-Smile-
Note: SS/SB/RL.. Originally a submission for Snupin Santa. But, guess that wasnt in the cards. Have Fun, and make sure to review on your way out!
EXTRA NOTE: All three Chapters are in this one document.
Warnings: None.
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CHAPTER ONE - Smile
August 3rd, 1994, 11:43pm -
He had deliberately stood outside the old, cracked wooden door for longer then necessary, even though the rain was beating down with a vicious passion that left his ratty tweed scarf soaked and irritating his neck more then he could have usually stood. He could have simply knocked on the door directly after apperating and stayed nearly completely dry... But instead, he waited.
For what.... he wasn't even sure. Severus wasn't going to come out and usher him in like a crooning mother, before wrapping him in a soft linen and making him a cup of chocolate, no. But somehow, the tumbledown brick house in Spinner's End seemed a bit less intimidating with the faint glow of a homely light shining through the thick linen curtains of what was probably a living room.
Licking a bit of rain from his upper lip, he looked to the narrow, broken entrance, which was composed of two thin doors that probably were the same size as just one normal one. He had a hard time understanding why whoever built the townhome had done that, but upon further inspection, he saw that it was a fine door indeed. Carefully carved and lovingly installed with stained glass and a simple monogram on the old, iron doorknob.
'P'
The rust had almost taken over the letter, but it was still there, lined with scratches and chips, as if someone had tried to cut the rust off.
It was only when he reached out to touch the knob that he realized he was right in front of the door, and the light from the window was a faint echo on the broken cobbled street behind him.
"Right." He sighed, lifting his arm to beat it against the pane of the stained glass three or four times, wincing as the door rattled with his knocks.
He stood back, shivering at the biting gust of wind attacking his naked hands, and looked down to the road, where a short, fat shadow darted about the road, almost frantically, before disappearing from the light.
He could have laughed with the thought of Severus shrinking a foot or two and putting a cauldron's worth in weight, but contented himself with clearing his throat and saving the image in the back of his mind to tell Sirius when he arrived home to Grimmauld Place.
Turning to the door, he jumped back, startled to see a pale face staring out at him through the glass. The rest of Severus really blended in with the darkness behind him, but no one could mistake the small glint in the haunting eyes setting him apart.
The rusted knob rattled and the door was pushed open, but Severus still remained inside the house, backed up against the wall of the narrow hall that seemed to lead to the source of light the window opened in to.
"Lupin." He said plainly, his face nor tone giving away any sort of emotion or thought. As always, Remus thought.
"Severus! You gave me quite a scare!" He sighed heavily and smiled, showing all of his teeth. "Terrible weather you are having out here in the country." Remus waved a hand dismissive to the rain beating down behind him.
The Potion Master said nothing, but turned away leaving the door open as he walked down the narrow, short hall that was all too like Grimmauld Place, and into a dimly lit room that was the only way to go once one had reached the end of the hall.
Remus nodded and stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind him and hoping it wouldn't fall apart as he did so.
He was immediately greeted by warmth and the scent of charred firewood, again, reminding him of the drawing room in Grimmauld Place, one of the only rooms in the entire house of Black with an actual oil radiator.
Remus stood still for a moment, tapping his hands against his hips in nervousness. He had never been inside Severus' home before, though Lily, after the 'Moodblood' incident, had often made comment that it was a decrepit dump. Something, Remus thought, wasn't true. The home possessed charm, with it's old material wallpaper and scratched hardwoods, but curiously casting a glance at the ceiling, where water damage lined the unpainted black tin with a disgusting brown and green color, Remus thought again, wasn't entirely true.
Beside him, Remus found a simple row of coat hooks simply driven into the wall crudely. A long, black traveling cloak was hung lazily on one, but beside it, a faded blue and brown blazer, something Severus would never wear, number one, and number two, it was far too big to fit the man. It was far too big to fit Remus, even, and Remus knew he was quite a bit bigger around the midriff then Severus.
Reaching a tentative hand up to touch the motheaten piece, the werewolf wondered why it seemed so familiar. But before he could remember, as the memory lingered at the front of his mind, Severus' acidic voice lashed out from the other room.
"Lupin! Don't doddle!"
Remus shook and quickly peeled off his coat and scarf, setting the dripping pieces upon the floor rather then hanging them up for fear of ruining the wallpaper with the water.
Quickly, Lupin scuffled down the hall, clearing his throat as he rounded the corner.
"Don't mind me, Severus." He said with a smile, though the Potion Master's back was turned, and he was leaning over a black tea table, pouring milk from a small, porcelain pitcher into a cup and stirring slowly. Remus briefly remembered his mother's old saying that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they stirred their tea. Severus was gentle, consistent and took wide, turning rounds, the little spoon he held never making a sound or hitting the porcelain, as if he was stirring a little cauldron. Sirius, on the other hand, barely stirred at all, dumping sugar in copious amounts into the cup and leaving it to pool at the bottom. If he ever added milk, he would give it a lazy turn.
