Akatsuki's Week With Baby Itachi

Summary: Orochimaru tries to control Itachi with a jutsu, but it backfires and the Akatsuki are left with a few problems on their less than care-capable hands. Thank Kami it was reversible!

"You have got to be kidding me." Was all Uzumaki Nagato, AKA Pein, the leader of the infamous criminal organization known as the Akatsuki, could say at the sight that greeted him and Konan.

It had been an ordinary day, although a bit cold for such a late spring day with the promise of a storm. But that was perfectly normal. They were just outside of the territory of Amegakure and in the direction of Kirigakure, so it was to be expected that they get more rain than sunny days and especially in spring or autumn. So, yes. Perfectly normal.

That is until they got a tip that Orochimaru had actually gathered the balls to come their way again, if their informant was to be believed and he was, since he was another one of Sasori's sleeper agents. Sasori had, of course, instantly demanded that he be allowed to go and hunt down the traitorous snake and drag back his body so he can clear the disgrace from his name because of the Sannin. Kakuzu had explicitly disagreed, demanding that he went to retrieve Orochimaru so they could sell his corpse to a bounty hunter for the nice sum of money it would bring them. Hidan and Deidara disagreed even more, since Deidara was pissed off that Orochimaru has survived his bombing of the snake's hideout in Suna and the zealot just wanted to kill something, so he figured why not Orochimaru.

But as they argued, Kisame asked one simple, yet immensely important question.

"Where is Itachi-san?"

Pein had cursed up a storm, remembering Orochimaru's all too obvious obsession with the Uchiha and had ordered his men to forget about the Sannin for the moment and to focus on finding Itachi. Sure, the fifteen and a half years old was probably the least likely to lose a fight against Orochimaru even on his worst of days but Pein would rather be safe than sorry. Itachi might be a perfect ninja but he was still human.

So they had set out on their mission to retrieve the weasel, who, according to Kisame, had went out into the surrounding forest to train, like he usually did in the period between him waking up and lunch. The forest, although not nearly as large, thick or confusing as Konoha's, was still pretty damn hard to search through, especially when you were searching for a training ninja of Itachi's caliber. The Uchiha tended to prefer training alone than with others, even his partner despite how close they have seemingly gotten. Kisame respected his partner's wishes and left him to it, but Pein was sure he was seriously regretting it now.

They split up, hoping to cover more ground that way and search faster. Pein even had his other bodies out and searching, two sticking close to Kisame since the man was alone and no doubt in a slight panic the more time went by without them finding his partner. But they were having little luck. When Itachi didn't want to be found, he won't be until he is good and ready to reveal himself. Any other time, it would be admirable. Right now it was so annoying that Deidara blew up a few trees and Kakuzu didn't stop Hidan from killing a dozen squirrels. Tobi was unnaturally quiet as more and more time passed and Konan was starting to fear the worst when a strange chakra wave hit them, Pein barely managing to catch his girlfriend in time before they were both knocked over. The chakra he sensed felt wrong but the undercurrents that revealed its user was all too familiar and Pein grit his teeth. They had found Orochimaru and Pein had no doubt Itachi was there, too. Konan and he exchanged looks before sprinting at top speeds in the direction that the shock wave had originated from.

When they arrived, that particular part of the forest looked as though Jiraiya-sensei's giant toads, Gamabunta in particular, had thrown a temper tantrum and had stomped all over quite a few yards of woodland area. Many trees were downed, their branches broken and ripped straight out of the ground, the roots still desperately clinging to some earth. A good few patches of ground were singed and others looked as though an explosion had left a crater there. Speaking of craters, there was a really big one in the center of the new clearing, a shed skin from Orochimaru's regeneration healing jutsu flying in a breeze out of the hole.

It was what greeted them at the edge of the hole that had garnered such a reaction from Nagato. He rubbed his eyes, thinking - hoping - he was seeing things and that this was just some crazy dream or something. But it was not. His Rinnegan eyes don't lie to him and he could clearly feel the familiar, refined chakra signature, so this was no illusion or hallucination, no matter how much he wished it were otherwise. But cruel reality stared at him in the eyes in the form of two narrowed black eyes and a tightly, expertly gripped kunai in a small hand.

"Stay back." Pein arched an eyebrow at the order but stayed where he was, not wanting to antagonize the wielder of said weapon. "Who are you? Where am I?" The questions were asked in a sure, demanding voice but no answers were forthcoming, so black eyes narrowed further into a rather intimidating scowl, if the ginger was being honest. "What do you want?"

"We mean you no harm," Konan said gently, kneeling to be eye level with the fierce little fighter. "We want to help you but you need to trust us. Okay?" She stayed perfectly still as those impossibly dark eyes studied her, searching for a threat, a hint of a lie and no doubt her weak spots, should he find her lying. And Konan would be lying if she said the throughout scan didn't unnerve her at all. After what seemed like an eternity, the black eyed one nodded, lowering his weapon but never putting it away, keeping a steady grip. Konan knew this was the best she'll get until they earn his trust. So she smiled at him as she introduced herself and her partner. "My name is Konan and that is Pein. You are at the edges of Amegakure's territory and we heard you were in trouble. We just want to help."

They saw him look away from them to the floating discarded, freaky skin that Orochimaru had left behind upon fleeing from the scene. Judging from the thing, he'd been stabbed in the gut and his left arm was grazed by a blade, probably the bloody kunai that had been prepared to slice into them, too.

"Why would Orochimaru-san attack me?" Konan and Pein exchanged a look. "He always seemed friendly... if a bit strange."

"We don't know." The man lied, deciding not to go into any unnecessary detail. But they had to get back to base before they and their little companion could run into any more trouble. "But we should get going." He extended a hand for him to take and Konan smiled as she offered him her hand, too. Small, pale hands hesitated before gripping the offered hands. But he didn't move for a while, just standing there and Pein and Konan not wanting to push or rush him waited him out. Finally, he nodded and looked up at him, making Pein's lips twitch upwards of their own valuation at how adorable those eyes looked without a glare. Konan just cooed at him. "Let's go, Itachi."

