The Death of Captain Silverfeng
A long time ago there was a grasshopper called Thaton. Thaton was trained by the best, Sensei Goldentail (Brandon Epperson). Goldentail was the chosen one and became immortal. Goldentail has many unique abilities. His power has far surpassed his sensei, Sensei Foxenstar. Foxenstar was a great sensei yet he was murdered by the dreaded pirate Captain Silverfeng (Steven Reeves). Goldentail swore revenge and is currently looking for Silverfeng.
Goldentail has recently slowed down his search for revenge for a family. Thaton is Goldentail's daughter. Goldentail has decided to make Thaton his grasshopper. Thaton is partial immortal meaning she will never die from old age but she can die from a fatal wound. Thaton is not Goldentail's only grasshopper; she is joined by grasshopper Tigokumaru (Kory Mather) and grasshopper Kintoki (Mike McKinney). They all trained very hard but Thaton had a clear advantage over her allies. Tigokumaru and Kintoki were very evenly matched; they were at the exact same power level.
"You three are very skilled and you all will become great masters very soon." Said Sensei Goldentail. Thaton, Tigokumaru, and Kintoki said, "Thank you Sensei, it is greatly appreciated." Sensei Goldentail said, "That is all for today, go back to your studies as your skills will be put to the test, go get some sleep and be ready for tomorrow." Thaton, Tigokumaru, and Kintoki said, "Yes Sensei."
Later that night
Goldentail said, "Will this rain ever stop!" Surfana said, "Dear, calm down, it will end soon enough." eeeeeekkkkkkkk! "What was that?" said Goldentail. Surfana said, "It came from the door." Goldentail said, "I will check it out."
Goldentail slowly walked toward the door, he slowly opened it and saw a horrifying sight. It was a badly wounded Kitsune. The battered Kitsune said, "I am Shiningmoon (Andy Katalenich), will you pleas……… uuuuhhhh." Goldentail quickly said, "Surfana, gather the village doctor, quickly!" Surfana hesitated for a moment. Goldentail said, "NOW!" Surfana quickly ran out the back door and went to gather the village doctor. Goldentail said to Shiningmoon, "It is going to be all right son, it is going to be all right." "Your not my father." Said the kitsune in a weak voice. "Shut the f up you bastard!" he yelled as he knocked out the kitsune with a knife. Goldentail had the Kitsune's blood all over his hands. Goldentail knew the Kitsune would not make it unless he used his mystical powers. Goldentail started chanting a spell, "Sinco de coursay, sinco de coursay, sinco de coursay, SINCO DE COURSEY!" Faster then you could blink your eyes, slowly Shiningmoon was healed. He got up just as Surfana got back with the village doctor. "Your supposed to be hurt you liar!" she yelled as she jumped on him and started to beat him to death. "I think we've found out how he got hurt," the village doctor said.
later after Shiningmoon was healed (again)
Shiningmoon started to tell his story, "Captain Silverfeng, he was the one who did this to me, I swear revenge!" Goldentail said, "I also have sworn that I shall kill Silverfeng." Right then Surfana said, "Over there doctor, over there, oh, I guess that he is ok, what happened?" Shiningmoon said, " It all started when ……………………… and then I ended up here, on your doorstep." Shiningmoon said, "Hey, I never got your names, what are they?" "I am Sensei Goldentail and this is my wife Surfana and we have a daughter named Thaton, she is here long pause I said she is here, longer pause I SAID SHE IS HERE DAMMIT!" Longest pause- "Oh I get what your doing, so f you, f you!" Thaton Walked down the stairs in a beautiful aka revealing dress, she looked at Shiningmoon and he looked at her and … and … "Hey everybody there's doughnuts fresh outta the oven!" yelled Surfana from the kitchen.
