A Moment Long Desired
by Dipic
Started: 09/26/2014
Finished: 09/26/2014
Summary: Seeing those eyes again reminded him a time when he had been happy, looking forward to a new day. Their reunion meant something, and Imaizumi wasn't going to let it just pass by without getting a taste of that again.
Notes: Did I really write 10,000 words of PWP? Why? I'm sort of ashamed.
Rated M (E), Send the kiddies to sleep. Not nasty, but… not for children. (Copulation DOES happen) You are warned.
A Moment Long Desired
"A moment, when written in our hearts, can never be forgotten" -Yaradia
This was wrong.
He knew it, felt it in every fiber of his being.
And yet he remained there, staring at the wooden door, eyes unfocused. There was no excuse to be here. None. Years had passed since he had seen his friend. So, why, why was he here?
His hand trembled as he lifted it up to knock on the door, his knuckles sounding weak against the dark worn wood. The knock resounded through him, and he suddenly wanted to flee.
He heard shuffling, and stepped back as the door opened.
He met the man's eyes, which widened when they saw who was standing there.
They hadn't changed much in the years, still bright and sparkling with that drawing hope and joy that he was known for.
The rest of him, however, had changed tremendously.
Although, he was still shorter than Imaizumi, he had grown a couple of inches, his black wild hair longer, curling down his neck. He looked lean, and wiry, and instantly, Imaizumi could tell he was still cycling from the way stood. his round face had shaped out, his jaw stronger, balanced out by his rounded spectacles.
Imaizumi frowned because he was instantly attracted. And that was strange.
"Imaizumi!?" He exclaimed, hands waving slightly, "Imaizumi-kun!? I mean… Imaizumi-san! H-how are you? Ah, come in, please! Sorry, I'm just so surprised…!"
Imaizumi nodded, "Its alright, Onoda… -san." he added awkwardly, "I should have called before coming. That was rude of me."
Onoda shook his head, "No! No! We are friends, Imaizumi-san! Of course, you can visit me! Whenever! I'm just so excited! But, c-come in, please! I'll make s-some tea!"
His incessant chatter, and the slight stutter was clear indication of his nerves, which was expected since they hadn't seen each other in almost eight years. And the last time they could actually be called friends was back in their senior year of high school, almost ten years ago.
Imaizumi glanced at the bag in his hand, "I brought marrocons." He offered, still feeling extremely awkward.
Onoda beamed, "Oh! Thank you! That is very kind of you, Imaizumi-san."
Imaizumi blinked at the honorific, not the affectionate '-kun', that Onoda used to call him by. well, of course, they were adults now, and '-san' was appropriate for almost strangers.
He followed Onoda into the house, slipping out of his shoes. "I'll put some tea on for the snacks. I was going to make dinner soon, if you're hungry, I can whip something up." He walked into the living room and placed the bag with the pastries on the coffee table. Imaizumi was trying not to stare at the shape that Onoda's body had grown into, and coughed, "It's alright, I ate on the way here." Onoda smiled at him and Imaizumi glanced around the house, avoiding eye contact.
Like Onoda, it had also changed, more modern, and fresh. It was almost as if two different styles were competing, a lively bright colored fresh fashion and a cold metallic modern taste.
It was obvious which one was Onoda.
"Do you take milk and sugar, Imaizumi-san?"
"No." Imaizumi replied, still avoiding looking at him, but he could see in his peripheral vision that Onoda was smiling sunnily at him. "Okay! Please, make yourself at home, Imaizumi-san. I'll be right back." He padded down the hallway to the kitchen. Imaizumi walked absently in the living room, scanning the pictures on the walls and shelves.
"I heard that you are racing professionally! That's exciting!" Onoda called from the kitchen.
Imaizumi called back, "Yes. Did Naruko tell you?"
Onoda appeared around the corner, smiling sheepishly, "Yes. We are still in contact. He likes to visit but Osaka is quite the distance from here. He calls though! A lot." He smiled, "We missed you, Imaizumi-san. He'll be excited to know that you visited."
Onoda was too polite to ask the obvious question of why. Why exactly was he there. It was a question that not even Imaizumi could truly answer. Could he say he was lonely and depressed. That he had lost terribly in his last race, because he had no drive? Because the last time he had real passion, real want was with Onoda and Naruko in the last interhigh?
Because he thought that seeing Onoda again, with his infectious smile and over enthusiastic character would shake something loose within him?
Imaizumi looked around, "We don't talk much. Sorry about that. That I've been distant these years."
Onoda shook his head, "No! Don't worry about it! You are living your dream! That's exciting! I'm still cycling too! Not professionally, of course. But for exercise. Every morning I bike to work. Its about an hour and a half away, so its good exercise."
Imaizumi nodded, agreeing that Onoda's physique showed very much that he was in top shape.
"You work in Tokyo?"
Onoda nodded and came to sit in a couch, opening the bag of treats. "Yes, I'm an editor for a young children's manga. I love it! I always wanted to be in an anime club, but never got the chance to. But now I even get paid to talk about anime! I even know a couple of manga artists! I'm very fortunate to have this job."
He looked happy, but there was something… off about him. Imaizumi had sensed it the moment he laid eyes on him. And it wasn't that Imaizumi was finding Onoda distractingly attractive. It was more, something… sad.
There was a screech from the kitchen and Onoda jumped up. "Water's ready! I'll bring back tea!"
Imaizumi watched him go, and then turned his attention back to pictures lining the wall. It was Onoda throughout his years, and Imaizumi noticed that his smile was the same in every single one. Imaizumi felt fondness fill him. Of course, no matter how old Onoda got, his talent for changing people with his spirit would never fade. His eyes caught the gleaming edge of a frame face down on the shelf, and he wondered why.
"I take a lot of sugar and milk," Onoda announced as he carried a tray laden with a teapot and teacups, interrupting Imaizumi's thoughts. "Its usually too bitter for me."
Imaizumi sat in a love seat across from Onoda, as he arranged the cookies that Imaizumi had brought, and prepared the tea.
Imaizumi watched his fingers, thin and clean, moving, stirring, touching. It was making him feel hot and bothered and he wanted to slap himself. This was getting ridiculous.
"So, how have you been, Imaizumi-san?" Onoda asked as he slid a small decorative plate of macarons to Imaizumi and gently placed a saucer and tea cup in front of him.
Imaizumi shrugged. "Fine. Busy, I suppose. I work for my father's company when I'm not cycling, but I don't really like business." He confessed, surprised with his openness.
Onoda nodded, as if understanding. "Yes, its not good when we don't like our job. But you get to live your dream! And working with your father... that must be challenging. You like challenges though, right?"
Imaizumi frowned at the observation. Yes, yes he did. Working in the business was hard, was challenging, and in that aspect it was a good job for him. And he was fortunate to have employment and road racing because even champions road racers didn't earn tons of money.
"Yeah, you're right. I do."
Onoda beamed, happily sipping at his tea. Imaizumi watched him swallow, feeling a burning race through his body.
Goddamnit. what was wrong with him? He mentally tracked back to when he had last relieved himself and almost groaned when he counted back to almost a week.
Onoda licked a cookie, and Imaizumi almost swore, shifting uncomfortably. "Thats good! So, uh, are you… dating someone? or married? Sorry if you're uncomfortable with the question! You don't have to answer! If you don't want to!"
Imaizumi shook his head "No. I don't have anyone. Not really interested, to tell you the truth."
Onoda just blinked at him, biting into a cookie and drinking some more tea. There was a problem here. Imaizumi was too attracted. Why is that?
"Sorry for barging in like this." Imaizumi said and sipped the tea. It cooled him somehow, it's bitter taste numbing his senses. "No! I really glad you came! Its good for me I guess." He laughed, and Imazumi suddenly understood what was wrong. It was Onoda. He was sad. "That sounds really selfish of me."
