Hello, so I am trying something a little different this time. Hopefully you like it.
I sit here in this candle lit room. My wife lay behind me. She'd been dead three hours. Oh how I wish to follow her, but I don't dare defy her. So instead I sit here an 87 year old man who is writing in a journal she gave me 45 years ago. Oh, how she begged me to write in it every day. She begged me to write it all down before Time, the reaper of souls, caused my memories to fog. Here I sit at 87 years old wishing I had listened to her. For now, my memories have turned hazy around the edges. Some just to foggy to remember entirely. So I write to fulfill her request, far too late, but at least I will finish the race before I pass through to the other side to join her.
This is my story. It's a long one indeed. I have no clue who may truly read it or who would ever wish to read the ramblings of a grieving man, but still I want her to live on. Even if it is only in the pages in a book. I wish to live through the passage of time with her, our lives to be a light in the dark and hope when all hope is lost. For that is what she was to me.
Though all this time, through all my moodiness, arrogance and even bigotry, she loved me. She even fell in love with me. I promised her once that every single day I would give her a new reason to love me. I do not know if I succeeded in that quest, but I know she never left me.
So here I, Draco Malfoy, sit writing the story of my life. By no accounts will it always be sunshine and rainbows, but you can count on it as always being honest. This is the story of how I, Draco Malfoy the arrogant, egotistical, ignorant, pompous, pampered bigot, fell from what I thought was Grace, only to find true, unconditional, never wavering Grace.
When I was young I was handed everything I wanted free of charge. I never truly understood why. Not until much later and it was far too late to change myself without a very good reason. I can see myself; strikingly blonde hair, greased back like my favorite godfather, Severus Snape. Dull grey eyes that bore into nothing most of the time. A sneer of contempt on my face and my nose stuck up in the air. Looking back now I laugh at myself. I was the little boy every mother wishes she could take a cane to, but she never got the chance.
I remember the moment I learned to ride a broom. My friend Blaise had come over shining bright, boasting about his new broom and how his father had taught him to ride it. My father was never a man to be out done then bought me a broom and forced me every day to ride the blasted thing. Even after I broke my arm and was terrified of it. He made me learn and to pushed me far too hard to be the best.
I guess I can thank him for one thing. He taught me to never give up, not until the bitter end. He may not have been the world's best father, actually quite far from it, but at least he taught me things that got me through in life.
I see my young self only 4 years old terrified, eyes wide hair whisked by the wind and lips trembling. I had never been so afraid in my life. I had a broom far too large for me in my right hand and my father yelling in my face about Malfoy rule number one. Malfoy's are the best. Never did he stop to think about my fragile self-confidence or even the trust he was breaking. That was truly the first time I realized why people did anything they could to placate him. He was truly a ruthless man.
When I finally caught on to riding a broom it was on the next thing and the next and again the next after that. Never once was I allowed to just roam free, live or even see as a child would, at least not when father was home. My mother was always my saving Grace then. She would take me in my room and show me fun little spells and sometimes when father was gone my mother would change out of her long beautiful dresses into just plain muggle jeans and we would run through the manor and the out laying grounds like mad people. If my father had ever seen that I think he would have locked her away and never let me see her again.
Then there was my ever faithful Whimsy, my house elf. She was my only true friend as a child. Again my father would have killed her if ever he saw us playing together. In fact, he did. I think that is when I started changing into the shoe that fit only one foot, Lucius Malfoy's.
Whimsy and I were playing in my room one morning. It was my favorite game. I was 7 at the time so we would play games about dragons and other magical creatures. I was always the prince saving Whimsy from terrible fate. She would swoon and faint, pretending of course, but then I thought it was all real. I was slaying a dragon she had transfigured out of my toy box. She was sitting in the canopy of my bed and I trying desperately to fight my way to her.
My father was supposed to be out all day, but he had come home early to "help" me train for Hogwarts, because of course Malfoys are the best. He walked into my room and saw everything; right down to Whimsy swooning. She fell and I ran across the room just in time to catch her. I was the prince, of course. That was when I learned Malfoy rule number ten. Malfoy's do not under any circumstances mingle with anything or anyone lower than us. That day I lost my best friend. My father ordered her to kill herself and she did so, the ever faithful servant until the end.
