I have been the Commander of the 12 clans and the coalition since I was the age of 14. I started my training with my conclave with the other Nightbloods when I was just five years old. I was taken from my parents at that age to start learning all I needed to know for if and when the old Commander's spirit chose me. When I was 10 I met Costia. There was something that drew me to Costia, at this point in my life I would not tell you what made me fall in love with her. But I remember the day I fell in love with her it was just a few days after we had met. I was sparing with my mentor Anya, when she distracted me so much that Anya beat me up pretty badly, since that day I knew Costia stole my heart and would never give it back; not that I wanted her too anyway. It has been five years since I made the coalition and became the Commander of the 12 clans. Costia and I had a bonding ceremony when we were 18 years old. She has been my rock since day one; after Clarke and her people fell from the sky three month ago everything has been turned upside down. After much fighting and arguing we are now trying to have peace between everyone. Clarke became my ambassador for Skaikru and has been staying in Polis for quiet some time now; I made sure to make Skaikru part of my Coalition to protect them but to also make sure they do not go behind my back and start another war. Before the war with Mount Weather, I started to have feelings for Clarke; Costia could see right through me and could tell that I was starting to fall for another. Though she did not seem to care and to me it seemed as if she was falling for Clarke as well. When we rescued Clarke from the Ice Nation after I left her to deal with Mount Weather her self, before she became the Skaikru ambassador, she has been a little distant and angry with both my self and Costia. I could understand where she is coming from; but she would have done the same for her people as I did at Mount Weather; I just have to get her to see that. She is a lot more stubborn then my self according to Costia; I do not see it.
"I talked to Clarke today, she seems a little less angry at us, or maybe just me.", Costia said as she entered our room as I was dressing into my night gown. I turned around and smiled at her loving the way the moonlight shined on her face.
"She is still angry with me, she does not want to speak with me at all. You are the only one close to me that she will speak too. I get why, I just wish she would see that I did it for a reason and that she would have done the same for her people given the chance.", I said to her as she started changing her self. She said something to me but I was too distracted by her curves to notice that she was talking to me.
"You are such a man when it comes to me being naked.", Costia said to me after I was not in a daze anymore. I smiled lovingly at her and got closer to her so that our bodies where touching each other.
"I am not a man when it comes to appreciating your body, it is my job as a lover and wife to appreciate my lovers' body. I will admit sometimes I do get a little too distracted but that is not my fault.", I said to her with a smirk and a laugh to my voice; which got her to laugh as well and blush under the compliment. I have been trying to pay more attention to Costia, I feel as if since Clarke and her people came to our territory I have not be much of a wife to Costia; which I will be making it up to her.
"I know what you are thinking right now, but it is not true. You have a job my love, and you have been doing your job these last few months not ignoring your wife. I knew what it was going to be like being married to the Commander, I understand and will not even feel as if you are ignoring me. I wish I could help more then I do.", Costia said to me with a smile on her face; a smile that I have loved since the very first time she smiled at me.
In the months that Clarke as been on her own in the forest while the Ice nation was trying to get to her; her Mother Abby has been trying to help Costia and I with extending our family with the help of Skaikru technology. Costia and I understand as much as we can but it is still new to us. But we recently discovered that whatever Abby was doing it has worked and Costia is now with child. After I was told of this information I did not want her any where near danger. She has helped me with planning things but has not set foot in war territory and I would like to keep it that way until our child is older. After thinking about what she has said I put my hand on her lower stomach without even thinking about it and smiled at her.
"You help more then you think you do, and you have to keep safe until our little one is born.", I said to her with love in my eyes and a smile on my face. "Are you okay with me having feelings for Clarke, even though we are about to start a family?", I also asked her wondering if she feels as if I was betraying her.
"Lex, we have had other lovers before and I am sure we will continue to have lovers even after our child is born. I do not mind that you like Clarke; I will admit that I like her as well. She's very beautiful, I would not mind her being our lover as long as she does not mind being our lover as well. I think she feels the same way though; it makes sense with the way she is reacting to how you left them at Mount Weather, I believe she fell for you as soon as she saw you, she trusted you with her heart and to her, even though I understand where you were coming from, you broke it the day you left her and her people behind at Mount Weather. I think she is afraid to trust you again with her heart, that maybe you will betray her again.", Costia said to me as she made me start to think that maybe she was right about Clarke.
"We will have to speak to her about it when we get the chance.", I said to my wife as someone knocked on our bedroom door. "Enter.", I said to whoever was on the other side of the door; hoping that maybe it was Clarke.
"Could I talk to the two of you?", Clarke asked as she poked her head into our room. She looked as if she needed to really tell us what was going on with her, or maybe something had happened with Skaikru that she just learned about now. I guess I will have to find out by asking her.
"Sure you can Clarke, come sit and talk.", Costia said before I could even answer her my self. The three of us sat down on our couch that was in the middle of our room. Clarke looks as if she is conflicted in tell us what is going on with her. But if I know my wife and Clarke they will both some how get each other to talk about what they have to talk about.
"Lexa, ever since Mount Weather I wondered why you betrayed me and left me there with my people but saved your own. Did you not believe that I would have been able to get everyone out? I tried to understand but I just can't think of anything else except that you didn't believe in me.", Clarke had said to us as she started to tear. I felt horrible that she would think I did not think she could do what needed to be done. I felt quiet the opposite actually.
"No Clarke, I did it because I knew you would be able to get your people out safe and sound. I knew you were strong enough to get both of our people out, but I saw it as that I was helping you just incase your plan did not work and our people were left there to die. I did what I thought was best at the time for everyone. Now that I look back on it, I see where I was wrong. I am sorry that I have made you feel as if you are not a qualified leader, because you are Clarke, you have lead your people into battle numerous of times and have won each one. You are just as great of a leader as I am Clarke, never think otherwise.", I said to her as I sat down next to her and took her hands into mine and stared at her right in the eyes so that she knew what I was speaking was true.
"She's right Clarke, I understand where you are both coming from, but I know my wife she would not have left you there if she did not think you would have survived. You got your people out of there and you killed the Mountain men that have been taking our people for generations and using their blood to benefit them. If it was not for you my brother would not have been home with his wife and new born; You saved him.", Costia had added to Clarke with smile of her own.
"You saved plenty of people that night Clarke and you continue to do it being my ambassador.", I said to her as she stopped tearing.
"I feel as if I also killed innocent people just to get what I wanted.", Clarke spoke to us with a very low tone and sadness as well. I wish she would give her self so much more credit then she does. Maybe Costia and I can help her with that in the future.
"Clarke, innocent people die in war all the time, it's the price we have to make in order to do right by the people that look up to us.", I said to her as she looked right at me.
"We bare it so they don't have too.", She spoke my words to me the day I told her those words I did not think she would remember them.
"Exactly, and we will continue to do so until we have peace to give them.", I said back to her with a smile on my face and nothing but love in my eyes.