Imaizumi frowned harder, "What does that mean?"
Onoda paused, fixing his glasses before he continued.
"Well, I sort of been kinda lonely lately, so you visiting is actually really good for me."
"Oh." Was Imaizumi's lame reply. He would think that Onoda would have plenty of friends. Once someone got to know him, one couldn't help but want to enjoy his sweet company.
Onoda must've seen his confusion, "Oh, don't worry, Its not like I don't have friends. I do! Great ones! And they are all helping me through… uh, this part of my life. Time heals everything, after all." Onoda chuckled, but it was cold and dead, sounding hollow from his lips. Imaizumi was curious, despite of himself, "This part of your life? Are you alright?"
Onoda smiled reassuringly. "Of course! Its just… ah… just a break up. People go through them all the time, so its not that big of a deal! Its just… ah… well… I just broke up with my boyfriend." He was trying very hard to sound happy and strong, but his voice cracked and his eyes were suddenly moist. "Ah! We need more tea! I'll go get some."
He stood up abruptly and stumbled slightly over to the hallway. Imaizumi frowned, suddenly worried, and got up and followed him. A break up was harsh on the heart, and no doubt rougher on Onoda because he was the type that when he dedicated himself to someone, he invested his whole heart.
Imaizumi peeked into the kitchen, clean and bright in the afternoon sun. Onoda was leaning over the counter, hand over his eyes. He seemed in pain, "Onoda?"
He started, and he pulled his hand off his eyes. It was only a second, but Imaizumi saw raw pain and desperate agony in them.
"Sorry! The tea! Of course! Sorry! It'll be just a second."
Imaizumi wanted to comfort him, but he had no idea how to do such a thing.
"How… how long ago?"
Onoda set the kettle over the low fire, and turned to face him, eyes distant. "Ah, my break up? Almost a month and a half. I should be over it by now, but… well, I'm ah… I'm getting there." He tried to smile, but his face refused, only looking sad and sorry, "I'm sorry, Imaizumi-san! I don't want to ruin your visit by talking about-"
"Do you need to talk about it?" Imaizumi asked, remembering that he had sort of comforted his sister through a heavy break up with her high school sweetheart. Imaizumi hadn't known what to say to her, and only listened stoically to her cries, but that, she had said, was enough to help her through it. Perhaps, he could do the same for Onoda.
"What? Oh no! I couldn't, Imaizumi-san! I don't want to sound all depressed and such to you!" He smiled, something like grateful fondness filling his face, "But that is so kind of you, Imaizumi-san. I really appreciate you wanting to help."
Imaizumi cocked his head. "Are you sure? " he asked quietly because there were tears falling rapidly down Onoda's face, and he didn't seem to notice.
Onoda smile tightened, "yes! Of cou-" He started, but saw Imaizumi concerned gaze and then felt the water on his cheeks.
Onoda touched his face hesitantly, and looked at his wet fingertips, a shuddering breath coming out of him. He leaned again, heavier this time on the counter, slumping over, "Its just… just you know, Five years… I spent with him. Five years and for one of those he was with someone else the whole time. I mean why would he keep me if there was someone else? It doesn't make sense why he had to hurt me like this? He could have just left, you know... When he fell in love with someone else. But he stayed with me for another year… Until I found out about it. I don't know whether to be angry at him or myself, for being so stupid." He covered his face, "I really loved him, I thought we could… I don't know, be a family. It was… it was stupid."
Imaizumi paused, feeling a mixture of anger and hate, but also sadness and helplessness. He had always been protective of Onoda, his innate naivety and innocence making him an easy target. He wondered what Naruko would do if he knew. "I'm sorry, Onoda." he said and felt that the statement was grossly underwhelming in these circumstances.
Onoda shook himself, and turned to face him. "It was a good lesson for me to learn. I trust… too easily. And I give too much of myself. Its life I suppose. We just had to walk our own paths, right? You told me that once." He laughed, an empty chuckle.
Imaizumi watched him carefully, as he wiped his face and tried to control his breathing, "I wish I could help." he said haltingly.
Onoda turned away from him, tears sliding down his cheeks again, even if he was trying to control them. "Its alright." he smiled, a true smile, despite the evident pain in his eyes, in his tears, "He's happy, and...and I'm happy for him... I guess that's what's important... I hope he gets everything he wants and... really loves. We had good times, and I'll wouldn't give up those memories for anything in the world... I was happy. But now... but now... " he seemed desperate now, as it the words were blades in his throat, but he was unwilling to let those blades come out lest they hurt anyone else, "I...I-" His eyes closed, tears falling even more so, flooding over his cheeks, and dropping to the floor, "I'm not! I'm not happy, Imaizumi-san. I'm not…"
Imaizumi watched him as he sobbed. It was a dagger in his side, watching the ever happy Onoda be broken like this, "I-" he began but words were nothing but sounds in the air right now, and he had never been good with them anyways, So he reached forward and pulled him into an embrace, tight and strong. The man in his arms sobbed, and didn't protest to Imaizumi's sudden action. Imaizumi relished in it as morbid and cruel as that sounded, it made him feel alive, feeling the length of Onoda body encased by him. He felt strong, and needed and protective. Feelings, true honest to god feelings..
They stayed like that for a while, until he heard Onoda muttering something into his shirt. Imaizumi strained his ears to hear.
"I'm sorry, i'm sorry, Imaizumi-san, I just want…" he let out out a shuddering breath. "I just wanted to tell someone.."
Imaizumi nodded against his head, feeling soft fine hairs on his cheek. Onoda's shoulders shook lightly, and then he pushed against Imaizumi's chest, and looked up at him.
His eyes were wet, glasses smeared, and the light smile he had made Imaizumi's heart beat just a little faster.
"Thank you Imaizumi-san." he said, truly being sincere. Then he adverted his eyes, "I just wanted to...feel something again. I've been … been so cold… these days."
The hug was arousing him for some ungodly reason and Imaizumi was trying to quench his freakin attraction to the man, when it was obvious that he was in pain and sex was not the answer. Onoda wiped his face, and looked up at him. "You always comfort me, Imaizumi-san. Even back in high school, you were always there. So thank you. I wish I could pay you back somehow."
Imaizumi swallowed hard at the words, knowing exactly what he would like, "We're friends, right? It's what friends do. You taught me that."
Onoda smiled, looking innocent and pure and endearing, "I'm glad you came by, I think I really needed to see a time before I was with... well with him. You are much more handsome."
Onoda's eyes widened as he realized what he said, a dash of red streaking across his face. "Sorry! I didnt... that was...!"
Imaizumi laughed, affection growing in him. "I'm glad you still find me attractive, Onoda."
Was he flirting? Imaizumi did not flirt, he usually let others come on to him, not the other way around. But this was not usual, this was Onoda, who was predictably unpredictable.
"Ah... I do! Still! Of course! As a friend! I mean...!" he was extremely flustered, red faced trying to explain his slip of the tongue. Imaizumi leaned forward with meaning to, brushing his tears away with his thumb, looking at him intensely. Onoda looked up at him, blinking in seeming slow motion. He licked his lips, an Imaizumi caved.
He pushed his lips against him, just a faint touch of lips that seemed forbidden and taboo. He couldn't understand why his brain was telling him that this was not the right course of action, because he body felt flushed and heated, desire welling up in him like a boiling water. Onoda reacted into the kiss, clutching the fabric of his shirt, and also pushing his lips forward. So, he wanted it too. That was good, very good. But Imaizumi warned himself that Onoda just might be caught In the moment, and that he should ready to stop when Onoda deemed it so. He really hoped he wouldn't. Imaizumi hugged him tighter, a hand coming up to angle his head, and deepened the kiss. Onoda melted in his arms, lips becoming languid and loose, kissing him back with just as much passion. Imaizumi tasted tea and the sugary sweetness of the cookies. He nipped at his lips, His tongue reaching out to feel the small smooth teeth, and a hesitating tongue. Onoda moaned into their mouths, a heady sound and it was exactly what imaizumi was waiting for. He wanted this, wanted Onoda. And maybe this was good for him, to be with someone else for a while.