Remus, on the other hand, was more in between them both. Ensuring he mixed the tea carefully, unlike Sirius, but making far more noise then Severus. Sirius once joked that all of London knew when Remus Lupin was making tea, but Remus laughed along, wondering in the back of his mind if he was actually that loud.
Severus had finished, and tapped his spoon against the rim of his cup twice, setting it down on the tea table before turning to Lupin, cup already rising to his mouth. Before he took a sip, he asked, "Can I help you, Lupin?"
Remus shook his head gently, smiling lightly, "I was just thinking about how my Mother would have approved at the way you make your tea."
Severus snorted, waving his hand beside him to offer Remus a cup.
"Thank You, Severus, I will have one."
The Potion Master stepped aside a few feet, towards the fireplace when Remus came forward to pour himself a glass. From his leaning position, Severus cast a quick glance at the other man, who was surrounded by an orange-like glow from the fire crackling on behind him.
A moment of silence passed between them, after Remus had collected his tea, but Severus broke it with his typical professional drawl. It always came to this, Remus knew, when Severus was making the wolfsbane. He would never tamper with his potions, no matter who it was for.
"For this particular batch, I need a hair of yours. Preferably a gray one." He took a sip of his tea, setting it on the mantle of the fire behind him after, where books and papers dominated the space.
Remus nodded, leaning his head forward and chuckling, "Feel free, I have lots!"
Severus cocked an eyebrow, reaching forward with a long, thin arm and plucking one painlessly from the middle of the werewolf's head. With that, he exited the room without another word, holding the hair in front of him carefully and striding silently through an door less frame to the far right of the room. Wherever it led, Remus saw, was dark and empty, and Severus quickly blended in with the darkness around him and disappeared.
Shrugging, Remus brought a hand up to his head and rubbed it, taking another sip from his tea, and reminding himself to ask Severus why before giving him any part of his body for a potion.
The opportunity to explore the room presented itself, and Remus took it. His head bobbing from left to right curiously.
Books lined the floor, much like the Potion Master's quarters at Hogwarts, and for a moment, Remus wondered which place had more. The furniture was well-used, but comfortable looking, though there was not much of it. A Queen Anne that had seen better days rested in the corner near the doorway Severus had gone through, the same color as the small area rug that covered the middle of the room, hardwoods almost unnoticeable through the many thick tomes that rested on the ground. There was one more chair beside the tea table, a huge,overstuffed thing that Remus would have liked to curl up in and fall asleep. It was draped with a finely-knitted blanket that looked like it could have been one of Molly's, had it not been so old and black.
Besides for bookshelves here and there -- bookshelves stuffed to their maximum capacity and then some, Remus noted-- there was nothing else. No tables but the for the one Severus had served tea on, no decorations save for a large, stained mirror over the fireplace, and no pictures. Though discolored squares and ovals on the wall hinted that some must have been around at one time. The only sitting picture frame Remus saw on the mantel place, behind several books, and was empty, the cardboard backing being all that was left.
Sighing, Remus sipped at his tea, feeling rather lonely and, quite frankly, empty standing alone in the room. Casting a glance to Severus' teacup sitting atop a leather-back book, he called out.
"Severus, would you like your tea?"
There was no response for almost a whole minute, but eventually, the other man's drawl rang out from down the hall.
"Mmm. Fine."
Remus smiled widely, reaching and removing the cup from the mantel before treading off down the same hall Severus had, holding his arms close to each other, as the hallway seemed to get narrower the closer he got to the light.
"Merlin!" The werewolf grimaced, emerging through the barely two-foot wide entrance with some difficulty, a splash of tea rolling down his knuckle.
Making a sharp turn to his right to avoid hitting the wall, Remus held himself steady, taking a deep breath, "Bloody narrow hall!" He declared to the black-clad man standing over a small cauldron, a few feet ahead.
The nearly negligible light was spilling off from the small fire whistling from underneath the cauldron, turning the bottom of the iron vat an eerie red that seemed to breath with the movement in the room. Other then that, no other lights were on, and Remus wondered how Severus could see what he was doing in such an atmosphere. Behind the tall Potioneere, at the very end of the rather long room, there was a thin window, smogged and fogged, with a little crack running up the corner that was slowly leaking water, a steady 'drip.. drip...' sound emitting every time a droplet hit the floor.
Setting the cups of tea in the only place there was to put it, which was some sort of butcher's block in front of the cauldron, Remus curiously inquired, "So what room is this?"
Severus seemed to shrug, but it was hard to see through the light, "Kitchen."
Remus looked around for any signs of kitchen equipment. Cold boxes, a stove, a sink, anything. But the room was absent of all things that would have deemed it a "kitchen", as Severus declared. Seemingly reading his mind, Severus spoke up again, never lapsing in his careful stirring. Stirring, Remus thought, was just like that with his tea.
"Got rid of most everything a long time ago. No need for it, what with being at Hogwart's most of the time." Severus raised a hand to scratch his cheek, "It was all disgusting anyway."
Remus nodded, and shivered a bit from the cold that seemed to have enveloped the room.
