Abbott turned the lamp on his desk off and leaned back in his chair. It was close to midnight and the FBI bullpen was deserted. Or almost deserted.
He hadn't bothered to close the blinds on his office door and could therefore clearly see the single source of light left in the building. It was the small lamp beside Jane's couch and in it's dim light that very consultant was reading a book. Or pretending to read. In the minutes Abbott already looked at him, he hadn't turned a single page.
They'd nearly lost him that day. Abbot closed his eyes for a second, remembering how close it had been. If they'd arrived only one minute later Jane wouldn't be with them any longer. He couldn't prevent a shiver run trough his body.
He suspected this was one of the reasons why he was still at work and not at home with his wife. Somehow he just needed time alone, time to think. He went through every small detail, step by step but he always came to the same conclusion. There was nothing they could have done to see this coming or to prevent it from happening. It had been no ones fault and if the worst really would have happened that day, if he'd lost one of his people…there would have been no one to blame. Least of all Jane. For once his consultant had done everything right, played by the rules and nevertheless he'd almost paid the ultimate price.
That was probably the other reason, why Abbot still was sitting in the dark behind his desk. It was just not fair.
Jane had done nothing wrong, he'd probably gone through hell that day. Having had a gun pointed at him, expecting that it would end every second… and instead of being at home, happy to be alive, he now sat alone on his couch.
Abbott didn't want to remember, but he couldn't help it. He hadn't indented to eavesdrop, but it just had been impossible NOT to hear them. He'd never heard Lisbon that angry, or no, that wasn't true. The day in the Blue Bird Inn had been worse.
What had surprised Abbott the most had been how calm Jane had been. He'd just listened to her as she accused him of having recklessly risked his life of still behaving as if he'd nothing to lose. Jane had let her go on for minutes and only after she finished he'd tried to reason with here. It hadn't helped him a lot.
Lisbon had left the building after that, shaking with anger.
Jane hadn't moved ever since. He'd only left his couch once to get a cup of tea, but other than that he hadn't shown any indications that he intended to follow her, or to go home.
Abbott knew it shouldn't bother him; but it did. Somehow it made him feel unwell, knowing that the two parted in anger…or at least on one side. Since he'd met Jane and Lisbon for the first time, he couldn't help himself; he just had to fix things between them. And now, after seeing them deliriously happy for weeks, it was simply unbearable to see Jane back on his couch again, lonely, at midnight.
Part of Abbott could understand Lisbon. The day had been a nightmare for her, not less than for Jane. She'd done anything to find him, almost driving him and the team crazy, desperately trying to find a clue, to find something that could lead them to Jane. And in the end she'd succeeded. They'd found him, saved him but instead of falling into Jane's arms (as he'd expected), she'd been distanced and angry, holding him responsible for what happened that day.
Abbott shook his head. It must be her way of dealing with everything that happened, but it clearly wasn't right.
He stood up with a sign; it was time that he went home instead of worrying over his employees. He made it to his office door and opened it, before the doors of the elevator at the end of the corridor slid open, making him freeze on the spot.
He recognised Lisbon instantly, she was brightly illuminated by the light inside the elevator. She didn't move and soon the doors behind her closed, leaving her in darkness.
Abbott didn't dare to move, afraid that she would see him. But Lisbon had only eyes for Jane and after a few more seconds, she walked over to the couch.
Abbott knew that he should say something, make himself visible…but he just couldn't; something kept him back.
"Hi!" Lisbon voice sounded strained, very different from the angry tone he'd last heard from her that day.
Jane had long put his book aside and looked at her. Abbott could see and hear them clearly, while himself being hidden in the dark.
"Hey", Jane answered, never taking his eyes off her.
"I was at your airstream but I couldn't find you so I came here." Lisbon spoke fast, one word almost falling over the next; she was nervous.
Jane shrugged, "I didn't feel like sleeping. Too many things on my mind."
He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I missed you."
Three simple words; they seemed like nothing, but the effect they had was immediate and significant.
Lisbon started to cry and more than ever Abbott wished to disappear. He shouldn't be here. But if he left now, they would see him and the idea of agent Lisbon knowing that he saw her cry, seemed even worse than to stay. Besides, he also was a tiny bit curious.
"I'm so sorry, Jane", Lisbon's sobbed.
"Teresa…". Jane tried to reach for her, but she stepped back and shook her head. "No, let me finish this. I'm so sorry. I should have been here…I should have been here for you."
She tried to compose herself and wiped at her tears.
"I was so scared, Jane. I couldn't stand it; I couldn't breathe... and then…when we found you. I don't know, I just got so angry." She didn't step back as he took her hand.
"It was so much easier to be angry, than to deal with the fact that I've almost lost you. I can handle anger, I know what anger feels like….it was just so easy to blame you instead of facing what almost happened. "
Jane stood up, still holding her hand.
"I…". Lisbon hardly managed to speak, "I can not lose you, Jane. "
He finally pulled her in his arms. "I know", he murmured, holding her trembling body as close as he could.
"I know, Teresa. You don't have to explain anything."
Abbot looked away. The way they were holding each other was so intimate, so private…he felt more than ever like an intruder. He couldn't, however, prevent a relieved smile. He'd known that they would resolve this.
For a while no one said a word and Abbot dared to look up again. Lisbon murmured something into Jane's neck, but Abbott couldn't understand her.
"I love you, too." Jane's reply was loud enough to reach his ears.
Lisbon lifted her head from Jane's shoulder and kissed him.
"I think this counts as our first argument. Isn't that supposed to be a big step in a relationship?", Jane asked afterwards, wiping a few renegade tears from her cheeks.
"I guess." Lisbon answered. "I've never been good at this relationship stuff." She played with the curls in his neck.
"I messed up pretty badly today, didn't I?"
Jane chuckled and kissed her on the nose. "Yeah…I guess you did. Luckily I'm equally bad at this kind of stuff, so we should be fine."
He leaned in for another, longer kiss and Abbott started worrying for a very different reason. However dear the relationship between the two was to him, there were certain things he definitely didn't want to see, or hear.
"We should go home", Lisbon suggested that moment and Abbot sighed with relief, as the two finally left the bullpen; hand in hand.