Chapter I
Destroy, Control, or Synthesis? If Shepard chose to destroy the reapers, the Geth and Edi would die too. She couldn't do that, not after everything she went through to secure peace between the Geth and Quarians. And Edi, I can't sacrifice her, she's one of us, Joker would be devastated. No, Destroy was not an option, Control then? Follow the Illusive Man after all? Her battle hardened instincts were pulling her back, there are too many uncertainties, too many things can go wrong, and what the hell was she going to do with an army of Reapers? Synthesis was the only option, from what this boy was saying - creating a new DNA framework, a complete and mutual understanding between organics and synthetics - it actually sounded like the peace Shepard's been fighting for. But she would have to die. Garrus; she was going to have to leave him, again. Shepard could feel every crack, every splinter as her heart broke into millions of pieces. Not just at the thought of never seeing him again, which in itself was too painful to bear, but the thought of what it would do to him? He told her once that when she had died and he was left alone in the universe, nothing mattered to him anymore. He felt a large part of him had died with her and the rest was just waiting to catch up - his setting up a base on Omega was the only way he could cope; trying to implement everything Shepard had taught him. She nearly screamed at the injustice of this universe - She and Garrus lost each other, found each other again and now she had to die again.
The logical part of her brain chipped in; if you don't chose something you, he or both might even die anyway, not to mention all the other countless innocent people in the galaxy. She sighed, that was true. But is he telling the truth or is this all some trick? Even if it is, what choice did she have? In the end she could only do exactly as she had done in the past; follow her instincts.
Shepard started walking as fast as she could, which was barely faster than a crawl. Her limbs and open wounds protested every movement she made, at this rate the beam seemed an impossible distance away. She kept going, leaning over so as not to cause more pain to her left side when finally she gave up; what's the use? If I'm going to die, trying to save myself a few moments of pain is pointless. She dropped the gun and started running, tears already running freely down her face as she pictured Garrus, Tali, Joker, Kaiden, Liara, Wrex...
Without hesitating Shepard leapt off the platform and into the centre of the beam. Searing pain erupted throughout her body; never before had she felt pain like this. She could feel this beam, whatever it was moving through tissue, muscle, down to the bone and continuing through. Her body began to feel lighter as parts of her skin burned away, but still she could not escape the images causing yet another kind of pain. Why do I have to die? Shepard gritted her teeth, but not in pain, in pure seething rage. There was no way she was giving up her life, not again! She had too much to lose, too much to live for, and she was supposed to die just because some little synthetic boy programme told her to? Never!