Hey y'all! So this is a new fic I'm writing, I've been thinking about writing it for a couple of days now. It's going to be shorter that the usual (hopefully) and I really hope you'll be enjoying it. I kind of have it already planned in my mind, but if you want to suggest something please do. :) Also let me know what you think about it in the review section ;) you people are wonderful :)

Title Notation: I entitled this story "Frozen Lake" because it's the title of a song a friend of mine has written a while ago. I don't know, when I wrote the story it kind of popped into my mind, because I think that tony's thoughts are melting here.

Frozen Lake - J. Hanse

And I've been lying to you
If I said I do enjoy
Running around a frozen lake
Of melted thoughts I can't pursue
And I am waiting for it all
To rush me back to sweet sensations for the
Meaning of this mortal call

FROZEN LAKE

Chapter 1: Denial

"There are no survivors"

The words echoed inside Tony's ears but he couldn't make out their meaning. No survivors?

He stood there, as if nothing had happened. It couldn't be. Ziva couldn't just be dead. He would know it. He would feel it. No, everything was wrong. Ziva was not dead. She was his super Mossad assassin ninja, probably the most badass person he knew. She couldn't just die in a ship wreck.

He felt several pair of eyes staring at him. In fact, everyone had turned to him, to see his reaction. For now he had had none. His brain was simply not accepting the information.

"Tony…" Abby begged, tears filling her eyes "say something."

He just stared at her with the stupidest look he could pull. Why should he say something? Was something wrong? No. Everything was perfectly fine. Why was everybody staring at him then? He did what he thought would be best and pulled Abby into a bone crushing hug, just how she liked to give them. Was he doing good? Gibbs nodded at him, still looking worried but he assumed he was doing the right thing.

He just kept staring into nothingness, anyone who would see him would say that his eyes were empty. He, on the other hand, felt nothing.

They all left the Labby, some were making phone calls, others (such as McGee for example) were frantically typing at their computer. Tony just sat at his desk, staring at her empty desk right in front of him. After an undefined period of time he turned his head to Gibbs, who was staring at him intensely. They looked into each other's eyes for a minute, then Gibbs broke the eye contact. Tony was scared of what he had seen in his boss's glare: sadness and desperation, but most of all worry.

Gibbs was scared of what he had not seen in his SFA's look: it was just empty, soulless. And that, in any way, couldn't possibly be a good sign.

Gibbs understood: Tony was in denial. He couldn't deal with the pain Ziva's death would bring, so he just didn't accept it. And this was really bad, because once denial would be over, it would dawn on him, but the weight of the news would be a thousand times heavier, and he didn't know if Tony could stand it. He didn't know if Tony could ever live through it.

Then Gibbs thought of the liaison officer. Damn, Ziva, you really messed up with him this time!

Of course he was utterly crushed about the news. Ziva was like a daughter to him, and he left like he was losing Kelly all over again, but this was no time for mourning. He had to think about the other kids, those who were still alive. He could only brace himself about what would come next as far as Tony was concerned. The SFA would most certainly blame himself for her death. Truth was, it was really his own fault if Ziva had died, he was the one who left her in Israel. Well, she didn't come back because of Tony, but he was the one who had made the final call. Either way, this was really going to be one hell of a roller coaster.

The day went by, nobody said a word, not about the case, not about Ziva. The MCRT was awfully silent.

Tony was staring at his screen, and at Ziva's desk. He wasn't thinking though. His mind had been a blank the whole afternoon. Suddenly, he realized that Gibbs was standing in front of him, talking to him.

"What?" he asked.

"I said" Gibbs repeated patiently, with a soft voice that didn't sound like his at all "do you want to stay at my place tonight"

Tony looked at his boss as if he were trying to ask him out on a date. His eyes opened widely and he raised his eyebrows.

Gibbs understood he was probably too shaken to understand on his own so he added: "You shouldn't be alone, Tony. I thought some company could be of good use."

Tony frowned.

"I'm fine, Gibbs. I'll be staying at mine, if you are looking for me." he answered.

Tony packed his stuff and walked out of the bullpen. Twenty minutes later he entered his home. He threw his stuff on the coffee table, including his keys. He placed his SIG in the wooden box on the cupboard and sank into the couch. He automatically reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Dr. NO. That was exactly what he needed right now, a Bond Movie to get focused on something, anything.

He hadn't been watching the movie for more that fifteen minutes, than his doorbell rang. He lazily stood up and dragged himself to his door. He was still in his working clothes.

Tony was genuinely surprised when he opened his door to McGee.

"McGee…" he stated, surprised and a bit disappointed. Why disappointed? He wouldn't know. Maybe he was hoping it would be someone more…feminine. Who? Ziva? Maybe.

"Hi Tony. I brought you some pizza and some beer… Figured they might come in handy."

Tony looked at him as if he were speaking german, or something. Why would McGee bring pizza over to his place. Was he dating him too, among Gibbs, and he wasn't aware of it? He thought his co-workers were definitely acting really strange, today.

Tony didn't say a thing and stepped back to let McGee in.

When he realized McGee was in his apartment, he figured he really wanted to spend his evening alone watching a Bond Movie, rather than spending it in small talk with McGee.

"Actually Probie, I was expecting someone tonight." he lied.

"Really? Who?" his friend asked intrigued.

Tony stared at him of a few seconds and said:

"None of your business."

Tim understood this was about a girl. He let the pizza on the kitchen table, but kept the beer. If Tony was going for a hooker, he might as well not be drunk too.

"Fine, I'll leave then."

He turned his back to Tony and headed to the door. Once on his doorstep, Tony was about to close the door on him but he held it for a second and said:

"Don't do this to yourself, Tony."

He knew. He knew Tony was going to blame himself for the rest of his life. Tony looked at him quizzically, but simply answered:

"Goodnight, Tim." and closed the door.

He sat back on his couch and continued to watch his precious movie. Right in the middle of the movie someone said the word "survivor", Tony's eyes shot wide open, he jumped up. How could he have been so blind not to understand it before? "There were no survivors", Gibbs's words echoed once more in his mind.

"Ziva…" he muttered. Then it dawned on him:

Ziva David is dead.

AN: So what do you think? Should I continue? Please review! You'll make me very happy and inspired! (which I am not, right now)