Lass uns verschwinden im Nebel, im Licht;
Im Schatten dieser Nacht sieht man uns nicht.
Unauffindbar, führ mich aus,
Ich lad' dich ein weit hinaus.
Denn geht die Sonne unter gehen wir auf.
Simon liked to think that he didn't let some stupid crush dictate his whole life. That he was a self-determined human being who decided his own fate, thank you very much, without letting something as stupid as never-to-be-reciprocated feelings get in his way.
He also believed in the inherent goodness of humanity, so maybe he was a hopeless case, anyway.
He hid the wistful sigh that escaped his lips behind the mug of fresh coffee that he held in his hand, big fonts on it proclaiming that bad decisions made the best memories. If his coffee cup was to be believed, then Simon would have nothing but awesome memories to look back to. But his mug was a filthy liar, always lying (enter corresponding meme here).
Case in point, Simon´s decision to share an apartment with Jace of all people. His old, perfectly acceptable and first and foremost non-bothering roommate Jerome had gotten himself a girlfriend and had decided that he would rather move in with her than staying with Simon (which he couldn't really understand, because the air conditioning may not be working half of the time, the water sometimes tasted a little bit like cheese and there were some mysterious stains on the ceiling; but, hey, it was cheap?!), so Simon – faced with the threat of eviction and moving back in with his mother (which would be, like, a total failure on his journey into adulthood) – had been desperate enough to assent to Clary who had a friend in her art class whose brother was also on the search for an apartment.
At their first meeting Simon had poured his (thankfully already cold) coffee over Jace shirt because he had tripped over a stack of books which he had totally planned to put back into the shelf before the other boy came. He then stumbled his way through an apology because he was too busy ogling the Men´s Health Adonis that stood in front of him, while Jace eyebrows were judging him badly. That his shirt was now clinging to every line of his abs didn't help Simon very much.
Somehow, he managed to show Jace the apartment anyway and since then Jace had been his flatmate. A very aggravating, annoying, way too hot and unfairly fair looking flatmate with a smirk that could set Simon on flames every time. 99 percent of their interactions consisted of thinly veiled insults and sarcasm, but that only managed to make Simon fall for Jace even faster.
Back to present, Jace, only wearing t-shirt and boxer short, was currently trying to get the cereals which stood on the top shelf in their kitchen, giving Simon a perfect view of his ass…ets. Did Simon feel bad for objectifying Jace during half of their interactions? Simon would like to say yes to that question, but then he would remember Jace lying on their couch, watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, stretching, thus making his t-shirt slide up and giving Simon a perfect view of his lower stomach and the v-line down there….so, nope, no regrets, none, whatsoever.
"It´s 6pm," Simon mentioned casually as he took another sip from his coffee.
"So what?" Jace replied, not even bothering with a bowl, instead spooning the cereals directly from the packaging. "I´m a college student, I´m allowed to get up at six and eat an unhealthy amount of cereals." He waved the spoon at Simon. "Why are you so dressed up, anyway?"
Simon´s face fell.
"Nothing," he mumbled. Jace shrugged, obvious to Simon´s mounting disappointment. For the last few days, Simon had done nothing but talked about the coming performance of Rock Solid Panda, which would be their biggest up to date. Simon hadn't dared to ask Jace directly if he would come, too afraid of being shot down with Jace trademark sarcasm, so he had dropped hints like crazy, hoping that Jace would pick up on them.
Apparently he hadn't.
Suddenly not in the mood to be in Jace´s presence anymore, Simon stood up rather abruptly. He slung his backpack over his back and made his way towards the door.
"Simon, wait…." Jace shouted after him, but Simon had already slammed the door shut behind him. Taking several steps at once Simon soon found himself outside the apartment building, walking along the sidewalk. Darkness had already settled, but that meant nothing in New York: The billboards shone bright, the street a sea of headlights and every window offering a glimpse into its own little world.
While Simon walked, he pulled out his smartphone, his finger tipping in the number he needed to call on autopilot.
"Whazzup, Si," Clary´s happy voice came through the speaker.
"I´m on my way," Simon told her as he evaded some stupid suit monkey who didn't even bother trying to sidestep Simon. "Asshole," Simon mumbled under his breath.
"Great!" Clary exclaimed. "Izzy and I have set everything up and Magnus is readying the bar, so everything should be all ready to go when you all arrive."
"Thanks again, y'know, for making this happen," Simon said.
"It´s nothing," Clary dismissed. "You´re just lucky that the owner of the club is totally gone for the brother of the girl who I managed to befriend at the start of the semester." The noise in the background suddenly abated, so Clary must have found a quiet spot in the club to continue their talk.