"Hai." Uchiha Itachi, aged four, said as he let the two adults to lead him away.

00000

"Itachi-san?!" A fretting Kisame dropped to his knees in front of his miniaturized partner, staring at him in disbelief and worry in his yellow, beady eyes. The little boy just blinked up at him, cocking his head to the side and studying the interesting blue man. Big hands reached out for him and, much to Kisame's relief, Itachi didn't pull away as he touched his shoulders and hair lightly, needing physical evidence that what he was seeing was real.

The child offered him a small smile that was just so Itachi that Kisame was left with no doubt. This was his young ... even younger partner. "Hello."

"Aw, fuck!" Hidan crowed, startling Kisame out of his shock and prompting Itachi to hide behind Konan and Pein, earning the Jashinist the latter's glare. "He's so damned cute!"

"It's to be expected." Kakuzu said with a nod, staring at the kid clinging to the robes of their leader and his girlfriend. "He does grow to be quite attractive."

Hidan promptly stopped laughing and glared at his partner slash lover. "You into little boys now, Kakuzu?" He hissed and the ancient shinobi snorted at the zealot.

"I am just being realistic about his looks. I know beauty when I see it and beauty has been rooted in the Uchiha's genes for centuries." He turned his strange green eyes on the child again. "It just seems to have culminated in Itachi."

"You're sleeping on the couch, asshole!" With that, Hidan stormed up towards their shared room in the sleeping quarters of the base. A moment later, they heard what sounded like pillows and sheets being thrown out of the zealot's and miser's room, followed by his toothbrush and even his money cabinet. Then the door was slammed, sealing Kakuzu's fate. The oldest shinobi could only sigh before turning back to the matter of their youngest member becoming even younger. Itachi now barely reached any of their hips, his luscious hair only reached above his shoulders and his eyes seemed huge on his cherubic face. How the kid went from gorgeous to cute because of one jutsu, Kakuzu will never understand.

Or rather, how Itachi had become so hot at such a young age. When he had first seen the kid, he still actually looked like a kid. But the boy grew a head taller by the time he saw him next. By Juzo's death, Itachi looked more adult like than most twenty year olds. He'd matured a great deal in that time and became the inspiration for many a people's wet dreams. Kakuzu had needed a bit of an adaptation period, as had Sasori back then. To see Itachi even cuter than they already know him to be ... Well, when he returned to his real age, it won't really matter that they are completely loyal and devoted to their partners. Hell, even their partners will be staring! Kakuzu paused to wonder how Kisame will take it all. His rather huge crush on the weasel might get out in the open if he's not careful.

"So, what, un? Itachi-dana's like, five or something, un?" Deidara finally asked, looking at the Uchiha curiously. How could this little boy grow to be that unstoppable, unbeatable shinobi he had first met?

"Four." The miniaturized Uchiha said, earning him everyone's attention. He hid a little more behind Konan, obviously not all that comfortable with the stares he was getting. "I am four years old."

"He speaks rather fluently for a four year old brat." Sasori commented with a grunt, coming closer to inspect the child a little bit better. "I used to have a lisp at that age and my grammar was horrendous."

"Itachi-san is a genius." The shark man said with a shrug. ''He probably figured it all out when he was really young and soon perfected it.''

"I don't think this is the topic of conversation we should be having," the only girl in the organization pointed out. "We need to figure out what to do with him. Missions are obviously out of the question, but what should we do with him then?"

"We're not wasting money on baby gear." Kakuzu immediately snapped. "Do you have any idea how expensive that stuff is?"

Itachi frowned in displeasure at being called a baby and made his displeasure known very clearly. "I am not a baby. I don't require anything special. I spend most of my time training and studying, anyway, so you don't need to get me anything. In fact, the most fun activity I get to do on an almost daily basis is balancing the Clan's check book." The adults gapped at the boy but Itachi just shrugged, which earned a bit more staring. After all, you usually never see Itachi shrug, snort or roll his eyes. He was too polite for that. But, then again, he was still only a child right now. He probably learned to keep the urges to make those reactions to himself as he got older.

Then it finally dawned on Kakuzu the implications behind Itachi's words. "Wait, are you telling me you know how to deal finances?" At the incredulous tone of voice the man used, the child tilted his head and stared at him as though he was weird.

"Yes," he answered a bit hesitantly. "The adults are all out fighting in the war and those who are left at the Compound usually have to look after children or something like that so they don't have the time to focus on it. Especially not for the entire Clan. So instead they give it to me to do."

"A child shouldn't be forced into doing that!" Konan protested, suddenly scooping Itachi up from where he had been still holding onto her and Pein's robes. She looked him in the eye boldly and was impressed that Itachi met her gaze as though he were still an adult- well, teen, to be precise. Itachi just acted so mature most of the time that they even forget he's not sixteen yet. "Itachi, you won't have to deal with the finances here, okay? Kakuzu is the one who balances our check books and all that. You can go and play and do whatever you like doing."

The child's eyes seem to brighten up a bit so Konan expertly ignores Kakuzu's protests that even he could use some help every once in a while. "I can read?" At her surprised expression, he elaborates, mistaking it for shock that he was asking about being allowed to read instead of it being surprise that he can read at all at such a young age. "I am usually only allowed to read scrolls with geography, jutsts or history in them. I mean, yes, I love the history ones but I'd like to read about other things, too. Maybe about plants or distant places or other cultures. I'd really like to read other people's thoughts!" The boy seemed to be getting more and more excited as he talked about the topics that interest him. "Chichiue calls them philosophers and weaklings who give meaningless and useless theories, but they're called wise and I would really like to read about wise people's thoughts and lives. Can I?"

