You gave me this burning feeling in my heart I couldn't ignore. With every gaze you threw at me, hateful or loving, I felt the heat grow in my chest until I had to look away. Sometimes I wondered if I should enjoy the burning sensation I received, wondered just what it was, wondered why I felt it with you. I knew it shouldn't be happening; you, being the kind of girl you were, and I, being the kind of guy I was, weren't right together. Muggle-born and pureblood…lioness and serpent…yet I couldn't shake the feeling.
Some days I longed for your gaze to land on me, not caring what emotion you had when you did. Just one chance to stare at your beauteous irises for however long I could. Other days I avoided that gaze, knowing the burning would come and bring me down. I'd scowl at you, not making eye contact, just so you'd look away and I wouldn't have to look at you.
One day I realized just what that burning sensation was: it was love, exploding and weeping hot tears in my chest. I couldn't bear the idea of falling in love with you, but I also embraced it fully. I'd clutch my blazing heart when your image appeared in my thoughts and close my eyes tight, watching as you smiled, as you laughed, as you cried, as you yelled in anger. I loved every emotion you poured out for it came from you.
When I saw you with that Weasel, laughing like lovers, smiling like lovesick puppies the feeling roared within me, making my skin hot as the burning increased hundredfold. I felt like you had killed me, like I was dying as he leaned into you to caress your lips with his own. I didn't even feel like pulling out my wand and cursing him. All I felt was the pain as the inferno in my heart grew until my entire body was set aflame. I couldn't take it; I ran away.
I don't know if you heard me as I ran, if you saw my robes whip past the corner, but I doubt you'd have cared. I rushed into the boys' lavatory and yelled out as the fire consumed my body. There were a few young first-years inside but they ran off in fear and I stared like a rabid animal at them. Alone, I screamed once more and ran at the mirror. My eyes were open in fury and grief and my face was drained so I looked close to death. Oh, how I wished I was. I gripped my chest and fell onto the floor, crouched in a fetal position. The pain was immense and I felt angered tears rush from my eye sockets which made me yell louder. The burning feeling you gave me was overpowering my body, making me weak, for I knew I'd never have you, never love you.
Why couldn't it be a perfect world where all lovers were with the one they wanted? Why did that ginger-haired Weasley get your love when I was here, screaming because of how intense my love was for you? Why did I have to lie on stone-cold linoleum when he had you? He surely didn't love you like I did, didn't want you like I did, didn't get that burning feeling when he saw you because he couldn't be with you like I did. I had suffered like no man my age had all because of a woman who didn't see me standing there.
That burning desire and passion would never leave me for I loved you, Hermione Granger. If only you felt what I felt too.