at dinner
"Thaton!" "What?" "When I say that you are hear, you race down the steps in the most revealing dress you have!" "But this is the most revealing dress I have." "What?" "I said this is the m…" "I know what you said, honey" speaking to Surfana "We are going shopping tomorrow to pick Thaton out a lap dancing outfit." Shiningmoon blushes vivid red. Thaton on the other hand struggles to suppress a giggle as she thought of this. "Enough!" yells Surfana. "That is quite enough now eat your chicken breasts and don't forget the extra tits on the side." Shiningmoon shoves his plate away. "I'm not hungry right now." "What?" To prevent another attack he quickly changes the subject. "So, you're a sensei huh, well since we have both sworn revenge on killing Captain Silverfeng why don't we go find him right here and now!" Goldentail said, "I can't just up and leave my family, they mean too much to me." "Why did you swear revenge?" "Silverfeng killed my Sensei, that is enough reason to kill him." Shiningmoon said, "I know that your family is the most important thing to you but you swore, once you have sworn you have to do it no matter what." Goldentail said, "But" "No, don't hang on to what you already have, you must kill him, I can not kill him on my own, I need your help!" Goldentail said, "Yes, you are right, I need to avenge my Sensei, I will do it!"
Surfana said, "But you can't, you you you have a family, we love you and we need you, who is going to train Thaton? Who is going to fuck me at night? Who is going to bring me pleasure! I need someone to make love to Goldentail, you know that!" "That is way more than I wanted to hear," said Shiningmoon. "Here take this yen, and go buy yourself a male prostitute or something, I am truly sorry" Thaton, who had been asleep for a while, woke up and asked "Huh, what is going on?" Surfana said, "Oh nothing your father is just going on a journey and we will probably never see him again." "Oh, the usual, ok just checkin'" Goldentail said, "Don't worry, I will be back, the question is will you still be alive when I get back, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Thaton groggily said, "Well yes, that is nice." Goldentail gently kissed Thaton, then walked over to Surfana and gave her the lovin'. "Whoa whoa, said Shiningmoon "Get a room, we don't want to see you make love right now." He said as Surfana started to undress. "Oh right" said Surfana as she got her shirt rebuttoned.
Shiningmoon was about twenty feet away from the door and said, "Are you coming or am I doing this one solo?" Goldentail gave a quick wave of the hand and a big smoochin' to his wife and they were off. "Hey wait up!" "Took ya long enough!" Goldentail said, "You know what it is like with family."
"No, I don't." "What?" You heard me right, I don't know, my family was murdered by Captain Silverfeng." "Now, you tell me why you swore revenge, dumbass. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" "You never asked."
Goldentail and Shiningmoon found a big village on their way and thought that they deserved a rest. Two women in very revealing cloths greeted them. The pairs each went their separate ways. Goldentail and the woman each got to know each other more and more as the day went by. Shiningmoon and the other women got to know each other less and less, Goldentail, however, was the lucky one. After a few hours of almost making out the woman started to take him deep into the forest when Goldentail asked the women where they were going the women said, "To my suite, where else?" "Why?" "You are going to fuck me right?" "Oh … uh … um … sure I guess." Meanwhile … Shiningmoon and the other woman weren't getting along as well … ok … at all. Shiningmoon thought his woman was a sex slave. The woman obviously wasn't. Since Shiningmoon thought that, he automatically grabbed her big ass, and her juicy breasts. She automatically slapped him as hard as she could … ok harder than that … and said, "What the fuck do you think you are doing you sick ker! I will let you know that I am a lady not some whore ass bum on the streets, does it look like I need to have sex right now!"
back to Goldentail's fantasy
Ok we'll give you a preview, the hooker said "Mmm mmm, oh yeah baby fuck me like that, right in the ass, oh yeah this feels great, I needed someone like u to cum inside my ass!" Goldentail with his huge dick in her ass said, "Oh yeah baby, I really needed to have some new pussy now and then." Back to Shiningmoon
"Oh god, it hurts so much and yet it feels so good, wait is that a sword?" Asked Shiningmoon. The lady said, "Say good-by to your kids as she held up the sword … lets turn around and not watch this … "Oh god the horror the horror it burns, oh god it burns!"