"Your father must have never read anything those wise people wrote," Kisame said as he finally got back up to his full height. He watched as awe flashed across the little Uchiha's face when he saw just how tall the blue man was. It didn't seem to intimidate him. Nothing ever seemed to. "I personally think they're all awesome. But being around my partner kind of got me into it in the first place. He's a bit of a philosopher, too."

Itachi's eyes widened a bit more. "Really? Can I meet him?" He suddenly looked a bit shy, drawing himself closer to Konan who cooed at how cute he was. "I mean, if it's no trouble, that is."

"So cute." Was all the kunoichi said as she nuzzled their cheeks. The Uchiha actually flushed a little.

Kisame just grinned at his little partner, completely agreeing with Konan. Itachi was just too cute. "I'm sure he'd love to but he's out on a mission. You know how busy ninjas could be." If they expected the boy to deflate or to pout like a disappointed child, they got it wrong. Itachi just nodded understandingly and let the matter drop.

Pein took this moment to stir the conversation back on track. "We will watch Itachi until this thing wears off and he returns to normal. If it takes too long, we'll hunt down Orochimaru and make him reverse it."

"We should just hunt him down and make him do it now, un." Deidara said, crossing his arms and staring at the child in a whole new light. He had just realized that this boy of four was actually the prick of an Uchiha who had trapped him in a genjutsu when they first met. Sure, Deidara had refused to join the Akatsuki and Itachi had said what would happen if he lost but he had never anticipated the almost artistic qualities of Itachi's technique. He had never been so in awe by someone else's art and so he hated Itachi for making him feel like that. He wasn't going to change his attitude for a little boy who is still actually the guy he hates. "I won't play babysitter, un."

"As if we'd let you guys take care of a child." The kunoichi all but hissed, bringing Itachi closer to herself as thought to shield him from the very idea. "Hell no. You'd kill him!"

"We wouldn-"

Sasori's protests were ignored as Pein picked up for his partner. "Itachi will stay in our room until we can all get settled in with the idea that a kid is running around the base. If he wants, he can stay with Kisame some times, or if Konan and I can't stay at the base. Zetsu is already out searching for Orochimaru with Tobi, so hopefully, once they find him, we can make the bastard turn Itachi back and then kill him once and for all. But until then, all of you are to be on your best behavior. No explosions, no poisons, no rituals or sacrifices, no cursing, no fights and no sweets. I hear kids get extra hyper from them."

"So, if we're not taking care of the kid," Kakuzu had to ask. "Who is?"

"Whoever said you won't be taking care of him?" Pein countered, lifting his hand up to ruffle Itachi's short hair. It was still as soft as silk and the same color of ash it usually is, but it was very short now. It barely reached his shoulders, as opposed to his ponytail that he usually wears and it reaches his middle back. Itachi seemed a bit unused to the gesture and the attention he was getting but he said nothing and let it happen. The others gaped at their Leader, although Kisame looked a bit relieved that he still got to fuss over the Uchiha like he discretely does every now and again. "You'll just not spend all that much time with him at once. For instance, we will have a rotation. Everyone has to look after him for two hours. Once that is up, you either bring him to the next person or wait for them to come and pick him up." He went to continue but Itachi stopped him.

"That really is not necessary, sir." He said respectfully but his eyes were very serious. "There is no need for that. I can take care of myself. There is no need to burden others."

"Itachi, kids aren't burdens." The ginger haired man replied. "They should be considered precious, be protected and cared for. Whoever calls a child a burden is a cold bastard of a man."

"I am so installing a swear jar," Konan mumbled under her breathe and Itachi chuckled, really quietly so only Pein and Konan heard. It brought on strangely tender smiles from the two Akatsuki leaders. "How can he be this cute?"

"I'll make a rotion for taking care of Itachi. Everyone will have at least half an hour a day with him. That's the least we can do." The others present nodded and Pein turned his attention back to the four year old. "Would you like something to eat?"

Itachi just nodded slowly and Konan smiled as she walked towards the kitchen, never once lessening her grip on the toddler. The other could just watch before shrugging and going their own way, Kakuzu in particular to either threaten or beg his partner and lover to let him back into their room. Pein sighed before leaving the base altogether, knowing they will still need kiddie stuff and especially some clothes for Itachi. He can't exactly go around in the clothes his teenage self would usually wear, after all.

00000

"Thank you for the meal, Konan-san." Itachi politely intoned after finishing his two rice balls, feeling full for the moment. He was currently sitting on one of the counter tops in the kitchen while the woman in question made breakfast. The purple haired girl smiled at how polite Itachi was even as a child and couldn't help but ruffle his hair affectionately just because she could. She had seen a thirteen year old Itachi and had thought him awfully cute, the blood of his relatives not withstanding. Back then, she had fought down urges to hug him or mess with his hair or even pinch his cheeks. Now, he was even cuter than she had thought possible. The urges were much stronger now but he didn't seem to mind. "That's a really pretty origami." That statement, however, reminded her that it was still the same Itachi, be he four, thirteen or fifteen and a half years old. He was still as perceptive as ever, his eyes all but all-seeing. "Did you make it?" The curious child asked, tilting his head to the side in a very adorable way.

'So cute,' she thought as she smiled gently at the boy. "Thank you and yes, I have made it myself." And wasn't she just proud! Itachi very rarely commented on what he perceived to be pretty as a teenager. It came from his desire not to get caught up in Sasori's and Deidara's annoying art arguments or get bombarded with that something by Tobi in an attempt to piss him off, as many believed. To hear a compliment like that was a real treat to her own artist side and inflated her ego quite a bit. She briefly wondered if this was why Itachi rarely gave praise to anyone. If this were to happen often enough, Konan felt as though she'd end up becoming arrogant. After all, a pride can be inflated only so much and only for so long before people got overly cocky.

"I never got to learn to make origami." The child mumbled, instantly bringing Konan's attention back to him. "I always found it fascinating, how paper can take on so many shapes with the right pattern followed. It's mystifying."