"What about..."
"He forgot," Simon answered curtly.
"Oh, Si," Clary sighed. "I was so sure he´d come. I had Izzy talk to him at least twice with him about it."
"It´s noting," Simon replied, not knowing which of them he tried to convince: Himself of Clary.
"You know that I know that it isn't 'nothing', but for the sake of your performance and mental health I´ll drop the topic until at least tomorrow," Clary told him in her strictest voice.
"My performance ranks higher than my mental health?" Simon exclaimed mock-hurt.
"Of course," Clary replied in her 'duh'-voice. "Do you know how difficult it was to convince Magnus to allow a band named Rock Solid Panda play in his club? If you have a break-down while one stage my reputation will be in shambles."
"That´s why you´re my best friend," Simon smiled. "See you later." Clary harrumphed and hung up.
Wenn unmöglich wieder möglich wird;
Sich alles Schwere so leicht verliert.
Mit Bass und Beat gehen wir laut
Auf die Dächer, hoch hinaus;
Wir sehen wie die Sterne auf uns schauen.
The bass was vibrating through his every fibre, lyrics hung in the air like the smell of fresh coffee in the morning and the lights flashed like thousand supernovae exploding around them. The crowd before him was lost in the music, dancing with smiles on their faces and throwing their hands in the air.
Simon loved moments like this: When he could forget everything else, completely subsume himself into the music and allow the lyrics to flow over his lips and fill the void between him and the crowd. There was an otherworldliness to this moment, a certain sharpness that everything else lacked and Simon wished that it would last forever.
He let his eyes roam over the people dancing on the floor, their smiling faces, their moving bodies, and nearly stumbled over the next words when his gaze fell upon a certain face in the crowd. Jace stood there, unmoving, like a rock in the currents of the sea, his gaze set firmly on Simon. For a moment, it was like time had come to an abrupt halt, the people suddenly stopping to move, the only sound his heartbeat as Simon looked at Jace. And even though there were hundreds of people in the club, for just a split second it felt like it was only Simon and Jace.
But then time resumed and Jace was subsumed by the people on the dancefloor again and no matter how hard Simon tried he couldn't find him again.
Soon, the melody of their last song faded away, which signalled for the crowd to erupt in loud cheers and clapping.
"Thank you, guys!" Simon screamed. "This was Rock Solid Panda!" The crowd cheered as the band made their way from the stage and soon enough the air was filled with music again as the party continued on. Behind the stage, Clary was already waiting for him.
"You were awesome!" she exclaimed and then she was already wrapping her arms around and hugging him. "You rocked the whole club!"
"Yeah, we did," Simon agreed. He looked up and froze: There, in the doorway that led back to the club, stood Jace, his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes filled with something akin to anger and disappointment. Before Simon could say anything, the other boy had already turned around and vanished back into the club.
Simon just stood there, forlorn…
…until Clary smacked him on the back of his head.
"Ow," Simon cursed as he rubbed the hurt part of his head.
"What are you waiting for, idiot?!" Clary exclaimed. "Go after him!"
"But…"
"GO!" Too afraid of Clary at the moment, Simon began to move, back into the club, towards the exit where he was somehow sure Jace was heading. Outside, fresh air and the lights of New York immediately began to assault him, but he could make out Jace at the end of the sidewalk.
"Jace, wait!" Simon called after the blonde. "Wait!" Jace didn't wait, so Simon had to sprint after the other.
"What do you want, Simon?" Jace demanded to know when Simon had finally caught up to him.
"What do I want?" Simon exclaimed indignantly. "What do you want? First, you give no indication that you even plan to come to the gig, then you suddenly appear in the crowd and then you come backstage only to look at me like I just killed a puppy in front of your eyes. I receive a lot of mixed signals here, dude, and it confuses me."
"It´s nothing," Jace replied curtly. "I wanted to congratulate you on your performance, but you were already busy with your girlfriend." Simon couldn't help but erupt in laughter at that statement, which, in hindsight, wasn't the best course of action as Jace´s expression closed off even further.
"Dude!" Simon laughed. "You think Clary´s my girlfriend?" Now confusion spread over Jace´s face.
"She was really into your personal space," he mumbled.
"Yeah, because she´s my best friend and she was happy for me," Simon explained. "Besides, I´ve already got a crush on someone else."
"Fine," Jace pressed out. "I wish you and whoever it is all the best and hope you´re gonna be hapy with each other. I´m heading home now, so if you….
