Epic Pokemon rap battles!
Chapter 1
The introduction
Hey there everyone its your host or you can call me Zaber if you want, but let me explain what's going. Here in Epic Pokemon rap battle it's a tournament to see which Pokemon can dish out the best rhymes. Each tourney is a 16 Pokemon tournament and will be halved each round up until there are only 2 left which will end in a epic event. The Pokemon who will be taking part in this coming tourney will be decided by both you and me so don't forget to tell me what match up you want to see. But also remember they has to actually have something to be competitive with, not all of them has to be but most of them should. But we won't just be here seeing them rap we'll also be seeing them and more living together in one house. So without further a do lets introduce some of the contestants and other Pokemon who we'll see alot in the house here first up...
"My name, ha how can you not know it since i'm going to win this, I'm the ultimate Pokemon, I am the master of martial arts, and the Master of the Aura...Lucario!" Lucario shouted
Zaber dropped a sweat "You know a simple "my name is Lucario" would done just fine but whatever next."
"Hey there little fellas I'm mew I hope you boys and girls want me in this tourney." Mew said "I also hope that-"
"Come on Mewy lets go." Lucario interrupted pulling her away
"Wait! But L-lucario what if my son sees!" Mew protested but was unwilling drag away
"Wait a minute what does that mean." Zaber the host said (Watch the movie)
Mewtwo came into the interview room.
"Hey Zaber is my mother still here or did see she leave already" he asked
"Oh yea, I just saw her leave with-" Zaber started but was interrupt when something jolted in his mind saying "Don't you dare say a F***ing word to him!" Rin was confused about what was talking to him since he was already thinking about banging Iris who's waiting for him (Spoiler of a future story i will be doing). He kept wondering until he heard the voice again "It's me Lucario you dumbass, I'm using Rats Telepathy ability to talk to you through your mind." Lucario told him "Anyways don't say anything to him or else you're dead." Lucario threaten
After a moment of balancing the chances of him beating Lucario he decided not to tell Mewtwo mostly because he wanted to get back home to bang Iris so he wanted this introducing part done with soon.
"Yea your mother left some time ago but anyway while you are here introduce yourself" Zaber said to him
"Oh um...OK greetings mortals I'm Mewtwo and I hate each and every last one of you because you're a human." Mewtwo said to "Wait a minute! Who the hell are we even talking there's no cameras here!" Mewtwo yelled at Zaber
"Oh you see I'm not sure how this is happening but some how our actions are being recording by some mystical person who can also record what we're thinking and other things." Zaber explained
"Wow, that's pretty creepy." Mewtwo responded
"Yea I know but I'm cursed to deal with it so I decided to share some the attention to you guys." Zaber told him "But besides that, you don't hate me right?"
"Naw you're decent for human I guess anyways I gotta go find my mother see ya." Mewtwo replied before leaving
Zaber then continued "OK then, next up the Pokemon who's suicidal 24/7. put your hands off of your c*** or p**** or both and put them together to greet Spoink the Pokemon that has to bounce the rest of it's life to live or else it'll die."
"I want to die." Spoink said in a very depressed voice
"Come on Spoink can you stop thinking only about yourself on how you want to kill yourself but you can't since you can't get yourself to stop bouncing so now you bounce endlessly all day long so you can never sleep or eat normally or even mate. Searously can you at least say your name." Zaber said to the Spoink
Spoink sighed in depression before saying "My name is Spoink and I want to die. Can one of you please kill me."
"Good job now get the f*** out of here!" Zaber said kicking the Spoink out before it can say another word
"Now it's time for the one the only true GOD to arrive." he continued
"Welcome mere mortals as you about has the gift of being in the same room as me." said a voice that come out of no where.
"Bow down to your God!" The voice continued as out from the shadow came...Pachirisu
"Hey you're not God I'm God!" Arcues said appearing out of no where
"No I'm God!" Pachirisu protested
"Haha, just because you won someone the World Champion Ship doesn't mean that you're God." Arceus told her
"Well I don't see anyone winning the World Champion Ship with Arceus." Pachirisu remarked
"Actually I think it happened once when I was actually avaible in a game. but anyways if you're so great how come in Smogon you're in PU the Lowest tier there is while I'm in Ubers the highest tier there is." Arcues countered
Pachirisu suddenly remembered that she was in the lowest tier compared to Arcues "Uhhhh, well maybe so but what about VGC!"
"Fuck VGC they don't even know the meaning restriction." Arcues said
"Yea, Good point." agreed Pachirisu "Whatever I'm still better then you!"
Arcues laugh some before saying "You're so cute when you try to act tough."
"S-shut up" Pachirisu blushed
"Come on don't be like that." Arcues said to her as he nuzzled her cheek.
This went on for a while until Zaber said "Can't you guys take that somewhere else i'm kinda doing something-"
Arcues quickly interrupted yelling "MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS OR ELSE I'LL HYPER BEAM YOU INTO HELL!"