'He has a pretty advanced vocabulary for someone his age,' she observed but she suddenly felt excitement when his words registered. Itachi liked origami? "Would you like to learn how?" Big black eyes brightened at the offer and Itachi nodded enthusiastically. Konan wanted to giggle. It was so unlike Itachi to be this expressive. It was definitely something she could get used to but knew it won't be staying that way when the Uchiha returns to his regular age. "Okay," she said, abandoning the dinner altogether and sitting both herself and Itachi at the table. She took up a napkin pack and placed it on the table between them before placing a napkin in front of them each. She took hers up and saw how Itachi was already mimicking every move she made. She paused to look at his eyes but they were their normal black. "This is how we begin."

When later asked, Konan would be unable to say where the time went as she pretended to be unable to explain to six hungry missing ninjas why their dinner consisted of only bread, peanut butter and jelly. Though the beautiful paper rose in Itachi's hair and the expertly made paper weasel in his hands might have given her away.

00000

The next morning, when Pein got out of his bed and prepared to face yet another day of being the Leader of a bunch of crazy, homicidal murderers that made up the Akatsuki, he had not been expecting to find Itachi already awake and in the kitchen. In the cute little pajamas they'd managed to get him that consisted of a T-shit and pants, black with white weasel prints all over them, the little genius was busying himself with making coffee and omlettes that smelled absolutely divine when Pein walked in. Itachi had no problems reaching all the shelves or the stove, as he was, much to Pein's great surprise, using chakra suction at his feet to climb up wherever he needed to be, easily overseeing and reaching everything as he prepared the delicious breakfast for the still sleeping adults. Pein was not quite as surprised to see the perfectly roasted toast already pilled up on a big plate in the middle of the dinning table, along with a few fruits and vegetables placed on each plate. Even at a young age, Itachi preferred a healthy meal, it would seem.

"Itachi?" He called out and the boy looked at him over his shoulder, not seeming surprised by his sudden appearance.

"Good morning, Leader-sama." The child politely said, stirring the eggs so they won't end up sticking to the pan. He looked awfully comfortable doing that. Pein shuddered to think that the boy had had to cook for himself, and possibly others, at such a young age. Just what were the Uchiha thinking?

"Good morning. And you don't have to call me that. My name is Nagato." He was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't even register he had, once again, told Itachi to call him by his real name. When Itachi had first arrived at their hideout some two years ago, Nagato had sensed how different the boy was. He had introduced himself as Pein back then, too, but within the first month of Itachi being in the Akatsuki, Pein had grown to greatly respect him, as a ninja, as a person and as a comrade. One might even make the mistake of calling them friends, had Nagato not been Itachi's employer. Pein had told the Uchiha to address him as Nagato as long as they were alone or around only Konan. Itachi always had to be reminded, since he respected Nagato back a great deal, so it almost became a habit to correct Itachi when they were alone. Konan found it very amusing. "Why are you up so early? You don't have to make breakfast for us. We take turns in doing that, too."

Itachi returned to the frying pan and all was quiet except for the sizzling of oil until Itachi deemed the big batch of omlettes ready and served it on the table, setting the spatula and a knife as well. Pein got a good look and a long whiff of the food and found his mouth watering. There were little bits of sausages in the mix and quite a few different herbs had been added, as well as Parmesan. It was a meal fit for a king. "I'm used to waking up early. And I usually have to help with breakfast at the camp."

"Camp?"

The Uchiha nodded, easily jumping up onto his chair and sitting on his knees so he can easily reach his own plate. "The war encampment of Konoha shinobi just outside the first forests surrounding the village." Pein stiffened at this but Itachi, for once, didn't seem to notice as he continued talking. "Chichiue wants me to understand the life of a ninja so he took me with him. Minato-sama wasn't very happy when he learned that father had taken me out to the battlefield last month so he insisted that I be brought back to the village. He seems to be of the mind that Chichiue wants to send me out to battle next."

"You saw a war zone after a battle?" The ginger asked incredulously. "That's at times more dangerous than a battle itself!" After all, the injured survivors tend to be desperate at that time, clinging to life as they know even an ally might kill them if they were deemed too injured to waste their medical supplies on them. At such a time, there was no such thing as a ally and comrade. Ninja are taught to put the mission above everything else so killing comrades was nothing new.

"Oh, I saw battle, too." The Uchiha replied in as casual a voice as a child could produce when talking about such an experience. Sure, Itachi actually managed to sound casual but his hands were clenched into tight fists, trembling slightly as they gripped his pajama pants. The Rinnegan user could just stare at the Sharingan wielder. He had not expected that. "I was watching from afar on top of a cliff, yes, and it was dark, but I saw it. The war. And when the battle ended, I went down to the field. So many bodies," a shudder ran through the smaller of the two early risers. "All that blood ... And i shed some of it, too." Nagato startled at this, gawking at the boy with trepidation. Itachi saw this and smiled sadly. "I would rather not talk about it, if you don't mind, Nagato-kun."

"Yes, I understand." The ginger hurried to reassure the child. "Sorry to make you so uncomfortable." They sat in silence for a long while, unsure as to what they were allowed to say now and which topics were best avoided. Pein had known Itachi was always avoiding unnecessary killing but he had never thought it to be because the teen had seen war and possibly killed at such a young age. It ought to have been traumatizing. The first kill was always the worst. Witnessing a war changed a person. Being in it reformed them completely. Is that how Itachi came to snap and kill his clansmen? Was he avenging his lost innocence and childhood? After all, no killer was a child, not anymore, anyway. But that somehow doesn't seem like Itachi's style. But the only thing other than becoming a mass murderer after the trauma of seeing war at such an age is to become a pacifist. That also doesn't fit in with Itachi's reputation. After all, a man who kills his own flesh and blood isn't exactly a peace lover.

