So: first MacGyver fic EVER! I hope you like it.

Summary: (WARNING: spoilers!) this is a scene that came to me after Thorton was arrested. In that episode we found out that Nikki wasn't actually a traitor but a deep CIA covert agent. I think that, no matter the reason, she still lied to Mac and she still broke his heart. This is just a little scene covering the aftermath of that episode. I guess you could call it a tag. You can expect lots of angst and hurt/comfort because that0s what I like to do.

CHAPTER 1: Jack's apartment (one shot)

Jack couldn't help but notice the hunted look on his young partner's eyes as they drove away from the Phoenix Foundation towards the blond's house. What bothered him the most wasn't the silence, since they had spent hours sitting right next to each other on plane or car rides and had been perfectly content with enjoying the companionable silence; granted, it wasn't the norm for them, but it also wasn't all that uncommon, especially after a hard mission. What was making every alarm bell inside his brain go off was the way Mac sat perfectly still, with his left arm resting on his lap and his right elbow propped up against the window, a fisted hand supporting his chin and a faraway yet hunted look in his eyes. His breathing was normal, even and steady, and so unnervingly calm that Jack couldn't help but thinking that his thoughts were anything but. And, yeah, that was a contradiction that only someone who knew Angus MacGyver as well as he did could ever pick up on.

If the kid had been happy or simply content, he would have been fidgeting with something, whatever, in his hands; building something out of paperclips or just using his hands to gesticulate throughout a conversation, for which his breathing would be just a tiny bit faster, as if he had been doing some light exercise.

If the kid was angry, his breathing would be more pronounced with the effort of trying to keep his anger at bay, since he wasn't a guy to explode or let his temper get the better of him (that's what Jack was for, sometimes).

If he had been hurt, or in pain (physical, that is) his breaths would be coming in short gasps or be completely erratical if the injury was that severe (Jack had witnessed a few of those times and just the memory of them sent chills down his spine).

But when the kid's breathing was this even, so unnervingly calm and collected then it could only mean one of two things: either the guy was asleep (truly immersed in a nightmare free restful sleep) or he had retreated into that big and seemingly endless brain of his to try and deal in his own way with another different kind of pain… emotional pain. And since MacGyver was very much awake, staring out of the passenger side window into the already dark sky, Jack could only assume that he was battling an internal storm that consisted on one terrifying gigantic hurricane which's name could only be Nikki's.

The moment he made the connections, he took the next turn and changed his destination. The fact that Mac didn't comment on it was enough to tell Jack that he had made the right decision. His best friend, his brother (and, sometimes, even a son) needed him and he was ready to give him the support he was sure the kid was going to need.

When Jack reached his own building and stopped the car to wait for the gate of the parking lot to open up completely, the young boy (because to Jack's eyes he would always be a young boy grown up too soon) noticed his surroundings, apparently for the first time, and turned to the side. Voice unusually low.

"I thought we were going to my house?" he asked, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had misunderstood Jack when he said they were going home after leaving their work place.

"Change of plans" the older man stated as he moved the car forward to enter the building's parking lot and finding his designated space. As he parked the car, Mac eyed his partner quizzically, knowing that whenever Jack highjacked him to his apartment it usually indicated the older man wanted to fuss over him and his injuries. Except, this time, he didn't have any, so there was nothing for Jack to fuss about.

Jack chose to ignore him when he asked the reason behind the change of plans, instead making his way to the elevator and expecting his partner to just follow. Which he did, still wondering what this was all about. Maybe it was Jack who had gotten hurt during the mission and had failed to mention it (which would be awfully unfair from him since he was always at the ready to give MacGyver the dressing down whenever he failed to mention an injury, no matter how small). But thinking back on the past few days, he couldn't recall either him or Sarah getting seriously hurt, other than a few scrapes from running away from-

And then it hit him… Sarah.

