Chapter 1

Mooney's Tears

It was an ordinary evening for Lilly, she was in her dorm room doing her charms homework when there was a knock at the door. She looked up confused. Everyone was in the dorm Alice, Marleen and herself. who would be knocking on the door. She looked around to see if any of the other girls were expecting anyone. Nope they looked just as confused as her, so Lilly got up and opened the door slightly to see who it was. The second she saw who it was she threw the door open. "Remus what's wrong". Remus was standing outside the door tears streaming down his face. "Lilly" Remus sniffed and threw his arms around the red head and began sobbing. Lilly pulled Remus into the dorm sitting him down on her bed. Alice and the other girls came up to the crying boy "oh honey what's the matter" Alice said wrapping her arm around Remus's shoulder and rubbing his arm comfortingly . While Marleen fetched some chocolate for him. After a few minutes of comforting from the girls Remus was calm enough to talk "ok" Lilly said, "now tell us what happened". Remus sniffed wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Sirius and I had a fight…well more precisely I told Sirius something very important and he flipped out" the tears had started again. Lilly gave the other girls a look and they all made their way back to their own beds giving Remus a few sweet words before leaving. Lilly climbed onto her bed with Remus closing her curtains and placing a silencing charm up. "ok tell me what this is all about" Lilly was looking right into Remus's eye. "I already told you" he sniffed looking away.

"no, I want the whole story" Remus sighed in defeat he had to tell someone and he couldn't exactly talk to James and Sirius well he took it very badly. "well you know that Sirius and I have been together for the past year right" Lilly nodded "well…it turns out that it is possible for wizards to get pregnant". Oh, shit Lilly knew where this was going "and well I wasn't feeling to good so I when to see madam pomfery and well apparently I'm 3 weeks pregnant". Lilly's only thought of what to do now was hug Remus, hug him close and let him continue with the story. "I knew I had to tell Sirius, so when we were in the dorm alone I sat him down and told him that I was pregnant with his child and he … and he" Remus was sobbing again and buried his face into Lilly shoulder. "he yelled at me screamed that it wasn't possible that I was joking that he couldn't be a father …. He scared me Lilly … for the first time ever I was scared Sirius was going to hurt me so I ran out as fast as I could and came straight to you" Lilly just pulled Remus close rubbing his back confidingly "hush Remy it will be ok, it will be ok" that was the only thing she could think of to say.

….

(with James)

Just as James was about to enter the dorm room he shared with his best mates, when he hears an almighty crash and "Fuck this … FUCK!" James opened the door and stood their shocked. The whole room was a wreck, it looked like a tornado had been through their room; books thrown all over the place, bed spreads tossed on the floor, a few broken things scattered here and there and in the centre, was Sirius pacing kicking and throwing anything that he deemed to close to him. "HOW JUST HOW" Sirius screamed this time he kicked one of the wooden bed frames splitting the wood. "Whoa! Mate what the hell happened" James had only seen Sirius like this a few times before and it never boded well. Sirus span around just noticing James for the first time and seeming to calm slightly at the site of his best friend. "it's Remus he … he ARRRHHH!" Sirius just flopped down onto his bed. "fuck" he huffed out covering his eyes with his arm.

James picked his way through the dorm room minding all hazards. He sat down next to Sirius "all right mated spill what's happened". Sirius just shook his head having moved from anger to stunned silence.

"did he brake up with you" James asked he honestly count think of anything else that would explain this. Sirius head shot up "what! No"

"then what, what could little Remus have done or said that caused you to throw a full-blown tantrum" Sirius rubbed his face with his palms trying to marshal his thoughts. He let out a long breath and in a calm voice asked, "James did you know guys could get pregnant" James's eye widened

"yh I know mum and dad told me when they gave me the talk why?" he was looking at Sirius suspiciously now "well turns out that Remus is 3 weeks pregnant" James's jaw hit the floor, he knew that they were together and assumed they did stuff but this was a shock and a half. "shit" James breathed out

"shit indeed…. what am I going to do James, I can't be a dad? I mean me a dad what kind of sick joke is that" suddenly James was very angry at his best friend "what do you mean you can't be like it or not mate you're going to be, I mean unless Remus wants rid of it" Sirius felt his stomach drop and he felt sick.

"he'd never do that" Sirius said.

