Title: A Not So Happy New Year
Author: Shelby
Summary: "Happy new year Blair," she whispers to herself closing her eyes as a single tear drops. A One-Shot Post 2.13
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my writing and ideas.
A/N: Tell me what you think.
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She puts on her dress silenty, with the door locked as always. She can hear the party outside, all of her mothers guests as well as her new stepfathers. Serena is away with Aaron and tradition is broken. Nate is with his mother in the Hamptons dealing with a year without his dad. Chuck is still gone and she can't change it. She's tried verything from calling until his voicemail was filled and texting until her fingers hurt. She attempted every kind of way she could think of to reach him asking sweetly, demanding angrilly, crying, begging, bargening, but all wen unsuccessful. She was starting to belive he wasn't going to come back and that hurt to much to think of.
She had once again opened her heart to another person only to have it thrown back at her with them leaving. Chuck despite her efforts had done the same thing her father, Serena, and Nate all did to her time and time again. Before though she had always had him as a friend if nothing more, but this year she would ring in the new year with nothing.
She puts on her make-up making sure the mascara is water proof. She doesn't bother to straighten her hair, but lets the loose curls frame her pale face. She feels sick, but she knows its because she forgot to eat today. No one watches or makes sure anymore they're all too busy. She doesn't throw up anymore because when you put nothing in nothing will come out.
She looks her appearance over in the mirror. She is thinner for sure and her hair has gotten darker again. Her face is paler any evidence of a summer of tanning completely gone. Her eyes look tired and sad, they remind her of her mothers when her father left them. She can almost see the hole she feels gaping in her chest where her heart is missing. When she lifts her dress to put on her heels she sees the bruises that cover her legs. She fell down the stairs a few days ago and the lack of eating makes her bruise easier. The truth was she could have caught her balance, but she wanted to feel pain that she could explain, something physical.
It is time for her to go downstairs now and greet guests. She wants more than anything to just crawl back in bed and sleep through the new year as if it wasn't happening, but she doesn't. Instead she musters up her best fake smile, takes a deep breath and walks downstairs.
Her mother and Cyrus are the first to greet her. They are happy and in love, they are open and affectionate, it makes her feel sick again. When they are done she greets a few guests not remembering any faces or names when she is through. The countdown will start any minute so she grabs a glass of champagne and goes out on the balcony. It's is cold, but she doesn't care, at least if she caught a cold it would give her an excuse to look weak.
No one is out here and she stares out at the lit up city instead. She knows almost everyone out there is happy right now surrounded by the people they love. She however is alone and cold.
She hears the count down going on inside and even some from the outsiders of the city. She whispers along with them her voice weak, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two... one."
The music starts and inside people are hugging and kissing. They are welcoming in 2009 with happiness and great memories of the year before. She stays still through it all staring up at the sky focusing on the stars.
"Happy new year Blair," she whispers to herself closing her eyes as a single tear drops.
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A/N: What did you think? Please review!