Convoluted Death

by SnowCrow L

A story about the world of Death Note with an outsider's prespective. Young Hensworth is wasting his life away, when the world plunges into a frenzy with the apperance of Kira and L. He believes they are both wrong, and decides to get involved in this battle of gods, finally giving some meaning to his life.

ConvoluTed DeAth

"Death Note based"

Volume i

Name: Philip Hensworth

Age: 18

Likes: Manga, Puzzles, Debates

Dislikes: Interacting with humans, Injustice

Spirit Song: Tristram

(no photo of jarbas was found , here's a partially close one, older though)

Name: Jarbas Arrington

Age: 48

Likes: Classical music, working for theHensworth family

Dislikes: Time off, Gossip

Spirit Song: Four Seasons

Name: Aimi Orihara

Age: 18

Likes: Studying, Fireworks

Dislikes: Ignorant lazy people

Spirit Song: Comptine d'un autre été - l'aprés midi

Name: Rosie Harvey

Age: 20

Likes: Video games,Genius, Sexual Harassment

Dislikes: Cockroaches

Spirit Song: 揺らぎを伴うデモンストレーション 氷菓

N = Narrator

J B = Jarbas
HW = Hensworth

OA = Orihara Aimi

TV it's a tv.. enjoy!

First chapter

(In some dark place)

N: 1... 1, 2, 3, testing testing, is this working? Ok then, So... There was a very smart boy, who lived in Japan and was sick of his every day boring routine, (Wait a minute... This story sounds familiar...) *cough cough*, anyway here's where it gets interesting, he was an emigrant who had went to Japan to be a mangako. The kid was still young, about eighteen, but having lost both parents at 10 and more recently his uncle he decided to "restart", using his uncle's inheritance.

His uncle Leonard had left him more than money though: he instructed his loyal long time servant, Jarbas, to manage his nephew's money until he was graduated, which forced the boy to... (Ok, seriously, who the heck is the crappy author of this thing? Has he really not told the name of the main character to the audience? Oh man... Why do I always end up narrating these lame stories...) *sigh*, where was I? oh yes, which forced Phillip Hensworth to live the same crappy routine most humans live. However, for better or for worse, everything was about to change...

(In the Hensworth manor)

*Jarbas Walks into to the room*

JB: *massive british accent* Would you like some tea, sir?

HW: No, thank you Jarbas. And i already told you, you don't have to dress like a steward anymore.

JB: Oh no, thank you sir, but as you know since i was 18, i started working for your family who always treated me very well, so i don't intend to stop now. Hmmmm...

HW: What's the matter, Jarbas?
JB: Oh, nothing sir...

HW: C'mon, Jarbas, what's on your mind?
JB: *sigh* I was just wondering if Master Leonard wanted me to die rich.

HW: ... *stops drawing* (-.-") Why is that?

JB: Well, it's just... It's been 2 months since college began and I haven't seen you pick up a single book to study.

HW: Oh Jarbas, Jarbas... For one to acquire knowledge, one must first feel at peace with himself and the world. Are you at peace, Jarbas?
JB: Of course sir, but how is that relevant?
HW: Well take for instant the fact that my uncle didn't specify how well I would have to do in college, only that I would have to graduate

JB: Nooo, sir please! *fear in his eyes* Please, you must reconsider! To throw the Hensworth name into the mud! You mustn't do such a thing! Think about your uncle's reputation!

HW: Alright, alright, let's see the grades of the first exams. They probably came out already, anyway.
JB: (Did he not check the results yet? Dear lord…)

HW: *Goes to the computer* *opens the college website* there, see?
JB: Average grades to all the subjects...

HW: Now, Jarbas please, I'm working on a new idea.

N: And so he was, with his average grades on his way to an average life, probably living of his uncle's money. But...

(The next day in a "mini-market")

(Light tests the death note, in a criminal he saw on tv)

N: Philip Hensworth was making the usual week shopping (Jarbas always wanted to do everything but he had a different opinion), and the owner of the shop was watching the news. They were reporting that a man named Otoharada Kurou was holding 8 hostages in a nursery school. Inside the shop, and paying close attention to the news, were two old ladies, with a very …"religious" look. As soon as they heard about what was happening, they both looked at each other and started praying for the lives of those hostages, like they were in their hands. *Sigh* Humans... Ok, meanwhile…

HW: *Sigh* (Geez... what are they doing, even if you pray, it's not like the captor is going to surrender himself or let the hostages go, give me a break...)