"so, you're going to be a dad" suddenly James stopped and looked around the room.

"but James, I don't know the first thing about being a dad, and my parents aren't going to win any awards for how they raised me"

"where is Remus" James asked ignoring Sirius previous statement.

Sirius looked very guilty "he ran off"

"ran off"

"yes, James ran off"

There was silence for a moment then throw gritted teeth James said "you didn't yell at him did you…. You didn't say anything to hurt him did you" Sirius stayed silent sitting up and looked at his hands "Sirius what did you do" James said as calmly as he possibly could.

"I freaked ok I freaked out, I said that it was impossible, that I couldn't be a dad that he was joking and then I smacked the wall and he ran off" James was trying hard not to hit his idiotic friend.

"you what! Did you think for a moment… god Sirius the poor guy probably thinks you hate him that you don't want to be with him now" for the first time in ages Sirius looked up

"what? but I do I love him"

"well this" James gestured to the torn-up room around them "is not the way you react when the person you love tells you that they are pregnant" Sirius eyes now shined with tears.

"oh god James. what have I done? shit he'll never want to see me again I've lost him" Sirius felt like he was going to throw up. James just shook his head patting Sirius's shoulder "no you haven't, you just need to talk this out like adults" Sirius nodded. James mad his way to his trunk and fished out the map. "where is he" Sirius asked, "before I tell you tell me exactly what you're going to say to him"

"but"

"no buts Sirius tell me"

Sirius took a deep breath and thought about what he would say to Remus, after a few moments he spoke "I'll tell him that im sorry about the way I acted, that I love him, that I will support him throughout the pregnancy, that I will be there for him and our child and that this was the last time I will ever throw such a childish temper tantrum" Sirius looked at James for approval. James nodded

"good you tell him exactly that you hear me" Sirius nodded "alright, he is in Lilly's dorm, be careful she's probably out for your blood by now" Sirius gave a quick nod then dashed out the room.

"what a hell of a mess" James sighed, he wasn't quite sure if he meant the situation with Remus and Sirius or the room. He decided to start tiding the room removing all traces of Sirius's tantrum.

…..

(back with Lilly and Remus)

Lilly had been holding Remus tight for what seemed like hours, finally Remus had cried himself out and they now sat in silence holding each other. Finally, Lilly spoke "you know I love you right" Remus could only nod in response "and no matter what Sirius dose I will be hear for you and the baby" this brought a small smile to Remus's lips. "the ministry doesn't like single werewolves to have children, my baby will probably be taken from me the moment they are born" Lilly knew Remus was fighting tears again "I won't let that happen, I'll marry you if needs be".

Remus laughed "I don't think James would be too happy about that"

"he'll understand hell I'll have to fight him for you". The mood lifted and a weight seemed to lift from Remus as he realised he wasn't alone, his friends would help him even if Sirius didn't. then a knock at the door dropped the mood instantly. Remus gripped tighter to Lilly. "If that Sirius I swear im going to kill him". Lilly got up from her bed bending to kiss Remus's forehead before striding over to the door opening it just enough to see who was outside. It was Sirius. Lilly stepped out of her dorm closing the door behind her. Facing Sirius, she fixed him with the most hateful gaze she could muster "how dare you!... do you know what I have been doing for the past hour! …. Well do you!" when Sirius didn't reply Lilly continued "comforting Remus poor thing knocked on my door in tears because of you" at this the tears Sirius had been fighting won and spilled over running down his cheeks, and he crumpled to the floor "oh god Lilly I'm sorry I never meant to hurt him, I have no excuse for how I acted I was an ass but please let me talk to Remus I need to talk to him please" Sirius looked up with pleading eyes. He looked so vulnerable so broken and Lilly felt some of her anger dissolve but not all of it. "fine" Sirius look so hopefully "but only if Remus wants to talk to you" Sirius just nodded. Lilly ducked back into her dorm walking back to Remus. Who had pull the curtains over "its Sirius he wants to talk to you, do you want to talk to him" Remus was silent and after a moment shook his head "not right now I need more time" Lilly just nodded, walking back outside to Sirius. When she came back outside Sirius was standing looking at her pleadingly "he says he needs more time" at the words more tears fell from Sirius eyes, he grabbed is hair in frustration "oh god Lilly what am I going to do"

"you're going to give him time Sirius remember you started this" Lilly was now using her stern voice the one she used only when they marauders had really messed up. "can you tell him something for me" Lilly nodded "tell him that I love him and that im sorry" there was so much more he wanted to say but he needed to say it himself. Lilly just smiled softly at Sirius "of course I will" with that she turned away from Sirius and back into the dorm.