Jack must have been feeling pretty down, given that he never got around to tell her how he really felt and she was going to get married within the next couple of days. Maybe his partner needed his presence to feel better. Maybe he just didn't want to be alone. Mac was okay with that, though; even if he wasn't in the best state of mind (because he knew just how messed up he himself was feeling inside) he would never deny Jack the comfort he sought. Jack was his best friend, his brother (even, sometimes, a father) and he would push past his own emotional turmoil to help Jack overcome his.

That's why he silently followed him into the elevator even when he got no reply to his previous question. When they reached the fifth floor, though, he couldn't help but ask as Jack unlocked the door to his apartment.

"Are you okay Jack?" not completely disregarding the possibility of him being injured "Is this about Sarah?" he realized he might have been a little bit blunt with his question when he saw Jack's expression; but what the blond mistook for a wince was actually surprise showing on the other man's face.

"Sarah? What-?" he finally opened the door and stepped inside, turning to let his partner in "No, it's not about Sarah" Jack wasn't going to deny that running into her again and working together right before she's supposed to get married wasn't a low blow to his emotions; but the thought hadn't even crossed his mind again when he had picked up on Mac's behavior.

"Then what's going on? I thought you were taking me home" Mac stated, walking right past Jack and into the apartment; an apartment he was all too familiar with, as was Jack with his own home. Jack didn't exactly know how to bring up the subject, since he really didn't want Mac to feel cornered and bolt from his sights.

"I thought you might want to hang here for tonight" he answered, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a cold beer; the only kind of beverage that always greeted him when he got back home.

"Why would I want that?" even Mac flinched at how rude and uncharacteristically that question sounded and maybe, just then, a spark of understanding lit up in his brain about what his partner had been implying. But only maybe "I mean, there's no particular reason why I would want to spend the night here. Not that I don't like it" he hurried to add "It's just that, what's the occasion?" Jack decided not to feel slightly offended by the harsh question, given how he knew Mac was starting to build up his defensive walls.

"I think that this past couple of days can be considered a special occasion" was his kind of (maybe not so) vague reply. He picked up a second bottle from the fridge and offered it to his partner, who (again, uncharacteristically) refused. This time, with a hint of annoyance in his voice, Mac asked.

"What are we doing here Jack?" okay, maybe not annoyance but anger; just slightly though "Neither of us is injured and if this isn't about Sarah, just what the hell is it about?" Mac knew, he knew, he might have been overreacting, but something about being tricked into coming here wasn't sitting well with him, not this time. Again, there was a small voice in the back of his head that told him this overreaction might have something to do with Jack bringing them to his apartment, but he ignored it, for now.

"Come one kiddo. You know this hasn't been a normal mission, even from the start" Jack decided to back down a bit, seeing how Mac was starting to get angry and knowing (from experience) that anger was the first step for Mac to admit that he was feeling bad, on the inside "so I thought there would be nothing wrong with hanging here for tonight. Grab a beer, maybe call for some pizza and just… decompress"

"You could have just asked me instead of kidnapping me" Mac replied, still with an angry tone. For a second there, Jack thought his partner was cracking a joke, about the whole kidnaping thing, but the look on the younger man's face was every bit as hard as it had been the minute before. Frowning in confusion, he took in the way Mac's body was tight and tense, his posture rigid and his front angled slightly towards the front door. He hadn't come close to the kitchen counter and hadn't shed his jacket yet. The posture screamed at him more that any words ever could: he wanted to go, he wanted to get out of there. In the past, whenever Mac walked through that door, he had been comfortable enough to show himself at his weakest and most vulnerable. He could be tense, yes; stressed, tired, hurt, but never closed off, not here, not in Jack's house. This was the only place he felt safe enough to let his guard down, not even getting that feeling a hundred percent in his own house. Jack knew that, Mac knew that… they both knew that even though the matter had never been openly discussed. So why was Mac feeling like he didn't want to be there? Why did he want to leave?

Realizing for the first time how serious whatever was going on with his friend was, Jack placed the almost full beer bottle he had been nursing in the counter and took a step towards Mac, a look or hurt actually reaching his features when the kid took a step back, away from him.