TV: This just in! It seems the hostages are leaving the building!

HW: (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!)
TV: The police is going in, it appears Otoharada is dead!

Old ladies: Oh, praise the lord!

HW: ... (If someone had killed Otoharada, they'd be condemning him for all eternity, but if it's god, everything's fine…)

(In Hensworth room)

HW: *Laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling* (That was pretty weird, and way to convenient... Actually, I don't ever remember hearing about a hostage situation where the captor simply collapses like that...) Pfff, what am I thinking... I need to train drawing my manga's main character.

(Six days later in college)

(One day after the G8 summit where "L " announces he has taken the case and also one day after Light and Riuk meet)

*During a class*

N: Hensworth overhears a conversation. About more than a 100 hardcore criminals suddenly collapsing of a heart attack in their prisons cells, their homes or even in the street, all around the world.

HW: (Are these guys talking about some kind of game? No, wait, Jarbas did mention that some very famous criminals died suddenly, but he didn't say there were these many... Could this be related to the situation that happened the other day? Naah, there's no way... At this scale, it would have to be some kind of extreme, giant organization, trying to make the world a better place. This is crazy, what the hell is going on?)

*And then, the girl next to him whispers*

Orihara Aimi: Hey! Hensworth-san! You're spacing out again! Do you seriously not care about your grades? Oh well, if you're happy with average...

N: Shush, just five more minutes *gets hit with a book* Ok ok! so I probably should introduce her: This young… lady is Orihara Aimi, Hensworth college classmate. She's that kind of honor student who gets top grades at pretty much everything. Apparently, the only reason she even talks to Phillip it's because, despite being only average, he's the second best in class, and there's no way she would talk to "less intelligent forms of life" (these are her exact words…). On his side, Hensworth makes no effort to talk to anybody, so they are kinda a perfect match, ahahaha those losers xD *gets hit with a hard cover book* (I'm saying no more!)

HW: Aren't you losing the explanation about physical applications of differential equations?

OA: Meh, i already studied that last month so i'm good, what are you spacing on about?
HW: That's a surprise, Orihara Aimi in a talkative mood during class?

OA: Are you deflecting my question?

HW:

OA:

HW: (busted... xD)

OA: So you're not gonna tell me ? Fine! Like i care what your stupid head is thinking anyway!

HW: (This is why i stopped trying to talk to people) I was thinking about what those guys over there were talking.

OA: Oh ye i know, the mass murder worldwide case?

HW: Aha! so you also weren't paying attention!

OA: I already told you i know what the teacher is talking about! Anyway they say that someone called Kira is behind that.

HW: Kira? Like someone with superpowers?
OA: Yes.
HW: Pfff, that doesn't make sense, there's no such thing as superpowers.

OA: Well, what's your explanation?
*Class ends*

HW: We can talk about that tomorrow. I have some stuff i got to take care off, goodbye.
OA: Ok! See you tomorrow. Try to study! : (

HW:*Waves goodbye*.

As Hensworth was on his way to a small manga convention in tokyo he started thinking that, if the situation of the captor who suddenly collapsed wasn't a coincidence (and it couldn't be), then this Kira guy had to be somewhere around Japan, where the news were being broadcasted. That's when he started listening from afar:

TV: "We are interrupting the program to bring you a live globally televised broadcast from Interpol".

HW: (What?! This has to be about the mass murder worldwide criminal killing!)

N: So he started running towards a big screen in the street. When he got to the screen a man was being broadcasted saying:
TV: "I am Lind L. Tailor, more commonly known as "L" the solo person able to mobilize police in every country world wide".

HW: (Does a person like this really exists?)

TV: "Criminals have been the target of a killing spree which has turned into the biggest mass murder case in history, this monstrous crime must be stopped at all costs "Kira" as the perpetrator is commonly known will be caught. I guarantee it".

HW: (Monstrous crime hein? Isn't Kira making the world a better place? Didn't those criminals deserve to die? Honestly, as long as Kira doesn't target innocent people or doesn't start killing people just because they shoplifted or something on those lines, he should be allowed to "cleanse" this world).

TV: "Kira. I think i've got a good idea of why you're doing this. But what you are doing... IS EVIL!"