Zaber stayed quiet for a moment before continuing again "Moving on for the next two is a rivalry that is well known please welcome Zangoose and Serviper."
As the two entered glaring at each other Zangoose tried to speak "Hello i'm-" but was interrupted by Serviper "Shut the f*** up no one wanna hear you talk." Zangoose got pissed off and replied "You wanna fight no legs!" Serviper replied "Bring it!" Then the two started scrapping.
Zaber just stared then continued on with the introduction "OK, for the next two are the baby form of the two Pokemon with the highest defense please welcome Aron and Rhydon everybody."
As Rhydon and Aron entered the room they introduced themselves.
"Hey there, guys I'm Aron that sweet adorable Pokemon that everyone likes but don't take me lightly I can take any psyichal hit you throw at me." Aron said
"And I'm Rhydon that tough SOAB from gen 1, I actually look strong instead of that puny Aron over there." Rhydon said
"Hey I'm not puny." Aron protested
"OK and what are you going to do about it Sand-Attack me hahaha!" Rhydon taunted
"Yes, Take this!" Aron shouted as he threw some sand that came out of no where.
Without even moving the Sand-Attack over Rhydon's shoulder completely missing him. It continued over the battle between Zangoose and Serviper, over Zaber's head, and into the eyes of Arcues who was still nuzzling with Pachirisu.
When the sand got into his eyes he trashed around in pain.
"Aw God, it's in my eyes aw Fuck I can't see shit!"Arcues Screamed
"Ah Arcues are you ok?" A regretful Aron asked
"AGH! you y-you Fucking Dick head, oh my eyes it burns so bad I may be God but I'm a a Pokemon you dumbFuck, Ooh!" Arcues continued to yell
"Um Arcy Calm down remember to watch that temper." A scared Pachirisu told him
"Yea, calm down Arcues we don't want one of your outrages again" Zaber said making his way slowly to the door
"Yea I-i-i'm v-ver sorry Arcues." Aron said
Trying to save his life Rhyhorn added "Y-y-yea remember your god right! What about forgiveness and all that!"
"FUCK THAT HYPER BEAM!" Arcues Shouted as he fired multiple Hyper Beam in every direction.
They all tried to dodge but it didn't work in the best of ways. One of the HYPER BEAM went over Aron's head and hit the Rhyhorn making him crash threw the wall, another one landed in between the fight of Zangoose and Serviper's fight separating them then each one of them got a HYPER BEAM to the face.
Lucario soon enter the room again with Mew "Hey Zaber I forgot my sash of Stardust here mind if I ge- What the hell is go-" But he didn't get to finish his sentence as a HYBER BEAM blasted him away.
Mew was shock and shouted "You bastard how can you do that to him, he even resist tha- AH!" but was stopped when she was hit by a HYBER BEAM.
Just then Mewtwo came and saw what happened to his mother.
"You bastard you'll pay for that. Take this Psy-" but was immediately knock out by another HYBER BEAM!
As a HYBER BEAM was coming towards Zaber he quickly grab Aron put him in front of himself saying "Aron shield!"
"Wait don't use me as a shield you doche!" Aron shouted at Zaber
"Come on Aron take one for the team." Zaber said
"But I don't want to die!" Aron shouted
"Don't worry, you got Sturdy so you should be able to survive at least one hit." Zaber said trying to justify his actions
Aron got really pissed "You are a freaking jackas-" he shouted as a HYBER BEAM cut him off. But luckily because of his sturdy he survived but with major damage.
"See I called," Zaber said unharmed
"Hey Zaber when am I going to be introduced" Dragonite asked at the door way
Espeon was standing there too "Yea what about me, wasn't I like your favorite psychic type or something."
Just when they say what was going on a HYBER BEAM blew them away.
Pachirisu was doing her best to keep him calm "Arcy remember, wasn't it written in like the book of Wabbafet that we shal-"
"It isn't written in the fucking shut the fuck up because your a asshole, aw no I created you guys but I can sure as hell destroy you guys!" He shouted firing more HYBER BEAMS!
"Wait how come he doesn't need to recharge?" Aron questioned
"It's because he's god." Zaber said, but once he reliazed that Arcues wasn't paying much attention to him he made a break for the door.
He was so close to the door. Right when he reached it a HYBER BEAM came at him. When it was close Zaber thought it was all over! But Right at that Spoink that suicidal Pokemon jumped in the way. As it came to him he said "Yes!"
But some how the HYBER BEAM curved around him and hit Zaber!
"Oh come on!" The Spoink shouted since every last HYBER BEAM missed only him even when he jumped into the way of it.
When Zaber was hit he busted through two wall and slid on the ground.
With the last of his strength he said "Whelp do to some un excepted events I have to end this here. Be sure to leave a message for me for which Pokemon you want to see rap battle and stay tune for other house episode." Then fainted.
(END)
(Remember tell me what Pokemon you wanna see battle it out. Also for those of you who follow my other stories, don't worry about it, I was out of the game for a while but this is my come back. I'll update those stories again.)