After Whimsy I lost all my childhood innocence and turned to the bigotry that he held in such high esteem. That was when I truly turned into his son, but never was I good enough. It still sometimes saddens me to know how truly vile I had become just to please a man who would never be pleased.
When I received my letter my father seemed more annoyed than anything else. My mother though, she took me for brand new robes and all of the things I could possibly want or need for the next year. When we returned home father brought me to his study. I knew going to his study meant a rather long talk about how Malfoy's behave or the like. I assumed that was all it would be. Merlin was I ever wrong.
Somewhere along the way father turned into a corridor I had never seen before. It was dark and dank; almost as though it were a cave in the woods. To say my heart was beating wildly would be a terrific understatement. I honestly thought I would die if it didn't calm itself. As we came to the end of the tunnel it veered to the left and down a spiral stair case. The walk alone could scare the life out of a man, but as a child I didn't understand, only followed blindly. Followed a man I adored and wished to be.
Soon we reach a dimly lit room. On the walls there were paintings of all the Malfoys before me. Taunting me and telling me I would never live up to them. As I took in the room around me my feet were suddenly taken out from under me. I hung dangling by my ankle from the ceiling with my father's nose almost touching mine.
"There is only one house you may be in, in this family. We are Slytherins. You must learn this. Even if the hat tells you that you are better suited somewhere else. You will be in Slytherin or you will be hung right where you are for the rest of you miserable worthless life. Do I make myself very clear?" My father hissed at me.
I didn't understand then, but he was grooming me for something much bigger than anything I could have understood. I had no idea why it was so important, but I followed blindly out of fear. I submitted to that man's every will just to survive the next day of my life. Over time I came to admire his cruelty thinking it was the way a man got what he wanted. The only way to truly be respected by those around and beneath you. At least that is how I saw it then. Now I feel quite foolish, seeing things that way. My wife tells... Told me that "I was just a boy, I couldn't have known any better." I still think she saw me in a way I will never see myself.
I very clearly remember the day Harry Potter decided not to accept my alliance. It was the first time anyone had told me no. The first time someone stared at me with contempt. I nearly threw a fit. Had McGonagall not walked out at the moment I think I wouldn't have had any dignity left when I was through, but alas the old bat stopped to in my tracks.
No one knows this, but I was terrified when I saw the sorting hat for the first time. I still remember the catchy little ditty it sang.
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge me on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep you bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and Chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're safe in my hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!
To tell you the truth when that ruddy looking cap starting hollering I nearly jumped out of my skin. I thought for sure it would try to eat my ears as soon as I sat down. Alas it did not though I am sure everyone in The Great Hall would have got quite the kick out of it. I think when my name was finally called I was sweating. I knew my life depended on getting sorted into Slytherin, but Malfoy rule number six, Malfoys do not show emotion other that disgust, distaste, morbid joy at another's humiliation and last of all anger. I carried myself with the poise and eloquence befitting a Malfoy. The overwhelming sense of pride when The Sorting Hat yelped Slytherin before even touching my head was indefinable. I had done something right for once. Maybe my father would be proud. Isn't that a laugh?
Well time went on and I just became more and more like him. I sneered like him; spoke like him, hell I even walked like him. A distinct swagger to my step only a Malfoy could pull off. I truly thought I was above everyone and everything; there was only one hitch in my plan. Hermione Granger. The little muggle born wench kept scoring higher in all our classes than I did. Boy was I in a fury about it. I felt the need to make her pay for being smarter than me. My father always threw it in my face no matter how often I told him that I did everything I could even changed a few answers on her homework before Snape graded it. Alas she was always just one step ahead of me.
She also had the one thing I wished I could have. She had true friends. Later on in life I would realize that all my jeers and taunts were for one reason and one reason alone. I wanted her. I had a crush on her. Not that I would have ever admitted that then, but I did. She was my equal in everything, save one place. The only reason I could never have her. Her blood and it infuriated me. So I made her life hell for making me want her so badly.
I remember when she punched me in the nose in third year. I swear sometimes it still twinges a bit. It was that moment the cemented my fall for her. She had the gull to hit me. That was something everyone else was afraid of doing. She didn't do it out of anger for me either. More so in defense of the creature I was having executed. I sure was a stupid boy then, wasn't I?
After I started coming to terms with Hermione being better at almost everything than I would ever be I instead went to taunting her and calling her disgusting things. Words that should never leave the mouth of a decent human being left my mouth directed at her. To this day I wish to cut out my tongue and hand it to her in remorse for the pain I had caused her.