Imaizumi pushed him back against the counter of his kitchen, feeling the hot aura from the smaller man. Onoda's mouth was compliant, but firm, his tongue experimental. Imaizumi held back a groan as he nipped at those lips again, pulled away for a breath and immediately came back for more. Though they were pressed against each other, it wasn't enough. Imaizumi was going to remedy that.
His hands came down to the man's hips, thumbs pressing softly against his hip bones, before reaching lower and lifting him up and on the counter. Onoda's eyes widened, shining brightly in the afternoon sun that was watching them from the kitchen window. They didn't stay open for long though, because Imaizumi gripped his knees and pulled them apart and stepped between them, pressing himself tightly against the junction of his body, and Onoda reacted very favorably.
He pulled away his captured lips from Imaizumi, a ragged gasp escaping him, his head hitting back against the cupboard, exposing a long flawless column.
Imaizumi eyed the skin, pale and unmarked. He leaned forward, and pressed a hot mouth against a hammering pulse. His tongue sweeping over the spot, before sucking hard.
Onoda moaned, a note from pure pleasure, and then swallowed hard. Imaizumi felt the motion and sound against his mouth, making his blood race and pool in his groin. He pressed himself tighter, hard flesh contained within his jeans begging for more, and he grabbed almost roughly at the hips in his hands.
Onoda looped an arm around Imaizumi's neck, his mouth traveling, open and wet to Imazumi lips. They kissed once, a passionate exchange, before Imaizumi started moving. He gyrated his hips, his body angling sharply to make contact in that blessed area where the pleasure was throbbing. Onoda gasped, the end of the sound turning into a moan, and he lifted his legs up around Imaizumi, trying to bring himself closer. Imaizumi thrust their hips together again, rushed breaths sweeping over their lips, when the sweet pressure was applied. It was glory incarnate, and Imazumi quickly unbuttoned his pants, displaying his obvious arousal to the world, kept in check by his dark blue boxers. He hurriedly did the same with Onoda, sucking in a breath when the bulge of his white briefs was revealed to his eyes. It was a sight to behold, and blood rushed through him and thoughts shut down. He wrapped an arm around Onoda's thin waist, and pressed their bodies together again, the barriers between their lower bodies thinner and therefore all the more hotter, shifting, and causing friction between them.
Onoda surprised him suddenly when his hand came down, reaching between them and cupping Imazumi, and the man let out a startled cry, eyes becoming wide as he felt fingers against the apex of heat and lust. His fingers were skillful, slowly tracing the outline straining in the boxers, softly but firmly gliding down as if he was reading Imaizumi's mind, knew exactly where to touch to make the buzzing in his mind grow.
His entire hand stroked down on him, pushing in tightly, encasing him neatly, and dragging another pleased, half strangled groan from Imaizumi. The hand moved again, a little quicker and harder and Imaizumi felt his arms turn to liquid. He thrust himself against the hand, wanting, needing more. He leaned his head against Onoda's shoulder, and there movements became quicker. The combination of the wandering fingers and the heat from the thrust was perfect and they fell into a rhythm. Heat and pleasure were making Imaizumi's spine tingle and thrum, and he wanted so much more than this but was too deep in, too centered on the pleasure that he didn't want to move to try more. He picked his head up, and looked up at Onoda.
He stilled when he met his eyes.
Onoda Sakamichi, had always been, in Imaizumi's opinion, sweet and innocent. Even if he was thoroughly enjoying this, tremendously, it was still sort of disconcerting that Onoda was divulging in sexual acts, with him no less.
But when they made eye contact, Imaizumi's throat went dry. Because Onoda was watching him a look of utter desire. Onoda wanted him, and that was unnerving. And while Imazumi was shocked, Onoda blushed suddenly, and leaned forward and kissed him lightly, as if teasing him.
He saw it in that instant, a vision so clear, so real, that he moaned. He saw Onoda beneath him, his legs trembling around Imaizumi's hips, hands gripping the sheets in tight fists. His eyes, a beautiful deep, dark, lust filled blue, glazed and half lidded, wet swollen lips opened, letting sultry moans fill the air with abandon. He saw Onoda open to him, the muscles in his stomach contracting as Imaizumi thrust into him, pleasure blinding him, the light dancing on his glistening skin. Imaizumi blinked, the hot coils in his body almost snapping, and he ripped himself from Onoda, his arousal missing, aching for Onoda's firm grasp, and weeping for release. Imaizumi leaned over the counter, his breath ragged, and desperate. He had almost let go, almost drowned in the pleasure and dropped his steel wrought discipline.
"Imai-… Imaizumi-san? Is something… I mean did I do something wrong?"
Imaizumi looked at him, and that was a bad idea, because Onoda had never looked more desirable than right now.
He was also breathing hard, his chest rising up and down, eyes dazed and teary. Shirt raised slightly, showing budding abs, his loosened pants exposing the briefs, showing a hard bulge in all its glory.
Imaizumi turned away as his own length throbbed at the sight. Goddamnit. He squeezed his eyes tight, but the image was already burned in his mind, and would probably fuel his erotic dreams for a long long time.
He heard rustling and turned to look at Onoda who had slid off the counter, buttoning up his pants and brushing a hand through his hair, "ah… Im… Im sorry." He was looking everywhere in the room except Imaizumi. "I don't… I don't know what came over me, Imaizumi-san."
Imaizumi corrected him quickly, "No, Its alright. I started it. And I didn't… I mean, I don't mind."
He more than didn't mind. He was still very aroused, standing there, his eye roving over the man that he really really wanted to bed. Every movement the man made, Imaizumi was watching, the way the sunlight highlighted his skin, the long lashes against the shine of his glasses, his lips, pink and wet with Imazumi saliva. No, he wanted to drag the man to the nearest bed and make his vision, the one that had almost made him orgasam, a reality.
Onoda wrapped his arms around himself, shaking his head, "Well, I'm sorry. It was still… Unexpected. I'm sorry. I hope that we… uh… can still be friends. even after I made you…"
Imaizumi was insistent, "Onoda, no. You didn't do anything wrong. We are still friends. Of course. Everything is normal."
It was not normal, the lust burning through him, and images of what they could do together. and Imaizumi knew that, and he wanted so much to broach the subject again that they could do more then some over the counter grinding, and then still be friends after that. Onoda had grown into something unbelievably desirable. He had always been cute, he supposed, and Imaizumi had always wanted to protect him, but now he was a man, thin but lean, skin smooth and fair, shy but bold, eyes bright as ever. Imaizumi wanted see him naked, stare at the curves and shadows of his body, trace muscles with his fingertips and fill his hands with the feel of him.
"I'm glad Imaizumi-san!" His eyes glanced at Imaizumi, but just as quickly looked away, "You are so forgiving. But still, I understand why you wanted to stop."
Imaizumi took the chance, "I didn't want to stop."
Onoda looked at him, shock still, eyes wide, "What? You-"
Imaizumi actually blushed, and he hadn't done that since his freshman year of college, but he was resolute, one burning track in his mind, "I don't want to stop."
Onoda's face became red, and Imaizumi had a flashback of the younger, cuter Onoda. "Wha- I-! I don't-! I mean… I thought… It's just-"
Imaizumi covered his mouth, nervous all of sudden, "You don't have to continue. But I felt we had chemistry. So, its up to you."
Onoda was still red, his shoulders tense, "I- I didn't mind either… I mean… I liked it too…a lot... but I don't want you to force yourself! I know… You're nice so you're trying to help me with… well… I understand."
Imaizumi almost snorted. He was being one hundred percent selfish in this, "No, Onoda. I want to… I want you."
