AN: This is my first QAF fic and I cannot seem to grasp the characters at all. However this story got into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. It's a story that I will come back to if I can manage to understand the characters deeper and when I've seen more of the show. But if I didn't post it, it would just sit on my Computer in my One-Shot folder and get passed from computer to computer until the end of time. So here goes nothing.
He always knew if he was going to be straight, it would be with Lindsey.
Hell, even when he first realised the gentle pitta-patta in his stomach meant he cared for Justin, he briefly entertained the fact that this may just be because he reminded Brian of Lindsey. They were both blonde, determined, caring and were the only people who consistently looked at him like they believed he was a good person. Even Michael sometimes had distrust lurking beneath his eyes but the two blondes never had such a thing.
He should have realised the first time he slept with Justin that this boy, and he was still a boy at this point, would be different. When he was gentle and soothing, as opposed to rushed and passionate as per his usual custom. The talking and the fact he was there at the birth of Brian's son. When the blonde was still there upon awakening and when Brian had spotted him in the shower his body had moved towards the kid without a conscious thought.
So when the magazine was realised with Justin wrapped up in Connor James and Brian had felt something akin to jealously and betrayal, in his mind it made sense that the first person he called was Lindsey, as opposed to Michael, Deb or even Justin himself. She turned up, hair askew and Gus clutched in her arms; she had dropped everything and got the soonest flight from Toronto without even asking why. He could help but notice their son was growing at such an alarming rate, he'd soon be starting school. As she stepped through the door without knocking and put the child down, who ran to him yelling "Dada", Brian was struck with a weird sense of heterosexuality and realised the thought did not alarm him nearly as much as it should. He scooped Gus up and accepted the kiss Lindsey placed on his lips before sitting on the arm of her chair, like it was where she had always belonged.
"So what's wrong honey?" Her voice was deep and caring and made him feel safe. He clung to Gus with one arm while gesturing to the coffee table with the other. As Lindsey leant forwards and scooped the magazine, Brian unexpectedly found himself admiring her lean form. He was clearly lonelier then even he realised. She took one look at the cover and turned to him with soft eyes.
"You know he loves you Brian?" She took his hand gently and he rested his arm softly against her arm.
"I know he does. But he's so far away."
"You mean you're lonely." He considered the question but it was Lindsey and even if he lied he knew she'd be able to see straight through him. He nodded and she moved Gus gently to the floor before slipping next to him and wrapping her arms around him. Even for them, this position was more intimate than usual. He wrapped his arms around her waist and let her soft breathing sooth him, as it had done since they were just kids, feeling so alone in the world.
She sat with him, until the cuddling made the edges of stiffness and awkwardness crept in and he pulled away, removing himself to the floor where she quickly followed, pulling out Gus's toy box as she did so. Gus squealed and clapped as Brian pulled out the old train-set, a favourite of both child and father. He set it up with ease and Gus crawled onto his lap. He looked down at his son, the perfect mix of both him and Lindsey all wrapped up into one.
"Play with train Daddy." The sweet voice was followed by a tiny, trusting hand being laid on his own. He smiled fondly before he could stop it.
"Sure sonny boy. Why don't you have a go this time?" The young boy nodded eagerly as Brian taught him how to control the train, keeping a close eye as to prevent injury.
"Who would ever guess? Brian Kinney. Paternal." The laughing voice caused Brian to look up and glare at the amused woman.
"He's part me, of course me and the kid are going to get along." Lindsey rolled her eyes but before she could reply, her phone rang and she jumped up to answer it. Respecting her privacy, Brian turned his full attention back to his son and the train.
"Shall we assume that's your other Mummy checking up? Judging by the angry look on your Mum's face I was right. At least she knows where her lover is. Kid when you grow up don't let your lover, regardless of gender leave, it hurts more than the pain you've just put those train passengers through." Gus clapped and giggled as Brian leant forwards and put the train back on its wheels. "You know I think I give you all the best advice near this train track." Gus stopped and blinked up at him for a second, before nodding and going back to his train. Brian, trusting the youngster a bit more, ruffled his hair fondly before standing up and leaning against the kitchen counter. Eyes still fixed on his kid but arm reaching out to loop around Lindsey. "What did the demon do this time?" The woman sighed and leant into him.
"She just wanted to check where I was even though I told her multiple times."
"Trust issues still?" It was a matter Brian would previously have laughed at, but now he could understand fully since he'd seen Justin and Connor. She nodded.
"She's also going to come and get Gus for the night so she and Michael can take them out. She said we can have both of them tomorrow." Brian stiffened.
"Why does she want Gus? He's nothing to do with Michael."
"She doesn't want to take RJ out and not Gus." He nodded but was still suspicious of the whole thing.
"And she thinks you've gone off the deep end." Lindsey had rested her head against the side of his and he chuckled.
"Now that reasons much more accurate. I assume she wants you to give me a through checking before I'm blessed with the darlings."
"Of course." He nodded before moving quickly to move Gus's hand off the track. Melanie arrived and removed his son much too quickly. With a quick kiss she strode out and Lindsey sighed, falling back down beside him. "It's been so hard since we landed. I thought we were past the distrust and hate."
"Well she always has been a bitter little bi-"Lindsey cut him off. Not with words or her hand but by placing her mouth gently on his.
"Hush you. That's my wife you're talking about."
"Hmmmm. Some wife she is." He pulled her closer and she curled up against him, fitting almost as well as Justin did he noted absentmindedly. In a way he expected the kiss. Kissing was nothing unusual between them as it was not uncommon between most friends in their old, little group. Thought the only people Brian kissed these days, aside from Justin of course, were Michael and Lindsey. But there was something different in the desperate, pleading way Lindsey pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back, more instinctively than anything else. As his arms entwined with hers he entertained a brief thought for Justin. Was it considered a higher betrayal to sleep with a girl? As she pushed her body against his he stopped thinking about such things and his mind was filled with love, warmth, comfort.
As they lay basking in the afterglow Brian could only think one thing. Wet. Men were so much tidier. Lindsey was curled tight into his side but she had not moved for some time. He thought about Justin, out in New York, completely unaware of what was happening in Pittsburgh. It would probably shatter his world apart to know what he, Mr Hetrophobic, had just done. He glanced down at the woman beside him and noticed a similar look of confusion and horror on her face. He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair.
"Hush there."
"Hush? Brian I can't believe what we've just done."
"We've fucked. It's nothing unusual for me."
"But Justin." Brian winced before he managed to school his face once more into his faux-calm.
"But Justin nothing. We're allowed to fuck other people. He's not my wife."
"You're allowed to fuck other men." There was a silence that lingered in the air for a second before Lindsey pushed her face into his shoulder. "But Melanie's my wife."
"She doesn't have to find out." There were tears filling her eyes now as she looked up at him, filled with torn desperation.
"I can't keep this from her."
"It's your choice. I won't even tell Justin without your permission." The silence was heavy but Brian could read her decision in her eyes before she said a single word.
"You promise?"
"It'll be our little secret."