Bottom of the garden
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl
There was a fairy in the bottom of the Fowl Rose Garden.
Beckett and Myles had found her while playing 'Spies' which really wasn't as fun as one would think because Myles insisted they act like real spies which meant less running around with make believe gadgets shooting pretend guns and more lying beneath hedges preforming Surveillance. Which was boring because Myles insisted that while on Surveillance real spies never talked. Beckett had suggested they come up with a secret code but Myles said not talking was better, unless they could come up with a non verbal code that could be accurately used while under a bush.
They couldn't.
They had been pretending that they were in a jungle, Beckett said South American Myles was partial to Borneo, watching villains trying to smuggle Bornean/South American artifacts to sell on the black market; when all of a sudden a Fairy materialized on the top of the Sacred Bornean/South
American Temple. Which was in reality a stone bench.
The boys knew instantly what she was. They were boys and were therefore alienated themselves from the girly world of Fairy's and princesses. Beckett had had a fondness for unicorns simply because he thought having a horn on your head was cool this quickly dissipated when he discovered the existence of Narwhals which in addition to being real were also not associated with ponies. But both Beckett and Myles clearly remembered bedtime stories about the little people usually ones that involved vast amounts of gold.
And what else could this creature be but a Fairy? She was small, barely taller than the twins themselves but it wasn't just her height everything about her was tiny. She was a miniature person. Her ears were pointed, which Myles couldn't help but note was a trait more commonly associated with elves not fairies. And she was dressed in what looked like a double breasted coat made of large leaves with matching ankle boots, not quite a gown of gossamer and flower petals but close enough.
The Fowl Twins looked at each other vampiric grins stretching across their usually deceptively innocent faces.
They were both about to spring from their hiding place with cries of "Take us to your gold!" when their older brother entered the scene.
"What under the Earth are you wearing?" He asked. The Fairy huffed
"Hello Holly how have you been? Oh you know the usual how about you Artemis?" She said.
"I've been wonderful now back to your...ah...what are you wearing?"
"It's vintage. Flowers and leaves are all the rage again"
"I wasn't aware you followed trends so closely" Artemis said dryly the Fairy, Holly, rolled her eyes.
"Hardly. It's everywhere there isn't a shop in Haven that has clothes that aren't made from synthetic petals and spider silk do you know how many stores Cabilline and I went to to find this coat, trust me Arty this is as plain as I could get!"
"Well it's nice. It's just this is a little, fairytale don't you think?"
"Like I said it's Vintage"
"So Fairy's actually used to wear flower petal dresses and acorn hats?"
"When my mother was a teenager yeah. Now what did you call me here for"
"Oh no particular reason, just a social visit" Artemis announced casually placing his hands into his pockets. Holly scowled and punched him lightly
"You made me use up a day of my sick leave just to come and visit I thought you had something important to show me!"
"Oh come now it's not like you were saving it for anything everyone knows how much you despise breaks and besides what do fairies get sick with aside from...well you know" Artemis trailed off sheepishly. Something Myles and Beckett had never seen, they weren't entirely sure what they were more shocked by: The fairy in their garden or their older brother looking genuinely embarrassed and remorseful. Even more shocking was what happened next. The Fairy stood up on the bench and placed a tiny hand against Artemis' face and he smiled. The boys quickly slapped hands over eachother's mouths to stop themselves from gasping and giving themselves away.
Artemis smiling a smile that didn't make him look like a creature of the night was the strangest thing Beckett and Myles had ever seen.
"Fairy's have lots of sicknesses, most of them are pretty routine virus's Magic usually takes care of them. There's a few illnesses that magic doesn't quite work for but nothing really serious. Spelltropy was the only big one" The Fairy explained removing her hand from Artemis' cheek a slightly wistful smile on her face.
"Speaking of Spelltropy, how is Jayjay?"
"Brilliant actually. He's become the mascot of the Tech department, now every department wants one"
"Haven's finest" Artemis said dryly. The fairy laughed, a sound that the twins likened to ringing bells.
"I forget sometimes that you can be funny" She said
"Funny; not many people would call me that"
"Not many people know you well enough to know when you're being funny"
"But you do?"