The taunts became more of a past time for me. I felt powerful each time I would see the tears pooling in her eyes. She was always so strong though, not a single tear was shed in front of me. Never did she give me the satisfaction of seeing her truly cry because of my words. Harry and Ron though, Merlin knows they would have killed me if they could have gotten away with it.
I hated her and her friends for everything they had that I did not, people who loved them no matter what they did. They were truly loved and that is all I really wanted. Looking back now I know that, but then I just resented them for having something I wanted so badly and soon none of that would matter.
I remember the one time that I felt remorse for what I said to Hermione. It was just before the Yule Ball. I was hanging out with my "goons" as Hermione would later call them in the west courtyard. I saw her streak by with tears in her eyes. I knew maybe this time I would get she to see her cry. I excused myself and chased after her.
She stopped at the edge of The Forbidden Forest. She was on her knees sobbing. Whatever was said had truly cut her deeply I have never seen her so upset before. Inside I was singing with joy. I know I was an evil git.
"Hello Mudblood. Did one of your boyfriends break your heart?" I said mockingly.
"Leave me alone, Malfoy." She said as her tears seemed to have vanished as though they had never been there.
"Oh don't act like that. You should feel lucky I am even speaking to you, but hey we have an improvement. You are on your knees in front of me exactly where you should be." I hissed.
Hermione stood then and for a moment I thought she was going to hit me again. Instead she squared her shoulders and whipped out her wand. I don't know how she moved so quickly, but she was three inches from my face her wand digging painfully into my ribs.
"If you so much as utter another word I will gladly spend the rest of my life in Azkaban for ridding the world of the only Malfoy heir. Then your line of pureblooded bigotry will end and no one will be tormented by another Malfoy." She whispered mincingly.
I could feel her breathe on my lips. I had the sudden urge to lean forward and kiss her, to finally taste the forbidden fruit I had so long lusted after. Instead I put my heads up in surrender and back away slowly.
I stared at her face. Her mane of hair whipping in the wind and eyes alight with fury. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life. I felt a twinge in my chest I have never felt before.
I laid awake that night trying to figured out that feeling. I shot out of bed at almost three in the morning. Only then did I realize what I had felt was remorse. It was in that moment I vowed to stay as far away from her as I could stand.
I avoided her in the halls and only taunted Harry and Ron when she wasn't around. Needless to say my taunting became less of a past time. Something else replaced it though. Dreams of Hermione her body over mine, her lips on mine and her hands touching me. I thought I was going insane.
If I thought she was beautiful the day I confronted her by The Forbidden Forest. The night of the Yule Ball made me see her as a Goddess. The dress fit her perfectly and her hair in an eloquent up do. I almost came when she walked through the door. When I saw her holding the arm of that block head Krum I thought I would lose it. Most of the night I looked just like Ron; staring at her and glaring at Krum.
It was then when my ideology started changing. Then when I saw her crying on the stairs I knew I had to do something to make her feel better. I just didn't know how. So instead I grabbed her arm when no one was looking and clapped my hand over her mouth so no one would hear her scream. I had to wrap my arm around her waist and carry her up the stairs to the nearest empty classroom I could find.
I entered with her kicking and screaming trying to make me unhand her. I set her feet on the floor and stood behind her while holding her close.
"I am going to remove my hand now and then I will step away from you. Please don't scream and don't run. I just want to talk. I will prove it." I whispered in her ear.
I pulled my wand out and shove it into her hand and stepped away pushing her slightly away from me. I realize now that I hadn't really thought that through as she raised my own wand in my face and stood there like a goddess in battle.
"You have one minute to explain yourself Malfoy or I will stupefy you into the next century." She hissed at me.
I stood there for a moment weighing my options trying to figure out what to say to the one woman who terrified me more than anything else in this world.
"I saw you sitting there crying and I just felt the need to make it better. I know I am the last person to do that and I can't explain to you why. I don't know myself, but even you deserve tonight to be a happy night. You were happy and now you are not. I just wanted to see what was wrong." I explained lamely.
Of course she didn't believe me, but after a few more moments she lowered my wand. She looked at me and motioned for me to move away from the door. I obliged stepping out of the way.
She walked to the door after opening it she turned to me and did the unthinkable.
