A/N: This is what happens when you let a total noob play AC. XD I also think this is what would happen if Desmond wasn't reliving the memory of his ancestor, but actually had to figure out what to do by himself (just like what the actual player has to do all the time). So it's a little AU-ish. It's so silly I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoy! :)

Yes, he was almost there... He could hardly believe the fact that he was actually going to make it this time. All he had to do was reach out, grab the item from the satchel and make sure that the man wouldn't notice him-

Suddenly, the target turned around, almost as though he had felt Desmond/Altaïr reaching for him. This took the latter aback and he was quick enough to retreat his hand, but not fast enough to act nonchalant and oblivious to the situation (which would have been so hilarious at any other moment).

"Stop following me, goddamnit!" the irritable man snarled, catching the attention of at least four passersby in the process.

The hooded man cursed inwardly, because this was not what he'd wanted at all. So far for his (probably pretty sad) attempt at shadowing. He might try being more sneaky next time, though that was much easier said than done. But how should he do this? He'd never stooped to theft before. Hell, he was a bartender for crying out loud! Sure, his past had taught him some other skills as well, but all of that still wasn't enough to be able to pull this off. It seemed like Lady Fortune wasn't quite on his side today...

Hmm... maybe it's in the way I'm handling things, Desmond thought, as he pulled his hood deeper over his eyes (this had become his new habit when he was thinking deeply).

It was then that the man decided to do exactly what thugs did in movies. If this didn't work, then nothing would. Besides, those moviemakers had to get their inspiration somewhere, right?

After taking a deep, steadying breath, the assassin took a run. However, in his enthusiasm, he bumped a little too hard against the already annoyed man, causing them both to fall over with a loud and painful "Oomph!"

When the pickpocket had recovered from the blow, he muttered a quick "Sorry," loud enough for the 'victim' to hear it.

In the mean time, Desmond was looking for the object that he was after... and he noticed to his great surprise that it was lying not too far away from him.

However, the man had noticed that his satchel had fallen off, too, and before Desmond could even say, "Boo," he'd snatched it back again.

"Watch where you're going, you idiot! This is the second time you're causing trouble. If I see you again, I won't hesitate to kill you," the target threatened.

"...Sorry," he repeated lamely.

Good thing he doesn't know what the Hell I'm doing. Then again, at this point, neither do I...

With that thought in mind, the younger male got up and dusted himself off. How in the world was he supposed to succeed now? Never mind, why was he always the one who had to do all the impossible tasks? What had he done to deserve this cruel fate? And it wasn't like he could give up, because if he did that, there would be no way he could return to his old life.

Guess I'll have to try a different approach, then, he thought, as he started moving quietly again.

And if all else failed, he could always kill the target and run off with what he needed. How far he would get, was another matter, though.

Just great.

A/N: In case you were wondering, I did figure out how to do it right... after fifty or so attempts. XD