After all that, a-hem, goodness … or in shiningmoon's case, badness. Goldentail went to meet back up with Shiningmoon. He found him lying on the ground with a huge handprint on his face and bloody pants moaning in pain. "What are you doing lying on the ground getting sunburned and what not?" Goldentail said, "Come on, we have a pirate to find!" Shiningmoon got so sunburned that he became mama's famous baked Kitsune crumb cake. Goldentail said, "ok I guess I have to bring you back to life, why do I always have to heal you, here we go. Imukuki, imukuki, IMUKUKI!" Suddenly Shiningmoon got his famous tan and sat up. He saw himself in his mirror, and screamed, he was red, not black. "My face! My beautiful, wonderful, eccentric-mumbled by Goldentail "Ugly,"-face!" "Why do you care that much about your fucking face you womanizer of hell," "Are you done insulting me yet." "No, … you evil, vile, slap deserving idiot." "…" "Are you even listening!" –shiningmoon's thoughts- "Goldentail can go fuck his mom and then suck his dad for all I care, bitch." "Huh? What did you say to me?" "Huh?" "You just spoke your thoughts out loud dumbass."
"HEY WATCH OUT!" "Huh," said Goldentail. THWACK! "Sorry!" "What the hell was that?" "Hey are you all right?" asked Shiningmoon. "Hey you, over there, are you hurt? … are you dead? … Should I get the closest village doctor?" Sensei Goldentail and Shiningmoon looked over to the left and saw a sensei with a silver tail and red wristbands running up to them. "Hi I'm Sensei Silvertail (Michael Katalenich). What are you doing on the ground?" "Knittin' sweaters, what's it look like I'm doin'" "Could I have my sword and jhitt back?" "I'm sitting on the ground with a big lump on my head and all you can think about is getting your sword back! I hate humans," grumbled Shiningmoon. Goldentail said, "Hey, do you want a fight here!" Silvertail said, "If it can not be avoided I guess I must" "Pick up your sword Silvertail and I will see if you are any good at fighting. I have a secret weapon though, if you are good enough to actually hit me with your sword you will find out what it is."
Silvertail said, "Well I assure you that I am plenty good and I do not wish to fight, but it happens, are you read-" ching, "I" ching "Didn't" ching "Say"ching "Go" said Silvertail, whosh. "You are a skilled fighter Goldentail, tell me" cling "why are we fighting?" said Silvertail. Goldentail said, "I need" cling "practice to be ready to fight Silver," clash "feng." "Who is Silverfang?" "He is the most dreaded pirate in all the land … sea." "And what did he do?" "He killed my sensei, Sensei Foxenstar." -silence- "FOXENSTAR?" said Silvertail, " That, was, my sensei, GOD DAMN YOU SILVERFENG! I SHALL AVENGE YOU SENSEI! I shall come with you, that motherfucker is going to die for what he has done!" yelled Silvertail. "Come on, what are we wasting time here fighting for! We need to kill Silverfeng!" said Silvertail. "You are right Silvertail, I think that we should stop this and continue our quest"
10 days later
"Ok, we are here, now how do we get on this ship?" said Goldentail."I think we jump on, and hope for the wor, I mean the best.," said silver tail "I'd rather not get found and killed" replied Shiningmoon. "How about we disguise our selves?" "That sounds like a good plan, glad I thought of it," said Shiningmoon. "Uh, Shiningmoon? I don't know how to break it to you but you didn't-," Goldentail covers Silvertail's mouth and shakes his head. "I didn't what?" asked Shiningmoon. "You didn't um … um … um … get along with the lady very well, the slap left a big scar." "…Don't talk about that."
"Sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything." "Shut up, Shut up, stop insulting me, hitting me with swords, and pissin' me off!" "Quit yelling and get outta my face!" yelled Silvertail as he drew his sword "If you wanna fight get ready because you just started one!" ching clang ching ching chang jump-clang jump-fall-thud. "Are you alright?" asked Silvertail as he listened to Shiningmoon moan in agony. "No I'm not alright I just landed on my leg and broke it, look the knee is backwards, and it's all your fault!" "Don't worry I'll heal you why do I even bother sinco de coursey sinco de coursey SINCO DE COURSEY!"
