How I Met Your Mother: BONES Version
Like the show HIMYM except with Bones Characters. Booth is telling Christine the story of how he met her mother, Bones. Just like the show. It's a long story…
"Have I told you the story of how me and your mom met Christine?"
"Um… no? Didn't you guys meet at work or something?" said a 12 year old Christine.
"Your mom told you her version of story, didn't she?"
"No. Aunt Angela did."
"Well there is a little bit more too it than what she said. And that's the story I'm going to tell you."
"Oh boy."
"Oh come on kiddo, don't sound like it's the worst thing in the world. It's a good story."
"Something tells me it's going to be a long one. And what if I have homework?"
"Like you didn't already didn't finish your homework. I know you and your mother."
"Darn, I can't get out of this, can I?"
"Actually there is quite a few humiliating stories in it and things mom wont tell you."
"Did you say humiliating?"
"Did I?"
Christine paused and had a face similar to her moms when they are thinking about something.
"Okay dad, go on."
"Well it started like this…"
It started back in 2000. I was in DC still working for the FBI. My life was looking… well lets not say. You don't need the details. Either way it was looking down. Until one day when I was hanging out with Sully, an old friend from the FBI, I saw a someone hanging out by the bar that caught my eye.
"Camille?" I said
"Seeley? Long time no see. And don't call me Camille." She said
"Don't call me Seeley."
"I haven't seen you since new york. How's the FBI up here treating you?"
"What about you? What are you doing here?"
"Just visiting."
"We should see each other again soon."
"We should."
"And the rest you don't need to know the details of because we dated for about a year. And that was your aunt Cam."
"SERIOUSLY. You dated aunt Cam? Dad. Really? Is this a joke? Was life that bad?"
"That's your aunt Christine. Be nice."
"Still. Is that necessary to tell me?"
"Trust me. It all adds up."
"As long as it doesn't take for ever."
"I'll just continue"
"I'm sure you will."
ANYHOW. Soon after that, something amazing happened.
"You… met mom?"
"No actually."
"WHAT!"
"Trust me."
"Then… what's taking so long?"
"Hey! If I knew her since 2000 all this would have gone faster."
"No kidding."
SO WITHOUT INTURUPTING. I was at the grocery store. I was well, buying food. And as I was in the checkout line.
"Cash register girl."
What?"
"You asked out the cash register girl."
"NO. Christine, I'm not that desperate! Or cliché"
"Sorry. I thought you would have."
"You are definitely your mothers child."
Christine smiled proudly.
"Now, can you stop interrupting."
"fine"
I looked behind me, and saw a woman struggling to get some of her groceries onto the conveyer belt.
"and that was mom."
"no. stop interrupting."
"Geesh."
"we would get to the humiliating parts faster if you stopped interrupting."
"SOLD."
"hey, do you want some help with that?" I asked
"um... sure. Thank you." She replied
"what is all this stuff for? If you don't mind me asking."
"a friend is having a party. I offered to get all this stuff."
"that's nice of you."
"it was more of an I-owe-you thing. I may need her later."
"hey, whatever works."
"exactly. I'm Rebecca."
"Seeley."
"that's not mom."
"no its not."
"would you like to go out sometime?" I asked
"sure,"
"oh come on!"
"what?"
"I don't want to know who you dated before mom!"
"this is a very important part of the story!"
"just cut to the chase, dad!"
so, time went on. We dated for a long time. Until one day…
there we were. Sitting on the couch. Waiting. It was the longest 4 minutes I think I have ever gone through.
"what about the time when…"
Booth gave Christine a look.
"rrrriiiiiggghhhtttt." she made a zipping motion over her mouth.
I fiddled with the contents of my pocket. Only a minute had passed since she had returned. I knew I should just ask the question. I mean I loved her right? I did. Right?
"will you…"
"don't think about it Seeley." She said
"how do you know…"
"you were going to ask me to marry you?" she said simply
"well… yeah."
"I know you. You are doing it because you think its right."