~*~
Remus reached behind him for his cup, his face easing up into a light smile, "Some people don't even know you have a house. I don't think they know that you leave Hogwarts." Taking the cup to his lips, Remus paused and sniffed to make sure it was the right one before having a sip. Severus didn't say anything, but reached beside him to where some sort of makeshift table was holding several dishes of diced up ingredients. Moving his free hand about the table while stirring still, he selected one, and tossed the contents into the cauldron, making it smoke an awful lot for a moment.
The brown-haired man smiled even wider, "I don't think I've actually ever seen you make Wolfsbane. "
Remus could practically hear Severus' eyes roll, "What a pity." He sighed, sarcasm hanging in the air. But all Lupin did was laugh heartily, "Indeed. It looks like such a fascinating procedure, really. How long does it take?"
"Three hours." The dark man replied, voice hoarse until he cleared his throat, "It'll be done in five minuets or so."
Remus was about to take a sip when he removed the cup from his lip, "Three hours? And I just drink it?" He smiled, "I'll be sure to savour the taste this time." It was a bad joke, Remus knew it, so he shook his head and attempted to cover, feeling bad suddenly about insulting the time the other man took to make him his potion, " I do appreciate your time, Severus. It means a lot to me to be able to get the wolfsbane again.."
Turning around and setting his teacup down, Remus took Severus' and made his way around the cauldron, "Here." he offered.
Severus was silent, but Remus felt him take the cup from his hand, and heard him take a cautious sip before setting it down on the table next to him with grace, picking up a small bowl again, this time it was a liquid, and Severus slowly poured it in. Remus couldn't see any difference it made in the potions color or texture, but apparently Severus did, and murmured quietly, "It's done."
Setting the ladle against the edge of the cauldron, The other man made his way to the end of the room, his figure blocking the window momentarily. Remus could just barely make out the other man's features, but they were blank. He coughed, collecting something from the table before looking up, perhaps through the window. Remus wondered what he could see through the fogged and wet piece of glass, but he wouldn't have had time to ask, not that he was considering it, for Severus just as quickly spun around and walked back to the cauldron, a goblet and napkin in his left hand. He then grabbed the handle of the ladle still in the cauldron, and pulled it up, holding the goblet under it and pouring the Wolfsbane in.
Remus cocked his head, "It's a lot less... mushy then when I had it last."
"Mm.. Different ingredients." He said casually. But Remus still felt concerned for a moment, huffing, "But it'll still do everything the mushy stuff did... Right?"
Severus didn't answer, and Remus felt he had insulted the man again, but the goblet was thrust in front of him, with a simple order, "Just drink it."
The moment Remus had liberated the steaming goblet from Severus, the other man turned and walked back down the narrow hall and into the living room. Remus smelled from the goblet first, not being able to find a difference from his normal batch, but he sighed, shrugging and downing the goblet in one large gulp,a moment later, he grimaced and stuck his tongue out... He wasn't able to taste a difference either, though the texture was definitely different.
He reached to grab his cup of tea to relieve himself from the taste, but dropped it in surprise upon seeing a massive, fat rat scurry across the floor quickly, squeezing through a crack in the wall.
"Merlin!" Remus screeched, jumping back and almost falling.
Severus, upon hearing the tea cup break, ran out of the living room and through the hall with a billowing stride, but stopped short beside Remus, who noticed his wand was already drawn. The Potion Master cocked an eyebrow upon deciding there was no danger, tucking his wand back into his sleeve and casting a glace at the broken cup. "What... Happened?"
Remus bit his lip, feeling a bit sheepish when his face burned up in embarrassment, and mumbled, "There was a rat." He hoped, somewhere at the back of his mind, that Severus didn't hear.
Fully expecting a rant on how, "He was a fully grown wizard" and "Should be able to handle a rat.", lined with sarcastic remarks about his "Alleged defense ability", Remus bowed his head slightly and bit his lip, but nothing came. In fact, upon looking back to Severus, who was completely silent, he saw that the other man was scanning the floor with his eyes, carefully looking to every corner of the room.
A moment later, Severus spoke, "The house is unoccupied ten months of the year." Remus nodded, still feeling a bit silly. "Clean your mess up." The black-haired man, still looking to the floor, slowly turned away, having no problem fitting down the narrow hallway.
Remus, a bit shell shocked, nodded, "Right away!" he called after Severus, who had disappeared around the corner.
Remus never touched anything sharper then a wand. He had always been afraid to cut himself and bleed on someone and give them some form of lycanthropy in the process, and sure enough, not two pieces into the cleanup, he felt a jagged pain in his knee.
"Oh bloody---" Remus sighed, sitting back on his bottom and setting the glass he had picked up aside, pulling up his pant leg before clawing this thumb and index finger and slowly pulling the small piece of glass from his skin, hissing when ribbons of red began to flow from the small cut instantly.
"Severus!" He called, pressing his thumb against the wound, "I've had a bit of an accident."
He could hear Severus curse in annoyance and march down the hall, scowling at Remus. "Not three seconds into it." Remus shrugged his shoulders innocently and pointed to the cut.
Severus crunched his nose up, as if having smelled something foul and pointed to a darkened door at the end of the room, a few feet up from the window.