"I guess even someone like you may just have a heart. Don't make a habit out of this, Malfoy. For the next time you accost me in such a way I will hex you into oblivion. Try something a little more subtle next time." She said with a small smile gracing her face.
She handed me back my wand and our fingers brushed slightly. She walked out and that was the last time I was able to get close enough to her to even say hello. After that she avoided me like the plague and I hardened my heart to every woman knowing no one could compare.
The summer of my sixth year Tom Riddle gave me the task of killing Albus. I still hold to the fact that when I couldn't do it Albus looked proud of me. For a moment I could breathe, but it didn't last long. Really the memories of the war are very fuzzy and trying to remember them is like trying to catch smoke in your hands. I was running all the time and fighting for my life. Then Tom moved into my home and I saw more torture than I care to tell you. I will spare you the details save of one account; the account of Hermione Granger. My beloved wife. She became my light the day she showed up at the manor. My angel; she became my everything that night.
That night Bella tortured her in front of me and Hermione never truly broke. I had seen many people tortured, but when it was someone so close to me; something within me broke. Her pain filled face is ingrained in my memory forever. I wished deeply that I could have helped her. That somehow I could have stepped in, but I was a coward then. I could not have done anything for her same as I could not have done anything for myself.
When she got away I swore to myself that before everything was said and done I would prove to her that I would never allow anything to hurt her like that again. What a foolish boy I was then.
When the battle over Hogwarts began and I stood in The Great Hall watching it fall to pieces around me everything became real. I chose then and there where my alliance fell; it was not to my father and his sully group of Death Eaters. I ran looking for Hermione. I had to protect her. I found her all right being backed into a corner by Bella and I lost it. I stunned Bella as hard as I could. I ran to Hermione helping her up and checking her for wounds she shoved me off of course. I could not blame her not then and not now.
When Harry pretended to be dead my parents tried to get me to go with them. I refused. That was when I knew we had to win or I would be in some serious trouble. Then out of nowhere Harry rolled out of Hagrid's arms and all hell broke loose. I saw to many Death Eaters on him. I do not and cannot tell you what made me do it, but I just jumped into action. I stunned as many as I could while I was not shielding Harry from spells aimed to kill him. He looked at me as if I had grown an extra leg and head, but I continued. He yelled at me to help the others and that he had to take on Tom by himself. So I ran throwing myself into a sea of fighting witches and wizards.
I was doing just fine until Bella came up on me out of nowhere hitting me square in the chest with the Cruciatus. I felt the pain erupt throughout my body and fell defenseless to the ground my wand rolling away. I knew I was done for. Then suddenly it stopped. I looked up and there she was. Hermione. Her hair whipping in the wind and blood on her face, but strength in her caramel eyes handing my wand back to me.
"There we are even." Hermione shouted over the screaming.
"We aren't even close to even. I owe you more than I can ever repay. " I shouted back to her.
"Then you take my right, help me live through this and I will consider your debt paid in full." She said.
I did exactly what she told me to. Never wavering from her side we fought together as though we were meant to. Our movements in sync. Our spells were flawless and breathtaking. Soon the Death Eaters were almost all stunned or dead then we all saw it. A streak of black plummeting towards us. I grabbed Hermione, tucked her into my chest and rolled with her to get us out of the way.
"When did you grow some balls, Malfoy?" Hermione asked.
"The day you showed me what courage was." I replied pulling her up with me.
We watched as Harry battled Tom in the end defeating him for good. Soon Aurors arrived to haul the Death Eaters to Azkaban. I was sitting on a broken beam when someone grabbed me roughly pulling me up and tossing me toward a group of aurors who looked ready to cut my head off on the spot. Suddenly I was tugged tightly into someone's arms and shoved roughly behind someone. I looked down and saw Hermione clinging to me like I was her air. I looked forward and saw Harry with his hands out in front of him warding off the aurors.
"NO! You can't take him! He saved my life and Hermione's. Without him I would be dead right now. I take full responsibility for him. I will keep him with me until a trial date, but you can't take him now. " Harry all but screamed in their faces.
They backed down. Almost fearing what Harry might do it they tried to take me. I was awestruck. I did not know what just happened, but I knew I had to break Malfoy rule number three. Malfoys do not for any reason grovel to no man, woman or child. I fell to me knees and pleaded for their forgiveness and for their understanding.