"Mac" he said, now somewhat uncertainly "What's going on?" now Mac was beginning to feel trapped. He knew what he had done, he had stepped away from his partner when he had taken a step forward. He had instinctively stepped away from the one person that meant security and love on an unconditional level and, for the love of him, he couldn't quite understand why. It had never happened before. Whatever he was feeling right now had never happened before.

Jack noticed the change in his partner's breathing the minute the kid had realized what he had done. Instead of the silent, almost calculated breaths he had been taking ever since leaving the Phoenix Foundation, louder more ragged breaths were making their way out of the young man and Jack knew they were the tale-tale signs of his partner starting to feel another pretty strong and unmistakable emotion: panic. Before he could decide between taking another step or keeping his distance to keep talking to the boy, MacGyver broke the silence with a question that was asked with a slightly higher than normal pitch to his normally deep voice. It was a tone of voice that made the hairs at the back of his head stand on end because it made the younger man sound like the twelve-year old kid who had just been abandoned by his father.

"Why didn't you just ask me Jack?" the hunted look on MacGyver's eyes turned even worse and he took another step backwards even though Jack hadn't moved again.

"I thought you wouldn't mind" Jack replied softly, trying to show the kid he wasn't getting altered by the situation. Trying to remain calm enough to inspire some confidence in him, a confidence he usually didn't have to work up since it always just happened by being together in the same room. Not this time though.

"You thought I wouldn't mind you lying to me!?" Mac asked, raising his voice a bit, not because he wanted to yell (well, not exactly) but because he was starting to run out of air and he couldn't bring himself to take a deep breath, which was making the trapped feeling be worse by the second. Jack was stunned by that statement and was getting worried about how frantic Mac's breathing had become. If he didn't slow down now, he would soon start to hyperventilate.

"What do you mean lie to you? I didn't lie to you" he said, again, keeping a firm hold on his composure even though his heart was racing inside on his chest. Mac brought a hand up to run it through his hair a few times before answering.

"You said we were going home and then you brought us here. You didn't ask if I wanted to come, you just decided for me" he had backed away enough now that his back hit the wall directly behind him and Jack actually took a few steps forward now that the distance between them had become too great.

"I technically didn't lie" Jack tried to use some logic to break through the state of panic his brother was caught up in "This is your home too, remember?" and it was, they both knew it was. But, somehow, Mac was blowing this out of proportion "come on kid, what's eating at you?" Mac brought his eyes down to the floor before speaking, now with real anger in his voice.

"I'm not a kid!" he yelled, bending down and putting his hands on his knees to try to catch his breath because he was starting to get dizzy "I'm not- You can't- Keep- I'm not- a-" Jack couldn't take it anymore. Mac was gasping for air and was starting to slide down the wall. The older man reached for him before he could fall to the ground and gently helped him easy the rest of the way down, glad that he hadn't flinched away from him or anything like that.

"Mac. Mac! You need to slow down. Take deep breaths" Mac had brought his knees close to his chest and had his elbows resting on them while he clutched at his hair with his hands and kept breathing like he couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs "Mac, listen to me buddy: you need to calm down. You're gonna pass out if you keep this up" but the younger man didn't acknowledge him. Instead, he started muttering.

"You lied… you lied to me… everyone does… everyone did… she lied to me… she always lied to me…now you lied…and Thorton lied…you lied to me… you lied to me" he kept repeating that over and over again, still fighting for every breath and Jack could swear his heart shattered into a million pieces right there.

