Disclaimer: Not mine. Never was. Never will be. I'm just having a little fun here.

A/N: this was my first EVER Remus/Narcissa fic!! woohho!! and yeah, it has remained for years my favorite fan fic that I have ever written, I love it -strokes nightmare- I'm not sure if you guys can see the picca below, but yeah ... I was bored. This was first written around December 2002. love it or leave it. No flames!

The round light, closer and closer it came. I struggled at the tight leather bonds that held me to that spot. My bones, they were transforming, they were growing much too large for my lightly tanned, scarred skin. Thick dark hairs began to emerge over my back and hands, I swiped painfully at them, my nails already much stronger than usual. Suddenly under the stress of the transformation, the bonds break. I was free. I tilted my head towards that fantastic bright shiny object in the black sky, an I howled. The grounds were covered quickly now I was on all fours, I lifted my nose, quivering to catch her scent. Tonight I would administer the bite to ensure she would be my mate for life. Foolish, silly little girl. There she walked, the light illuminating her silver blond hair, it bounced so innocently around her shoulders. I loped towards her, she turned, but too slowly. Her beautiful face twisted in a scream as I lurched, open jawed, to clamp my mouth around her neck.

************

I woke with a start, drenched in a cold, clammy sweat. A set of glasses swimming in my groggy vision, James.
"Moony, are you alright? You seemed like you were having some sort of fit." he said
I shivered, trying to bring myself back to reality, it had seemed so real, it could be real. I could not let that happen to her, she was too important. "Yeah I'm fine, just a bad dream, Sorry that I woke you."
"You didn't wake me, I couldn't sleep anyway, the big match is tomorrow" he smiled "and Lily will me there. Maybe you should take a shower, it usually make me feel better."
"Yeah, I might" I commented moving towards the door, but stopping to turn back, James was beginning to climb back into bed, "Don't worry about the match, you'll be great, actually more than great, you always are."
James grinned in thanks and I slipped quietly from the room.

************

As I sank into the bubbles in the massive tub in the bathroom, I thought of my three best friends.
James - Perfect. The best quidditch player the school has ever seen. Beautiful Lily never leaving his side. Always knows what to say in every situation. Prongs.
Sirius - Popular. The best brain I have ever seen, never works, always 100%. Too many girls to count entering his four poster at night. Always smiling. Padfoot.
Peter - Comedian. silly little Peter, always the joke. Takes everything in his stride, the private-on-the-side best friend, always quietly comforting. Wormtail.
And me - Scrawny, Scared, Scarred. Moony. There werewolf, the one who's always "sick", the weirdo.
I glanced down at my body through the water, scars ran like contour lines across every inch of skin, unlike the other boys my legs were still matchsticks, my voice was still breaking. I sighed, how could I ever win her affection?

************

It was the early hours of the morning when I finally fell asleep. But I was woken a few hours later by Sirius, who decided to practice his chaser skills by throwing the quaffle on my head.
He leaped on top of me screaming "Moony!!! Wakey Wakey Sunshine!"
I opened one amber eye, grunted and attempted to roll over. He held one strong hand on my arm and prevented any movement. "Piss off, Padfoot" I replied.
"How Rude!" he exclaimed mockingly, he did however let go of my arm and dismount rather hastily from my bed.
"Scared I might bite you?' I asked. Quite childish really.
He looked at me quizicaly, then laughed, it was a hollow fake laugh and somehow it made me sad. James however stepped between the awkward situation in which I had placed myself, with a loud "TA DA!"
He looked marvelous, perfect quidditch robes, a single red rose clamped firmly between his teeth. He then continued to give us his final dress rehersal for his proposal to his dearest Lily.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? ... Thou art more lovely and more ..." his voice seemed to disapear like an early morning fog in my head, there she strolled, upon my mind, turning and twirling, the fog dancing with her. Narcissa. "I Love You" I whispered.
"Pardon?" Sirius inquired, interupting my imagination. I glanced at him blankly, clearly at loss of what to say, how much had I said out loud?
James thankfully did some quick thinking, "good idea moony. Of course I left out the most important part, I love you." he said evenly, eyeing me carefully a little smile playing in the corners of his mouth. He knew! how could I think no one would notice!
"the ring's nice" I commented, trying to create a diversion by looking at the beautiful diamond in the ring's center.
"thanks" he answered "Jackie helped me pick it out, I really had no clue what was good or not, it's sort of a girl thing."
"Yeah Jackie is good, isn't she?" Sirius laughed, James stared at him.
"No I don't know Padfoot, but please don't enlighten us."
Sirius looked slightly disappointed.

***********

I dressed quickly and went down to the pitch early with the team. I sat on the stands waiting for the rest of the school to emerge from breakfast. As I sat there, on those cold, wooden stands, some movement caught my attention. And there she was, running on the snow covered pitch, a ball of snow clamped in her tiny rainbow mittens. she was laughing and the sound was electric to my ears. My heart burned. there a few paces behind her ran Lucius Malfoy, so much power and a sense of presence that was hard to forget. It was painful to see the girl I love in the arms of the man I despised. It was common knowledge that Lucius was a right hand man to Voldemort himself, perhaps she would be better of with a werewolf. But I could never let that happen, I would never risk her safety for my heart. My throat began to prickle uncomfortably, my eyes stung, my heart exploded. A gentle hand was placed upon my shoulder.
Lily's clear voice ringing through the air, "Remus! You haven't seen James have you? He said he needed to see me urgently!"
"I need to go." I whispered, the world spinning, my body racked with pain, I ran.

.end.