"look, no matter what the test says…"
"no. actually. We broke up remember? We only got back together recently because I came to you saying I think I'm pregnant."
"but…"
"no. I'm sorry. I… want to do this on my own."
Then the timer went off signaling time was up.
Rebecca launched herself to the table.
"its positive." She said.
"wait a minute…is that Parker?"
"you are correct, missy."
"so… that's when you found out about Parker… how does that fit in with how you met mom?"
"it is a process."
"dear gosh… you need to stop watching CBS."
"why?"
"doesn't any of this remind you of a certain sitcom you had me and mom watch?"
"I don't recall."
"never mind. How did you find out about me?" she popped up
"that's a story for another time."
"is that story as long as this one is?"
"shorter. This one would be almost done if…"
"I shut my pie hole."
"I wasn't going to sat that."
"same difference."
"in what way?"
"you know, I still haven't heard anything humiliating yet."
"I just told you Rebecca rejected my proposal."
"that's not per say humiliating. More of like a good tragedy. Because if she didn't reject you, you wouldn't have met mom and I wouldn't be here."
"I like to think that your mom and me were meant to be together and we would have eventually."
"but then all the stuff that Aunt Angela told me wouldn't have happened and you guys wouldn't have the same relationship. I still probably wouldn't be here."
"how much did Aunt Angela tell you?"
"more about you and mom then you are now."
"I really need to tell her to stop telling you and Michael so much about our lives before you guys."
"Michael told me Uncle Hodgins is worse."
"I'm gonna get back to the story."
"maybe you should."
So, Rebecca did this alone. It killed me. She didn't want me there. But she did allow me one thing.
"I want you to pick his name." she said.
I had only had found out that it was a boy about a week ago. Rebecca had stalled and had know for a while.
"why?" I asked
"I know this is hard for you. With about to be deployed in a couple of months and this. Especially not being as involved as you want. I figured I could at least give you the honor of naming your son." She smiled sweetly.
"thanks, but I couldn't."
"no. I want you to. I trust you too."
"fine. Thanks."
"no problem."
"That's sweet of her."
"it was nice."
"is the story of how you're picked Parker's name as long as this?"
"that is a sad story so I wont even acknowledge that."
"oh… sorry I asked."
"hey, maybe Parker will tell you. He knows."
"next time he's over I'll ask"
now this is where it gets tricky. I was sent off with the army before your brother was born.
I was still here in DC but I wasn't allowed to leave the base. But I did. I snuck off base to the hospital when I heard your brother was born. I was soon brought back to base after Walter Sherman found me. That is also another story. But not the point. I was sent off for sometime.
"where you going with this dad?"
"trust me kiddo. You are definitely your mothers child."
"you still haven't gotten to the humiliating."
"you are really stuck on that huh?"
"you promised."
"when did I say the words I promised?"
"it was implied. It's the only reason I am still listening."
"Well I will just get on with it then."
"I think I should hear something humiliating first."
"what do you know?"
"how bout I just tell you and you name things"
"stepped in remains?"
"which time?"
"any of the five?"
"I have heard 5 separate stories."
"okay… shot clown?"
"you shot a CLOWN?"
"clown speaker."
"yeah. That Gordon Wyatt guy told me when Mom took me to his restaurant."
"HEY! Isn't that confidential."
"not when mom started the story"
"when I pronounce the squint stuff wrong?"
"you get stuff from my shows and books wrong."
"point taken… what about what happened around Christmas 2009?"
"what happened Christmas 2009?"
I got a call for a bank robbery in progress and was on my way to check it out. I will spare you the details but… remains got all over me.
So I had to go to the lab as I was now evidence. To the amusement to your Aunt Cam.
Your mom was trying to get the bits off me and it involved… taking off my clothes. All of my clothes.
And as your mom was taking off my pants… Aunt Cam walked in.
"NO WAY!" Christine smiled. She was laughing hysterically now.
"that's not the worst of it."
"THERES MORE!?"