His musings were interrupted when a yawning Kisame walked into the kitchen, still seeming out of it so he didn't notice his leader and little partner. However, Itachi noticed him and seemed to brighten up instantly and a small smile pulled across his pale lips. Completely understandable. Kisame was very fond of his partner and protective, too. Kids tended to feel it when someone means them harm or good will. Kisame would never hurt Itachi and his younger self seemed to have detected this. That, or some form of an unconscious part of the teen Itachi was still aware of his surroundings and felt at ease with the man he trusted, in battle and in everything else.

When Kisame finally turned, he saw the child version of his partner and frowned for a second before remembering what had occurred yesterday and a friendly grin split his lips. "Good morning, Itachi-san. I hope you slept well."

It always fascinated Pein how his employees interacted, these two especially. Their dynamic was different from everyone else's. Sasori was many years older than Deidara and, following tradition, Sasori was the one who gave orders and Deidara followed. He even called the Akasuna Sasori no dana, or Sasori-dana. Hidan was, once again, many years younger than Kakuzu. Add in that Kakuzu was the first ever immortal kind of made it clear who was in charge, despite him being a lot less immortal than Hidan. Hidan cursed and complained but when it came down to it, he was still the one following Kakuzu's orders. Their private interactions weren't much different, for either team. Even in their relationships, Sasori and Kakuzu were the ones leading. They, after all, had more experience.

Then there was his number one team, Kisame and Itachi. They were the exception to all rules. Their dynamic was obvious and very surprising. After all, Kisame was a decade older than Itachi, bigger, physically stronger and had more chakra. His life as a ninja was also a lot longer than Itachi's, rather impressive, career. Yet it was clear who would win in their fight. It was clear who lead and who followed. What Itachi says is law for Kisame. An order from the Uchiha seemed to be higher in Kisame's priority list than even Pein's orders were. Where Itachi went, Kisame followed. Sure, Kisame was the one who always took a protective stance for his partner but Itachi was still the one leading. He didn't know if that would transcend even into a romantic relationship, should one ever develop between those two. He wouldn't be all that surprised. But that somehow still seemed ... too much. Then again, he wasn't one to judge such relationships. Konan was perhaps the one better suited for that. She was a yaoi fangirl and all that.

Instead, he observed the two partners. Despite Kisame being so much older than Itachi - now especially, when Itachi was eleven years younger than he usually was - the blue man still addressed his smaller partner with great respect and undying loyalty. The adoration in his eyes wouldn't be missed by even the blind. Itachi saw this as well, but perhaps he misunderstood it? He was a child, after all.

"Good morning, Kisame. And yes, I slept quite well." The child replied still with that small smile and Kisame sat beside the prodigy. He looked at the eggs curiously before looking back at his partner.

"Woke up as early as ever?" Itachi just nodded and Kisame grinned and reached for the spatula to take some eggs, only to yelp when Itachi slapped his hand. "Itachi-san!" The blue man complained and said boy scowled at him.

"Wait for the rest."

"They won't wake up anytime soon, Itachi." Pein added, eying the breakfast and wondering if he can somehow snatch some of it away without getting slapped himself. "We may as well eat our portion now and leave the rest for the others."

"Thanks, honey," a sarcastic voice said from the entrance of the kitchen and Nagato repressed a flinch. Konan came in and sat next to him, a glare on her face. "I'm so glad you care for us so much."

"Um," was all the purple eyed man stuttered as his girlfriend continued glaring.

"What smells so good!?" Hidan's shouting saved Pein. "I'm fucking starving!"

"Must you be so loud so early in the morning?" That was Sasori, snapping at the zealot. The three grown up Akatsuki could just imagine the irritated look on his face.

"Why are we even awake now, un?" The sleepy blond asked, sounding as though he was about to just fall back asleep as he was walking down the stairs. Deidara was not a morning person.

"Because time is money and you are waisting it by sleeping in. Kisame and Itachi can't go on missions so it's up to us to pick up their missions." Kakuzu logically and coldly stated, earning a groan from both Deidara and Hidan.

"Why the fuck do those two bastards even have so many damned missions on demand?"

"Because they are our best team," Kakuzu replied. "I personally think it might have to do a lot with their reputations from before joining the Akatsuki. After all, the weasel's body count records top even mine and I'm the oldest one here."

"You seem to be obsessed with him, un," Deidara commented and the other three snorted.

"Says the one who spends 20 hours of each day thinking up ways how you'd get back at him for beating you and making you join the Akatsuki." Sasori retorted just as they entered the kitchen, only to find themselves at the receiving end of three glares and one curious black eyed stare.

"Was it something that we said?"

00000

Later that afternoon, Pein was a bit surprised to hear a knock on his doors. He looked up from the pile of paperwork strewn across his desk and called out for whomever it was to come in, arching an eyebrow when he saw their littlest member entering the room with a tray on which he had placed two cups of tea and some biscuits, a hopeful look on that pale little face. "May I come in?"

Pein couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. The kid really was quite endearing. "Please do, Itachi." The boy walked quietly in and shut the door behind himself before gracefully jumping onto the seat in front of Pein's desk and placing the undisturbed tray on the desk. The Akatsuki leader watched all of this with an arched eyebrow before addressing the Uchiha. "What brings you here?"

"Konan-san said that you don't usually take breaks or come out to eat lunch due to work. I just wanted to bring you some refreshments and see if you needed any help."

Nagato's other eyebrow joined the first. Sure, this wasn't the first time Itachi pulled a stunt like this. The Uchiha tended to frown upon anyone who didn't treat their body right. Even Sasori, who needed no sleep nor nutrition, was no exception. The other Akatsuki members don't even notice it, but Itachi often places fruits and snacks around them whenever they are busy with something to the point of forgetting to eat, simply assuming that they had taken that food with them to eat later. Itachi knew how important it was to take care of one's body when someone is a ninja. One must be in perfect shape in order to survive missions.