"Bathroom is up the stairs, down the hall and the first door on your left.." Remus nodded, beginning to lift himself up, "Don't bleed everywhere on your way." Severus turned, but stopped, "And why didn't you use your wand?" He called to the crouching man.
"Oh.." Remus bit his lip again, embarrassed for the second time, "Left it in my coat... Didn't want to go and get it." Remus saw Severus roll his eyes before treading out again, mumbling to himself about, ironically enough, how Remus was a full grown wizard..
~*~
He had made it up the stairs just fine, waddling ridiculously like a penguin, still thumbing his wound to try and minimize leakage. He sighed and thanked Merlin that the lights, no matter how weak, were on in the hallway he found himself in. A gusty orange glow, much like that of the fire, spilling down the dull green half-length wallpaper from a series of five or so sconces on each side of the wall.
Remus was surprised, this time, to find pictures in between the lights.
Looking behind him cautiously, Remus removed his thumb and stood up, curious to see what the pictures were of, he dropped his pant leg and just hoped the majority of the blood would simply leak onto his sock, rather then the floor, though it was hardwood, and he was sure he would wipe up any accidents.
The first one, set in an old, oval tin frame featured a pregnant woman smiling into the camera. Her long black hair billowing behind her. Her dark, heavy eyes immediately gave away who she was.
"Eileen Prince." Remus mouthed in awe, never having seen a picture of Severus' mother before. She wasn't particularly pretty, but she was stunning in a way, her long, sharp features shining as she cradled her heavy belly. She was standing outside and Remus could just barely make out Spinner's End behind her.. Below her, he thought, she must have been standing up on some sort of mountain or rock, or maybe even on the roof of a building, but the picture cut off at her hips, where the buildings and roads were most prominent.
Remus shook his head and sighed, taking one last look at Eileen. The longer he stared, the more captivating her eyes became, and the more haunting her not-quite-happy-after-all smile was. He shivered a bit, ripping his eyes from the picture and moving on.
The next one had been taken with a wizarding camera, and though it was fuzzy, Remus could make out the movement.
It was Eileen again. But she was inside, laying down on a rather uncomfortable looking bed, her hair was drawn back into a bun Remus could see when she turned her head to look at something out of the camera's vision. At her chest, she held a child, bundled up thickly with material and blankets. Remus smiled a bit upon seeing the baby's arms reach up to his mother's neck, causing her to look down, a smile far more sincere then the last picture crossing her features for a moment. Chuckling a bit at the thought that it was Severus all bundled up, Remus grinned foolishly. Harry had made a comment last Christmas about his doubt that Professor Snape had ever been a kid, but here was proof.
Walking down the to the next and knowing he should hurry lest Severus become suspicious, Remus caught sight of yet another wizarding photo. This time, a bit clearer. Remus didn't need two looks to know who it was, as the thin, lanky frame of a black-haired teenage boy had been the image of Severus Remus knew for seven whole years. He had never admitted it, but reuniting with the Potions Master after nearly 19 years was a bit strange. He had looked familiar yet different at the same time.
Severus was sitting down at a table, and Eileen was perched beside him, looking so much older. Her face wracked with lines of anguish and her hair streaked with white. But her expression was that of some kind of pride, as Severus blew out the candles on a white cake in front of him, Remus quickly counted the candles to sixteen.
The teen smiled at his mother, and Remus knew that was the first time in all his life he had seen the man happy. All his memories of Severus had been him scowling or frowning, or simply having no expression at all, especially those of his Hogwart's years. Remus was wide-eyed in awe at how nice the smile was. Toothy with deep dimples and a glistening in the dark eyes that lit them up as much as the candles had when they were still flaming. He had never noticed that Severus' front two teeth were a bit bigger then the rest of them, making him look a bit like a chipmunk. Remus chuckled, eyes never leaving the picture.
Severus then extended a finger, wiping some stray icing off the plate and bringing it to his mouth, licking it off and closing his eyes, as if savoring the taste like he had never had it before. Opening his eyes, he fisted his hand and brought his knuckles to his eye, his smile falling apart into a soft frown as he wiped away what Remus found to be a tear. The brown haired man's chuckle faded to a soft, sad smile. He hadn't ever had it before, Remus thought.
Eileen then leaned in and pecked Severus on the cheek, holding her forehead to his temple in a gesture or love or assurance or both. Remus could see her lips move, but couldn't make out what she was mouthing, but it was too short to be "I love you" or "Happy Birthday". Remus thought again, and finally settled on, "It's ok."
~*~
Standing in front of the picture and using the time he should have been spending in the bathroom, Remus watched a moment in Severus' sixteenth birthday play over and over again, as older wizard cameras didn't have the capacity to take a picture of an extended period of time, and it left Remus hypnotized.
Remus had, in a discussion, rather, debate with Sirius about Remus having to come to Spinner's End for the wolfsbane, admitted that he had, when he was young, experienced feelings for Severus. But he also disclosed that he had long dismissed the feelings as simply being pity for the boy. Remus had a terrible habit of leaning towards people he pitied, but after a relationship gone awry five years ago, he promised never to do it to himself or anyone else again. Nymphadora, he remembered, was attempting to manipulate her knowledge of Remus' tendencies, and it frustrated him to no end.
