Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII, I just wrote this story.
A/N: So, today I decided to dig into the annals of my Random Notebook, the place in which I write random stuff about random things. It usually involves Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, or some combination of the three sleeping on couches.
I'm not kidding.
Also, I'm pretty sure this qualifies as crack.
Hot Like Genesis
Lazard Deusericus rarely, if ever, visited the flat in which the three SOLDIER Firsts lived in. He knew they were quite strange, and even stranger at home. Lazard wasn't exactly sure what their deal was, but he was more than certain it had something to do with a thousand-and-some inside jokes combined with the intimate knowledge the three had of each other's personalities. That, plus the fact that they spent far too much time with each other garnered most of the strange things the Firsts were apt to say and do. But today, Lazard had to deliver a mission summary to Sephiroth, and for some reason, Zack's cell phone was turned off. Lazard couldn't send the 2nd to do his work for him, unfortunately, so he had to visit the Firsts himself.
Angeal answered the door, muttered a quick, "hey," and went back to the phone in his hand. He was calling a cadet from the sounds of the conversation, likely the one Zack was best friends. Apparently something was on fire. Lazard hoped it wasn't the barracks again, but he decided not to involve himself. It seemed like Angeal had things under control. "Yeah, hang on a second, Strife… Lazard, Genesis and Sephiroth are in the back, I think," Angeal said, holding the phone away from his mouth for a moment and waving in the general direction of the hallway. Lazard nodded and headed to the back of the apartment.
When he entered the first bedroom he found, he noticed Sephiroth lying on the bed, reading what looked like LOVELESS. A set of black-rimmed glasses rested on his nose, and he had his feet up on the headboard, his curtain of silvery hair spilled over the back of the bed. He tilted his head back, staring at an upside-down Lazard. "Hello, Director," he said, rolling onto his stomach and sitting up, then removing his glasses.
"I brought this for you," Lazard said, handing the General the sheaf of paper. Sephiroth flicked through it nonchalantly and Lazard watched as Sephiroth's acid-green eyes scanned over the papers. He was about to tell Sephiroth what time the report was due when he was distracted by a soft noise floating through what he assumed was the bathroom door. "Is that… singing?"
"Mm," Sephiroth nodded in affirmation, rolling the sleeves of his button-up past his elbows. He had ignored entirely the fact that the shirt actually had buttons, which Lazard attributed to Sephiroth being used to having his chest bare. "It's Genesis," Sephiroth explained, "he sings in the shower."
Lazard gave the door another incredulous look when he actually caught a strand of the song Genesis was singing. Sephiroth was looking in the same direction, and he bolted up to bang on the door just as Genesis belted out, "Dont'cha wish you girlfriend was hot like meee!"
"Genesis, stop singing, Lazard's over," Sephiroth ordered, still pounding his fist against the door.
Genesis only shouted, "DONT'CHA!" more loudly.
"No, actually, I don't," Sephiroth sighed resignedly. "You know I don't even have a girlfriend," he muttered under his breath. The sound of the shower stopped and the door clicked open.
Genesis poked his head out, dressed only in a towel. "Yeah, but if you did, you'd wish she was hot like me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows and sticking his tongue out at Sephiroth.
Sephiroth slammed the door in his face.
"Do you need anything else, Director?" he asked Lazard, who was slowly backing out of the bathroom.
"…I think I'll be going now."