2 minutes after healing Shiningmoon
"OW! It still hurts a little bit!" yelled Shiningmoon. "Oh quit complaining you big wus," said Goldentail. Shiningmoon said, "Hey u ass, it really fuckin' hurts motherfucker so shut the fuck up bitch!" Goldentail said, "ok that's it no more healing for you." "Waaaiiit no I didn't mean any of it-" CRACK suddenly lightning
struck Shiningmoon, but for unknown reasons, Goldentail was unharmed by the shockwave or heat … it really makes you wonder. Goldentail said, " Lets just leave him until we r done battleing." Silvertail said, "Good idea, he was really only a nuisance to us."
Goldentail and Silvertail breech the deck
Goldentail said, "Ok Silvertail, how do we get to Silverfeng?" Silverfeng said, "Well, it looks like we are going to have to slaughter all of the crew to get to him, he is in the captains quarters." Goldentail said, "Well we have nothing better to do, lets go." "YAAAAAAAAAA" ching slash, ching ching ching, "DIE BITCH!" slash, ching slash, ching chang slash. Silverfeng said, "Uh, well, uh, it looks like you could have, done this by yourself are your trying to sink the boat or what?" Goldentail said, "Are you coming or not!" "Uh, yeah," said Silvertail. "Well, lets go then," said Goldentail.
Goldentail and Silvertail reached the door to the captain's quarters. Goldentail said, "Are you ready?" Silvertail said, "Yeah, I am." Right at that moment the door flew at them at an explosive rate, Goldentail and Silvertail got flung to the other side of the ship. Silverfeng came out and said, "Well well well, I see I am wanted dead like my crew, how did u manage to defeat them so easily? They are the toughest most powerful pirates in all the world." Goldentail said, "Its called years of anger built up inside me you MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH! DAMN YOU!" "Well since you came here to kill me, how do you plan on doing so if you cant even get close to me?"
Goldentail said, " It is called magic stupid fuck!" Goldentail told Silvertail to buy him some time to chant a very powerful spell, Silvertail said, "I will try my best to buy you as much time as I can" Silvertail ran toward Silverfeng and got flung back to where be started. Silvertail said, "Damn, he's good, but he must have a weak spot somewhere!" Suddenly the captain's monkey (Sammy Almarhune) flew from the rafters and started attacking Silvertail. Clash! The monkey flew off and got knocked unconscious. Meanwhile Goldentail was chanting his powerful spell. Goldentail said, "That was all I needed Silvertail, I just needed to start powering up for the spell." Silvertail said, "That was it, that was all the time u needed, so basically I got hurt for nothing, you stupid ass" Goldentail said, "Kokico Norma Corney, show your face upon these meer mortals!" pshu pshu, the lightening was fierce and at that moment Kokico came down from the heavens, he, of course, was the god of lightening. Goldentail said, "Kokico make Silverfeng wish he was never born!"
Kokico said, "Yes sensei." Kokico tried his best but Silverfeng kept dodging all of the lightening, Kokico said, "Sensei, my powers r useless against him, he is too fast for the lightening!" Goldentail said, "I can see that, what other god would u recommend?" Kokico said, "Scaropiok would probably be your best choice, I am sorry I have failed u sensei." Goldentail said, "Do not worry about it, u did your best, now go, and be with your brothers, I wish u a good life in the heavens."
Silvertail said, "Uh, well I think I will just go." Goldentail said, no, u can't, we need you even though u don't realize it you are a big part of this." Silvertail said, "Well what am I doing when I can't even get near him? I am just getting in the way." Goldentail said, "Yeah your right, go away, I can do this myself." "Kokico, I need u to distract Silverfeng while I summon Scaropiok." Kokico said, "Yes sensei, I shall do as you wish" Kokico hurled lightening toward the earth yet Silverfeng somehow managed to dodge all of it, luckily Goldentail was ready by the time Silverfeng struck Kokico." Goldentail said, "Scaropiok, lord of all liquid, bring yourself upon the earth!" Scaropiok immediately showed himself to the sensei. Scaropiok said, "Yes sensei? Why have u summoned me?" Goldentail said, "I need you to dispose of Silverfeng." Scaropiok said, "It shall be done."
