Disclaimer: No I do not own Inuyasha at all. Nor do I own the words that I used in the beginning. Those are actually Bonnie Mckee's lyrics to her song "Green Grass." All credit to her and her writers and such...
Author's Notes: This story is themed. I've written it to leave you thinking (or so it was my intent anyway.) I want you to come away from it thinking about life and such...Basically I've heard about a lot of people getting into car accidents in icy weather over the last few weeks. Alot of people have been hurt, and still others were brutally snubbed out of life altogether. It occurred to me that at no time in our lives are we guarenteed things. We're never promised tomorrow. Never. So I wrote about how I think the IY gang would handle one of their own dying abruptly, but the problem is she's not dead, she merely has amnesia. How will she reunite with IY and company? How will she remember who she REALLY is? I hope to tell a good story and also to make you think. Remember, this isn't just a fiction...truth is that something like death can come at anytime and for anyone. You may never get to have a chance to say goodbye, EVER.
Awakening
"…Am I dreaming?
Will I wake up years ago?
Am I dying?
I remember so long ago
When the sky was still blueI was welcomed and loved,
Not alone…"
The light flooded her senses, excruciatingly. Blinking like a newborn fawn, she tried to see, tried to make sense of her vision. Blobs of color and light flickered and wavered in her eyes, it was like being forced to stare at a horrendously blurry image…she could feel a pain starting behind her eyes, a steady throb, like the beat of her heart inside her chest…
Slowly she started to push herself up off the ground. Her fingers grazed softness, life. Her eyes saw dark and flourishing green.
Grass. It was grass, her mind whispered. Ignoring the throb in her skull she moved the fingers of her other hand. The surface below her palms was coarse, rough, and gritty. Her eyes revealed it to be brown…dirt.
Her neck protested when she tried to look around, andher vision blurred even more so then. For a moment the black edges of her vision began to close in, dots danced before her eyes, a sick little color show for her sight alone. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach.
Breathing heavily to recover for a moment, she became aware of a new thing within this world of feeling and sight—sound. All around her there were rustling sounds—and the sounds of liquid, a river or a stream, bubbling and trickling over the rocks, rocks she couldn't see…but there was one sound above these that she took the most notice of: voices.
"You'd better pray to Buddha that that stain comes out, Toka! Mother will kill you if it doesn't!" it was a high-pitched voice here, light and melodious, young and sweet. She tried to turn her eyes toward the sounds, tried to see them. Though she couldn't truly understand it yet, she needed to see them, needed to hear them…
"But why should I have to do this, Shisuki? You're the girl…" this voice was darker, rougher. In her mind she imagined the coarse brown of the dirt beside the soft green of the grass.
"Yes, but you, Toka, not me, stained her finest kimono…how did you manage to spill so much onto her clothes? None of yours were touched!"
"Ah shut up! How would you know anything?" the other voice huffed, indignantly. The nameless listener felt the corners of her lips twitch, trying to form a smile, though she gave it no thought, and wouldn't have truly been able to comprehend it just yet. Something danced in her mind, a memory, or rather, a shadow of a memory, whisperings, hints of one. She saw a flash of red and white, and her own words reached her… "You jerk!" but none of it made sense. She shook her head, and took a sharp breath, panicking, when the pain in her head swelled and bloomed…
The voices had stopped. She didn't know where they were—she couldn't see. And the pain soon stopped her from caring.
"What is it?" the rougher voice asked, stunned into stupidity.
"I think it's a girl, Toka…"
"But she isn't…normal…look at her clothes sister!" there was a pause before he added, "She must be a demon, or a spirit…"
The other voice scoffed. "You're so quick to judge negatively. Just like Father and Grandfather. You're just like them." confusion swept over their nameless listener as small vibrations in the ground reached her, announcing that the soft-spoken voice was approaching. What should she do? Was it something to fear?
A warmth, a presence, came next to her. She moved closer to it, cautiously, and yet she was so drawn to this other thing, whatever it was, with the soft voice and the warm presence. She opened her eyes as wide as they would go and tried to see the shape before her. Colors molded together, blue, a streak or two of whitish-yellow, black and the golden sheen of flesh. Some of the golden flesh reached for her and she almost drew away, but the movement would hurt her neck so she remained still and let whatever it was come at her. Warmth touched her brow, gentle and comforting, much like this presence's voice was when it spoke. A name for what was touching sprung to mind suddenly. Fingertips…the thing touching her was like her, she realized, human, though even that thought was brand-new and thought altering in itself—to know what she was…
"Shisuki! You stupid…"
"Look at her, Toka! She's been hurt…do you see, here, on her forehead, the bruises? And her clothes are soiled, her hair's a mess!"
"So what!"
The fingertips of the soft-spoken Shisuki withdrew from the nameless listener's vision. She tried to blink and focus on the flesh that was surrounded by a blob of blackness…Shisuki's face…
"Toka, you pig! Look at her! She's harmless!"