Onoda's stiff shoulders dropped, and his face changed dramatically, something tender and vulnerable entered his eyes, his face hopeful, body leaning a little forward as if he were hanging on Imaizumi's next words, "You- you want me?"
Imaizumi frowned at his question. If his raging hardon or the way he had reacted so fiercely in that moment wasn't enough proof, than what was?
He nodded mutely, and Onoda seemed to shine, "Really? I mean… I know this is awkward but… I don't think I'm all that attractive and since his… I mean my ex's new boyfriend is a model. I thought the way I looked , I thought that was maybe part of the problem. But you're very good looking, Imaizumi-san, so I didn't think you would be attracted to me… I guess, I really needed to hear something like that. It makes me feel…" He blushed, red blossoming on his face like roses in spring, looking beautiful and sweet, and Imaizumi wanted to kiss him, and do it hard. Not attractive? Is that what he saw? Imaizumi traced the frame of his body with his eyes, the sloping V of his figure, the curve of his spine that spanned out to a rounded, firm bottom. He was thin, lithe and looked rather flexible. And with that body was that utterly kissable, blushing face with bright blue eyes and warm, joy filled smile. Onoda, Imaizumi was starting to figure out, was damn sexy in his own way, eager to please and rather experimental. It was everything that Imaizumi wanted from a partner during sex.
"Still… I've… I've never… slept with anyone else besides… ah… my ex. But I would… uh… I would like… to… ah…" He was still red, not looking at him in the eye, shoulders tense again. Imaizumi mentally smiled at how this man could go from seductive to adorable in the span five seconds. He understood what Onoda was trying to say, and stepped up to him, cupping his cheeks and turning his face to make eye contact. Onoda's eyes were wide, but he could feel that he was quivering with anticipation. He kissed him roughly, heated, bringing back all the passion of their earlier grinding. When he pulled away, there was a question on his lips.
Breathing hard, he asked, "Where's your bedroom?"
The next moments were fierce, and wild, teeth bared and biting on lightly freckled pale shoulders. Hands grasping desperately at each other, and moans lifting around them like the swell of an orchestra.
The made a perfect picture, kneeling on the queen sized bed , kissing each other with wanton.
His eyes were glazed, passion and lust evident in the stormy blues, mirrors of the dark light shining from Imaizumi.
Onoda gasped again, as hands drifted down to the small of his back, lifting him to press their eager hips together, causing a hitched breath and fluttering eyes.
Pleasure made Imaizumi's senses melt, the bones in his body liquify, and all that mattered was the points were their bodies connected. It was so hot, a furnace of lust burning between them, and Imaizumi let his hands travel beneath Onoda's loosened pants, gripping the supple firm flesh he found there. He grunted roughly when Onoda pressed himself further into his hands, a sharp note rising from his mouth. Imaizumi gritted his teeth, warmth and sensuality spreading through to his groin. His hands gripped harder, and he rolled his hips in, the sensation was as powerful as strong waves crashing on the shore, a strained grunt escaping from his mouth.
Onoda hissed, fingers pressing to indent into Imaizumi back, mouth needy on the slope of his neck, "Imai… Imaizumi-san…"
He stiffened slightly as Onoda called his name, not liking how formal it sounded in this moment. He nosed along his neck, past the mark that he had left there, dark and promising, to an earlobe.
"Shunsuke…" he whispered, his name sounded rough even to him. It was Onoda's turn to stiffen, and he turned to look at him. He was breathing rather hard, his lips wet after their wild exchange. "Shun… " His eyes widened as he processed the command, a blush darkening his already flushed face. He reached out, both hands coming up to tentatively touch his shoulders. "I… Can I?" He said shyly, "Can I call you that?"
Imaizumi wondered at his hesitation. They were having sex, they should be at least on first name basis. Instead of speaking though, Imaizumi kissed him, hard.
He wanted more, and his hands moved of their own accord, drifting to the front of his pants, cupping the man, and Onoda exhaled roughly near his ear.
He could feel Onoda's pulse in the hardness in his hands. It was strong and tantalizing, and Imaizumi wanted to feel that rugged unsteady beat against his tongue, wondering if it felt the same as the hammering rhythm in his neck. Slowly, he pushed his pants down, fingers pressing lightly against the strained muscle, giving Onoda every opportunity to stop him.
Onoda only pushed himself into Imaizumi's hand, his mouth kissing along the side of his jaw. That was good, because Imaizumi was not sure that he could stop. He wanted this, wanted union, and satisfaction.
He led a healthy sex life, and slept with people often to make sure that he wasn't frustrated. It wasn't good to restrict himself if it affected his cycling. But, this wasn't just to slake his lust, this was… different. Perhaps, it was the fact that this was Onoda, an old friend, one he genuinely cared about. It could be that Onoda was in pain, trying to forget the man that ripped out his heart and was refusing to give it back. Maybe it was his figure, lean muscles covered in pale skin, almost glowing in the waning light of the afternoon sun. Most likely, it was all those elements rolled into one.
Onoda mouthed up to his earlobe, a small gasp escaping him.
There was that too, the sounds, the moans, the gasps, soft and quiet, but full of pleasure and longing, better than the praises and adulations of the cheering crowd at the finish line.
He wanted to fill himself up with his sounds.
His hand slipped into the tight briefs, his cool hands touching hot skin.
Onoda strained back, and he choked back a moan, "Ah… "
Imaizumi wrapped his hand around him, tugging against the firm flesh pulsing in his palm. The way it harden further, the smooth skin throbbing made his mouth water and body ache.
Imaizumi kissed the side of Onoda's neck, and pulled softly, making him gasp, "Ah! Imai-"
His name went unfinished, and Imaizumi frowned that Onoda was not saying his first name. Old habits die hard, he supposed.
"Shunsuke, " Imazumi whispered, and his fist tightened to make his point. Onoda moaned, something from low in his throat, and he kissed Imaizumi, "S-sorry…" he said breathlessly, a blush adorning his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He looked so shy, so… kissable at that moment, that Imaizumi stopped and did just that, pushing his mouth against him, his tongue reaching out to taste his lips. Onoda let him, and his hands drifted from his shoulders to Imaizumi's waist.
When they pulled apart, gasping for much needed air, Onoda looked up at him with hazy eyes through his eyelashes, "Can I… Can I touch you?"
Imaizumi nodded against his shoulder, and held his breath as Onoda's hand drifted along his waist, feathery caresses down the tight muscles of his stomach and finally along his boxers. He hesitated and fingers danced across the waistband, making Imaizumi scoot unintentionally into his hand. Onoda reached up, dragging his lips against Imaizumi's and his hand reached into Imaizumi's boxers. His hand was warm, and smooth, fingers soft as they gripped him almost expertly. Imaizumi squeezed his eyes tight, feeling a knot in his lower region tighten and loosen and tighten and loosen over and over again, the hot coils that lined his veins burning. Onoda's hand was small, but the way he held him, thumb roving, fingers gripping, exerting just enough constant pressure to keep Imaizumi panting. Then he closed his hand over him, pulling up, starting a slow, rough rhythm.
Imaizumi gasped, and closed his eyes. It was getting too hot for clothing, so Imaizumi took his hand out of Onoda's briefs and pushed away his pants and underwear, seeing for the him for the first time. Loosened from his cloth prison, Onoda's erection stood straight, the tip wet with desire. Imaizumi glossed over it with his fingers, watching as it twitched under his caresses.
He suddenly wanted to see all of Onoda, and he pushed him away, making him fall back on his haunches, hand tangled in Imaizumi's boxers."Wha-" he started, but was cut off by Imaizumi pulling the smaller man's shirt off, and throwing it somewhere in the room. He pushed Onoda back again, until he fell down against the white bedsheets, and Imaizumi noticed that his glasses were missing, probably tangled up in the shirt that he had almost ripped off of him. Imaizumi did quick work of his pants, sliding them off of his legs, and finally, he was bare before him.
