Title: Three times Dean met the Doctor and one time the Doctor met Dean

Fandoms: Supernatural, Doctor Who

Characters: Dean, the Doctor

Genre: Comedy

Notes: this is my first crossover ever (and I'm quite proud of it!). (I based on the tumblr headcanon that the Twelfth Doctor curses a lot)

The first time Dean met the Doctor, he didn't know what to expect. He heard about a strange man going around with a police box, but he thought everybody was insane. Who goes around with a blue box? He was described as an attractive forty-year-old man with big ears. And when he finally met him he knew that was him for sure.

The ears were really big. But that was not the thing that attracted his attention.

They stood there looking at each other for some interminable moments. The Doctor looked at him with interest, trying to guess his thoughts. Dean only had eyes for the leather jacket the strange men wore.

The Doctor guessed his thoughts. "Nice jacket," he said, showing a sardonic smile, watching at Dean's leather jacket.

Dean curled his lips. He liked that man.

The second time Dean called the Doctor for a reason that could seem useless, but that meant everything to him. He caught his attention with a crop circle. No, not any crop circle. He stole a lawnmower and dabbled in the difficult task of writing the word «Doctor» wisely cutting wheat in a field. The thing ended up in the newspaper and came to the attention of the person concerned, who rushed on Earth with the intention of spanking the hunter.

"You are out of your mind!" he exclaimed as soon as he stood in front of Dean. "Could you find a less evident way to call me?"

Dean didn't know what to say, spellbound staring at the man, who was not as he remembered. Not at all.

"So what?" the man invited him. "What's so urgent?"

Dean still didn't open his mouth. What the hell... He would have kicked that man for trying to cheat him, if it wasn't for the unmistakable blue box from which he had just come out , making it clear to him that he had to be the Doctor. Although his face was completely different. And his hair was fabulous...

The Doctor looked at him from behind his squared glasses . "So, where is the ship that crashed, or the alien attack, or the army of Daleks, or anything else for which you forced me to run here," he cried, placing back his rebel tuft, that returned to fall over his eyes.

Dean was enchanted. But then he shook himself and went back to the reason why he had called. "Where's my jacket?" he exclaimed.

"What?" The Doctor was confused.

"My jacket," Dean repeated. "You're the one that seized it by saying that you needed it as a bargaining chip with a certain Captain Jack... you've said that in the end you'd still managed to give it back to me."

"Ah... yeah." The Doctor grimaced, scratching his head. "Well, it didn't go as planned. He kept it and the time that he clung to the TARDIS, he lost it in the middle of the Time Vortex."

Dean stared at him with wide eyes, not understanding a single word. "What?"

"Long story short, we lost it ."

"What do you mean lost?" Now Dean 's eyes were bulging.

"Lost. Burned. Dissolved. Reduced into a thousand pieces. I have no idea where it is."

Dean became red. "That was my father's. The only thing I had left of him."

"Yeah... I'm sorry," said the Doctor.

Dean rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, then pounced on the Timelord.

The third time Dean met the Doctor accidentally. He and Sam were hunting a creature they had never heard of and Dean had a veiled suspicion that it was not of this planet. His doubt was confirmed when he saw the famous blue box .

"Believe me, Sammy, he is the man we need," Dean assured , scanning the proximity of the TARDIS expecting the owner to jump out at any moment. "But it is better that I deal with him."

Dean wouldn't even recognized him if the Doctor, as soon as he saw him, hadn't opened wide his eyes and, with all the possible ease, he hadn't turned back trying to escape. Dean ran after him and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him back.

"I assure you that I have no idea where your jacket is, Dean," he complained trying to keep up, " and I swear I looked in all the corners of the universe."

When Dean stopped, staring down at the Doctor. "I already resigned myself. What the hell is this obsession of yours with changing your appearance?"

"It's not an obsession, it is a necessity. I'd be dead, otherwise," he said, adjusting his collar. "My cell change one by one, changing my appearance... but you don't need to know. It's a Timelord thing."

The hunter looked at him from top to bottom, staring at his clothes. The man seemed to just come out of the hat of a magician performed two-penny a trick. Was he wearing a purple coat? Dean had often complained about the lack of taste in clothing - or rather in the trench - of Cas, but the man beat him with a wide lead. And what was that thing around his neck ? " A bowtie , really?" he exclaimed with a grin.