HW: (This was bound to happen. They probably won't catch him that easily, so i guess it's ok)

TV:"Police worldwide have launched a coordinated investigation. " (some seconds later) *the man on TV dies*.

HW: (What the hell?! Was this "L" guy a bad person? Why did Kira kill him?!)

TV:*Now with a big "L" on the screen*

(TV) L : "I... I don't believe it...""This was an experiment to test a hunch i had, but i never really thought... Kira... You can kill people without direct contact... So my hunch was right... I couldn't believe it until i saw it with my own eyes but you can... it didn't make sense otherwise..." "Listen to me, Kira if you just killed lind L. Tailor the man you saw on your TV, he was a condemned criminal schedule to die today, at this hour. His arrest and conviction were kept secret from the media, and went unreported even on the internet" "Even you had no way of knowing about him, it seems..."

HW:(Even though it was a criminal, Kira was trying to kill L, which means he's not just after every criminal, he's also after anyone who tries to oppose him! I don't know how his power works but i bet he could find a way of doing everything without having to kill anyone who tries to catch him, after all he can kill anyone without being present. It seems Kira is evil after all...)

(TV) L :"But I L do in fact exist. So come on! Kill me if you can! What are you waiting for?" "Come on! Go ahead and kill me! I'm still here. Can't do it, Kira?" "Evidently you aren't able to kill me."

HW:*Confused*... (Until now Kira only killed people he could see on a picture or live like just now. There's no way he would need to know the voice or the smell and still kill so many around the world, plus the only information he could gather by looking at the screen a moment ago was the name and what Tailor looked like. Just that was enough to kill him.) (But now without a face or the real name he can't kill "L"... I think it's safe to assume he either needs the name, the face or even both to kill someone)

. . . . . ... Am i that easy to kill, to this guy?!

(TV) L:"Now i'll give you some information in return. Although it was announced that this was being televised globally, actually it was broadcast only in the kanto region around Tokyo, the plan was to broadcast live to other areas in turn but that's no longer necessary. You are in the kanto region of Japan Kira."

HW: Hehe... (It seems this L guy is not that bad)

(TV) L:"Although the police have missed this, your first victim was the shinjuku killer who took 8 people hostage in a nursery school"

HW: (Really? The police missed that? Oh well...) *sigh*

N: Uuuuuh, the police missed something, surprise, surprise! Pardon my interruption, but can anyone in the audience, please explain me why the police on animes and manga are always so freaking weak?

(TV) L:"This case was reported only in Japan nowhere else... That was all the information i needed. I knew, Kira, that you were in Japan! and that your first victim was nothing but a guinea pig for testing your powers! We broadcast first to Kanto because it has the largest regional population in the country. That you happened to be there was pure luck. I didn't expect this to work so perfectly according to plan but... now i dare say it may not be so long before i send you to die. Kira, it would interest me greatly to know how you carry out your murders... but that's something..."
"I can find out after i catch you!" I AM RIGHTEOUS!" "Till we meet again, Kira."

HW: (Seems things are getting interesting after all... I might not have time to finish my mangas "name", now that i have a real plot in the world...)

Second chapTer (Part i)

(The next day in college)

OA: Hey Hensworth-san! Do you believe what happened yesterday, i mean, that was weird... Did you figure out why L couldn't be killed?
HW: Of course i have, but that's not the most important thing right now, i'm concerned that kira might end up messing this world up, think about it, sometimes justices fails and innocent people are arrested, is it really ok to kill someone without being certain of their guilt? Not only that, as we saw yesterday he will kill anyone who opposes him even if they're honest and innocent people, that's where he's really messing up. (I should have been the one to get that power)

OA: I see... So you wish you had that power instead of him?

HW: well i didn't said tha... *Aimi interrupts him*

OA: Are you crazy?! Do you know what that kind of power would do to you? Or to your mind?!

HW:I don't know why you're so upset, it's not like i'm gonna have the power by simply wishing it.

*Class starts*

HW:(Yet... it's true, i do think i'm the one who should have that power, Kira is crazy! L on the other hand puts the lifes of criminals before the safety of the innocent! none of them are doing what's right... I should try and do something about it!)