"Please, please forgive me. I never meant for any of this to happen." I cried out.
Before I knew it, I felt a dam inside me break and I started spilling every secret I had to them trying to make them understand. Tears were streaming down my face. I bet I had snot coming out of my nose. We can suffice to say I was not looking much like a Malfoy in that moment.
I told them of my father and all his abuse, of my mother and my need to protect her. I told them of my fear and my cowardly behavior. I told them of my pain and my hopes. I them everything I had held in for so long.
I waited for the taunts and insults I deserved when I was finished, but instead I got something I least expected. I looked up and not only was it Hermione and Harry standing there, but the whole of the order was in front of me looking at me with compassion. Compassion... I did not even know what it was. I did not know what they would do to me.
"Well... Now we know why he was such a prick." George Weasley said.
"Oh! George! Must you really be so rude?" Molly said.
She rushed forward enveloping me in a hug so tight I thought my head would pop off my shoulders. Soon I was being passed around shaking hands and being told I would be okay. They would make sure of it and soon they all cleared off, save for Hermione. I sat down taking in to devastation which I had no doubt I had a huge part in creating. Silent tears fell from my eyes. I felt like I had destroyed everything that seemed to keep me sane in this crazy life of mine.
"You know it will all be repaired? It will be like it never happened, one day " Hermione said softly.
I wasn't sure when she had taken a seat next to me.
"I cannot help, but feel like this is all my fault." I said.
"Don't you dare take that on, Draco. Never take that blame on. You were a child brought up in this on the wrong side. You were groomed to do this. I cannot imagine how that felt. I still remember the night of the Yule Ball. Even then you were changing your mind." Hermione reach up and cupped my cheek. "Don't you dare take on the blame your parents so clearly carry. When it truly counted you fought for the right side. You chose the right side, Draco. You chose to do the right thing and against all odds, you and YOU alone, made the right choice."
I fell for her in that moment. She didn't know it then, but I feel hard and fast after that. She soon taught me the value of hard work. We both stayed at Hogwarts during the rebuild. I think I worked so hard my hands bled. I cried more in that 5 months then I have in my entire life. I put my blood, sweat and tears into rebuilding that castle. In the end I stood in The Great Hall and to this day there is a brick you will find in the east upper corner closest to the Draconis Constellation that says "I, Draco Malfoy, learned what it means to live, love, laugh, cry, say I am sorry and how to be a better man here in this very room." I still feel pride looking back on that day.
This seems like a good place to break off my story for the night. I wish to lay with my wife for a while before they take her away. To memorize the soft skin I so love; to memorize her face, her hair and her lips that once saved my soul. I feel the need to say my last fare wells before they take her to lay her in the cold unforgiving ground to stay until I meet her there at my end. I shall finish my story another day.
Draco stood from his chair stretching his age wore back and limping to the bed where his love lay. Her face was a mask of peace. Peace he had only seen in her. She had passed in her sleep. He had woken to her just like this. She was turned toward him as if she had laid there watching him as she passed. He laid his body next to hers remembering her voice. Oh, how he wished she was there to tell him it would be all right. That he could do this without her, but alas she only lay there still as a statue.
"My love, how do I do this without you? How can I face a sunrise and think it beautiful when for the last 60 years I have seen your face at every sunrise and it has surpassed the beauty in anything I see. How, my love, tell me how do I make it through this when you are my reason to live?" Draco removed his glasses and wiped the tears from his silver eyes.
He laid there for only Merlin himself knew how long before he sent a patronus to St. Mungos to come and collect her. He watched as a flurry of activity happened all around him. Healers, Aurors and no friends. No one there to help him through this.
Before he knew it they were gone. Leaving not, but her indent on the bed to remind him she was gone. Draco sat and hung his head low feeling the light fade from the world around him. He walked over and sat down in front of the book picking up the quill he continued his story, her story. He had to. He couldn't wait until even the scent of her was gone. He didn't know if after that he would have the strength to do it.
She stood by me as I came to terms with my father's sentence to the Dementor's kiss. She was patient as I pushed her away and fell into depression. Even if my father was a terrible man he was still my father. I felt as though I had lost a piece of myself. I was angry that I would never get the chance to have him change his ways. I was angry that I would never have to chance to have a real father.