Teaching at Hogwarts, Remus didn't remember those feelings coming back in the slightest. Nor had he pined for Severus' company the years he had been about before Hogwarts.
But looking at the picture now, he wasn't so sure.
Just then, he heard Severus calling from the bottom of the stairs, "What on earth are you doing up there?" He drawled, a hint of acid to his voice.
And what had happened next left even Remus surprised, as he slipped his hand, almost absentmindedly, behind the frame and wiggled the picture loose, sliding it out, and shoving it in his pocket before making his way down the stairs.
"Coming, Severus..."
~*~
CHAPTER TWO - A Picture of the Past
Remus had returned to Grimmauld Place shortly after being, for lack of a better term, thrown out of Spinner's End.
Hand still cold clutched on the stolen item in his pocket, the werewolf honestly didn't know how he could have offered Severus a smile and kind wishes on his way out... But somehow, he managed, once again ending up on the darkened cobblestone way, but this time, the light leaking onto the street from the comforting living room window died, just as Remus crossed the street to his apparation point of the corner of Main and Sir Fox way.
Standing under the street signs and looking at Spinner's End, now, without the rain, Remus decided that it wasn't so homely after all. It was just as large a tavern for memories as Grimmauld Place was to Sirius.
'So what does that make me for stealing one?' Remus thought bitterly, sliding his fingers off from the hardened card photo and looking for the Rook Chess Piece Sirius had given him as an apparation key to Queens Park.
~*~
The apparation was painful and made him nauseous as it always did before the full moon, but the wolfsbane Severus had agreed to continue making for him settled some of his usual symptoms. He would have almost certainly vomited before, but this time, he simply bent over and clutched his stomach, taking deep breaths and settling himself before trekking through the trees and trails of the large muggle park, looking in the distance, over the trees, for a glimpse of the huge, stone townhouses lining Grimmauld Road. It was about fifty steps before he began to take sight.
The walk through Queens Park was always Remus' favorite part about apparating to Sirius' home. There were always so many little animals running around, Remus couldn't help but think that Padfoot would love to take a run out here one day, when he was freed, to chase all the squirrels and birds that landed in the park for nuts and breadcrumbs as a mid-evening snack.
Remus didn't even try to avoid the muggles that were out for walks and jogs this time of night like his comrades did. instead, he simply smiled and waved at anyone who paid a look to him.
"Good Evening." He nodded at a rather scantily clad woman that was bouncily running down the trail Remus had found himself on, listening to some sort of portable radio. She smiled, but didn't say anything. Remus sometimes wondered why muggle women dressed like that, even the posters on Sirius' wall featured women practically naked, but the brown haired man had always settled on that he didn't feel the way about women like his other male friends did. Shrugging, Remus continued on, finally reaching the large, iron gate that surrounded the park and, upon finding it locked, pulling out his wand from his coat pocket and lazily flicked his wrist, the gate coming open with a loud 'screeeeeeee'
Looking around to ensure no one saw him, Remus waited for a few muggle carriages to pass before darting across the road, his tattered shoes beating against the pavement softly.
Remus smiled widely when he passed through 12 Grimmauld Place's small, black gate, and trotted up the stairs, extending an arm and beating it against the royal green door that had seen better days.
'At least it's not about to fall off it's hinges like Severus'' He thought.
Almost immediately Remus heard his friend bounding down the flights of stairs and he let out a chuckle, replacing it with a gasp when heard something topple over and shatter, and then Sirius' baritone voice ordering Kreacher to clean it up. Moments later, the door swung open, and Remus didn't even have time to say "Hullo" before he was warmly embraced and pulled off inside the Noble and Most Ancient house of Black.
Sirius was dressed casually, adorning a white undershirt with a gray coat lazily thrown over it, and striped black pants. He usually didn't wear any shoes in the house, so Remus wasn't surprised to find his feet were socked in strange fuzzy numbers the animagus must have gotten from Dumbledore.
When released from the choking embrace, Remus laughed, "Hi there, Sirius!" Sirius grinned widely, looking more like Padfoot then a person, "Hullo, Remus!" He then took Remus by the coat sleeve and dragged him into the drawing room where a fire was working hard with the creaking rads to warm up the room. "Tell me everything, you have to, I'm stuck here!" Sirius reminded, nodding seriously while plopping himself back on one of the lightly-stuffed chaise lounges and stretching out, patting the free space beside him for Remus.
"There is really, really, nothing to tell, Padfoot." Remus chuckled, trying to swallow a lump in his throat that had been getting increasingly larger since he had pocketed the picture to no avail.
Remus took the seat Sirius had offered him and began to remove his scarf and coat, pleasantly, he had just noticed, Severus must have dried, and tossing them on the floor. Taking a deep breath through his nostrils, Remus cocked an eyebrow, "Trying to hide the coffee from me, Sirius?" he chuckled, and Sirius sat up defensively, "No! It's not done yet... I've only had a couple of cups since you were gone..." The animagus smiled devilishly.