(I already had some luck, even if i didn't receive the power i live near enough to someone that has it, which means the police and maybe even L will establish their central base somewhere around. I would just have to find the place where they conduct their interviews, they should also have all their task force close. If got access to the police files i could find out what L is doing...) (heheheh, i would know all the data they acquired with the resources that only the police has, even more, i would probably be able to know what L is thinking)

*Hensworth notices that Orihara is staring at him*

OA: If you let your grades fall below average i will personally kick your ass!

HW: Yes mam.. (Scary... I better pay attention to class...)

*After the class*

HW: (So, how can i infiltrate the task force...)

OA: Hensworth-san!

HW: (Geez... I just need a moment)

OA: I was thinking maybe we could go to the library to study together!

HW: You?! Studying with other people?!

OA: I simply don't want everyone to think that i am friends with a slacker!

HW: Oh really... Then why don't you simply stop talking to me?

OA: And who else should i grace with all my intellectual property? Everyone else is even more stupid then you!

HW: (This one has problems...)

OA: Sad right? Anyway let's go to the library!

(In the campus library)

HW: (The task force is compose by agents from all ages, which means probably most of them are family guys, since this case is top priority they must have a ton of people working on it, also this college is the one with the bigger number of students in tokyo, i'm sure there must be someone around here who's father works on the task force)

OA: (Oh, you got to be kidding me!) Even when it's just the two of us you space out?! Do you have some kind of attention disorder?

HW: The only thing that keeps distracting me it's you...

OA: (Does that mean that...) *Face starts to get red* Just study!

HW:*Starts doing some exercises while he's mind is elsewhere* (They probably have that information on the college "student data base", if i could get some time alone with a computer in the ...) *gets interrupted* (Again...)

OA: Errr, Hensworth?

HW: ... yes?
OA: What did you mean when you said that i was distracting you?

HW: ... Well i got a lot on my mind and you keep interrupting me all the time.

OA: *Hits Hensworth*, just study ok?!
HW: ( But that's what i was doing...) (Anyway i need to get one secretary away from her desk and copy the files to my pen... I should go there to see if anything comes to mind) *gets up* Well this was some good work we did here, i better not push my weak brain, i might not be able to handle it.

OA: We've been here for less then 25 min -.-, oh well suit yourself i'm gonna stay and study.

HW: Ok good luck, cya tomorrow.

OA: Bye!

*Less then 5 minutes later*

OA: (That was strange... Why would he accept studying with me, just to leave that early. Pfff who cares?! Probably just went home to draw manga... Just that? He's up to something. Why do i even care?)

...

... ... ... ... (A gotz to know!)

*Gets her things and starts running*

(Not very far away)

HW: (Here it is. I'm lucky the office is in a place anyone can go or stay without raising suspicion, the security is almost nonexistent, there's a camera there and they lock the door when they close the office, they have an obvious blind spot of the camera, which leads to the offices entrance, they really aren't very concerned about someone going into the office. Well it's getting late i should go home...)

*Two people leave the office saying goodbye*

Secretary: Well sorry about leaving you alone today, but we really need to go to that meeting with the sub-principal a bit sooner.

HW: (If she's alone... I can't risk being caught entering the office after it closes, and because this is the last shift no one else will come, i don't know how frequent these meetings are but it will be real troublesome to do this if there's more then one person around the computer. I have to take this opportunity!)

*looks at watch*

(damn it! there's only 20 min left until it closes, i need a plan and fast!)

*relooks at the watch*

(Damn it ! Already 4 min and i got nothing... damn pressure... what am i doing here... i'm risking to much, can i really step up against someone with superpowers who can kill anyone by just looking at them?! Or even someone that controls the police worldwide and it's said to be a genius detective) ...

...

...

(What the hell i'm i thinking here?! I'm Philip Hensworth! There's no time for doubt! If someone doesn't do something, this world will end up being controlled by a psychopath, or L will catch him and everything will stay the same! ... Just breath, calm down and focus...

I could try bribing and manipulating her... If i ask her to check my file she will see that i come from a rich family, plus i'm just asking for some harmless information, i can say some crazy story about being in love and that i'm just trying to find out who she is... No! That's not good enough! If one day something goes wrong she can easily point her finger at me, i have to do this in a way that no one ever finds out... I'm running out of time...)
Of course! How haven't i remembered this sooner?! Usually when you officially get in college they give you a bunch of papers with information about the college, i'm sure somewhere there, there's the number of the office *Calls home* Jarbas? i need you to send me the number of the college office... Just send it please! Goodbye.