"well what did he say" Remus asked from her bed. Lilly sat next to him and pulled him into a hug "he said that he was sorry and that he loves you" Remus nodded mulling the words over in his head. "do you think I should talk to him?" Remus asked looking at the door, "when you're ready yes" Lilly replied. Remus cast a quick tempus spell to check the time it was 8:00 Sirius wouldn't go to bed till late. Remus though he probably be ready to face Sirius in an hour or so but he just needed to be held right now. Right now he needed to feel safe.

An hour past and Remus had collected his thoughts he felt calm and strong enough to face Sirius. And had decided with or without him he was going to have and raise this child. "I think I'm ready now" Remus breathed out a sigh "are you sure?" Lilly asked concern filling her eyes. "yes" with that Remus got up hug Lilly one more time thanked her and walked out of the dorm.

Now Remus had prepared himself for many things in the past hour; a break up with Sirius, being shouted at again and what he hoped for the most, for Sirius to apologise and tell him that he was going to be there for him but what he hadn't prepared for was Sirius being outside the door the moment he left Lilly's dorm. Sirius was huddled by the wall facing the door. The moment Remus stepped out Sirius was on his feet. There was a moment of silence before Sirius spoke. "oh, Remy im so sorry I was a complete and utter ass and I should never have shouted at you, I love you with all my heart" Sirius saw how Remus relaxed as he spoke. Mustering all his Gryffindor courage he took a step closer to Remus they were barely a foot apart now. Sirius reach a hand out to touch Remus's belly. Protectively Remus wrapped his own arms around his stomach. "I love you" Sirius said softly "I love you and the baby if you'll let me I want to be there for the two of you, I want to be with you through the morning sickness, the cravings and the mood swings. I want to be there when the baby wakes us up at 4 in the morning needing to be fed…. Please Remus let me be there for you and our baby … please". Remus let his hand drop to his sides allowing Sirius to touch his still flat stomach. There was a moment of quite as Sirius ran his hand over Remus's stomach. Remus studies Sirius's face and all he saw was love and wonder. "of course, I'll let you be there for us, I love you Sirius" Remus pulled Sirius into a hug. "oh, rem im so sorry I'll never do that again I promise. I love you, thank you" Remus smiled into Sirius's hair. Sometimes he thought he forgave Sirius to easily but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to care.

When they pulled away from each other Sirius was smiling at Remus "we are going to be a family" Sirius said rubbing Remus's stomach. "yes, yes we are". Together they walked back to the dorms both knew that Sirius would need to prove himself but that was a matter for another day, right now they both just wanted to cuddle up in bed and hold each other. When they open the door to their dorm James was waiting for them. Remus could hear Peter snoring in the background. "I take it you made up then" James said gesturing to their interlocked hands "yes Sirius apologised and promised he wouldn't act in that manner again and said he wanted to be here for me and the baby" James nodded looking at Sirius "got your work cut out for you mate" Sirius just smiled. The pair sat on Remus bed as James drew his curtains wishing them a good night. When the curtains of Remus's bed where drawn Sirius turned to Remus "Remus I'm scared" Remus looked at Sirius puzzled so Sirius continued "I'm scared that im not going to be a good farther I mean look at how I was raised not exactly the best, I'm scared that im going to mess up that the kid will hate me like I hate my family I'm" Sirius didn't get any further because Remus had kissed him "Sirius will you hit our child"

"what, no never I'd never do that" Sirius looked hurt that Remus would even ask such a thing.

"will you lock them in their room for days, will you scream and curse at them, call them a half breed or a blood traitor"

"no never" Remus smiled

"see you're not going to raise our child like you parents did you. You'll do the exact opposite you'll show them love, you'll play with them we'll take them out for picnic's in the park where they can play fetch with you. You'll be a wonderful dad because you know exactly what not to do" Sirius smiled and vowed to himself that that is what it would be like. His child's life would be filled with love and laughter and happiness the exact opposite of his own childhood.