Itachi had come to him with this offer a couple of times before, but he had always declined. Does his worrywart personality come from such a young age? "I don't think you'll find it all that fun. It's actually very dull."

Itachi shrugged and leaned in a bit closer to take a look at the paperwork, most of which were reports from previous missions or requests for new ones. Pein had trouble sorting out all the missions he now has to reassign from Itachi and Kisame to the other teams. A few of them will be especially tricky for anyone but those two to do. After all, one included interrogating a feudal lord for their client but there to be no traces of an interrogation, even in the man's mind. For that, the Sharingan would have been perfect, as only a few people even knew how to detect the after effects of those blood red eyes. Especially if it was Itachi who cast those jutsus.

"Most people call boring what I consider fun or interesting." He looked down for a second to sigh. "I ... feel uncomfortable when I don't have something to occupy my mind with. It brings out so much thoughts from me that I often fall into a state of meditation so deep that it scares people with how long it takes them to bring me out of it."

"And what are these thought?" The ginger asked carefully, wondering if Itachi's psychopathic tendencies had shown so early on and if people had just ... missed them or assumed they were just by products of a genius child's mind. Now was his perfect chance to find out a bit more about his most deadly employee.

"What is a clan? What is a Village? What is a shinobi?" The little raven haired boy asked, one after the other. "Why do people fight? What is reality? Is it an illusion? Is there such a thing as fate? What is life? Does it have a meaning? What is death? Does it have a meaning? Why is there war? What is peace?"

Nagato could feel that his jaw was unhinged as he stared at the Uchiha, a four year old boy, who had just rattled off some of the most philosophical questions Pein had ever heard. This ... he was not expecting. He was honestly expecting something a bit more childish or something far more murderous. For Itachi to have such thoughts as a child and for them to plague him ... What was he thinking upon now, eleven years later?

"You think abut this a lot?" He asked after he regained his composure. The boy nodded as he reached over to the biscuits and took one, nibbling on it serenely as he watched his elder. "How often? Since when?"

"Since a few months ago, when I saw the war."

This ... didn't make any sense anymore. If Itachi had really been pondering these things since he was so young, why would he become a Clan Killer ten years later? "Have you ever found answers to any of these questions?"

"A shinobi is he who endures and protects from the shadows, without recognition or fame. A Village is what must be protected, civilians who cannot protect themselves, comrades in arms and one big family. A clan is a group of people with the same blood flowing through their veins although they might not be a family."

"I don't understand that last one," the Uzumaki interrupted before his little companion could go on. He was truthfully a little overwhelmed by all the things he was hearing from a child of four, never mind if it was Uchiha Itachi.

"Family is when people are close to one another, when there is understanding, respect and equality among all members involved. Because a clan has a hierarchy, it cannot be defined as a family. Friends are the family we choose. A clan's members might be related but they could be as close to each other as the ground and the sky, that is, not at all." Well, when you put it that way, it sounded perfectly logical. And a toddler got this faster than most adults did.

"Did you find any other answers?" Who knew a conversation with someone twenty something years younger than you could be so stimulating?

Itachi shook his head a bit regretfully. "I'm still trying to figure the other things out."

Pein nodded, leaning back and studying the should be fifteen year old. "You're awfully smart, Itachi. Do you read a lot?"

"Hai," the blushing boy answered, still unused to the praise he gets. Nagato wondered if he'd ever really gotten used to it or if he'd just learned to cover his reactions to them. He watched as the boy took up his tea and blew away the steam before taking a sip. The beverage seemed to please him and he relaxed.

"I could show you later to the communal library we have here. You can read anything you like."

"I'd rather stay here for a while, if you don't mind." Itachi said hesitantly, a frown on his face. "Konan-san was right. You really do look like you might need help to sort all of that out." The boy looked up from the paperwork to the ginger haired man. "I can help?"

"This is mission sorting. Very little of it has to do with numbers." Nagato warned but handed over a file to Itachi that had particularly been bugging him. He wanted Itachi's thoughts on it. It was about genjutsu, his field of expertise. "And you'll need to acquaint yourself with the assets' abilities." He added, gesturing towards the files on everyone but Kisame and Itachi himself. The boy glanced at them before opening the first file, getting down to work. Pein watched him for a minute before returning to the matter of that interrogation of a feudal lord.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when a soft but firm voice ordered: "Eat your biscuits and drink your tea."

00000

"Have any of you seen Itachi?" Kisame asked as dinner time slowly rolled by, the Akatsuki members slowly filing into the kitchen where Konan had just finished a delicious Italian meal none of them could pronounce correctly. "I haven't seen him since midday, after I showed him around a little bit."

"Last I know, he was with Pein." The only female in the organization answered, putting the pot on the table. Sasori and Deidara paused in their argument of what was the more artistic approach to setting a table to sniff at the delicious meal before getting right back to it. "But that was hours ago." She huffed as she snatched the utensils from the artists and set up the table herself, like normal people do. "What could they be doing?"

"Maybe Pein found a way to reverse the jutsu before it wore out?" Kakuzu halfheartedly suggested, scowling at the checkbook he had dared bring to the table. Konan forbade anything possibly work related being brought to the table, claiming for that to be the only time of day, other than sleeping (although it has happened quite a lot of times then, too) that Pein wasn't surrounded by paperwork. If she allowed even one of them to bring work to dinner, Pein would claim he, too, had the right to do just one little thing that would be turned into a mountain of paperwork in a matter of minutes. So Konan forbade it. The glare she sent Kakuzu's way should have reminded him of that. But he was far too immersed in the ways to save money from being unnecessarily spent to notice he's made a taboo.

"Unfortunately, no, I didn't." They all jumped when Pein suddenly spoke from the doorway, where he was standing with a slightly tired looking Itachi in his arms. "But I did achieve a miracle." He boasted proudly, hefting the child a bit higher to indicate they should know Itachi had something to do with it, too. "With Itachi's here help, I just managed to finish all of my paperwork and am, by some blessed being's grace, granted a night to just relax." He looked towards the shyly smiling child and a smile split his own lips. "Maybe I should have accepted Itachi's offer from the beginning."