*receives the number*

(Ok, i still have about 8 min, this part should be a piece of cake)

*Diles the number*

Hello? My name is Antoine Anselme *Trys to do his best french accent* I'm calling from the classroom 3.2 in the main building, there's an emergency situation! I don't have time to explain it but i was hopping you could send someone really fast, please!

(Ok, that should do it, fortunately there aren't any prank calls here, so she will take this seriously) *waits for a moment*

N: So you might be wondering why a french name? and a french accent? Well in the years Philip lived in England he usually went to France on his vacations, so (and i'm not sure) i guess he thought it would sound more realistic if he did an accent that he knows well, as he leads any possible suspicion away from him. Though as i said, i'm not sure, it's not like i can read minds.

HW: *Goes into the office* She sure left in a hurry... (Alright let's start looking... Here it is the student data base, ok now search for parents profession, working on the police, great now from the same list search for the ones who live nearby enough to be working in the task force, lets see if they specify their ranks... They don't... But using age and level of education i can get the detectives, ok great! I got to admit it, the data base is pretty organized and complete, just have to copy this files and i will be on my way)

*About 5 minutes earlier*

OA: He wasn't in the road that he usually takes to get out of the campus... (Is he still in the campus? What could he have to do at this hour? Almost everything's already close and there are no more classes today. ) Hmmm, well the management office might still be open, the building number 14, and some coffee shops, maybe he was hungry, or... noo. Could it be a date?!) * Starts running again*

N: I though she was the quiet type, always acting superior and now looks like a 10 year old child with all this energetic running around.

OA: *Relieved sigh* It's not a date... No point in checking the building 14, it's for university personnel only, i don't even know who uses it. Time to go home, or maybe... should i check the office?

N: Hohoho! If she goes there... I wonder what kind of excuse Hensworth would come up with...

...

Second chApter (Part ii)

MM = Miyake Masashi

(In Hensworth manor)

HW: *Looking at the computer screen* Here it is! All the information i need to infiltrate the task force... Let's see, if i search this names on facebook and on the college website i will be able to determine who's the easiest to approach and most likely to have a dad in the task force. *Checking some people's facebook* Hahahahah, it's incredible the information i can get, just by having someones facebook page and the colleges information combined, people this days really are careless. (They're so lucky i'm not a stalker... I can only imagine how easy it would be ...)

*20 minutes later*

HW: Jackpot! This guy is in the same year i am and has one class with me, plus he's a metalhead, i play guitar (a bit) and have a good music knowledge so i should be fine... Miyake Masashi... I'm gonna have to become a good friend of his, at least enough for him to invite me to his house.

(The next day in college)

HW: (Ok this is the class i have with Miyake, i'll have to sit next to him... Ok there he is!) *sits side by side with Miyake* *gives a quick look and puts on a friendly face*

*Aimi seats next to him*

MM: Errr... (I'm not getting any of this, still i should take some notes)*Writes something* well this seems right... *notices that Hensworth is looking at him*

HW:

MM:

HW: Well, what you wrote is right but you forgot to integrate. That's how the teacher got the area of the function.

OA: (Whaaat?! Hensworth is talking to someone? Just for me to actually be able to talk to him on daily bases took more then 2 months...) ... Ohhhh, so that's your type!

HW:*turns around* *hits Aimi*

MM:*Finishes doing some calculations* You're right! Now i got the same number the teacher got! Thank you!

HW: Sure! If you have any questions you can ask me

OA: ...

*10 minutes later*

MM: Hmmmm, i'm sorry can you help me with this one?

HW: Sure, sure!

*Class Ends*

HW: Hey do you want to lunch with me and Orihara?

OA: (WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?)

MM: (Hmm, i don't even know him... meeh, i guess is better than lunching alone and they seem like nice people) Hmm, sure : )

N: Well my friends, seems like when Philip wants he can socialize like it's the end of the world xD, who would have thought, anyhow, i guess the following scene describes the next days very well.

(In the campus cafetiria)

MM: Really?! Oh man, i love that band!

HW: Hahaha, and have you seen his new guitar? It has 8 strings!

MM: I got to check that out! Do you play guitar?

HW: Actually yes, i don't practice very often but i have it since i was 14, so i know my way around.

MM: Oh that's awesome! Maybe we could play together someday, something of that band perhaps?

HW Of course! That would be great.