Scaropiok found a pool of water and was prepared to strike; Silverfeng now had his sword drawn and was ready to defend. Scaropiok flung his orb of water straight at Silverfeng. Silverfeng tried to block with his sword but the water went around the sword and went around his head. Silverfeng cleverly thought to himself as he was drowning. Silverfeng finally reacted and went to attack Scaropiok and Goldentail quickly blocked his attack. Silverfeng tried to say something but Scaropiok and Goldentail only heard a gurgle. Silverfeng know this was his chance to attack so he did so.
Scaropiok was badly wounded. Scaropiok said, "I am sorry sensei, I am the strongest of the gods, u will have to finish this one on your own, I will have one of the gods heal me, I am sorry." Goldentail said, "Don't worry about it, you tried your best Scaropiok, I believe in you and myself, I know I can do it!" "Silverfeng! Your lucky Scaropiok was a god because u would only add to my anger against you even more!" Silverfeng said, "Well then lets finish this, I bore easily." Goldentail said, "As you wish"
It was a dramatic scene where Goldentail and Silverfeng were staring each other down. Goldentail said, "Are you ready?" Silverfeng said, "Yeah, I am." They ran at each other slash, Goldentail just stared away as he knew he delivered the fatal blow to Silverfeng. Silverfeng dropped to his knees and said, "Where, where did u get that pow- uhh." Goldentail said, "Finally, it is over, I can't believe it." Right after Goldentail killed Silverfeng Tokoroku, the head God came down and offered Goldentail the deal of a lifetime. Tokoroku told Goldentail that if he wanted to, he could become a god, but he would have to leave everything behind and start from scratch. Goldentail thought about it for a while and denied the God's request; Goldentail said that he could not bare the guilt of leaving without saying goodbye to his family.
Tokoroku just nodded his head and said, "Very well, I shall honor your decision." Goldentail got off the ship and quickly because it had bore a hole in the hull from the lightening. As soon as Goldentail got off Silvertail said, "What, do u need my help?" Goldentail said, "Nope, the job is done." Silvertail said, " You have got to be kidding me, you killed him that fast, there is no way." Goldentail said, "Why would I lie about something like that?" Silvertail said, "Yeah, I guess so, well, I guess this is good bye then." Goldentail said, "Well do you have anywhere to go?" Silvertail said, "No, not really, I am just a lone wanderer, but, this is an exception of course." Goldentail said, "Why don't you come and live with me in my village?" Silvertail said, "Yeah, ok, I would like that, I would like that a lot." Goldentail said, ok, lets go, I need to get back to let my wife and daughter know that we succeeded."
Silvertail said, "Uh aren't you forgetting something?" Goldentail said, "Uh, no, nothing I can think of, do you know of anything?" Silvertail said, "Yeah, Shiningmoon, you know, you were going to heal him or something like that." Goldentail said, "Oh yeah, that would have been bad for Shiningmoon huh?" "Sinco De Coursey Sinco De Coursey SINCO DE COURSEY!" Shiningmoon sat up and said, " AWWWWWWWWW MAN, did I die AGAIN!" Goldentail said, "yeah." Shiningmoon said, "Well since the one u needed is alive again, lets go defeat Silverfeng!" Goldentail said, "Uh, I hate to break the news to you but I already killed him." Shiningmoon said, "What! How could you, well at least he is dead right, that is all that matters." Goldentail said, 'Well see you around Shiningmoon."
Shiningmoon said, "What, no way, I am staying around you, I wont die, well, I think so anyway, I probably wont die, ok I will just put it out there, my odds of dieing are less than when I am alone ok, GOD are u happy now!" Goldentail said, "You didn't have to say all of that but whatever, if you want to follow us I don't care but you aren't living with me, you stink, you need a shower or something." Silvertail said, "Yeah, what he said." Shiningmoon said, "Oh shut up you bastards, lets just go home." So off they went when suddenly a giant beast attacked Shiningmoon and killed him –AGAIN- "After all he said he still died." Said Goldentail. "Can we please just leave him this time please." Begged Silvertail –shrugs shoulders- "Yeah I guess." So off they went again, but this time just one man short. A while later a dark shadow with the shape of a cloak and a wizards hat looms over shiningmoon's dead body. "Well, what have we hear, hmmm, this will get a good price at the freak show if I could just make it a bit more lively. Mwahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahaha!"