She stood by me as my mother began to fall apart at her the lost of her husband. She pulled me out of pub after pub when I had drunk too much and took me home. Every time she took off my shoes and tucked me into bed as though I were a child. She gave me hope again. She helped me through it all without complaint. Then she saved my mother from herself. I still don't know what she said to her, but my mother pulled herself together and began to heal and so did I. All thanks to Hermione.
Hermione and I grew closer and became friends even. I told her my darkest secrets and she in turned listened without judgment. She forgave my all my transgressions. She believed in me and stood at my side during my trial. In turn I gave her my heart. I gave her my pride even though she didn't know it at the time. In turn she gave me self-confidence and humility, but most importantly one night under the stars she gave me her heart.
We were lying in the back yard at The Burrow after a long day of cooking and eating. We were finding our favorite constellations. I was explaining to her why my favorite was Lyra.
"Mine is Draconis. Do you want to know why?" Hermione suddenly said.
"Sure. I would love to think it is because it is the one I was named after, but I know better" I teased.
"Actually it is because my Hero was named after it. I wouldn't be alive today without you, Draco. That is why I love it so much. I can look up and see you anytime I want to." Hermione said turning away from me.
I reached over and took her chin in my hand pulling her face back to me. She was blushing, a pink hue spreading across her cheeks and down her neck. I figured I would take a chance right then. Now I do not tell anyone this and surely my reputation will be ruined when people read this.
Hermione was my first kiss. She was my first everything. I never had time to kiss anyone, let alone, shag half of Hogwarts. So here and now I lay to rest the rumor that I, Draco Malfoy, was and forever shall be nevermore, The Slytherin Sex God of Hogwarts.
When my lips touched her it was like my world shattered. My heart was pounding in my ears and it felt like a million years as I closed the three inches to her. I stopped a hairs breathe away and suddenly very aware I could be terrible at this.
"I have never done this Hermione and my track record proves that my first try at anything is always a failure." I whispered sadly.
It was my turn to blush now, but instead of laughing she just put her hand to my face.
"It is okay. Draco, I don't think you could possibly fail at kissing me. Just let go and do what feels right."
She then closed the distance between us and pressed her soft lips to mine. I followed her lead. At first it was gentle and affectionate, but then it changed. Suddenly she was pressed tightly against me and my hand slid around to hold her neck tilting her head back. Her were arms around my shoulders. Our lips were moving passionately together as though they were meant to move together. Everything we did happened that way. We always seemed to be in sync.
She pulled me down on top of her. I was afraid I would crush her under me so I braced myself on one hand.
"Hey! I found 'em! They are over here snogging!" Ginny called out.
Hermione giggled as I groaned. I pulled myself up and cursed the day the youngest redhead was born. Hermione on the other hand fell into a fit of giggles that soon took me with her. We were both soon laughing and clutching our sides. Everyone was staring at us as though we had lost our minds.
That night she gave me my first kiss. I in turn gave her my word and then my word meant something for the first time in my life I had a purpose all my own. She gave me that.
The one thing I never budged on was the one thing that Hermione hated. It even caused the worst row we ever had. Of course I was right, she was wrong and in the end she saw things my way.
I was kissing her again running my hands over her face. She was trying desperately to get closer to me. Soon I didn't think that even air could slip between our bodies.
"Draco, please. Please make love to me. Please I need you." She moaned into my ear.
I pulled away ducking my head away from her. I couldn't do it. I was old fashioned. I would wait until we were married to go that far.
"No, Hermione I can't." I said dejectedly.
She thought the worst of course and jumped up charging out of the room. I chased her. Trying to make her understand, but she had it in her head that it was because I was afraid to sully to Malfoy line with "dirty blood".
I lost it then. I started yelling at her. She was backed into the wall across the room just by the sheer volume of my voice.
"How could you possibly thing that? I fucking love you, Hermione! There I said it. I love you and I don't care who hears me say that. I love you and I want to do this right. The way it should be done. I don't fucking give two shits about your "dirty blood" as you so graciously called it. Merlin be damned! I have done everything I fucking can to prove that to everyone in this world that I have changed!" I screamed. Taking a deep breath and crossing the room. I lifted my hand to her face. "I love you and I can't make you mine until I marry you. I want to know that I did this the right way. I want to give you the Malfoy family ring and plan it all out. Make it perfect and then when I finally say my vows to the most beautiful, intelligent and amazing woman I have ever met; I will take you home draw you a bath, light so many candles it will be like night has turned to day and then and only then I will peel that blasted white dress off of your body, wash you from head to toe, carry you into our bedroom and make love to you until I can no longer move."