"I still had to get witness statements so I had to be wheeled out onto the platform, sitting on an autopsy table… in my underwear."
Christine burst out laughing again. She laughed so hard she fell off the couch onto the floor and continued laughing and started kicking her feet into the air.
"I am so happy you take such joy at the cost of your father." Booth said sarcastically.
Christine started to settle down. "I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry." She said trying to keep a straight face. It didn't last long. She was back to kicking and laughing on the floor.
"Booth… what you do to her?" Brennan came in from outside along with Christine's younger brother. He immediately went to watch his older sister literally ROTFL-ing.
"just telling her the story of how we met." Booth shrugged.
"oh… she already knows how we met."
"she doesn't know my story."
"Booth, she's hysterical… no don't poke your sister with the giant level." She scolded the 8 year old that had grabbed the giant level and was about to do exactly what his mother suspected.
"oh… hi mom." Christine said once she had calmed down.
"hi Christine. Are you okay?"
"did dad really get wheeled out to the platform in his underwear?"
"yes."
"oh dad…"
"well me and your brother are going to go wrap these gifts for Michael's birthday. Booth, please do something with that level. Your son is obsessed with that thing and is going to hurt himself or someone else with it eventually."
"got it Bones. Christine lets go do something with your giant level." He smiled as he watched Bones walk out of the room. "now can I finish the story?" he asked his daughter as she went to grab the level.
"the embarrassing one, the level story or the other one?"
"the other one."
"please continue."
When I came back, I was in a funk. I had missed so much of Parker's life. And now that I was back, Rebecca had an iron fist. It was so difficult to see your brother. I had only seen him ever so often. I had joined the FBI again. But I wasn't happy.
That carried on till 2004. When I was asked by a mother to help solve the murder of her daughter. I had to first get the body that was found in New York when she was from DC. So I had to ask the only person I knew. Your Aunt Cam.
"yeah, I can get you the body. And the case." She said and she also told me to go see a doctor Temperance Brennan.
"That's MOM! Were almost done the story!"
"that's right. It's your mom. But we are not done the story."
"oh COME ON!"
"sorry."
"b…b…but no?"
"it's a bit more complicated."
I went to go see your mom. She was giving a lecture and I walked in.
She was talking about god knows what and I wont try to understand. But I came up to her after words and asked her about the evidence well, not being on bones. She told me other wise.
"Are you a student here?" she asked
"Special Agent Seeley Booth from the FBI."
"I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute."
"Do you believe in fate?" I asked
"Absolutely not. Ludicrous." She said
"she still doesn't." Christine pointed out
"and I still do."
"you want to know what I think?"
"what is that?"
"that both of you are crazy."
"says the kid that picks a level as a game gift."
"I thought it was a giant tube of licorice when it was wrapped up. so, can I go? You got to the point where you met mom."
"give it a minute."
"fine."
We successfully finished the case. But, we hated each other. In fact we couldn't be in the same room together for a year. Until…
"you had them stop her at the airport from homeland security so you had to pick her up. Which was all just to get her to work with you on a case. Then she blackmailed you into full access and the rest was history."
"wow. Aunt Angela?"
"you bet."
"I really need to talk to her about that."
"so... is that it?"
"yes that is how I met your mother. Seven years later she became your mother."
"SEVEN YEARS!"
"I know."
"Daddy, I am ashamed of you. You are both some of the smartest people I know, and it took you both SEVEN YEARS to figure that out."
"you make it sound bad."
"it is bad."
"let me explain. It was very complicated. We had to figure out a lot first."
"dad, you better have a real good explanation for this."
"what do you want? Me to tell you EVERYTHING that happened in between then to when you came?"
Christine thought for a moment. "yes that's exactly what I want."
"how about another time?"
"same time next week?" she asked
"we'll see."
"I want to here it dad."
"I'm going to help make dinner. Want to help too?"
"don't change the subject!"
THE END
THANK YOU FOR READING! i hope you have enjoyed the story. the only way to know is if you review... ;p hope you all have a happy new years for 2013!