The nameless girl shakily lifted her fingers and reached toward the other girl, Shisuki, whimpering. Though she heard the sounds that snuck from her lips she didn't recognize them, didn't realize thatshe was making them. And she didn't understand that with the proper manipulation she could make the same sounds and words as both Toka and Shisuki. But none of that mattered to her now, only her outstretched fingers, reaching, reaching, longing for the warmth of the other girl's touch…
"Shisuki! She's going to hurt you! Look out!" there were terrible thudding vibrations suddenly and the nameless girl looked up—although the sharp movement hurt her neck—and saw a separate blob of color dash forward toward her, violently. She cried out, her unused voice squeaking in fear.
"Toka, baka!" Shisuki caught the younger boy in her arms and kept him from lunging any closer to the nameless girl, who had closed her eyes at Toka's approach and was cringing inward on herself in fear.
Toka and Shisuki paused a moment then, both seeing the nameless girl again, taking her in. She was lying on her right side only a few feet away from the shores of a small but eager little river that flowed out of the mountains and passed their village. The girl was wearing a strange long-sleeved shirt that was mostly white, yet its collar seemed to be green. A pleated green miniskirt completed the attire. To Shisuki and Toka—natives of Feudal Era Japan—it was a most bizarre ensemble. Not only were the clothes strange, they were also dirty. The shirt was brown with various shades of mud…and possibly blood. The skirt was wet and discolored as well. Around the girl's feet there were what had once been white stockings, they were now greenish brown from river debris and mud. There was a lot of bruising along the girl's forehead, and a nasty gash on her neck too. She was in rough shape—and clearly confused.
Toka shrugged himself from his older sister's arms, frowning unhappily. The boy was about twelve, his sister about fourteen. Both of them had dark brown eyes and straight black hair. Toka wore his hair cropped short while his sister let hers flow long and unrestrained. Both siblings wore short kimonos that allowed for free and quick movement, letting them work long and hard as their rural lives demanded.
"She's a mute, sister." Toka grumbled, eyeing the nameless, speechless girl before them with disdain, "Her village probably threw her into the river because she was of no use to them, just another mouth to feed. Look at her! She's dumb!"
Shisoki looked, just as her brother commanded. The girl had come out of her cringing position and was once more blinking like a confused fawn, as if she couldn't see them…
"I think she's blind!"
"Oh merciful Buddha! A dumb mute and blind girl washes up on our river's shores!" Toka whined.
Shisoki threw him a withering glare. "Shut up. She's been hurt. You know that when people are hurt they can become dumb in the head for a while, but they'll come out of it."
Toka snorted, "This one won't, I'll bet you on that."
Shisuki turned to look back at the girl, frowning angrily at her cruel brother. "I'll take you up on that one, Toka."
"What?"
Shisuki edged forward slowly and reached out cautiously toward the nameless girl, brushing her mangled, dirtied, messy hair away, gently. When the girl started at it and rolled her brown eyes about, trying to watch her hand, trying to see her face, to make sense of the world around her…there was a light in her eyes, a thirst for knowledge. She hadn't always been this way; she wouldn't stay this way…Shisuki bit her lip with sudden determination.
"Yes, I'll bet you a week's chores that she'll come around right as rain after some rest and some care from Mijai."
Toka gaped at his sister. "No way!"
Shisuki turned to smirk at him, "That's because you know that I'll win."
"No…"
"Then come and help me carry her." his sister rose to her feet, moving slowly so as not to startle the nameless girl. Carefully she knelt again behind the strange girl, who had struggled to follow Shisuki's movements, and started to take hold of her. The stranger whimpered and made a noise like a moan, but as soon as Shisuki had a firmer grip on her, and Toka came forward, grumbling the whole way, to help by holding her lower half, the girl's distress seemed to disappear. Instead she tried to see them, blinking furiously, making noises like a very young child might, trying to learn how to speak.
"I think she's dumb. She might not have been dumb before her trip in the river," Toka grunted as he and his sister started to walk, carrying the strange girl between them, "But she is dumb now."
Shisuki only shook her head. "I know she's not. She'll be okay, you'll see, as soon as Mijai has a look at her we'll know…"
The dust had long since settled into the grass. The pig demon's blood had congealed into a sick gel that marked where its foul body had fallen—and withered into nothing but hot air. Yet its stench still lingered, even to mortals. Sometime, Inuyasha thought, when I am slaughtered in battle, will I fall like that, leaving my blood to congeal and stink while my body turns to thin air? The thought made him sick to his stomach—it always had—but this time in particular it affected him badly.
Inuyasha's ears perked up, listening attentively.