"Oh buddy. I didn't lie to you, I would never lie to you" now Jack knew where Mac was coming from. He never realized his decision to go to his apartment would result in Mac breaking; it had been an honest mistake, but now he knew what his partner must have been thinking when they were inside the car. This must have been why he was retreating into himself. The last couple of days (actually, the last couple of months) had finally caught up to him and Jack taking yet another decision out of the kid's hands (even if it was something as trivial as where they would spend the night) had MacGyver reliving all the lies and deception thrown his way ever since finding out that Nikki hadn't died that dreadful night on Italy. Jack rubbed a hand up and down his face, making sure to erase all traces of moisture that could have turned up the moment Mac accused him, sounding so broken, of having lied to him, of having broken their trust "I'm sorry Mac. I didn't mean to blindside you into coming here if you didn't want to. I honestly thought you would be okay with spending the night here. You always do" he wanted to get that settled before he continued into more dangerous territory "now, please, you have to calm down. You need to take a deep breath and release it slowly" through Jack's inner reflection, Mac had still been struggling to breath and, at some point, he had closed his eyes; which is why Jack put a hand on his shoulder while with the other one he grabbed the kid's chin and brought it up a little higher "look at me Mac. Hey! Come on buddy, look at me" when he finally did, his eyes were troubled, his pupils blown wide and his brow was furrowed as if he was in pain "Now you listen to me carefully, I would never intentionally lie to you. Mac, no matter what other people do, I'm the one who never lies to you. You know that. No matter what, no matter when and no matter why, I never lie to you" his gaze was so focused and it held so much intensity that the blond had no other choice than to believe him, so ever so slowly, he began to slow down his breathing and to come out of his panic induced state. A glimmer of recognition settled over his face as he took in his surroundings and when his eyes finally settled back on Jack, his eyes started to well with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry" he blurted out, voice tight with trying to keep the tears at bay but failing miserably when they started to fall one right after the other "I'm sorry Jack, I'm sorry" one sob, the another and Jack reached to envelope the trembling figure into his arms. Heart-wrenching sobs were making their way out of the young blond, who had melted into the embrace, pressing his face against the older man's shoulder and grabbing the other man's shirt with tightly clenched fists "I'm sorry I stepped away. I'm sorry"

"Shh, shh… It's okay buddy, don't worry about that" Jack soothed, not caring that his t-shirt was already damp or that his back was protesting the hunched position on the floor. The only thing he cared about right now was the young (too young) boy crying his heart out right in front of him. Jack held on tighter and put a hand on the back of his partner's head, patting and waving his fingers through his hair in a motion that was meant to be comforting and fatherly, because this was one of the few times where the relationship between the two agents escalated from mere friendship or brotherhood to something else, something bigger. This was the time where Jack got to console the kid he never knew he wanted and Mac got to experience being taken care of by a father that would never abandon him.

After almost an hour, Mac began to reluctantly pull away. Not because he actually wanted to (he would stay like that for ever if he could) but because he knew Jack's back must have been killing him. Not that the other man would ever complain. And that, right there, was one of the perks of being in Jack's home. It was the only place where he wouldn't step out of a hug too quickly or try to keep his emotions in check. This was the one place where he could cry for days, or sleep, or do nothing or everything at once for days on end without feeling embarrassed or exposed. This was his safe heaven. Although, this time, he was feeling a bit of shame, not because he had cried or crumbled to the floor, and not because he had just had a panic attack, but because he had stepped away from Jack and he knew he must have hurt the man deeply by that.

"I'm really sorry about what I did Jack. Stepping away… I don't even know why I did it. I'm sorry" he said, not meeting his eyes and wiping away his face for the last remnants of his breakdown.

"I thought we had already covered that there's nothing to apologize for" Jack said lightly, making a small (if that) smile appear on the young flushed face in front of him "now, what do you say we get up from here? I don't know about you but my back is not very happy right now" he said, stretching to try and pop it. Mac winced and hurried to apologize for that.

"I'm-" but was cut off by Jack's pointed glare.

"What did I just say?" he asked, getting back to his feet and offering a hand to Mac.

"Right" the blond answered while accepting the help and getting to his feet as well.

"So, pepperoni or double cheese?" Jack asked, already reaching for his cellphone to place an order.

"Double cheese" Mac answered, although Jack had already known the answer. And, just like that, they went back to their usual routine of decompressing. There was need to hover over the incident that had just happened although Jack knew they weren't done talking for the night. He would eventually get his partner to confess everything that still had him somewhat withdrawn, but that could wait until after dinner. He was starving!