Imaizumi sat back on his legs, staring at the man, eyes darkening to a lust filled black, and took in every dip and curve, the shadows and the lined muscles, relishing in the sight.
Onoda swallowed hard, as Imaizumi leaned over to him, kissing him roughly, before gliding down, landing slightly biting kisses on the expanse of the man's neck, and going further down. His hands caressed down the length of his body, making his mouth and tongue travel over the same burning paths. Onoda's hands pulled him closer, fingers sweeping through Imaizumi's thin hair, his moans starting up again, encouraging him quietly.
Imaizumi landed wet sloppy kisses against the smooth tight stomach, before glancing down to his true goal, the delectable flesh between his legs that was begging for his mouth. Onoda stopped him though, " Can… Can I look at you?"
Imaizumi frowned, confused, "What?"
Onoda blushed, his eyes looking away shyly, "ah, Your clothes, um, I'm naked and you're… uh… not."
Imaizumi sat back, and pulled off his shirt, understanding Onoda's request. Besides, he wanted to feel the warm skin against him. He quickly took off his jeans and underwear off also, literally throwing them somewhere in the room, not caring in the least.
Onoda sat up also, head slightly cocked, and leaning back on his braced arms, legs still loosely folded around Imaizumi's hips. When Imaizumi turned his attention back to him, he met Onoda's clear blue eyes, watching him with something akin to worship.
"Imaizumi-san, you are beautiful. I mean… You're lovely."
Imaizumi didn't know what to say, because in his opinion Onoda was the one with unbelievable beauty. He also didn't like that Onoda was refusing to say his name. Imaizumi wanted to hear his name in the midst of moans and sultry gasps. "I told you to call me Shunsuke."
Onoda was looking at the area between their legs, looking red and embarrassed, "Yes… Sorry, I keep forgetting, Shu- Shunsuke-san."
Imaizumi actually smiled and leaned over to kiss him, the kiss staring light and quickly turning heavy and rushed as Imaizumi's forward movement caused their hips to rub together, caused friction between them. They both gasped into their mouths, and Onoda ran his hands up and down Imiazumi's chest, fingertips moving in random soft circles. When Imaizumi pulled away, he leaned his head against Onoda's and caught his breath, "Just Shunsuke, just shunsuke."
Onoda half grinned, "I'll try… Shunsuke."
Imaizumi kissed him again pulling Onoda's leg around him, tighter and pushed him back, and hovered over him again, his hands traveling to their lengths rubbing against each other. He pulled at them, together, and grit his teeth as Onoda closed his eyes and his mouth opened with a low moan. His tossed back head exposed his neck again and Imaizumi spotted the dark mark he had left before
Imaizumi had never been into leaving behind love bites, but there was something… carnal about claiming him like this. Something possessive that grew up within him. He swept the spot with his tongue, eliciting a groan from Onoda, and Imaizumi liked the action, his hand went down harder on their weeping erections, and he sucked on the sweet spot on Onoda's neck, teeth scraping every once in a while.
Their hips moved in tandem, seeking more contact, craving it. Onoda's hands came up too pull the black strands of Imaizumi's hair, moaning and thrusting against him.
Imaizumi stopped sucking, and kissed him again. Moving his hand quicker, loving their joint movements.
"Ah! Shunsuke! Ah!"
The breathy pleading tone opened the floodgates of desire, his name said so erotically released a beast inside him, and Imaizumi pulled his hand away, leaning back and working his hand over them like a possessed man. Onoda hands were twisting the white sheets beneath them, hip thrusting up and down, moving his body in a seductive wave, undulating out to Imaizumi's lips.
He answered roughly, biting down the hardened nubs of his chest, and Onoda hissed his hand trying to push him away as a tongue flicked at him, drawing out a sharp cry from the man.
"S-s-stop..." Imaizumi heard and grinned. Onoda seem to have a very sensitive spot. An unoccupied hand came up to press a thumb against the lonely twin, pressing hard and rolling it around.
Onoda grit his teeth, eyes closed tight, hand still trying to push him away. The hand was insistent, but Imaizumi only ignored it, rubbing their hard flesh together.
"Shunsuke, please... s-s-stop"
Imaizumi frowned slightly, but still continued, switching over to lathe on the other peak. He liked Onoda's taste and wanted more. He stopped his movement on their lengths and wrapped arm around Onoda's thigh, pulling him up until the junction his body was in line with Imaizumi's mouth. He didn't give Onoda a warning, as he grabbed the hard flesh and ran his tongue over the end, it tasted strong and heady, like rich wine and the long deep moan from Onoda and the way the flesh trembled against his mouth only helped the assertion. Imaizumi was about to cover it with his lips, to trying and feel the pulse against his tongue, when Onoda kicked him. Actually kicked him, "I said stop!"
His voice was steely, iron laced in the usually gentle tone and when Imaizumi brought up shocked eyes, he was confronted with determined hard blue orbs, and furrowed brow. He couldn't understand what he had done wrong, but he really like this side of him, and wanted more. Onoda was breathing hard, and he folded his legs away, and crept forward to Imaizumi. "S-sorry, I didn't… I mean I was about to… uh finish. I didn't want to." His eyes became shy again and the contrast was so hot that Imaizumi could only think of bringing out more of Onoda's dormant dominant side. He usually topped when he slept with men, but he suddenly wanted the know what Onoda would feel like inside him.
Onoda finally came and sat in his lap, drawing a pleasured moan from both of them. "I- I want you inside of me, Shunsuke… Please." Onoda said, eyes downcast, cheeks red either from his request or from Imaizumi's earlier actions.
Imaizumi let out a shuddering breath, and his hands drifted to the man's bottom. Well, that was one request that he would be more than willing to fulfill. The flesh in his hand was full and smooth. "Do you have things for this?" he asked as he caressed his bottom.
Onoda nodded, blushing again, and scooted off of him, jumping off the bed. Imaizumi looked appreciatively at the his nakedness, watching with dark eyes the muscles in motion.
How had Onoda become so goddamn sexy? Was it because he had grown up? Because he was a man now, still small, but a man nevertheless. Was it because he was still sweet and kind in that body?
Or was it Imaizumi himself that had changed? He had been interested in Onoda when they were younger, but denied the feeling when Onoda had confessed that he had a crush on him in their senior year. That day had been hard on everyone. Thier distant years after were because of Imaizumi's obvious discomfort with the emotion. Of course, he had quenched down his affection for the boy at the time, because liking men was not something he wanted to do. In University however, his more experimental years had taught him that he liked sleeping with men more than woman, but neither invoked the same kind of endearment and warmth that he had for Onoda.
Onoda returned with a small bottle and a foil packet in his hand, looking sheepish. "Sorry, I took awhile." he said as he climbed back on the bed, and Imaizumi watched every movement, studying him, realizing that he had missed him.
Onoda looked unsure of himself, and Imaizumi wanted to get back into action quickly. "How do you want to do this?" He asked urgently.
Onoda blinked at his request, "Uh… You'll let me pick?"
Imaizumi nodded, his hands reaching out to touch his knees, discontent with the lack of contact. Onoda smiled and climbed back into his lap, and Imaizumi crossed his legs to accommodate him. He felt like this position was a little awkward, and wondered how he was supposed to prepare him like this. His hands drifted back to his bottom, and he squeezed, making Onoda gasp and thrust into his hip, causing friction again.
Onoda looped his arms around Imaizumi's neck, and then looking at him in the eyes, he kissed him.
This kiss was so different from everything he had ever experienced. It was soft and gentle, like lapping waves on the shores that Imaizumi liked to frequent, but in the middle of storm. It was so contradictory. It was… loving.