I finished quietly. The look on her face almost caused me to laugh. I probably would have if I wasn't so angry with her.
"Merlin, Draco I am so sorry. I thought... Merlin I can't even explain what I thought. Please forgive me. It was my own insecurities that got the better of me. I am so sorry." She cried out while tears streaking her cheeks. She slowly reached out as though I would push her away.
"You have forgiven me for much worse. I surely deserve any and all things you could possibly say to me, but please do not look at me like that. Like you think I am going to walk away from you. Hermione, I would NEVER walk away from you. It has always been you ever since you punched me in the face in third year and probably before that when you bested me in everything you did. Don't be afraid I am going to leave you. Please, it breaks my heart to know you could think that of me. I love you with everything I have please don't be afraid of me for any reason." I was almost crying then. I felt her arms wrapped around me so quickly I almost lost my balance.
"I love you too, my Hero." Hermione said then she gave me a breathtaking kiss. That was our first or many rows but none ever surpassed the anger showed in that single row.
A few months after that I finally found the nerve to ask her to marry me. I had never been so nervous in my life. I was shaking. I had long since given up the Malfoy rules. So she could see I was nervous.
I took her to our favorite hiking trail. It was two miles of wonderfully beautiful forests. It led to a lovely little pond with a creek running through it. Geese laid their eggs there in the spring in the reeds surrounding the pond. In the middle there was a small sandbar. We would sit there and watch the sun set.
So we walked across and sat in our normal spot. I looked at her and waited for the rays of sun to illuminate her face in pinks and purples.
"It's beautiful isn't it, Draco?" She asked me. That was what I had been waiting for.
"It is, but it is not nearly as beautiful as you, my love." I said kneeling in front of her.
"Oh Draco, you are such a sweet talker aren't you?" She laughed, smiling radiantly.
"I might be, but it you thought that was sweet then check this out." I replied. I had to be a little cheeky right?
I pulled out the Malfoy family ring. It was an emerald incased in silver with moonstones in the band. It was made over 200 years ago. The thing about it is that it changes to fit the person wearing it. To be exactly what they would want it takes away the guessing game.
"Hermione Granger, You are by far the most infuriating, stubborn, independent, hot headed, and clumsy person I have ever met, but more over you have been so amazing to me. You are my equal in every way. I love you to the ends of this wide universe. You have shown me what it means to work hard, to live a life worth living, to be a man, to love without restraint, to give without expectation, and most of all you have made me so happy. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are loyal, honest, far more intelligent than I will ever be, beautiful, kind, forgiving and my saving grace. I want a life with you and everything that comes with it. I want to buy a house, have children with your wild hair and my eyes, get a dog that will chase that damned cat of your up a tree and build a world of our own together. There is only one thing you have to answer to make me the happiest man in the world. Will you marry me, my love?" I was shaking so hard by then that I almost dropped the ring into the sand.
"Yes... Yes, Draco..." She gasped through her tears.
I slipped the ring on her finger and lifted her up kissing her senseless. That day I was sure I could never be happier, but my dear Hermione would bring me even more joy throughout my life, more than I probably deserve, but she believed I did. I guess that is all matters right?
Finally the day came. The day we got married. I couldn't have been more nervous if you had thrown me in front of Buckbeak after having disrespected him. I was standing in The Great Hall. It had been decorated with purple orchids. That was her favorite flower. Candles lit the charmed ceiling and all the torches were lit. The tables lined with thousands of people. I stood in front still awaiting Hermione. She took so long to get ready I thought she had backed out and ran. Just as I started to lose hope she would show up the doors opened and in came the bridal party. Any complaints I had about her having taken so long were blow away like ash in the wind when she finally emerged from the hall.
She walked in and my heart stood still. She was wearing a white floor length gown that hugged her in all the right places yet covered her modestly. It had transparent sleeves with a ring that looped around her middle fingers her veil hiding her face from me. I couldn't stand still. I was fidgeting with my cufflinks hoping I looked half and amazing as she did.