"You finished all of your paperwork!?" An incredulous Konan asked, nearly dropping a plate had Deidara not reacted fast enough and caught it before it could break. "But there were mountains of it!" She looked towards their employee turned child and just stared at him in awe. "How?"

"Itachi here can practically scan through files. I timed him." Nagato said as he placed Itachi into his seat next to Kisame, who smiled warmly at the boy and Itachi returned it with a small smile of his own. "He reads through a page of small print, fully filled out with data, in the span of 38.6 seconds.'' He looked proudly down at his youngest Akatsuki member. ''Because of him scanning through all the papers, I was able to finish so quickly. He'd just summarize what the papers said and we would then discuss the best course of action. Which brings me to then next topic. I've got a couple of missions for you all. You start in the morning.''

''He helped you sort out the mission?'' Konan asked, even more incredulous and now everyone was staring at the serenely eating child.

''Yes. He's quite the strategist, even at this age.'' The pierced man said, starting with his own dinner. ''His mind seems to think on a whole different level. He needs to be distracted by hard work. His mind ... wanders in directions that might make an ordinary man go mad.''

Kisame could only nod to this, well aware of that specific trait in his partner. It's kind of the reason they could finish any written report about their missions within seconds of getting it. Itachi reads it faster than scanners, unless his eyes ache that day due to overuse of the Sharingan. And the whole strategy thing ... Well, Itachi was a genius. He planned out all their manuevars out on the battlefield when they're on missions and his plans never failed. If he didn't have something to occupy his thoughts, Itachi tended to start reciting old philosophers just to have something to do. He usually did this when he was particularly exhausted after a mission. Kisame would then, for once, be the one listening to his young partner as Itachi recited every philosophical theory ever made, no matter from what culture or time period. It's how Kisame got into reading philosophical texts. Besides, he liked occasionally getting into debates with Itachi and had actually managed to win two so far. Sure, once was when Itachi had overused his Mangekyo Sharingan and had collapsed from exhaustion while Kisame was carrying him, but the other time Itachi had been perfectly awake. And if Itachi wasn't exhausted and had nothing to do, he usually prompted Kisame to speak about ... Anything, really. Just so that the weasel could focus on something other than his thoughts. Thoughts that surrounded his little brother, whom he had left behind, his family and clan, whom he had killed, and his village, whose people hate him.

"I'm nothing special," Itachi mumbled from besides him and Kisame turned around to face the little boy, who was frowning at his meal. "If anything, I'm a freak that I can't shut off my thoughts."

"If anything, you would be a freak if you could." Sasori said with a snort. "The brain is constantly being stimulated and processing those stimulations. Even when we are asleep, we are processing and dissecting information or even dreaming. Thoughts never stop. Only an idiot can shut off his thought process."

"What about meditation?" Kakuzu inquired, interested in Sasori's opinion. He saw that Itachi had eaten his vegetables and pushed a few more into Itachi's plate, earning a small smile from the child. Kakuzu wondered why he had such a soft spot for children. Maybe one of his five hearts was defective because it belonged to a overly emotional person? "The mind supposedly goes blank if you're doing it right."

"Still processing, just not as obviously." The puppet master said confidently and they broke into a debate over it while at the table, dinner forgotten. Itachi just watched them with big eyes and attentively listened to everything they said, oblivious to how his intense observation of the two only made them all the more fired up to see who is right.

After dinner Kisame took Itachi up to their shared room, watching the delighted look that crossed the boy's face when he saw all the scrolls his older self has collected or taken with him from the Uchiha Compound. The little raven ran from one shelf to the other, scanning all the titles of the books and growing more and more excited, even pulling a few out to skim through them. Kisame enjoyed it when those dark eyes, usually so glum and serious, shined with happiness.

"I can read all of this?" The boy asked hopefully, looking up at the freakishly tall man. "I can really read it all? Your partner won't mind?"

Well, seeing as all but three books were Itachi's, there was really no problem if Itachi himself were to read them. But little Itachi still didn't know what was going on and he didn't know that he was supposed to be about a decade older than he currently was. So Kisame just grinned at the boy, scooped him up and brought him eye level with Itachi's absolute favorites. "He won't mind. He really likes kids. Has a little brother he adores very much, but the little prick doesn't know how to appreciate it."

Itachi tilted his head in confusion at Kisame's bitterness, the blue man always having been so gentle and caring and happy around him ...

Kisame saw his expression and shook off all of his hate towards Uchiha Sasuke, who as far as this Itachi was concerned didn't even exist yet, and instead focused on his little partner. "Why don't you chose one book and read it before bedtime?"

Itachi happily nodded and returned to studying the bookcase, missing the fond but slightly sad look Kisame had on his face as he knew that this was possibly the first time Itachi actually got to act close to his age.

00000

On the morning of his third day with the Akatsuki, Itachi found out that they were an organization of extremely powerful ninja completely by accident as he went to find Kakuzu and ask if he could help with balancing the organization's checkbook, only to find the miser sleeping slumped in his desk chair, the checkbook open for Itachi to browse. That's how he found that the missions these people took were SS-class and that meant they had to be pretty good, especially if they had such a number of missions and all were successful, if the checkbook was constantly being filled up with money. Their clientèle list was colorful at best, ranging from Kages of other villages, to feudal lords to small time criminals with a lot of cash.

Kakuzu was just damn glad he woke up before Itachi could open any other checkbook from the pile on his table. He would rather not have to explain to their Leader why itachi was suddenly afraid of them all if he took a look at what some of those missions had consisted of. Pein had been awake to monitor which mission reports and requests Itachi got to read. Kakuzu had nearly caused them a lot of trouble for not locking his and Hidan's door.

