They lay in bed, kissing lazily, and Loki never wanted it to end. But then Tony's eyes snapped open, his 'idea' face, and he shifted in preparation for rolling out of bed, presumably to go to his workshop.
Loki objected, and jokingly, he grabbed Tony by the chin and moved him back to where he wanted him.
Tony froze, stiffened, his eyes going wild.
The familiarity of the action dawned on Loki and he drew back in horror, swearing. Tony retreated to the head of the bed, curling in on himself, tight around the reactor, shaking.
Loki looked at his hands in disgust. "I will go," he said, standing to leave the room.
"No!" Tony yelped. Loki stopped to watch him. Tony took a few deep breaths and tried to sound calmer. "No, stay, please. It's not your fault. Please." He held out a hand to his lover, making grabby motions.
"It rather obviously is," he disagreed, but he came. If Tony still wanted him there, he could not deny the man. He sank back onto the bed.
Tony's hand latched onto his with a pressure that might have injured a human. "Hey, gimme a chance to explain, all right? Might change your mind."
"Stark, the way I touched you... it was unwise. I could see your eyes change. You were no longer here and now, but in memory, and I can guess what memory that brought to mind."
"It's not you! It's NOT!" Tony insisted, eyes earnest and drilling into Loki. "Loki. Look at me. Out of the times I've been caught without my armor, and someone immobilized me and grabbed my face like that, the time you did it does not rank worst."
Loki's eyes widened fractionally, disbelief and a spark of anger.
"He paralyzed me. He shut down J. He took my reactor. And he did that, he grabbed my face, shook it a little, like he owned me, like I was a pet. Told me I'd been useful. Before that, I'd trusted him. He knew everything, I used to tell him everything. And he just laughed, took everything away from me, tore out my heart while I watched, and just..." Words failed Tony, and he motioned with his hand towards his chin, a twitch of his fingers indicating grabbing. "Did that. So no. The memory I snapped back to? Wasn't your face. It was worse. It was much worse."
The anger had sparked to inferno in Loki's eyes, and behind it had bloomed... grief? What was that about? He'd survived, Tony always did.
"Hey, don't... water under the bridge. Done and dealt with. He's dead, I'm fine. Just needed you to know why."
Loki considered Tony. "Would that I could kill him myself," he said, a tone no less terrifying for all that it was quiet and even. "Before he could hurt you so." His fingers very carefully brushed Tony's cheek, then moved into his hair, moving comfortingly and staying well clear of the abused jawline.
"Yeah, I gotcha," said Tony, stroking his wrist in return. "Few too many traumas to keep track of in this... whatever this is, on both sides. Wish I could spare you a few, too." Tony moved Loki's hand closer to his face, kissing the palm, then the fingers, showing his trust.
"You are far too generous with your goodwill," Loki stated.
"I don't even think that's a thing." Tony snickered. "Money, maybe. Cars. Houses. Jewelry. But goodwill? No such thing as over-the-top."
"And yet somehow," Loki replied, "you always find a way to be over-the-top."
Tony shook his head, grinning.
Somehow everything was perfect again.