MM: It's so funny that i met you, i was starting to think there was no one around who liked the same bands i do xD

OA: ...

N: Yeee... Poor Aimi, but that's how it was for the next days, during which...

(Oriharas house)

OA: Why has he been acting like this... he never, for once, went to talk with anyone else, even for me it was hard to pass that force shield, and now it's like he made an instant bff, that reminds me of the other day... *starts remembering what happened that day she went looking for him on campus*

(Some time ago)

*Orihara is going to the office*

OA: (It's not like i have a bunch to do at home besides studying, i'll just have a quick peep and then i can go home)

*Hensworth on the phone with Jarbas*

*Orihara sees a secretary running like baby jesus was just born*

OA: (What the hell... Seems like something bad's happening, hmmm. Well it's none of my business, i'm gonna check the office anyway)

*Hensworth is leaving the office*

HW: *Hears footsteps* (Back already?! No way! I can't leave, how would i explain being here after a fake emergency call... I will have to hide)

OA: *Gets to the office* (It's empty... but the door is open, anyone could walk right in there, if i'm correct they should always have at least 2 secretaries here... Either there's really an emergency or something weird's going on, the only reason someone would want the office empty is to go there themselves, which means that if this really was made on purpose, someone might be here right now... What should i do?)

HW:(The footsteps stopped in front of the office door, and now are leaving, could it be a student? No, they wouldn't leave... Why would someone come here stop in front of the door and then leave?)

*Hensworth leaves the office, uses the cellphone reflexion to see if there's someone on the other side of the wall*

HW:(This would be totally paranoid... but if the person who stood in front of the office just a minute ago was someone who knows that something weird is going on, they could be watching from a distance to see who infiltrated the office, that would be... In the main hall! Where you can see both exits of the building, my only way out is a classroom window. Hmmm, better safe then sorry!)

*After leaving from a window*

HW:(Ok! Let's find out if there really was someone who though it was suspicious the office being empty. To the main hall it is!)

OA:(No one is coming... Is someone still hiding there, or am i just really bored?)

*Hensworth stops at the main hall door*

HW: Orihara? What are you doing here?

OA: *Starts blushing* Errrrrrrrrr... Hey! I could ask the same weren't you going home?!

HW: I never said i was going home. So what are you doing here? Don't tell me you're waiting for some teacher to leave.

OA: Hahahah, you got me! ( What are you saying Aimi?! He's gonna think i'm a dumbass! ... Errr, i guess is better than "i was stalking you"...)

Sometimes when i don't understand a subject i come here after classes are finished to catch the teachers leaving, it's nothing to be ashamed about right?

HW: Why would you wait until closing hours then... (This is offensive... She's lying so bad it almost looks like she's trying to get caught, am i suppose to believe this? Orihara Aimi would never admit something like this so easily unless the real reason why she's here is way worse...) Hahahah just kidding, so that's it! Well don't worry your secret is safe with me

(Oriharas house in the present, late at night)

OA: (I wonder what he was doing there, after that i never heard about any emergency situation happening in the campus... So why was that secretary running? And why wasn't the other secretaries in the office... And now Hensworth thinks i'm a creep who waits for the teachers after classes, to clarify doubts without anyone knowing about it!)

(Hensworth manor)

HW:(Is Orihara on to me? She had to be the person who went to the office and then to the hall... I should be more careful around her, if she finds out, everything will become harder to do. Tomorrow we're suppose to go to Masashi's house if she's supervising my every move how will i copy the police files...)

JB: What's keeping you up so late Sir?

HW: Nothing nothing, just can't seem to be able to sleep tonight.

JB: I'll prepare some tea then, tomorrow is a big day! We can't have the young master half awake.

HW: (Yep, tomorrow is a big day indeed, it's the day i find out what L and the task force are up to! But...) Why is it that tomorrow is a big day Jarbas?

JB: Well Sir, if you recall tomorrow we have your beloved aunt coming.

HW: ... No way... W... Why? Why haven't you told me earlier she was coming? Forget that! Whyyy is she coming?!

JB: You see, i wrote it right there on the kitchen's calendar, and it was you who agreed to have your aunt visit us, at your uncle's funeral, remember?

HW:

N: Wow, there's really a lot of crying lately... This is starting to look like a drama series, geez! What a bunch of drama queens. They don't pay me enough for this... Wait a second... Actually they don't pay me at all...