Chapter 1
Dear Fucking Diary

Wanda stood in the middle of the school playground, perspiring like a boiling, roasting pig as the sun scorched its fucking obnoxious rays at her.

'I'm It!' Citrus, the girl with the insane, frizzy curly hair, called out.

They were all playing a game of tag in the front playground of their oh-so-snobbish piece of a shit school. All of them were acting like they were immature middle-school brats, Wanda thought sourly to herself. Everybody was now in fucking tenth grade, for crying out loud. Couldn't they fucking sit at the lunchroom so that I could pretend to be part of their fucking group for once? Deep-shits with their constant moving around and wanting to do this and that.

The other obnoxious bitches of their group, mainly the trio, Sara, Afbird, Fuckbird (not her real name) were all standing, dithering at the corner, giggling and laughing like conspiratorial morons. Even in this fucking heat, they'd somehow managed to keep their makeup and shiny lip glosses intact. They looked like they just came out of the shower.

They were serious bitches, those girls. Wanda had realized that by the beginning of tenth grade. She'd tried for ages and ages—like the pathetic fucktard she was—to be friends with them. She'd spent endless nights, tossing around in bed and thinking of conversation openers. But when she'd talk with them, they'd either roll their hooker-like mascara-covered eyes at each other or burst into peals of spiteful, arrogant laughter. Wanda had tagged along like a horny groupie lusting after a huge-cock rockstar. Though everyone knew and whispered voraciously, as if she was deaf, that she wasn't a part of their group and never would be. Those morons always ignored her or asked shit things like whether it was true she'd lived beside a dumpster.

All of which was true. Fucking honestly.

Citrus, meanwhile, was looking everywhere around the playground. Other than those three mean whores, most of the other goddamn girls of their group—they'd no boys in their clique—(surprise! Surprise! They were boy-chasers, not even fucking feminists) had already scattered faraway. They were acting as if they were too good and Citrus, the clumsy oaf, would never catch them.

That was some strategic honest shit, Wanda thought sardonically to herself as she eyed the bumbling, talkative moron hurling herself towards her.

Oh God, why the fuck is Citrus running towards ONLY me? Wanda panicked. Great, I'm Citrus' target!

Wanda started running like a fucking elephant out of breath. That's because she was one—a fucking, morbidly obese elephant. She'd the biggest boobs in her class. Her ass was as big as one of Jupiter's moon. Or something close to that. She'd once seen in TV how this fucking scrawny, ugly moronic dude had a huge, overweight fucking wife. She was so fat that it was unbelievable. Man, her boobs were something, all fleshy and bulging. I wonder how big her nipples were. And he'd loved her, that ugly thin moron. He'd said, in an interview, "I love fat girls. I'm insanely attracted to my wife. I don't feel anything towards thin women. That's my opinion." That might be because your dick is so small and her vagina is like an ocean to you. And her boobs are mountains of ice-cream you can lick and ravish.

But still it was quite nice that a guy like that moron existed, Wanda thought fairly to herself as she tried her best to get away from that idiotic Citrus. She wasn't really running, though. She couldn't. She was merely walking like the uncoordinated retard that she was. Guys like that thin moron didn't exist in real life. Period. He was probably doing this for publicity, who knew? And especially not in this Holy Shit of a School, would you ever find anything but Satan's Sperms.

And Wanda wasn't just fat, she knew that. She was the ugliest retard in their class. Only a few guys would top her off and she wasn't a guy in the first place. All those fucking facial hair and moustache that had started sprouting across her big bulgy, double-chinned face. Puberty did some shit, that was for sure.

She must've done some crazy sins in her past life now that God was taking His sweet revenge upon her.

Wanda started dodging behind trees and other playground equipment. Though she couldn't run like a normal person, at least she'd had the moderate cleverness to hide behind rotten stuffs and avoid that manic, hormone-driven Citrus. Their school, by the way, actually had trees in the playground. They were green like the vomit that the girl in Exorcist spat out. Their principal was the Mother of Autistic Assholes, that's what she was.

'Why are you chasing this fat autistic retard?' Jared, one of the most popular guys of their class, called out viciously as Citrus still wouldn't give up and continued running as if Wanda was her lover and they were in the fucking Apocalypse.

'What's your problem?' Citrus snapped out, but not too loudly. Everyone was scared of Jared's taunts and jeers.

However, both of them heard.

Wanda felt a sudden rush of gratitude and guilt towards the curly-haired, girl and a familiar spark of anger and hurt at Jared. Why can't he just leave me alone? She was so fucking tired of his constant taunting. Every day, every fucking moment, even when she'd think he'd forgotten her, Jared would come back with vengeance and spite.

'You're It!' Citrus suddenly cried out and launched her hand at Wanda's big back and hit her with a stinging blow.

And here I was, feeling guilty for you, Wanda thought bitterly as Citrus ran away as far as she could. Those assholes took their games too seriously. There was no way Wanda could ever catch anyone in tag. Face it, she was a fat boar.

Jared eyed at her silently, a big sardonic, vicious smile cloaking his golden face. He was, actually, extermely hot. Seriously fucking hot. And tanned like those Brazilian models who did sex shows live.

'You disgusting, ugly, fat retard!' Jared spat out, growling and laughing maniacally. Other boys also crowded around, all of them hooting in unison.

Wanda turned away, a piercing stab of pain echoing inside her heart. It was pointless not to admit the truth. Jared was beautiful and hot. And she had an insane crush on him, despite the shit he'd pull through her constantly.

She blushed, like the red fucking tomato her face was, as Jared and his followers left, talking loudly and insulting her appearance.

Her eyes stung with tears, but they didn't fall. They knew better than that. But she was so hurt and mad. So fucking hurt and mad. It just wasn't fair. It just wasn't fucking fair, she thought, a silent sob ringing in her ears.

But somehow after recess, class continued and Wanda once again managed to get through it like every day. They had a huge project assigned for today. Their English Teacher told them to go home and write a diary and record their thoughts on page. Fucking Diary, Wanda thought sullenly to herself, this is just the fucking beginning. Finally, the school bell rang, cutting out the teacher's droning voice, and Wanda was finally free to go to the shit hole that her home was…

'Do you know this hot piece of exchange student called Ian is coming?' Fuckbird or someone was saying excitedly.

Bleh, another typical Jared, Wanda thought as she passed them. But…she was such a romantic porn-lover, that's what she was. She couldn't help imagining what would happen if Ian fell for...

Fuck herself.