He picked the little Uchiha up and turned him around so they were face to face, Itachi not startled by the gesture and Kakuzu wondering if anything could get a reaction out of this kid. "What are you doing here this early, bozu?"

Itachi gave him a glare almost worthy of his older self at the last comment. "I am not a brat or a kid and would appreciate it if you'd stop addressing me as such." He said sounding almost formal before letting it drop and going back to answering Kakuzu's question. "I wanted to see if you needed any help with all this." He gestured to the checkbooks and the papers strewn all across the ancient ninja's desk. "Maybe if you had help you could sleep in your own bed?" It was more of a challenge than an offer, daring Kakuzu to deny him the right to help him.

Kakuzu denied him. "Absolutely not. You heard Konan." He said almost defensively when a fine black eyebrow arched above coal eyes. "You're supposed to do kiddie things while you're ... here." He almost said 'like this' but caught himself. Itachi arched an eyebrow at him. "You know, play with dolls and watch cartoons and stuff."

"I prefer more stimulating activities, such as math and reading."

"There must be something seriously wrong with you if that's the case." The miser said in a deadpan. "I like numbers that represent cash, too, but even I sometimes hate counting it." Itachi just shrugged as best as he could in Kakuzu's hold.

"Okaa-san says it's because I'm too smart for my own age or something." The little raven replied, sounding disapproving of the thought that he was a kid. Seeing as he had seen war at four, he might not be a kid anymore by some definitions. But Kakuzu wasn't going to allow that to be his defense when Pein and Konan came to beat the shit out of him later for not letting Itachi have his few days of actual childhood. He swore those two acted like the Uchiha's parents at times. "I just want to help. You look dead tired."

Kakuzu sighed before placing the little genius in his lap, picking up a checkbook that he actively dreaded opening each time. Itachi curiously read the tittle, 'Everyday Expenses of the Akatsuki', written in a neat, elegant handwriting before leafing through it when Kakuzu put it on the table. A fine black eyebrow arched when he saw that some days, the expenses covered new wood (for Sasori's puppets), new clay (for Deidara), paper (for Konan), a few different headache painkillers (mostly for Pein, but everyone snuck a few pills for themselves), raw meat (both Zetsu and Hidan were ... strange like that), new cleaning rags and weapons polish (Kisame's hobbies were weird), occasionally a few new kunai or shuriken sets (Itachi tended to come back without all of his original arsenal from time to time), ordinary things like weapons sharpeners, food, clothing once every other month (Kakuzu didn't let them buy new clothes unless the old ones were no longer usable) and other oddities. Shampoo seems to be a thing, since three different shampoos were bought once a month, and the place seemed to always have dango (Itachi's sweet tooth was never ignored; no one wanted a pissed off Mangekyo Sharingan user to put them into a coma) and lollipops (Tobi was extra annoying when he ran out). And then there were expenses just labeled 'damage control' with each member's name by a certain amount of money or a piece of furniture. And there was 'damage' where there were labels like fires, floods, falling trees, falling idiots?

Itachi turned his head to look at the grumbling thread master as he started running the calculations, cursing when he didn't get the digits right on his calculator. The boy looked back to where he had poised his pen and saw that it was for something Hidan had done that had damaged the sofa and quickly ran the calculations in his head. Why or how Hidan damaged the sofa 46 times that month, he didn't ask.

"60,560,320 ryo." Kakuzu looked down at the kid when Itachi spoke, frowning when he didn't immediately realize what the Uchiha was talking about. Itachi shrugged and pointed to the calculations he was running. "If you spent on each repair 1,316,528.6956521 ryo, then that is 60,560,320 ryo in total."

The miser frowned at the child before returning to his calculator, finding that the boy was right as soon as he got his numbers right. He arched an eyebrow at the four year old, who had taken his pen out of his hands and was now running the calculations for all the other expenses. "That was pretty quick."

"There are over a hundred households on the Uchiha Compound grounds, some holding two families and almost each family has at least four members, usually due to elders. A third of those people work in the Konoha Police Force, but are currently at war. The rest have their own businesses or are children. Rare few work as chuunin and jonin and the children are mostly genin, running around as messengers. Because we are at war, no one has the time to run the bills and balance the checkbooks for their own household, let alone for the entire compound. Chichiue knew that I could at least run ours while he and Okaa-san were fighting, after Minato-sama ordered me to be sent back home from the camp," the child explained as he continued the calculations, finishing a page for three sentences he said. Kakuzu couldn't help but watch in awe. "So I balanced our checkbook but soon noticed that nobody else seemed to be doing theirs so I took it upon myself to do those, too. And when everyone noticed that I was good at it, they just let me do it, knowing that everything will be in order. Chichiue was proud when he heard about it but Okaa-san had been worried I was overtaxing myself. In truth, I am bored at home so this is one of the few fun things I get to do."

"That's the longest I've ever heard you talking in one instance." The former Hidden Waterfall ninja observed, earning a blush from the kid. He'd been doing that a lot, too. Kakuzu wondered if he was so deprived of normal interaction that all of this attention was a bit overwhelming for the prodigy. Such a shame. The kid appeared very nice to be around.

"I know I am not the most social person," Itachi said, ducking his head. "But this is the first time I spoke with someone who isn't going to treat me like a kid. I like it here. People actually listen to what I say." Kakuzu suddenly felt a strange pang that must have come from that defective, overly emotional heart, when he realized they had not even given the teen Itachi a chance to say anything. Not really. They just put words into his mouth and acted according to preset expectations. Child Itachi was an extremely observant person. The fifteen year old Itachi must have caught on from the beginning and had just let them think what they wished, never stating his own opinions to anyone else but Kisame.

"Akatsuki is full of ... special people." Kakuzu answered vaguely, watching as the checkbook he hated doing was finished. "I'm sure you fit right in."

And because the brat's smile was so damn cute, Kakuzu let him run the calculations for the rest of the safer checkbooks.