Chrissy: It's not my first story but it will be the first one I finish I guess. Read tell me what you think it means a lot, no Flames please!!! Set in New moon after Edward leaves. Song fic too Taylor Swifts- Breathe
Disclaimer: I own nothing
So here I sit in my room, I think I've been in here for about four months now. Eat, sleep, breathe is all I do at least its what I try to do. When Edwa….he left I was crushed, I'm sure you would be too if the person you thought cared so much about you said he didn't love you anymore.
Charlie said I looked like a zombie walking around, I'm sure it was true; no one talked to me anymore not Jessica or Mike. Angela tried a couple of times but I don't even remember what she was saying.
……..Something about movies…..no wait I'm not sure……..
I guess I really am a zombie but its because of him that I'm this way…I don't think I will ever forget that day walking in the forest I had a feeling something was about to happen but I just pushed it up to PMS….hmmm now that I think about it I wish it was just PMS that I had felt.
'I see you face and my mind is a drive away
Cause none of us thought it was going to end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But its killing me to see you go after all this time'
How was I supposed to go on like this without you not here in my life anymore….I think that's when I had made up my mind that I couldn't…..
With my purple comforter around me, I grabbed my bag of toiletries and headed toward my bathroom. Opening the door I checked to make sure Charlie was still at work, I listened for the TV down stairs, glancing at the clock it read 1:25pm, no he wasn't home. Charlie didn't get home on Saturdays until six, so I was good for about four hours, It would give me more time.
'Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm'
Closing the door of the bathroom behind me, I dropped the comforter and made my way over to the shower. Pulling it back, I turned on the hot water first and waited for it to warm up before turning on the cold. Finally, I found just the right temperature, stripping off my white t-shirt followed by my black sweat pants I stepped into the tub. The water was hot but felt good on my skin…..
This was it, this was were it was going to happen; ending my life I mean……
'Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see'
I wonder if Alice would see this maybe she would come rushing through the door and save me from this pain…….
'Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around'
Taking the razor in my hand I sat down in the shower letting the water hit me on my bare legs. It felt good…..the water I'm sure I can't say that enough…..but it did. And it was weird how something could feel good when you were about to do something so wrong.
Pressing the cold metal to my wrist…I realized then that when I was in junior high I had done a paper on people who cut themselves and I remembered running across that article about a boy who had cut his wrist vertically and he bleed out and couldn't stop the bleeding in time and died from blood lose. The article said he didn't feel anything it was like he just went to sleep and well….. never woke up.
'And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me'
Maybe that's how it would be with me too……
'You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand'
I squeezed my eyes shut and slide the razor up my wrist and made sure to press hard enough to break the skin and make it bleed. After I was done with that wrist, I moved on to the other one repeating the process. I dropped the razor and it made a 'clunk' sound against the bath tub floor, the blood drained slowly but it gave me time to think….
'And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to'
….Charlie was the first thing that came to mind, he would miss me but he would move on and I was sure that he would not miss me being here after all I had come into his home after twelve or more years. This was the best thing I could do…..for everyone especially Edward…..there I had said it Edward, Edward, Edward…..
'Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out'
He would be happy I knew he would be……..at least that's what I thought…….
'And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand'
The blood was covering the shower floor now and going down the drain….I was starting to feel woozy….maybe it was because of the smell of my blood or the lack of it. Either way I realized the article was right it didn't hurt …..my breaths came in short gasps now…..
'And I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to'
Everyone wouldn't miss me; Charlie, Mom, Phil, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Jessica, Mike, Eric, Angela, Tyler, Carlisle, and Esme. I would miss them though…….I would really miss them….
'It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me'
And as the light in the bathroom grew dimmer I could hear his voice……
'And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh'
"Bella don't do this, you know that we will all miss you, you…..know that I.. will miss you ….."
The light was bright all of a sudden and I could feel myself takeing my last breathe …
'I can't breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to
Breathe Without you, but I have to'
This was it this was what I wanted… and for the first time since Edward had left me I was happy……
With the last breathe I could get out, came a raspy, cracked, "I'm sorry"……….
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry'