Well, I always did wonder what would happen if you fed a Venomous Tentacula Skele-Grow… thought Neville Longbottom grimly as he dodged yet another vine. Neville dropped to the ground and rolled to escape the next dark red shoot. Working his way around the greenhouse, Neville, jumped, dove, leapt, rolled, crawled, and in one particularly harrowing instance, flew, looking for a weak spot. As a summer job he went around doing odd Herbology jobs. The man whose greenhouse Neville was currently fighting for his life in had ordered a crate of muggle "pesto-sides." However, it seemed that some of the pesto-sides had been replaced by some anti-muggle pranksters with powdered Skele-Grow. At least a wizard was at the end of this prank – if a muggle had gotten a hold of this, many could have been hurt.

"Diffindo!" Neville cried, and one of the dark red arms fell, severed from the rest of the large plant. However, the Skele-Grow seemed to still be in effect, and a new vine was starting to grow. Worst of all, this wasn't just an abnormally large plant with spiky tentacles that had a penchant for snaring humans: this was an abnormally large plant with spiky tentacles that had a penchant for snaring humans whose tentacles had also become as hard and sturdy as bone, yet remaining as flexible as a vine. As Neville leapt over one vine, another caught him in the back. Neville went sprawling on the ground. He rolled over to dodge another vine, and cried out in pain. The vine that had knocked him to the ground had torn through his clothes and opened up small lacerations on Neville's back. And the pesto-sides were getting into his cuts, making them burn fiercely.

"Diffindo!" shouted Neville. "Diffindo! Diffindo!" Vines fell off, but new ones quickly replaced them. However, Neville had been able to clear away enough arms to glimpse the center, the "heart" of the thing. The huge mouth was open wide, readying itself to be fed, but also presenting itself as an open target. Neville dove forward as vine crunched into the ground behind him, and somersaulted left. He jumped up and ran along a vine before diving back down to the ground. Another vine had attempted to get Neville off of the tentacle he had been on, and now that he was off, the two appendages mixed with each other, searching for Neville, and ended up in a very tight knot. Neville then dove beneath the two now ineffectual vines and caught his breath.

Once his breath was successfully caught, Neville scurried back into the action. He worked his way through a tangle of spiky vines, finally reaching the "body" of the Venomous Tentacula. The Venomous Tentacula was really a mouth with tentacles, but it had a base from which the tentacles sprouted. Neville was currently crouched next to it, and was trying to get close enough to the mouth. He had decided that he would burn the monster, and extinguish the flames as soon as it was dead. Neville easily could have burnt one of the limbs and let the fire spread to the heart, but he would have risked setting the whole greenhouse on fire. He had to find away of setting the heart on fire – without getting eaten in the process. In fact, not getting eaten was one Neville's goals in life. Neville watched as the vines whipped around the greenhouses, picking things up, and throwing them, sometimes brining those objects to its horrible gaping maw. As Neville watched the horrible process, a crazy, insane idea popped into his mind. Heck, one might even call it a Luna idea.

As soon as Neville thought this, he was sorry, and felt ashamed. Luna was one of the strongest friends he had ever had. She had been the only non-Gryffindor to go to the Ministry, she was smart, and her loyalty was amazing considering she was a Ravenclaw. Nevertheless, the plan Neville was concocting was something that Luna would have thought up. Neville waited till a vine got close, and yelled, "Diffindo!" He grabbed the large dark red tentacle that fell to the ground, and picked it up, albeit with some difficulty. He then cast a minor Bubble-Body Charm on himself. It was a spell they had learned the year previously, and Professor Flitwick had said that he was quite prodigious at it. Neville swelled slightly, appearing to have gained about fifty pounds in the past 15 seconds. Neville grimace as his clothes became too tight for him, and his belt buckles were digging into his skin. He had no time to take of his belt, and did his best to ignore the pain. Then, Neville enacted the crazy, insane, Luna-tic part of his plan: he stood still. He gripped the severed vine tightly and waited for himself to be captured by the Venomous Tentacula. However, things did not go exactly as planned.

Instead of being picked up by a vine, he was accidentally knocked over by one. The plant now sensed his presence, but Neville was in a more compromising situation. He scrambled to get up right, but now the plant's tentacles were sweeping all over the area. One quickly found his leg, and Neville found himself hoisted in the air, upside-down. Neville held on tightly to the severed vine, but he was consequently gripping his wand so hard he feared it would snap. The plant was now drawing the only son of Frank and Augusta Longbottom closer to its horrible mouth. Neville desperately tried to point his wand at himself, and keep a grip on the vine, but since he was upside down he could not balance the vine with his knees or any other appendages, and he lost his grip on both of the items he was holding. He frantically grabbed for them, but was only able to grab the severed vine. Despite himself, Neville couldn't help feel relieved that his wand, his wand was safe, well, safer, on the ground. It was too small and thin for the vines to pay it an attention, nonetheless even pick it up.