"It´s you!" Simon blurted out. "I´ve got a crush on you, okay?! I´ve got a crush on your snark and your sarcasm and the way you´re totally not a morning person even though you insist you are and even how you pour milk before the cereals and…" He didn't come further because suddenly Jace was right before him and then his lips were pressing on Simon´s. Too shocked for the first few seconds, Simon did nothing, but then he could feel Jace trying to pull back and Simon couldn't really well have that, could he, so he gripped Jace and pulled him back towards him.
They kissed, Simon trying to devour Jace, to taste everything of him. The air around them crackled with electricity. It was everything that Simon had imagined kissing Jace would be like and even more. He couldn't say where he ended and Jace began, they were one entity sharing two bodied and Simon had never felt so close to somebody.
"I though you wouldn't come," Simon whispered as they broke apart.
"I was a coward," Jace confessed. "I didn't plan on coming because I was too afraid to tell you about my feelings, but then Izzy called and threatened me with castration and you never know with her…" Simon laughed.
"Well," he said. "I definitely have to thank her for that." He paused for a moment. "There won´t be any castration, though. I have other plans for tonight."
Keine Träume sind für uns zu groß,
Ich schwör' dir heute sind wir grenzenlos.
Wir werden wach und wir fallen hoch;
Ich schwör' dir, heute sind grenzenlos.
Simon couldn't really recall how they made it back to their apartment, because it felt like he had spent the whole time kissing Jace, but somehow he found himself pressed against the door while Jace put a trail of kisses down his neck.
"Maybe we should go inside before Ms Carmichael calls the cops on us?" Simon suggested. He managed to pull his keys out of his pocket and opened the door.
They made it to the kitchen, where Simon instantly pressed Jace against the counter. Jace found his mouth again and they continued kissing while they fumbled at each other´s shirt, trying to rid the other off the bothersome piece of clothing. Simon´s was the first to go and Jace let out a strangled gasp which made Simon puff with pride.
"You´re so hot," Jace whispered. He slid off the counter and began to shower Simon´s neck and collar bone with kisses, exploring every section of exposed skin he could find. Simon threw back his head when Jace began to suck at his nipples. Electricity was surging through his body from wherever Jace touched him and Simon had never felt so powerful – so invincible – as he was feeling now.
He helped Jace out of his shirt and then pushed the man against the counter, again. Simon´s mouth was on Jace´s within seconds, their naked upper bodies touching. Simon was hard as a rock and from what he felt, Jace was as, too. They rubbed against each other, trying to find friction, chasing elusive ecstasy.
This time it was Simon who broke their kiss, making Jace let out a disappointed keen which soon turned into a lustful moan as Simon sank down on his knees, his head finally right in front of Jace´s crotch.
After a few well practiced movements Jace´s cock sprang free from the confinement of his boxers and Simon salivated at the sight of it. Long, curved and with only the feintest traces of blonde hair at its base.
"Simon," Jace keened, his eyes filled with desire. It was an empowering moment for Simon, seeing Jace like this – having him at his mercy – and knowing that he had been the one to get the other man there and they hadn't even started really.
Simon lapped at Jace´s sac, playing with his tight balls. Jace threw his head back and groaned. Then Simon licked a broad stripe along the length of Jace´s cock, circling its head with his tongue before he swallowed it down in one go.
"Fuuuuck!" Jace shouted, desperately trying to thrust into Simon´s mouth, but Simon´s hands on his hip kept him fixated. Simon allowed himself a dry laugh, which reverberated around Jace´s dick in his mouth, managing to elicit another broken groan from Jace. Simon fumbled with his own fly until he was able to wrap his hand around his cock, slowly beginning to stroke himself as he sucked Jace off.
Finally, Simon´s throat had adjusted to Jace´s cock and so he let go of Jace, allowing the other man to fuck him as fast as he wanted. Jace´s thrusts were tender and shallow at first, but when he noticed how good Simon was taking it, he began to pistol his hips back and forth faster and faster, until he was truly fucking Simon´s face as rough as Simon loved it.
When Jace´s thrust became more sluggish and slow Simon knew that the other wouldn't last any longer. One last thrust, a broken cry, and Simon could feel Jace´s come filling his throat. Looking up, Simon was met with Jace´s gaze, pupils blown wide and so full of savage lust that it pushed Simon over the edge as well. With one last stuttered stroke, he came all over his hand as well.
For a few seconds, nothing could be heard but the laboured breath of both of them. Shaking, Simon pulled himself up from the ground.
"Well, we didn't make it as far as I´d hoped," Simon commented.
"We still have the rest of the night," Jace smirked and pulled in Simon in for another filthy kiss.
The next morning Simon sent Clary a message only consisting of the moaning emoji and the three drops of water. She replied with the barfing emoji, but followed up on it with the Champaign bottle.