even happened. Right Mikey?" April asked. "Yep... Nothing happened." Mikey said. They climbed out the window onto the fire escape into the darkness, and vanished among the rooftops. "Remember Mikey, a secret." She whispered into his ear. He looked at his brother who would kill to know this, and frowned when April wasn't looking. How was he supposed to keep this a secret from Donnie? "If only he had read it and not me..." Mikey said to himself. An hour had passed and they had gone to Murakami's, and brought the food back to the lair for a more convenient evening together as a family. Mikey knew he wouldn't be able, no couldn't, be able to resist telling at least one of his brothers that April loved Donnie. It was to much for one person to bear. Especially when it was that big. They spread the food out on the table and prepared to eat. April kept a close eye on Mikey because she knew he had a reputation for not being able to keep his mouth shut. Finally, her gaze was no longer on him, but focused on the rest of her family. While the guys and April ate, Mikey decided the one she loved would be the best choice to tell April's feelings to. Mikey managed to get Donnie to follow him into his lab without April suspecting a thing. They both entered, and Mikey locked the door. "Mikey, what's this about?" Donnie asked aggravated. He really just wanted to enjoy his night with April. "Bro I need to tell you what I read in April's diary." Mikey whispered. " Really!? He said surprised. No. I'm not going to let you tell me her personal feelings and emotions. That would be wrong, and uncalled for." Donnie said. His conscious was telling him, "Are you a freaking idiot!", yet his other side was saying "Don't fall into temptation Donnie. You're better than that." Unfortunately for him, he always listened to the obedient side. Although it was a giant pain to always have to be the good child. "Dude you don't get it, she"- Mikey! Donnie yelled. "They're "her" personal feelings not yours. If she wanted us to know she would've told us herself, so drop it." Donnie said trying to calm his tone. He walked out the door about to enter their makeshift living room and continue his dinner when Mikey shouted, "But April loves you!" Mikey covered his mouth with both hands the moment those words came out, and noticed he just shouted it through the entire lair. Donnie looked back at Mikey flabbergasted, while April had froze, mortified. She felt her heart drop when everyone's gaze was at her. She looked at Donnie with teary eyes. She closed her eyelids tightly holding back the droplets that threatened to appear. Then she ran not looking back at her friends surprised looks. "April wait!" Donnie shouted. She had almost completely disappeared into the darkness of the sewers, but he could just make out an outline as he chased after her. She was panting heavily, not planning on stopping until she tripped on a pipe. She was on the floor clenching her fists and grabbing her ankle because she had failed. She was going to lose Donnie all because of something she wrote down. The tears finally spilled from her eyes, and ran down her porcelain cheeks. She hated herself for being this weak. How could she have let this happen? "April!" She heard Donnie call her name, but she couldn't look up. She hadn't gotten far when he had finally caught up with her. He saw her on her knees with her head down. Then he kneeled in front of her, and tried to wipe away her tears, but she turned her head the other way. "April... Why did you run?" He asked softly. She sobbed more when he asked her that question. She didn't answer because she couldn't face him right now, but she decided that she'd have to talk sometime. "I was afraid. Afraid of being rejected, abandoned,... Of losing my family." April said with a crippled voice. She screwed her eyes shut when more tears were released because she couldn't bear the thought of that happening. "April. You should know that would never happen. We love you too much. I love you, and I'll die before that day comes. He scooted next to her and rubbed small circles on her back with his thumb. For once in his life he wasn't exactly sure what to do. Did he push the subject or just comfort her? "I don't get it. Why would you care so much for someone like me?" She asked, her voice cracking through her sobs. Her head hung in shame. "Why would you care for someone like "me"." Donnie replied, as he caressed her cheek. "I get your point, but I thought you would think I was weird and hate me if I told you the truth. I just didn't want to lose you because you mean so much to me." April said. "April... I haven't been completely honest with you." He said with confidence. She looked up at him with her glassy eyes that seemed they could be shattered at the slightest touch, and it tore him to pieces. "I've loved you since the very first time I saw you walking down the street from on the rooftop. I've loved you even when you hated me. I've loved you the entire time I've known you, and I will never stop loving you. Donnie said with every ounce of sincerity he had. "Really?" April asked surprised. "Yes, and I promise I will do whatever it takes, to make up for all the time that I didn't tell you." Donnie told her. "Wait. What would happen if we got angry at each other, and then we'd hate each other then..." April begun to say panicking all over again. "Shhh." Donnie shushed April and put a finger on her lips. "That won't happen. I swear that even if something does happen, I will never hate you." Donnie said to her. She smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. "I love you." She said. "I love you more." He replied. Donnie reached out to pull April up, and her hand slipped perfectly into his larger one. They begun to head back home when he noticed April had a limp. He carefully picked her up bridal style and walked down the sewers, knowing the challenges they'd face ahead, but they didn't care. All they knew was that they loved each other and that was all they needed to know. They headed into the lair with no regrets anymore because life is too short anyway not to take chances with those you love. Authors Notes: I'd like to thank Queen Peresphone the Godess and ARTPOOP for commenting on my first fanfic. I'd also like to thank PurpleKittyFangirl, for really being my inspiration. I never would have wrote if it wasn't for your awesome stories! Keep writing. Thanks for Everything , Purpledaisygirl (aka Pdg I may use that to shorten it)