She was walking next to Harry. She had asked him to give her away because her father was still in Australia. She couldn't undo the spell she has cast on her parents and the only other person she could think of to give her away was Harry. As they reached the alter Harry gave her a warm hug and shook my hand.
As she reached me I lifted her veil and again my breath left my lungs. She was wearing only a little make up and she looked so natural. Her lips slightly glossy and her eyelashes elongated by mascara. Her hair was pulled back into a slightly messy bun with thin strands left out in their natural curls. Needless to say I was lost in her beauty.
A small smile graced her lips and her eyes shining bright. She took my hands and we walked to the minister.
I can't really remember much other than saying I do and starring into those deep brown eyes. I remember kissing her and everyone cheering. I remember dancing with her though. Oh, how we danced that night.
"Draco, I don't know how much more of this I can stand, my feet are killing me." Hermione looked up at me and whispered.
"Well then, I guess it is time to move forward with the night." I said winking at her.
We hurried to say farewell to all of our guests and then I took her hand. Spinning her into my arms, I swooped her off her feet. Holding her bridal style as I carried her to the apparition point. I had once last surprise for her that night and then I would make her mine in all the ways I had wanted for so long.
We landed gracefully on the lawn of our new home. A home I had picked out just for her. She giggled and told me she thought we were in the wrong place.
"No, my love, we are right are supposed to be." I walked to the front door and whispered a quiet Alohomora. I carried her up the stairs into our bedroom setting her down on the bed.
"This is our new house. Tomorrow I will give you the whole tour, but for now I will draw you a bath. Then I will message those sore feet of yours." I said, smirking at her.
Everything that happened after that I believe should stay between husband and wife, but I can tell you this it was a night to remember.
One year to the day later we greeted our beautiful daughter in the world. She looked just like her mother, but she had my eyes and pointed features. She was lovely.
It was all quite hectic if I 'm honest. I was sure Hermione would pull through just fine and she did. Within a few hours we were holding our new little baby in our arms, but that moment turned bittersweet because that night Hermione was losing too much blood. They couldn't stop it so we wound up in the hospital. At St. Mungos they informed us Hermione would never have another child. She was heartbroken, but we decided it was okay. We had our lovely daughter and we would love her the way we would love ten children. We then chose our daughter's name. Well, more so I chose our daughters name.
"Draco, we should stay true to your family's tradition and name her after a constellation." Hermione said to me after we were home and resting.
"No, I don't want that. I want our family to be new, something new. I want to name her something that really matters. Something that means something to the both of us, my love." I offered quietly.
"Did you have anything in mind?" Hermione said.
"Well, I have gone through several names and none seem to work or matter enough except for one, but it seems stupid…"
"Nothing you have ever put time and energy into is ever stupid, my love. What is it?" Hermione asked me.
"Well, I, uh it's… Grace." I mumbled.
Hermione just stared at me then she looked at our baby. She started crying. She sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"It's perfect. She is our Grace. I love it Draco." Hermione murmured.
Again I had found a little saving grace in my life. I smiled down at my new family. Finally I was home. Finally everything made sense. All the pain and strife in my life seemed so distant. I had finally found what I was looking for. I thought back to the day I make a choice to fight for the light. It was the day I chose my own path and the day I found my soul.
As I stared down at my wife and my daughter I saw my life. My family, I would treasure and love them the way a man should. In that moment I realized, truly realized I was not my father. I realized I chose the right side all those years ago.
So here I sit in the twilight of my life thinking back to Hogwarts and a day when Albus said something I never truly understood until this moment. He said "It is not our abilities that show us what we truly are. It is our choices." That is the wisest thing I have ever heard and out of all the choices I could have made I chose to trust and love and here I am. I can now say that my life has been a rollercoaster, but I have truly lived.
That morning Draco Malfoy was found sitting in a chair, quill in hand and a small smile on his face. His daughter Grace read the journal and had it published along with several of her parents photos.
Today if you walk to the far side of Hogwarts you will find two lone head stones.
One that says;
Hermione Malfoy
Lover, mother, friend.
To my beautiful bride
You were always my
SAVING GRACE
The other says
Draco Malfoy
Husband, Father, Friend.
To my Husband,
I made an honest man out of you,
but you.. You make a happy woman
out of ME.
That is the story of how Hermione made an honest man out of Draco. How through pain, hate, anger you can always find a light. No matter how dark it is there is always a light. Never forget that. Draco didn't.