"I do"
Artemis' chuckled slightly, their brother actually laughing was something Beckett and Myles had never seen before.
"Who knows me better than you Holly?" he asked a smile playing on his lips
"Butler"
"Perhaps but Butler and I don't quite see the world through eachothers eyes and we certainly aren't bonded by trauma"
"I don't know I imagine you were quite traumatic as a baby"
" I forget you can be funny sometimes too" Artemis said taking a seat on the stone bench. The fairy sat down next to him her feet dangling somewhat awkwardly off the ground. Something Beckett and Myles could sympathize with. They often found themselves the victims of furniture that just wasn't built for anyone smaller than five feet. You try looking debonair and serious when your feet didn't touch the ground!
"It's nice you know, to see you out of uniform. Sometimes I think you must live in that suit" Artemis announced casually.
"I practically do. Sometimes I feel I should just throw out everything but my pajamas"
"Well you'd certainly free up a lot of space if you did your apartment might even get ten percent larger"
"I don't have that many clothes"
"No but you do have an insanely small apartment."
Beckett and Myles couldn't believe this. Their brother was sitting next to a fairy. A real living fairy with a vintage leaf coat and everything and they were talking of all things about clothing and space! What was wrong with Artemis? This was not how one went about things with Fairies. The Twins certainly weren't experts but they did know this. If you found a fairy, or really any mythical creature that you previously doubted the existence of, you told them to take you to their gold and refused to eat anything they offer you because you just might find yourself in fairy world and would be stuck there for at least a hundred years. Obviously Artemis was far too old to understand how these things worked. Beckett and Myles decided the only kind thing to do was give him some pointers. They were not passing this opportunity up but they couldn't reveal themselves. That could scare the Fairy off thinking she'd been tricked. If their bedtime stories were correct Fairy's hated being tricked.
"Pssst" Beckett said cupping his hands around his mouth in an effort to throw his whisper like people did on T.V.
"Artemis" Myles whispered.
Artemis Fowl was enjoying himself. Strangely so. The conversation wasn't deep or meaningful, it wasn't even important! But he was enjoying it, enjoying Holly's company. Was this what 'hanging out' was like? Of course Artemis' enjoyment was cut short as his name followed by a sharp 'Pssst' sounded from the underbrush.
"What was that?" Holly asked in Gnommish
"Excuse me Holly I believe the hedge is trying to attract my attention" Artemis said in the same language. He stood and made his way to the perfectly manicured bush and knelt down gingerly not wishing to get grass stains and dirt on his trousers. He delicately parted the leaves and peered into the vegetation.
Two sets of large blue eyes peered back.
"Tell her to take you to her gold" Myles announced.
"No tell her to sprinkle you with pixie dust then you'll be able to fly" Beckett put in. "If you think happy thoughts" He added quickly
"Yes do that one first then you'll be able to fly to her gold" Myles nodded. Ever a fan of convenience.
"Might I inquire, before I go about getting coated with pixie dust, just what you two are doing under a hedge?" Artemis asked.
"We're spies" Beckett said seriously
"I'm aware of that but why are you spying on me?"
"We're not! We were playing spies...don't change the subject" Myles said.
"Sorry...so Pixie Dust?"
"Yes tell her to sprinkle you with it so you can fly to her gold"
"But don't take your eyes off her even for a second cause then she'll fly away"
"Yeah don't do that because then you'll never find her gold"
It was at that moment that Myles and Beckett realized where their brother was. Kneeling in front of a bush, talking to them. While the Fairy was sitting on the stone bench.
Entirely unattended.
The boys burst out from under the hedge like miniature bats out of hell screaming at the top of their lungs.
"Take us to your gold! Take us to your gold!"
Holly nearly jumped out of her skin and was all but bowled clean over as the twins in their eagerness not to loose out on this chance at treasure tackled and grabbed as much as their tiny little fists could hold of Holly.
"Fowl" Holly growled.
"Boys meet Holly Short she's an Elf and a Leprechaun but that's just her job. She also doesn't like being smothered so if you would kindly relinquish your grips. Holly meet my brothers Beckett and Myles. Beckett is the one in green Myles is the one in blue. Now that we're all acquainted."
Holly's eyes glared murder.