Imaizumi let Onoda lead in it, trying to match his motions with his, trying to comprehend the feeling welling up inside, not lust or desire but deep intimacy. It was like tasting heaven and Imaizumi knew that from that moment on he would always compare every kiss to this one.
Onoda lifted himself, rubbing their groins together, "Go ahead, S-shunsuke, you can… start."
Imaizumi reached for the bottle on the mattress reluctantly pulling away from the kiss. He was still a little confused about the how, but he starting to get desperate to be in him that he just improvised. He glanced at the bottle, and flicked it open, squeezing the contents over the slope of his bottom, earning a shuddering breath from Onoda, his skin prickling from the cold touch. Imaizumi ran his fingers through the liquid, covering his fingers with it before compressing the bottle again, this time directly in the valley.
Everything was wet and slick now, and Imaizumi took in a breath and carefully ran his fingers up to the entrance there, feeling the knot of tight flesh. Onoda kissed his along his earlobe, hands grasping his shoulders, "Please…" He said quietly, "Please."
Imaizumi needed no further prodding and pressed one thin finger in him, working at the ring with practiced ease. Onoda was tight, and small, and Imaizumi bit back a groan as he invaded his body. It felt glorious, and he suddenly couldn't wait to be actually inside of him. He twisted his fingers pulling out and angling it so he could find that blessed spot inside of him.
Onoda was gasping softly, murmuring his Imaizumi's name under his breath, the hands lightly combing through Imaizumi's black hair. They probably made a pretty picture, worthy of a painting even, until Imaizumi pushed in another finger and Onoda jerked, a raw beastly sound coming out of him, "Ah... !" His eyes were squeezed shut and Imaizumi felt powerful as he pushed against him again, this time a little deeper, resulting in the same intoxicating sounds from Onoda. Imaizumi loved it, craved it with everything in him, and he became wilder, his other hand clenching the flesh of his bottom.
"Oh! Oh"
He was starting to get into a pattern, as he worked his fingers in and out, hooking and widening inside him, loosening him for their inevitable union. Onoda, always eager to please brought his hands down and fisted over Imaizumi's erection, causing Imaizumi to gasp, leaning his head against Onoda's shoulders, nipping at the smooth skin there.
Imaizumi groaned as Onoda's skillful fingers played with him, pulling tightly. Goddamn it this was hot, and Imaizumi thrust his hips into the Onoda's hand, his fingers exploring inside of him. Onoda leaned back, showing his flexibility as he curved his spine, and reached for the foil packet. Imaizumi's eyes widened as he understood what was happening, and his anticipation made him finger deeper, Onoda bit his lips, closing his eyes and grunted, trying to open the packet, unable to do so until he brought up to his teeth, ripping it almost savagely. Imaizumi was breathing hard now, and watching with fascination as Onoda unrolled the condom over his throbbing length. the cold touch of the elastic made him shiver and that was followed by a quick jerk, and Onoda secured it, his hand now covered in slick liquid.
He looked up and his eyes were that hot fiery determination that could only he could pull off, and his gaze shifted to expectation. Imaizumi nodded and kissed him eagerly, taking his fingers out of Onoda, coming up to grab his neck and kiss him.
Imaizumi marveled on how he could have lasted this long, and knew the moment he entered Onoda, he would have clamp down on his thoughts and grasp at anything to keep himself from coming.
Onoda was not helping that at all. He looked beautiful, gasping above him, lips wet from their kiss, eyes looking down at him with wonder, half lidded with desire. Imaizumi kissed Onoda's chest, light kisses as he lifted his hips and positioned him. Onoda pressed his lips against his forehead and pushed himself down onto the the waiting memeber. They both gasped, as the sensations shot through them.
"Ah, Shunsuke, Ah! Yes… please."
Imaizumi bit into Onoda's shoulder and gripped his bottom roughly, lowering the man onto himself.
Union feeling like an explosions of color, fireworks erupting into his stomach, shooting sparks into his veins.
When he was in, and they were gasping trying the catching their breaths, Onoda's hand cupped Imaizumi's face kissing him with that soul enlightening kiss that Imaizumi craved. Imaizumi kissed him back with fervor, with desperate passion, wrapping his arms around him, and moved, thrusting lightly.
Union was long overdue, and Imaizumi closed his eyes tight, and thrust again, this time moaning as the heat and tightness around him made his vision blur.
He thrust again, now with purpose, pushing Onoda's hips down as he did so . Onoda cried out, moving his hips, the rolling motion making Imaizumi's jaw drop as sensuality coated his body. He moved Onoda faster on his hips, thrusting up to meet him, and his tongue reached out to flick over the handen nubs on his chest. Onoda pulled at his hair, mouthing against his forehead, his chin wet with their joined saliva. Their movement became desperate, moving in tandem and Onoda threw his head back with a shout when Imaizumi hit a spot inside of him. Imaizumi latched on the spot he favored on his neck, and sucked hands pulling at his hair were tugging roughly now, as Onoda tightened around him, bouncing his body on Imaizumi.
He stopped sucking, feeling his own pleasure reaching for that apex, and pulled away. He wanted Onoda to finish before him, he wanted to watch and engrave the image in his mind. He pushed him over, making Onoda fall back on the mattress, legs spread, giving Imazumi a view of their joined bodies. He liked this, oh god, did he like this
Onoda's eyes were wet, his stomach muscles tense, his spine arching artistically, fingers spread and clutching the sheet to anchor himself, but Imaizumi wanted him to drown in the sensations. The hot coils in his own body twisted together in the most delicious ways, tightening into knots so tight they would soon explode.
Onoda was the picture of erotic art, skin wet with precipitation, catching the orange red of the the afternoon sun, eyes a deep ocean blue, like the sea in a storm set into a red blushing face, lips kiss-bruised and open, and Imaizumi's eyes drifted down the hard length between them, dripping with moisture, erect and desirable. Imaizumi gripped it in his hand, fingers working it, and Onoda strained against him, and he tightened around Imaizumi who was still blessedly buried within him. The wall around him, clamped down, and Imaizumi actually saw white. He choked back a groan, eyes automatically closing shut, as the hot blades entered into his spine, injecting this hot electric liquid in his veins. He tried to think of everything, of anything else, try and stop the onslaught. He had never wanted something so much, but at the same time wanted to prolong climbing to it. He controlled his breathing, his hip thrusting in the same steady deep rhythm, hand going leisurely
on Onoda, as he dragged himself away from climax.
"Shu-" he heard, a half moan, half plead, "Shu- Shunsuke. Please... ah!… Please..."
His name sounded like poetry, quiet and heavy in the moment, and he looked down, and his thin hold of his self control snapped like rubber band, hard and sharp.
His earlier vision was nothing, absolutely nothing, was uncomparable to this. Onoda was stretched out on the white bedsheets, his body slick with sweat and Imaizumi could see the marks he had left on his body, claiming him. The muscles rippled, hands clutching, clawing at the pillows, eyes hazed with so much desire, mouth open and moaning, wiggling from the intensity of what he was feeling. He caught Imaizumi's eyes, and said his name, amongst the moans, and pouted his lips a little, seemingly begging for a kiss.
Imaizumi kissed the asking lips and pulled up, moving suddenly, exploding into action. He thrust harder, needy, and reckless, in tune with his hand that was still gripped the Onoda's hardness, the sounds of wet flesh slapping joined the incoherent moans and groans into the air. The bed, uncontent with its silence, joined the procession with the slight noise of wood creaking and thumping of the mattress. Imaizumi kept his eyes open as he moved frantically, the edges of his vision burning as the white hot light began invading. He caught Onoda's eyes, and Imaizumi actually froze when a bright light shined from the depths of the stormy lust. It was blinding and pure, such in contrast to the burning fire around them. It punched the breath out of him, but he couldn't dwell on it because the eyes closed and Onoda exploded beneath him. It was glorious the way his body jerked, the way his spine became taut like a readied bow, hands desperate against the sheets, broken loud unhindered moans rising like a sun. Imaizumi sped his hand up watching the man come undone, splintering as the pleasure shook him. All his muscles tensed, and he was rigid, a statue of sensuality carved by the gods, as he painted Imaizumi's hand with his essence.