The Doctor straightened his back, glaring at him. " Bowties are cool," he said, adjusting it . Then he saw Sam . His eyes lit up, took his hand and shook it vigorously. "I'm the Doctor, nice to see you again, Sam. Rather, to meet you. Or whatever. Guess you haven't met me yet… yes, I know, wibbly wobbly, timey wimey. Would be too difficult to explain. Anyway... " he cried, leaving Sam and clapping his hands, elated. "Don't worry , I fixed everything. It was only a Slitheen , I offered him a ride to get him out of here." He pointed at a green creature with two huge eyes not far from there, trying to get rid of a pair of handcuffs on the hands, but he didn't really seem bothered by the situation. " If you want you can come with me, I can show you a little things," said the Doctor .

"No, thank you," Dean said. "We have other things to do, like trying to stop the Apocalypse ."

"Oh, okay, maybe next time!" replied the Doctor, dragging the alien into the blue box and squashing him inside. "Au revoir," he cried before entering and closing the door. The TARDIS made a terrible noise and began to dissolve, and then disappeared.

Sam looked at the spot where the Doctor was gone with eyes wide open. He didn't know which of the dozens of things that surprised him he wanted to reveal, if the creature, the blue box that disappeared, or the fact that both the green alien that the Doctor managed to get into a tight space. "W-what the hell was that? " he finally said, without specifying what he meant.

Dean didn't need the brother to say anything else to understand his confusion."I've stopped wondering a long time ago."

That time it was the Doctor that met Dean Winchester. Rather, he made him materialize in the TARDIS. When Dean opened his eyes and found himself staring at a man with tousled gray hair and bushy eyebrows staring at him from above, he believed that it was a dream. In fact, he hoped. That man, for some reason, was terrifying.

"Yes! I've done it," cried the man , turning on himself. "I thought that fucking teleportation was hopeless - I haven't used it in ... pfff ! At least a fucking thousand years! - but I managed to fix it ."

Dean got up from the ground, confused, dusting his clothes. He observed the space around him, confused. Where the hell was he? He watched the man head towards the center of the room, where there was a sort of control panel that encircled a column that rose to the ceiling, several feet above his head. The man began to touch some levers and buttons as if he was a five-year-old child.

"Could you tell me where the hell am I? And who the hell are you?!" Dean said.

The man stopped, while a noise that Dean had already heard came from the column in the middle of the room. A piston throbbed inside the glass. It looked like a beating heart. "Oh, yeah, you're fucking right," the guy said, looking at his clothes as if he didn't know how they had come to him. "I regenerated recently, I haven't get used to it. I'm the Doctor," he said, then walked over to Dean, stopping a few inches from his face and looking at him sideways. Those eyebrows frightened him. "What year have I caught you? " .

Dean was forced to retreat. How was it that no one seemed to care about his personal space? "What?" he asked, confused.

" What year are you from?" the Doctor repeated, as if he was speaking to a child.

" Two thousand and sixteen," Dean said, still not understanding.

"Oh, shit! " he exclaimed. "I missed you for a couple of years. I'm sorry." He went back to the control panel, pressing other buttons and moving other levers. " So, here it go! " he said, then came an inch from Dean's face. " Let's do this."

"What?"

"What what?"

In addition to having changed appearance, he must have swapped the brain with a monkey, Dean thought. "What should we do?" he asked impatiently.

"I thought you had already figured out. Croatoan. We need to eliminate the virus. Damn, I have no idea how the hell it ended up on Earth..." .

Dean put together his thoughts. " Do you think the Croatoan virus is alien... ?" Those words sounded absurd even to his own ears. He had never believed in aliens, not before meeting the Doctor, at least. His faith had wavered when he was kidnapped in the middle of a cornfield several years ago, but when he discovered that they were fairies, he went back on his feet, declining any idea that had to do with little green men.

"I'm almost certain," said the Doctor. "There has never been anything like that on Earth, it is unlikely it formed there. It ended up there in some way. Or someone brought it." He looked around as if he was thinking aloud, then seemed to wake up from his thoughts. " What year do we land? Two thousand and fourteen should be fine." Saying so, he returned once again to the control panels, pressing levers and buttons.

"Can you tell me what the hell are you doing?" Dean asked.

"I'm landing the TARDIS," the Doctor said, breathless .

"This is the TARDIS?" It was impossible. They were inside the small police box!?

"Bigger on the inside," answered the other, while Dean looked around in wonder. "Yes, I know, it fucking sucks, I should redecorate, again." He grimaced, before exclaiming : "But, hey, if you don't like the color of the walls, you should see my fucking kidneys!"