"How can you tell which of us is which we swapped jumpers twice!" Beckett announced still not entirely convinced he should let go of his fistful of Holly's coat. Artemis sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Beckett, swapping jumpers twice doesn't work because you are merely getting your original jumper back"
"Oh" Beckett nodded before glaring at Myles.
"You said it'd be foolproof!"
"Hey doesn't anyone care that this coat is dry clean only and you're rumpling it!" Holly announced
"Sorry" Beckett said letting go. Now it was Myles' turn to glare.
"Simple-toon. She only said that so you'd let go and she could disappear!"
"She has a name" Holly grumbled.
"Myles Holly isn't going to disappear and she isn't going to take you to any gold. She's and elf..."
"You said she was a leprechaun!"
"I'm a recon officer from the Lower Elements Police. LEPrecon, leprechaun."
"I get it!" Beckett announced proudly.
"No gold?" Myles asked letting go of Holly.
"Not that your brother didn't get to first" she muttered.
"But I thought fairies had to give you gold if you caught them" Myles frowned. Holly turned her eyes skyward.
"Frond is this entire family obsessed with catching fairies for ransom!"
Time to nip this in the bud. Holly reached into a pocket and pulled out a small purse.
"Look all I've got on me is a few coins will that do for gold, not exactly a pot but that's how it goes" She withdrew the small handful of coins she had been hoping to put towards a snack on the way home and showed them to the Fowl twins whose eyes immediately lit up. They reached out little hands to claim their prize but Holly held hers back.
"Ah ah if you take this that's is it okay. Then you have officially been given gold by a fairy for 'catching' her and it's a one time deal. Got it? And you can never tell anyone."
Beckett and Myles nodded their eyes never once leaving Holly's clenched hand.
"Good boys. Here you go then" She dropped and equal pile of small golden disks each stamped with the face of King Frond into the twins waiting palms.
"You know you really shouldn't go around giving money away. You're hardly at the head of the financial game" Artemis said. While Beckett and Myles laughed ecstatically and inspected their prize.
"I'm not exactly destitute!" Holly snapped before
"And how is it any of your concern?"
"Believe it or not dear Captain I do care for the comfort and well being of my friends. Besides I need to keep and eye on my pension."
"Please Fowl you'll be dead before I'm even middle aged let alone close to retirement"
"Besides couldn't you have simply mindwiped my brothers rather than giving in to their demands" Artemis asked. As the pair started out across the lawn leaving the twins to throw their gold coins up in the air and pretend it was raining them.
"You know a much more powerful magician than me once completed a far more effective mindwipe than I could ever preform on a little boy. It all went very well until his repressed memories started leaking through and he became absolutely convinced that fairies were real and that he should kidnap one for the ransom"
"He sounds positively awful, I wonder whatever became of him"
"He grew up and had two little brother's who also thought catching fairies for gold was a good idea. Only this time instead of mindwiping them and leaving the idea to fester in their little minds a very smart and brave fairy decided to simply give them the gold and get it over with before they decided to outright kidnap her too"
"But I assume this original nasty little boy had his comeuppance"
"No I don't think he ever did"
"Now what kind of ending is that Captain Short? Nasty little boys should always get their comeuppance."
"Well if you'd like I could arrange for some"
"That would be most kind of you"
Artemis offered his arm to the tiny woman and she slipped her hand through it as they continued on through the bottom of the garden.
STORY NOTES
Trendsetting: I have a problem when it comes to fashion. I hate it. Now don't get me wrong I love dressing up and wearing pretty clothes what I hate is the way that whatever is in fashion always seems to be the complete opposite of what I like. As such it takes me for Absolute ever to find shops that have clothes that aren't all riding the latest trend. I should just give up shouldn't I?
Fairy food: A common trend in folklore containing fairies is for men or even women to be lured or even just stumble into the fairy world and accept the hospitality of the fairies by staying the night and having a bite to eat, no need to be a bad guest only to return to the real world in the morning to find centuries have passed in their absence.
Comeuppance: Do you think the Atlantis Complex counts?
Anyway that's all for now I hoped you enjoyed this please tell me what you thought I love to hear from my readers. I accept critisim just please be constructive and polite. I apologuise for my poor spelling and punctuation.
Ari Out!