"Only a couple?" Remus stood to unbutton and toss away his coat before lying down properly beside the man, rolling his left ankle, thinking he must had twisted it running across the road.
Sirius nodded, but Remus dismissed it with the roll of his eyes, honestly not believing it.
"Tell me what happened at Snivillus' place. Now." Remus didn't even have time to condemn Sirius for use of that name before the animagus shot him another question, "Was it really as big a dump as Lily said? Were there human heads on plaques everywhere?"
Remus scoffed and shook his head, "Noooo, Sirius. It was very cozy."
Sirius was obviously unpleased by this answer, "Cozy?" He said with disdain, his nose wrinkling up.
"Yes. Cozy... Well.." Sirius' ears perked up slightly and Remus chuckled, "The living room was cozy. The rest of the house had a very.. Unlived-in feeling to it." Sirius scoffed again, pouting and looking at his socked toes, dancing them around a bit before Remus heard him gasp in horror. Immediately, he looked down, and cursed himself, seeing the bloodstain on his pant leg.
"Remus! You're bleeding!" Sirius declared, scuffling to the bottom of the lounger and hiking up Remus' pant leg before the other man even had a chance to respond. Sirius' face turned ugly as he frowned deeply, eyes narrowing, and Remus thought that hate had never looked good on his friend. Even that day in the shrieking shack. "If that greasy, overgrown bat TOUCHED you, I'll... I'll--" Sirius sputtered, touching the jagged cut at the bottom of Remus' knee cap.
"Sirius please!" Remus pleaded, attempting to sit up, but Sirius had an iron grip on his pant leg. Immediately after hearing Remus' tone, Sirius backed off, looking deep into his friend's golden eyes.
"I cut myself, Sirius, it's no big deal."
"Your lying!" Sirius hissed, crossing his arms childishly, and for just a moment, Remus didn't know if he was speaking to Snape or Sirius.
Sighing, the werewolf continued, "No, no, I'm not." Remus bumped his back up against the head of the chair so he could sit up straight, "I ruined myself on a broken teacup." He said again, nodding firmly.
Sirius, however, was obviously still skeptical. "How....?" He demanded quietly, tightening his arms even further.
"He made me tea, see.. While the wolfsbane was brewing." Sirius shook his head, again, in doubt, "Really, he did!" Remus continued, "And while I was taking a sip, I thought I saw a mouse or something like that, and dropped the cup in surprise. While I was cleaning it up, I hurt my knee."
Sirius had calmed down and moved a hand up to rub the back of his neck, "Sorry, Moony." He muttered, looking away.
Remus smiled widely, reaching to put a hand on his friend's arm, "I forgive you completely, Padfoot." Sirius sent a pleased peek back at Remus, "Now, why don't we clean this up and get that coffee you promised you had...."
~*~
Sirius had fixed Remus' cut with a clean cloth and bowl of warm water, before putting something called a 'Band-Aid' on the little, but persistent, wound. Remus had been toying with the muggle medical item Hermione had stocked the master bathroom with since Sirius had put it on, running his fingers over the smooth plastic material, and playing with the skin around it, finding entertainment in how the sticky strip moved with his skin. Remus had one heel sitting on the kitchen chair, and had rolled up his pant leg so he could watch the 'Band Aid'. But it didn't do much. Not at all like the wizarding version, 'Portable Healers - or - St. Mungo's brand, St. Mungo's in a box.'
Instead it just sat there, plainly attached to Remus' skin, quiet. Didn't poke or prod as to 'how he got that dreadful cut!' like the Portable Healers, and certainly didn't attempt to sew him up like the St. Mungos in a box. Remus was certain he liked these muggles much better... For now.
The two men sat silently, sipping on large mugs of hot coffee in the kitchen, as they usually did. But while Remus was occupying his time trying to now figure out how to take a band-aid off, and frankly, getting rather frantic about it, thinking it would never come off, Sirius sat and watched his friend, a light smile playing on his lips.
Sirius was a lot quiet then people usually would expect. After twelve years in Azkaban, he learned to pay more attention to the little things around him that could keep him mentally active, rather then attempting to dive himself into early insanity by making imaginary friends, much like the unfortunate fellow in the cell next to him had. Now that he was, in a matter of speaking, free, Sirius watched a lot more then he participated.
He brought a hand up to scratch his chin before leaning down to rest an elbow on the table, propping his chin up on his fist.
Remus was mumbling to himself quietly, his lips down turned into a focused frown, much like he frowns he used to get at Hogwarts during tests. Sirius chuckled to himself, being brought back to their Hogwart's days whenever the thought even came in brief passing, but he was distracted when Remus yelped out in pain.
"Merlin!!" Remus clutched his knee, hissing.
Sirius sighed, standing and pushing back his chair before grabbing his mug and searching out for the coffee pot and cream again, "What did you do now?"
"Nothing!" Remus said, but Sirius, upon a curt glance, could clearly see the band-aid hanging off the werewolf's finger, a few hairs attached to it too.
"Hermione told you not to touch it." Sirius said, matter of fact, dumping a few lumps of sugar into his refreshed cup. Pouting, Remus rubbed his knee, grunting slightly in dismissal.
