" Now how many days in a year
She woke up with hope
But she only found tears
And I can be so insincere
Making her promises never for real"
-3 Doors Down, Story of a Girl
Lovina Vargas started off as a normal person. Where we first meet her, she is eight years old. After her mother tragically passed during the childbirth of her younger brother Feliciano, the two were left to stay with their grandfather. Romulus Vargas cared for both of his grandchildren, but it was obvious to anyone that he cared for the youngest more than Lovina. In this first glimpse in to the past, she and her younger brother (who was only six at the time) were painting in their room. Of course, being how young they are, the paintings were both very childish looking. Childish as they were though, Feliciano's painting was beautiful. Lovina's was good too, but for some reason Romulus was in love with his little Feli's. Taking the painting in one strong arm and his grandson in the either, he walked in to the living room with them to show his friends.
"Look how amazing my little grandson's work is! He's my little Picasso!" the doting caretaker exclaimed. Being the oblivious person he is, he didn't notice the crying little girl standing in the doorway with a wet painting in her hands.
Time skip to when Lovina was fifteen, her brother was still the favorite of their grandfather and everyone else. Within the last seven years, Lovina had turned from a happy sociable girl in to an angry, jealous, and sour young woman. For years she had been pushed aside time after time again, whether it be from ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, her grandfather, her "friends", her teachers, or her crushes, they all chose thirteen-year-old Feliciano over the older Italian.
We come in on a time where the "happy" family is eating dinner. Feliciano had just come home from soccer practice and was eating all the pasta that could fit in his mouth, and Lovino was shoveling tomato sauce covered noodles on to her plate.
"Lovina? I just wanted to talk to you about that…" Grandpa Rome trailed off (that's what they called him).
"Talk to me about what?" Lovino looked up from her plate. Just when she was about to start eating too!
"You know what I'm talking about! Your eating habits Lovina! Look how much you're gaining, bella. That's not healthy." For once, the always joyful man looked serious and slightly angry.
"My eating habits are perfectly fine! Why are you on about this anyway? Feli is eating double my amount and he's two years younger! Why should you give a damn what the hell I eat?" Lovina counter argued.
"If anything you should be more like him! I'm worried about you Lovina! You're fifteen years old and weigh 145 pounds! You should be around 130 pounds, but you eat too much! The reason your brother eats that much and stays fit is because he does sports and has a high metabolism, but you don't have an excuse. At this rate, you'll have diabetes by age 30!" The Italian man (for once) screamed at his granddaughter. "It doesn't help that you swear like a sailor and have a sour disposition!"
Lovina was shocked. Why would he say all that to her? Doesn't he know how low her self-esteem already was? And with that, Lovina pushed her plate forward and ran upstairs with tears in her eyes.
That was the breaking point for Lovina. Now at age seventeen, Lovina had finally noticed all of the comments she's gotten about her weight.
"Hey sorella? Do you want to go for a run with Monika and I? It will help you get more boys~" Feliciano said once.
"You should not be wearing those pants bro! You've got a muffin top!" Gillian said the other day.
"Here you can borrow my sweater! It's too big for me anyway!" "Matthew said after Lovina got coffee spilt all over her chest.
After Matthew, her best friend and sweetest guy ever, had commented something about her obvious gluttony (albeit incidentally), she figured everybody else could notice how unlikable she was if even he could notice. 'So', Lovina thought to herself, 'I guess I'll just have to work hard to make myself better, won't I?'
It has been a few months since that fated day. This is where the actual story begins.
A/N: Alright, I am so sorry that I wrote this. I know it sucks, yet I just need to get these thoughts out. To be completely honest, I'm putting my plain raw thoughts in to this so I'm sorry if I offend anybody. Before I get any comments about romanticizing eating disorders, I'm not. I haven't actually had a diagnosed eating disorder, but this is based completely on personal thoughts and people I know. I don't want to go out of my way to hurt anybody, so if you get triggered by this kind of thing, please don't read this.