August 31, 2015 – Blackmail Marriage

Summary: **Part of the 2015 LiveJournal's Twisted Shorts FaD** challenge. To save a boy – and thus the world – Buffy has to do the unthinkable…get married.

Challenge: for the livejournal 2015 August Fic-a-Day Challenge

Timeline: October 31 - November 1, 1981 for HP; post-season 3 for BtVS (slightly AU for both)

Warning: Using the Marriage Law craziness for this.

A/N: Not part of my 'Project Hogwarts' fic. I know it's evil to do this on the last day, but Musie couldn't help it.

Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. HP characters belong to JK Rowling. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Leaky Cauldron

'It shouldn't be this hard to save somebody,' Buffy thought with a barely-restrained sigh. She hated the Powers That Be – or whoever it was that gave her the stupid dreams – for doing this to her. Not to say that it would have been simple in the first place. Having a dream that she had to rescue and raise a magical baby so he could stop an evil wizard when he was older had all the makings of being a Disney movie, and she was afraid she was being set up as the evil stepmother somehow.

To make it worse, she'd be a single, teenage mom. But at least with the new Slayer who took over after the Mayor ate Faith during his ascension protecting the Hellmouth, Buffy didn't have to worry about that interfering with her maternal duties.

But then this Dumbledore guy had to show up and threaten to make life difficult for her if she didn't turn Harry – the baby – over to him so he could give the boy to his mother's sister. When she refused, one of his minions pointed their stick thing at her and chanted something like 'oblivious' at her…she wasn't sure what it was supposed to do, but she could guess that it wasn't of the good. She grabbed the stick and threatened to shove it someplace sticks shouldn't go if anyone tried that again.

That led to the revelation that she was the Slayer…or one of two, actually, but she wasn't about to mention where the other one was to these buttheads.

"He needs the safety provided by living with a blood relative," Dumbledore insisted.

Buffy grinned at him; Harry's honorary uncle suggested she get a blood test done by the wizard's bank to see if she had any magical blood in her background. Turns out she did. She handed over a certified copy of her heritage and said, "Good thing I'm James' second cousin, then, huh? My great-grandmother was a…squid sister to his great-grandfather? Why would they call her a squid? Was she in the Navy?" she asked, having gotten the term wrong after the goblins told her about her great-grandmother.

"Squib," Giles corrected her.

That didn't clear it up for her either. "The stuff they use in movies to fake bullet hits? Weird!"

"It needs to be his mother's family," Dumbledore said, choosing to ignore the tangent.

"I've seen his aunt. First, she wants to have nothing to do with Harry; she even said she'd put him in foster care if he was given to her. Second, I could easily protect him better than she could. And as a bonus, I'm able and willing to teach him about the supernatural world," she added.

"He can't be a part of the wizarding community until he gets his Hogwarts letter," Dumbledore objected. "His fame in our world could go to his head."

"That doesn't even make sense. Is there something special about the age of…" Buffy looked at Giles for an answer.

"Eleven," he replied, knowing she wanted to know when they started school.

"Really? How do they learn before that? Never mind, why wouldn't his fame go to his head if he found out about it when he was eleven?" she asked a bemused Dumbledore.

McGonagall couldn't help but smirk at his discomfort. She wasn't sure about handing Harry over to this young lady, but except for Death Eaters, she couldn't think of anyone worse to raise him than Lily's sister, Petunia. "Yes, Albus, why wouldn't it go to his head when he starts Hogwarts?" she inquired as well.

"And it would be up to me as his mother to keep him humble. Even if I failed, I think a slightly healthier ego is less important than being thrown into the deep end of the pool by dumping the truth on him ten years from now," Buffy shot back before he could answer.

Dumbledore felt himself being cornered, and it didn't help that his deputy was turning on him. He might be able to stop her from getting custody, but it could cost him more than he was comfortable with paying. He had one more crazy idea to get her to give up…he only hoped it would work.

"I can be reasonable," he began, fooling no one with his turnaround. "I won't object as long as you agree to one condition. A favor for me."

McGonagall thought for a second before realizing what he was going to ask. "You can't be serious, Albus. That's asking too much of her!" she protested.

Already leery, Buffy turned downright suspicious at McGonagall's reaction. "What's the favor?" she asked. Her dream was very clear that if she didn't raise Harry, there'd eventually be a war between the supernatural and natural worlds with everyone losing in the end. To prevent that future, she'd probably have to agree to this favor, whatever it was.

"Our latest war killed a lot of bloodlines, and put several others at risk of being killed off entirely. To save our community, the Ministry passed a marriage law that any unmarried witch or wizard still capable of procreating must find a spouse and have a child within eighteen months," Dumbledore explained.

Buffy really, really hated the PTB now. She'd have to find a way to track them down and turn them into living pretzels. "Who?" she bit out angrily.

"Me," Dumbledore replied. "While I am older than most wizards and witches impacted by this law, I am still able to father a child – as was proven by a test at St. Mungos. I am not fond of the idea of taking a wife, but I cannot hold myself above the law. Normally your being a Muggle would be an issue, but since you are the Slayer, you are magical enough."

"You don't have to do this," Giles interjected, sending a glare at the headmaster. "We'll find another way."

"And we might fail," Buffy said. "You know I can't take that risk, Giles. Okay, if we get married, is there some magical reason that says we have to consummate the marriage?" she asked the wand users.

"Not specifically, but we must have a child together; we cannot just adopt one. The child must have magical parents. They will do a blood test to prove parentage," Dumbledore warned her.

"Yeah, but there's a way around that using modern medical procedures. We'll use artificial insemination to have our required kid," Buffy said. She muttered to Giles, "I'm willing to do a lot to save the world, but that doesn't include Gandalf."

A/N: Not as deadly to Dumbledore – fortunately for him – as the time they forced her to marry Lucius (in my story 'The Widow Malfoy'), but she still isn't giving in easily.