In the distance, at the edge of the cliff, beyond where the pig demon's blood still lurked disgustingly, Inuyasha heard and saw Miroku chanting his ancient prayers for peace and serenity, for comfort to those in the afterlife, to those that had been lostfrom the land of the living. To even the hanyou's highly developed and sharp senses the monk's words were almost incoherent, and his form against the setting sun's dying light was nothing but a shadow, a silhouette. Inuyasha knew that although Miroku was struggling to hide it he was sobbing as he prayed, it made his words thick and clotted, like the pig demon's damned blood. The hanyou didn't know where Sango or Shippo were. In all honesty he'd ceased caring…
He closed his eyes and looked away from the monk's shadowy form in the distance, away from the terrible cliff and it's coldhearted sharpness, its ugly, horribly truth…but in his mind he couldn't stop himself from remembering, couldn't stop himself from seeing her die…
The pig demon had charged them from the mountainside. It'd sensed the Sacred Jewel shards that Kagome wore about her neck. Lunging straight for her it'd nearly gotten her before Inuyasha could even draw Tetsuseiga…the pig had managed to pin them in the meadow, trapped between the cliff and the mountainside, the huge demon itself had blocked them all from escape…and he was after Kagome. Despite their stench and their ugliness, pig demons—even the huge monstrosities like the one that'd attacked them—were highly intelligent, conniving creatures. It kept them close to the cliff, leaving them little room to maneuver, and no room for Miroku to safely use his kazaana without sucking up Sango, Shippo, Inuyasha, Kilala, or Kagome. Inuyasha's more powerful strikes, such as the wind scar, were impossible to use as well, for the same reason. Sango had had similar trouble with her hirakotsu. Kilala was the only one that'd been able to escape the pig demon's lunges and swipes almost immediately.
Throughout the entire affair the pig's target was obvious. It wanted Kagome and the Jewel Shards. Of course Inuyasha stayed beside Kagome, protecting both her and the shards at once. But in the end it didn't matter one bit…the attack happened so swiftly, and was over so fast as well, that Inuyasha was still stunned by it. One moment they'd been fighting it, dodging its attacks, and struggling to get a chance to make their own, when the pig charged Kagome abruptly, wildly. The girl backpedaled, stumbled, and slipped…but her feet slid and she met nothing but the air.
Inuyasha could still hear her scream as she fell into the open space toward the water far below…but his rage, his grief, overcame all other memories of the battle. The next thing he'd known the pig demon was dead, its blood spilling into the innocent meadow's green grass. And he'd been standing over it, shaking, and screaming Kagome's name into the sky…
But although he and the others had looked over the cliff, Kilala had even flown along the river's length some distance, searching; there was no sight of Kagome. Inside each of their hearts a sickening despair bloomed as reality hit them: even if a mortal could survive such a fall into the water they'd have been knocked unconscious. Under the water she'd have tried to breathe—and she'd have drowned…
Now the hanyou sat high in the lofty branches of a tree skirting the clearing where the pig demon had died—and where Kagome…lovely…beautiful, Kagome…his Kagome, had died…
On the cliff's edge where Kagome had slipped away from them so unfairly, the monk's prayers had ceased. His shoulders sagged in defeat, in grief. A sound rose from him—for a moment Inuyasha thought it was laughter, but with a jolt he realized the monk was sobbing, openly. How terribly, despicably ironic it was, the hanyou thought, that wracking sobs could sound so much like laughter…
From across the meadow Sango, Shippo and Kilala appeared, all of them moving slowly, as if in a dream. They sat around Miroku and all four were soon sobbing and holding each other in their shared misery. Inuyasha watched them without expression, half wanting to join them, half wanting to jump from the cliff and follow Kagome…
After a moment, still watching his four friends mourning without him, Inuyasha's sight wavered, his golden eyes filling abruptly with tears. The dam inside him had shattered…suddenly he could no longer think straight. He had to leave the meadow, had to leave the others.The pain inside threatened to kill him…he leapt through the trees, a spirit, a beast not quite alive.
As the moon rose into the velvet of the night sky an eerie cry rose through the blackness, like the cry of the lone wolf. Mortals for miles around shivered and retreated into their homes, praying for safe passage through the darkness.
In the village where Shisuki and Toka watched over a nameless girl as she slept heavily in the futon they'd provided her, the siblings shuddered. Was it an omen? Had they made a mistake taking in the strange and wounded girl? But what had been done couldn't be changed now, and so the night wore on, and the girl continued to sleep...
Endnote: No this isn't the end yet. The next chapter IY regrets some more and we see whether or not the nameless girl shall recover. For future reference: This story won't be as long as my other saga "So Much for the Hanyou's Happy Ending." Or at least I don't plan on it being that way. There will be a bigger and better plot though as time passes. Kagome recovers (but here she won't be called "Kagome" b/c she doesn't remember her past yet) and becomes integrated with the villagers. I have Shisuki and Toka speaking of Kagome as "dumb in the head." That was on purpose b/c these people don't have the conceptof retarded or handicapped. They just know when someone isn't as right as they should be. So I tried to mold their language differently.Also I have a collaborator with me this time, she has dibs on a future character or two. I'll tell more when they come...till then I look forward to seeing if anyone likes this one. Until my other saga is finished this one is secondary to it tho...so, yea, if you get bored look at that one kay? (grins)b/c that one's gotta come first. Ihope to make this one nice and fluffy later on...All who review get answers at these endnotes from now on...Till next time...BBYE!