Imaizumi could not marvel at the satisfaction,because as Onoda hit climax he clenched around him, and it was too much for the man. Seeing, breathing, loving him like this, it all came together in a symphony of feelings that rose in his throat and choked him, the white coils in his body snapped, and he threw his head back, thrusting harder into the beautiful body below him, as his veins were set on fire, every nerve alive with a hot, burning electricity, a half strangled moan escaped from his mouth, and everything pent up inside him erupted, shattering into a million charged pieces, he went blind as the pleasure coursed through his body like lightning, and the world shifted, and he felt like he was hanging over the edge of the world, not know what was up or down. With an intense shudder, heat poured out of him and into Onoda, who whimpered. Imaizumi twitched back into reality, the blinding pleasure fading as he returned from his high, and regained most of his balance. He collapsed on Onoda pulling out, regretfully.
Onoda kissed him softly, and smiling fondly, tiredly, he said, "Thank you, Shunsuke. Thank you."
Imaizumi blinked at his words, confused. He nodded stoically "Yeah."
He had to get rid of the condom, but was too exhausted to move. Onoda kissed his cheek, "There's a trash can right there," he said, eyes half lidded, blue still bright though, glancing to the side of the bed. Imaizumi nodded and reluctantly left the warmth of Onoda's figure and took care of himself, cleaning off his hand with some tissue on the bedstand. When he came back, eager to wrap Onoda back up in his arms, he saw that he was sleeping, looking angelic in the darkening light. Imaizumi laid down next to him, his eyelids drooping down as fatigue pulled at him. He reached out and touched Onoda's lips lightly, then his cheek, memorizing the curve of his jaw, his eyelashes brushing against his soft face.
Onoda was lovely, and Imaizumi wished, as he fell in the black abyss of sleep, that Onoda was his.
When he awoke, the windows were dark, stars sparkling through the lacy curtains of Onoda's bedroom. Imaizumi flipped over, blinking at his surroundings as they unfamiliar to him. He was sore, his thighs and hips aching as if he had ran the Tour De France instead of riding it. There was a breathy whimper, and Imaizumi turned to look at Onoda, who was still asleep.
There was enough light from the full moon to envelope him, his pale, beautiful skin exposed to the cool air. He was laying on his side, his back facing Imaizumi.
Imaizumi's eyes darkened as he saw the expanse of naked flesh, pupils dilating as they took in the slope of his waist and the spine that had arched under him not too many hours ago. He followed the curve to Onoda's neck, to the short curls of soft hair. Imaizumi wanted to reach out and bring him close, bring his arms around the sweet indent of Onoda's waist, and feel the smooth skin in the hollow of his body. He wanted to kiss along his neck, teeth tugging at the flawless skin he found there, bury his nose in the prickle soft black hair.
He turned his eyes away, breathing hard, and pushed at the whispering arousal that was growing in his abdomen.
He nimbly got out of the bed and found his boxers, thrown haphazardly over a pile of books.
He headed to the bathroom, and cleaned himself up, and put his boxers back on. He wanted to get back into the warm sheets and touch the man laying there, feel the smooth skin under his hands, and hear his quiet pleas again. Imaizumi closed his eyes and bumped his head lightly against the bathroom door frame. His blood was racing at the memories of Onoda reaching climax and it was warning. Imaizumi felt off kilter, never experiencing this type of heady uncontrollable lust. He liked sex just fine, but once every other week was enough for him. Never had he wanted to go at it again so quickly after completion. Another first for him. Onoda seemed to make him have a lot of those it seemed.
He decided not to go back into room, because his will power and reasoning wasn't very solid at the moment. He made his way into the kitchen, his hand wandering along the wall to look for the light switch. When he flicked it on, he blinked in the florescent lights. He was suddenly thirsty and made himself quite at home, searching the cupboards for a glass. His eyes drifted to the spot where he and Onoda had their first heated moment, and remember how willing and compliant Onoda had been, how their hips had felt grinding into each other on that counter and the dark mark that Imaizumi had left on the man's pale neck.
Imaizumi frowned at his thoughts, how fiercely they kept taking him back to Onoda. He sighed, rubbing his forehead and opened the refrigerator, taking out a water bottle. He poured himself a glass, and meandered out of the kitchen into the living room. Now was the awkwardness of sleeping with a friend. What now? Would Onoda thank him and send him on his way? Was it possible that he would perhaps want to go another round? Could they take this a step further and be more than friends. Be the type of friends that slept together?
Imaizumi frowned as his heart clenched at that thought. Something had happened, something changed. He wanted more than sex, more than pleasure from Onoda. He didn't know just what exactly, but felt like being friends with benefits would not cut it. Onoda offered so much, and Imaizumi was selfish. He wanted it. He wanted it shook his head and wandered around, scanning the pictures again in the pretty decorative frames. He came upon the pictures that was face down on the shelf, the one he had spotted earlier. Imaizumi picked it up, turning it over in his hands. It was a picture of Onoda and another man, their pose too close and too familiar to say they were just friends. Onoda's smile was wide and bright and full of joy, his arm wrapped around the man's waist, love displayed in every curve of his body. The man on the other hand, while holding Onoda in the same manner, looked distant, forced. His angled eyes looking at the camera but in no way displaying the same unhindered adoration in Onoda's eyes.
He had seen that look, the light within Onoda's eyes for a moment, a beacon shining bright in the hazy lust, when they both shuddered into release. Was that… was that love?
Imaizumi clutched the frame in his hands, his knuckles white, and deep hatred and anger and understanding coursed through him. And...
Jealousy.
It was a thick bile down his throat, dropping into a burning fire in his core. This man, this fool, this idiot had something beautiful, had someone that adored him, had Onoda for god sake's. How could he cheat on Onoda, who embodied sweetness, kindness and beauty? Onoda, who loved fiercely, both in bed and out of it. Onoda, who suddenly was everything that Imazumi wanted in his life.
Who could walk away from that, who could hurt him? His anger was burning, and his thoughts turn dark. Then they drifted to Onoda.
Onoda still had this picture, still safe and treasured in this silver frame, cared for in his living room. The nails in his thumbs pressed harder into the glass, wanting it the shatter in his tight fists, knowing that Onoda was not over this man. That their lovemaking was because Onoda was heartsick over this bastard. The injustice of it stung.
"Imaizumi-san?"
He started slightly, shifting his eyes to look at Onoda who was standing in the living room doorways, watching him concerned eyes, glasses missing, wearing his white briefs and his Imazumi's shirt, which stirred something deep with the pit of his he also noticed that Onoda had gone back to being formal with him.
"Is something wrong?" He asked quietly, and his eyes squinted at the photo frame in Imaizumi's hand. "What are you looking at?"
He came closer and Imaizumi felt the burning heat spread throughout his body, anger making him clench his teeth.
Onoda approached hesitantly, looking at the picture in his hands. "Ah… That was taken last year. I thought that maybe a vacation would… help us." He chuckled lightly and took the frame delicately out of Imaizumi's hands, putting it back on the shelf, "I guess it was too late by then."
Imaizumi's lashed out suddenly, unable contain himself, "I can't believe you, why do you still care about that bastard. Didn't he hurt you?"
Onoda took a step back, brow furrowing, "Yes, he did, but I still care I-"
"Do you still love him, Onoda? Is that it? If he were to come back would you accept him with open arms."
"Imaizumi-san, why are you-"
"Because its pathetic!
Onoda eyes widened, and they grew wet, and Imaizumi instantly regretted his words.