Once the pizza came and went, Mac finally accepted a bottle of almost frozen cold beer and sat on the couch nursing the bottle and staring at the tv that was playing a documentary on how industrial oil was produced. Jack wasn't a sucker for this kind of shows, but he knew Mac was, so he put up with it if it meant offering his partner a distraction from his own thoughts.

After maybe half an hour into the show, Jack was surprised by the kid breaking the silence.

"I just feel stupid" Mac stated, not taking his eyes off the television.

"Well that only says so much about the rest of us mortals, you know?" Jack half joked (half). Then, Mac turned to him, ready to let out what was bothering him so much.

"How could I have been so blind? To everything? How could I not notice that she was playing me?"

"I thought we discovered today that she wasn't really a traitor" Jack answered.

"Yet, she still played me. Traitor, CIA deep covert agent, it doesn't matter. What we had was a lie. Everything was a lie" he cleared his throat because he could feel it closing up but he definitely did not want to cry again. Not because he thought it would make him look weak (not much, anyway) but because he thought that, at this point, she didn't deserve it "I think I made a mistake Jack" that statement surprised him.

"Hey, she was the one playing tricks on you. On all of us for that matter. How come that be your mistake?" Mac shook his head.

"I mean, last night, at the hotel…" he left the rest of the phrase hanging, knowing Jack would get what he meant, a soft pink blush making its way towards his cheeks. Jack's too.

"Oh, well. You're not the first man to give into it with an ex and you won't be the last"

"That's the thing though. It didn't feel like 'giving into it with an ex'" he quoted "it felt normal, like nothing had ever happened and, for a moment, last night, I wanted things to go back to the way they were. But now… now I regret it because I feel like I let my guard down again and I just can't get her out of my head" he said, now actually feeling embarrassed at sounding like a teenage boy fussing about his first real heart break. Jack though (blessed, and caring Jack) he didn't joke about it. He took the matter seriously and offered his most sincere advise.

"I hear ya" he said "but maybe this is a step in the right direction to finally getting over her. What she did, it was bad, and it would be hard for anyone to get over it but you will kid. I know you will"

"I thought I told you I'm not a kid" MacGyver retorted back, without any real malice in his voice. Instead, a small (real) smile was tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Oh and here I was, thinking that gossiping about your love life was a dead giveaway" he joked (so much for blessed Jack). He found himself dodging a cushion and trying to maintain his serious (not really) expression. He couldn't help the grin that broke through his façade when he heard MacGyver laugh, getting up from the couch and asking him if he'd be okay with another beer to which, of course, Jack couldn't deny.

Eventually, the night dragged on and both agents said their goodnights before heading into their respective rooms (because the guestroom had totally been Mac's for some time now), not before Mac quickly strode towards the older man and, giving him a hug he had only reserved for his actual father when he had been still a part of his life during the first decade of his life, thanked him for always being there to pick up the pieces whenever he fell apart. If both men's eyes were a little watery after that, neither one commented about it. Not because they felt ashamed of it, but because no words were necessary. It was Jack's apartment after all; the one place where they could both just be themselves. It was a place that meat protection, security and unconditional love. It was home.

THE END – FINITO – TERMINADO

Geez! Was that too cheesy? I hope it wasn't but I have a feeling that it was. I've been thinking about writing MacGyver's fics for a while and this has been my very first shot at it, so please forgive me if the characters seem a bit OOC. I have a lot of ideas in my mind but, mostly I just write whatever I'm feeling at the moment to let out some steam. I'm not sure if I should make this a collection of one shots or if I should post every story I come up with separately. Every story would kind of be a one shot, so I'm inclining towards the first option.

Since all I want is a mechanism for distracting myself, I am totally open to receiving ideas, requests and prompts from anyone so if you'd like to read something specific feel free to leave a review asking for something specific. I'm a sucker for Mac whump, angst and hurt/comfort as well as a sucker for Mac and Jack's bromance. If you'd like anything along those lines… well, you know what to do. If you don't anyone to know the prompt came from you, you can also PM me and I will be just happy to comply.

Anyway, sorry for the long A/N and I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please let me know what you think of it with a review!