~*~
Remus had never been a good liar. Ever. Anyone who had known him for more then five minutes knew he was worth less then a knut when it came to lying, and Remus himself had always supposed that was one of his good qualities. Honesty and all that. So it didn't take Sirius long, through poking and prodding about Remus' curt visit to Spinner's End, to discover that something was amiss with his only living comrade.
After enjoying the coffee in the kitchen, and putting a new band-aid on Remus' cut, much to the other man's protest, Sirius found himself looking Remus up and down with suspicion, but getting distracted upon seeing the bloodstains on the man's pants again. He grimaced, shaking his head, "Change your pants, Remus.."
Remus looked up from the Daily Prophet's Daily Hidden Word, and cocked an eyebrow, "Mmm?"
Sirius sighed, "There's blood all over your pants, its disturbing."
Remus looked down to where the browning streak was still prominent, "Yeah.. I guess..." He said, knowing his friend wouldn't want to have anything to do with blood or anything associated with blood after Azkaban.
"Give them to Kreacher..." Sirius said, but shook his head quickly after the words had left his mouth, deciding against sending Remus down to the basement; "KREACHER!!" He called. Remus shook at the sound of Sirius' abrupt yell, and rubbed his ears, frowning comically at his friend, who just shrugged. Within an instant, the rather unsightly house elf appeared, a disgusting scowl lining his greenish features. He simply grunted and gave Sirius a sort of evil look. "Yes, Master Sirius Black..."
Sirius shook his head, ordering firmly "Take Remus' Pants and clean them..." Remus immediately tried to protest, but by that time, he was already pantless. Kreacher had just flicked his fingers, almost reminding Remus never to doubt House Elf Magic again. Within one more split-second, another pair of fresh pants floated down the hall and into the drawing room, setting themselves down in a neat bundle at Remus' feet.
"Kreacher will clean the werewolf's pants now..." The ugly elf said with a smug grin, making Sirius turn red with anger, but Kreacher was gone before Sirius could say anything. Instead, the other Marauder stood, immediately apologizing for his elf, "I hate that bloody thing.. Don't pay him any mind, Remus."
Remus nodded, stepping into the pants and pulling them up. He had never really had a problem changing in front of Sirius or any of the Marauders, really, it happened all the time in the Quidditch Lockers and Gryffindor Common Rooms. Remus had never really understood why it was such a problem for some people. "Don't worry, Sirius, I never do!" He said with a smile, buttoning up the little wooden disks on the front of the closing.
Sirius let out a big yawn, coming over to sit on Remus' chair, again, motioning for Remus to sit with him. Remus nodded,pushing in the pockets of the pants before--
He widened his eyes. The picture. He had forgotten to take it out... And now Kreacher had it.
"Remmy? Something the matter?" Sirius asked, suspicion creeping back up to the front of his mind.
"N--.. No.." Remus managed a fake smile, so fake he knew Sirius could see right through it, and after an awkward moment of silence, he scrubbed a hand across his face, sitting down heavily.
"I'm just tired.. Sirius, really. It's been a long night and that Wolfsbane is hitting me hard."
Sirius nodded quickly, "I understand." He said gently, and Remus turned and smiled kindly. Sirius smiled too, but he knew very well something was wrong. "Have a good night, Moony! Don't sleep in!"
Remus smiled widely, standing up with a groan, his aching muscles protesting. "I won't, Padfoot.." It was nearly a whisper, but after a deep sigh, Remus waved his way out of the room and up the stairs, cursing at himself. Kreacher would almost certainly just throw it away, or not even notice it at all and wash and dry the pants until the picture was nothing but a shriveled up piece of card.
For a moment, Remus felt sick, but when he reached his bedroom and threw himself down on the mattress, he knew that he was just scared.
Meanwhile, Sirius shot a glance at the old grandfather clock, reading off One Forty-Five, and also felt a wave of tiredness come over him, but he shook it off, concerned about Remus and the way he had been acting since he had returned from Spinner's End. He knew his friend would never hide anything from him, or so he had believed for over 19 years.. If Remus lied to him, then nothing made sense anymore.
He knew it was like Remus to want to protect, and he sneered to the empty room, Snivillus, but not even he was the kind of person to take any sort of abuse freely, he had often showed Severus exactly how much he could handle before snapping, but the man just never listened.
Rubbing his aching temple with an open palm, Sirius decided to call it a night, and leave whatever was bothering Remus alone.
It would all come when the time was right, he thought.
~*~
FINAL CHAPTER - Why didn't he ever smile like that for us?
Kreacher had a bad habit of trying to piss Sirius off, and the last Black was convinced that Kreacher had a death wish.
At no more then three o'clock, Kreacher apparated into the large, Master Bedroom with a 'pop!', forcing Sirius to jolt awake, flailing ridiculously. Years of sleeping in Azkaban, and he could hear even the quietest spirit passing by. It was an automatic reaction to wake up at the slightest sound of anything now.