Neville's relief disappeared faster than Ronald Weasley when Lavender Brown entered a room when he realized that even though he didn't have his wand, well, he didn't have his wand. Neville panicked and tried to get loose, but he was held tightly. He was just about to give up hope when he felt a strange sensation. It was as if all of his clothes were growing bigger. Either that or…

Had he been able to, Neville would have jubilantly jumped in joy. The Bubble-Body Charm was wearing off, and Neville was literally breathing easier. Neville started to slip downwards as the confused plant tried to tighten its grip, but to no avail, for Neville had come prepared. As he fell downwards, Neville stretched his hands up towards his feet while still holding the severed vine. The plant tightened around the vaguely Neville-shaped chunk of flora, as Neville slipped through the Venomous Tentacula's grasp completely. Neville tucked himself into a ball, and hit the ground with a thud. The wind was knocked out of him, but he was fine. Neville rolled over into a less compromising position, and was delighted to find he had fallen quite close to his wand. Neville dove forward, scrabbled on the ground for it, picked it up, and turned back towards the Tentacula, wand at the ready. The Venomous Tentacula was about to eat the plant facsimile of Neville, and the real Neville knew that now was his only chance. Taking a few precious seconds to check his aim (a miss-fire now would be disastrous), Neville bellowed "INCENDIO!" A jet of red light zoomed towards the chunk of tentacle the plant was now lowering into its terrible gaping maw, and the severed vine burst into flames, just as it was tossed into the plant's mouth.

At first, nothing happened. Then Neville heard what could only be described as a scream, though he knew it was impossible. This was a Venomous Tentacula, not a Mandrake. Nevertheless, a thin piercing wail emanated throughout the greenhouse, as smoke erupted from the heart of the plant. The vines began to thrash all around the greenhouse, and Neville made for the door, dodging the death spasms of the dying plant. Neville made it to the door, and scrabbled with the handle, finally getting it open after a few extremely tense seconds. Neville dove outside, and slammed the door shut. He caught his breath, and winced as he heard the tinkle of breaking glass. Apparently, the plant was now completely out of control, but this also meant that it would cease moving very soon. Neville was just contemplating how the owner would react when he saw what had become of his greenhouse, when silence hit Neville's ears, more powerful than any noise he had ever heard before.

Neville cautiously opened the door, and peered inside. Dark red vines were sprawled all over the greenhouse, but they were motionless. Neville could smell smoke, but most of it had wafted out through the broken panes in the roof. Just to be sure, Neville crept closer towards the heart of the plant. The mouth was slightly ajar, and Neville gently closed it. It was trying to kill him, but he knew that the plant was probably under excruciating pain itself. Neville had heard that re-growing bones was a painful process, but he was sure that growing them where they shouldn't even been was even more painful.

There was still a small fire smoldering in the plants heart, and Neville quietly murmured, "Aguamenti." A stream of water spouted out of his wand, quickly extinguishing the fire. Neville solemnly walked out of the greenhouse, and into the house of the daft wizard who had ordered "pesto-sides." At the thought of the strange powder, Neville's back started to ache, but he could get healed later. He felt he thoroughly deserved his full pay this time, just as the wizard who was now calmly sipping tea in the dining room thoroughly deserved to be notified to the Department for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. As far as Neville was concerned, any use of the pesto-sides was a misuse. He didn't even know what they were for, but anything that stung that bad was probably bad news.

Neville collected his pay and flooed to Diagon Alley, where he deposited his meager amount of money in his personal vault, and walked over to St. Mungo's, where he would get a Healer to look at his back.

Neville staggered into his grandmother's house late that night. The Healer that had checked him over had no experience with Muggles at all, and Neville had to wait for a savvier Healer to help him. Neville greeted his grandmother, who wished he was earning his wages through means more befitting the legacy of his parents, but was nevertheless glad he was earning some money. Neville flopped onto his bed, exhausted. He would need all the rest he could get, because tomorrow was the big day: his Apparition Test. Neville quickly fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep, and woke up remembering what he had last thought: I should totally tell Luna about this.