"I know, Imaizumi-san! I know it's pathetic, but I can't just stop loving someone just like that. Maybe, you're expecting too much from me. Maybe I am pathetic."
Imazumi winced at the self-deprecating words, and sighed, his indignant anger cooling down at the sight of Onoda looking so vulnerable.
He was beautiful, and precious and Imazumi wanted nothing more than to soothe his heartache with soft kisses and sweet words.
"No, You're not, Onoda. You… you are… He didn't deserve you. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you loved them." He reached out and caressed the side of his face, feeling the smooth skin as his fingers traced his jaw, and Onoda looked up at him, eyes trusting, and teary. Imaizumi leaned down and kissed him, lips lightly touching his in the way that Onoda had taught him earlier, trying to convey not lust or passion, but the desire to hold him close, feel his heartbeat, watch the world in the reflections of his eyes, hear the lit of his laugh, and bask in the glory of his smile. He pressed in closer, hands cupping his face and for the first time Onoda struggled, and pulled away.
It felt like a stab in his chest, warmth leaving him in that instant, as Onoda stepped back, "Why are you doing this, Imazumi-san? I mean… I was okay with what we did. I know you were trying to help me, and you wanted to…" He blushed, looking young and sweet and kissable, "Well, wanted me, but… why? Why are you still… touching me, kissing me like this?"
Imaizumi shifted on one foot, covering his mouth nervously. He could still taste Onoda on his lips, hands tingling where they had touched, "What do you mean?"
Onoda wrapped his arms around himself, looking pointedly away, "Aren't I just a one night stand for you? Thank you for… being with me but… you kissing me like this, it's- it's confusing me."
Imazumi reached out and grabbed his shoulders, making his sad blue eyes make contact, "No. its not that. You're not, Onoda. What we did back there, that wasn't just… that felt like…No, that was more, I have never felt like that before. I wanted you, yes, but when we were together, when I look at you, I want more than just sex, I want…" He paused unable to voice the feeling choking him. He clenched his teeth, and turned away, desperately searching for what to say, to speak what he felt but there wasn't words that could come close to convey this. The corner of his eyes caught the silver glint of the frame. He suddenly understood, and he snatched it off the shelf. "This. I want this. I want you to look at me like this, and feel this way about me."
Onoda didn't look at the picture, because he didn't need to. He probably had stared at that picture thousands of time, memorizing every line, and Imaizumi wanted that from him, wanted Onoda to love him that fiercely, that beautifully. Gods knew that Imazumi loved no one in his life. He lived from day to day, accomplishing his goals like a checklist, fueling his nights with passionate embraces with strangers, kissing lips that he cared nothing for after he was sated. But Onoda, Onoda was hope, and dreams, like the beckoning light of dawn after trudging desperately lost in the dark, endless night. Here, before him was his chance to live again, to truly taste life, and Imaizumi wanted to grabbed hold of him, and breath him in until he was filled with Onoda, know every expression, every glance, every word. He wanted to know him deeply, intimately, he wanted to reach heaven again, clutching his hand, fingers intertwined knowing that wherever he went ,Onoda would go with him, He wanted that. He needed that, because all of sudden, in that moment, Imazumi couldn't see his life being anything than miserable without him near, without him at all.
"Don't." Onoda said, eyes squeezed tight, "Don't say that, Imazumi-san. Please. I can't…"
Imaizumi pressed him, "Just listen, I know that you're afraid, but I won't… I won't do that to you. I won't hurt you like that."
Onoda was backing away from his, tears falling down his face, eyes still closed, "No! No! Please! Don't say those things. I can't… It hurts still. I'm scared. I can't…"
Imaizumi watched him, cursing the growing distance between them. He wanted to reach out and shake him, make his understand that it could be better, that this was a chance they could both take. From this moment on, they could be happy, truly happy. "We should try at least, you don't kno-"
"I don't want to love like that again! You don't understand, do you! It hurts, I miss him and want him and love him, and hate him all at the same time! I can't just move on, Imaizumi-san! I want to forget, I want to pretend I don't feel this way, but I do! I feel it with everything in me, I close my eyes and he's there, and I dream and I see him, And I'm happy. Can you believe that!?" He was working himself into a frenzy, "I'm happy! He tore my heart out, and I'm happy when I see him. So, I can't. Please don't tell me that, Imaizumi-san. I can't love you like that. I don't ever want to love someone like that again."
Imaizumi reached out again, and Onoda flinched away from his hand, "I'm sorry, Onoda. I'm sorry. Im so sorry. I didn't… I didn't understand. I was… I am selfish. I wasn't… Please. Let me…" he reached out again, desperate to touch him, to comfort him, to do something about his pain. "Please…"
Onoda looked at him, his face wet, tears dripping onto the light blue fabric of Imaizumi's shirt, looking broken and wounded, afraid, like a downed bird, scared of the world when not flying happily above it. He stood still, eyes trying to blink away tears, and Imaizumi gently brushed them away with his thumbs. At contact, Onoda closed his eyes, cutting the blue poignant gaze, and shuddered into his hands, and Imaizumi pulled him close again, holding him tightly, pressing him in, trying to shield him from the pain, even though it came from within. "I'm sorry, Onoda, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated over and over again, knowing that it could never take away the wounds that he inflicted with his thoughtless selfish words, the scars he was tearing open with his wants. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry…"
The silence reigned over them, the only sounds echoing in the quiet room were the slight sniffles, a muffled cry, and trembling shoulders. Finally, when Onoda was still in his arms, Imaizumi whispered softly in his ears, "Lets go back to bed."
Onoda stiffened, and Imazumi was quick to explain, " To just lay down, I want to be there for you. I swear. I don't want… you don't have to anything else, i just want to be there for you."
"Are you sure… You're not expecting… s-sex later… are you? Because I-" Onoda started from somewhere around his collarbone. Imaizumi closed his eyes, because he felt his lips against his skin, light and soft, and he was disgusted with himself because he did want Onoda again, feel that union of pleasure and significance again.
"I'm not expecting it, but I have to be honest with you. I will always want that with you. You are… you're beautiful, and you make me feel alive, Onoda. But I will not force you to do anything. I'll be your friend first, and everything else can wait, or not happen. Its what you want."
Onoda looked up at him, again, blinking, his eyes grateful, "I'm sorry… I think… we should… wait-"
"Don't apologize. I'm here for you. I'll do what you want."
Onoda nodded, "Thank you. Thank you Imazumi-san." his blue eyes looked at him fondly, "Can we… can we just sleep together? I mean, just sleep! If you don't want to, I understa-"
"Its okay. I'll do that, I like that idea." Imaizumi said, and Onoda beamed at him, smiling for the first time in awhile. Despite his tears, despite the pain just under the surface, his smile looked so full, so joyous. Imaizumi gently kissed him on the forehead, despite himself, and he apologized profusely afterwards. Onoda was still smiling at him, the blue of his eyes catching the light of the stars in the windows. They were soulful, and deep, and Imaizumi had always thought all that bull about getting lost in someone's eyes was for girls' romance novels, but here was proof here was evidence in the flesh, because Imazumi wanted to drown in his gaze, wanted those eyes to always look at him.
Onoda reached out for his hand, thin calloused fingers gripping his, shyly but strongly before turning around and leading him back to the room.
In that moment, Imaizumi cursed time, because he had wasted so much of it, desiring this for so long when he had found it many years ago. But he also blessed it, praised it, thanked it, because now was a new start, now was a long awaited beginning.
Every moment counted, and Imazumi would rejoice in every single one.
Notations:
Wow… so this happened.
Written when I was mildly inebriated and looking at… questionable fanart on a lonely Friday night. Bad combo, friends. Bad combo… hopefully it'll still makes sense when I am sober. If there is an annoying amount of errors, I blame alcohol.
Mood Music: Come Undone by Carina Round feat. Aidan Hawken