Sirius looked around his room, eyes adjusting to the dark, until he saw the silhouette of the wretched thing bending down and leaving something for him on the floor at the foot of his bed. Extending a tired arm, Sirius twisted the oil key to the lantern by his bed, causing a faint fire to build up in the confines of the lemon-shaped glass antique.
"Kreacher!" He hissed, not wanting to wake up Remus, who was sleeping in the room across from him, "Get the hell out of here!" He spat, and the elf scowled at him, crooked nose wiggling with defiance before murkily dragging himself out of the room. Sirius sighed in annoyance, bending forward to lie on his belly and reach for whatever Kreacher had left.
Patting his hands around of the darkened hardwood floors, he finally found it.
"Just Remus' pants." He said to himself, yawning. Carefully, he lifted them up from the floor, manipulating them in his hands until he found the belt line and grasping it tightly, letting the rest fall to the floor. Sirius looked closely for the bloodstain, hoping the pants hadn't been ruined, but he couldn't find it.
Sirius nodded, moving to fold the pants once more, hanging them over his forearm and folding them without a flaw when he heard something that sounded like a coin drop to the floor. Setting aside the pants, he leaned back down off the bed, patting around once more for what might have dropped. It didn't sound like it had rolled anywhere, he thought, reaching around in a circle until his hands came into contact with something that felt like paper. He found the corner of it the article and lifted it up, frowning curiously. Immediately, he saw it was a picture, but it was far too dark to make out anything, considering the picture seemed to be black and white to begin with.
Sitting up and finding his footing on the cold floor, he decided to turn on the light and give it a proper look.
~*~
Remus had been lying in his bed, tossing and turning restlessly, when he heard a knock against the solid wood of his closed door.
Oh well, he thought, it's not like I was sleeping much anyway.
He stretched his arms, trying to shake some feeling into them. He had always had a tendency to put his arms under his pillow when he couldn't sleep, and it always made him numb. As numb as his healing knee was.
"Hello?" He called to the dark, rolling his shoulders while propping himself into a sitting position.
"It's me!" He heard Sirius call from the other side, and looking closely, he could see the light shining from the bottom of his door, in from the hall. Remus frowned, biting his lip thoughtfully, he knew Sirius had a hard time sleeping after everything that happened to him, but he could have swore he heard the other man snoring like a walrus just moments ago.
Trying to sound cheerful, he switched on his lamp, "Come on in, Sirius!" Sighing, he pulled the blankets off from himself, hearing the door creek open, and a ray of dim light shine in, Sirius poking his head through the crack. "Did I wake you?" He asked gently.
"Absolutely not." Remus smiled, and waving his hand to invite Sirius in. "I was just not-sleeping myself."
Sirius passed into the door, closing it behind him quietly. Remus saw he was in his pajamas and looked quite sedate, but Remus couldn't put a finger on the feeling he was getting from the other man, which was strange considering the amount of time they had been friends.
Sirius tiptoed over to the bed, slipping on to the foot and sitting casually, legs hanging over the edge.
"Can I ask you something?" He whispered, and Remus suddenly felt like they were back in the Gryffindor Dorms again. The brown haired man nodded, widening his smile though he couldn't see Sirius' expression through the many shadows cast throughout the room from the dim light.
Sirius didn't say anything for a moment, but extended an arm over to Remus, in his hand, a picture, and immediately Remus felt his heart sink down through the floorboards, his smile disintegrating in a matter of seconds. In a sick way, he was happy to have the picture back, but he knew that this wasn't the time to think about it.
"Sirius.." He began with a shaking voice, clearing his throat and desperately searching his mind to try and find something to say. "I... I can explain.. It--"
Sirius shook his head, setting the picture down in between them. Remus looked down at it, to where Eileen was comforting her son. Remus felt a shiver up his body, but he couldn't face Sirius.
"Can I ask you..." Sirius' tone was mellow, and Remus could barely see that he, too, was looking down at the picture, which had started all over again, "... Why we haven't ever seen him smile like that?"
Remus felt his breath catch in his throat, and his head was suddenly free to move, he looked up curiously, a shake still flowing violently along his chest. "I-- Sorry?"
Sirius responded casually, picking up the picture and holding it to his own face, squinting to try and see it better in the little light there was.
"Why haven't we seen him smile like that? Ever?" Remus opened his mouth, and tried to find his words. Sirius patiently waited, seemingly not even caring if Remus would respond or not, just watching the picture.
"I... Maybe.. Because he hates us?" Remus shrugged very slowly, hitching his arms up and down, "And.. You hate him?" The word 'apparently' rang off in Remus' mind, but he saw Sirius shake his head, "If he had smiled like that once in a while.. Maybe I wouldn't have minded the git once in a while.."
Remus nodded, looking down, "That's why I took the picture.." He said, so quietly, almost he couldn't hear it, "I liked the smile. I've never seen it before." He heard Sirius grunt, and found the picture sliding along the bed, until it was right under his eyes.
Sirius leaned in to his bowing friend, "Me neither." He said pointedly. "But it's a nice smile."
The werewolf nodded, looking up at the other man, whose lips were quirked into an awkward expression, "Yeah..." Remus replied, a bit uneasy, "It's a nice smile."
--FIN--