The forest is my favorite hideaway. Away from the city, the people, the nagging, the crowds. Away from my father. The forest was a safe haven, quiet but still alive and breathing.
I should admit, he really does mean the best for me. But is it really bad to ask for space? He'd been searching for a worthy suitor for the last 6 months, and I hated them all. My father had become a bug that flew at my ears for hours. Always there, buzzing about the same old thing. Whether or not we should search outside the city, or even the country. What kind of person would suit me best. He sometimes questions if I'm actually taking this as seriously as I should.
A doubled edged question. I don't think I've ever taken it seriously, but I was never lying when I told my father none of them would do. That's one thing I had going for me: my father wouldn't let me marry someone I didn't love. Love is too strong of a word. Perhaps, he just didn't want me to be unhappy. The older I get the more I realize that I just don't fit into this role. The role of royalty, and suitors, and running a country. To say I didn't care for my people would be an utter insult, but I wasn't meant for the lush lifestyle. And I definitely wasn't meant to force love on myself.
I just wanted to let love come, if it ever did. I really did not care, either way. I've never understood the tradition of taking vows before taking the thrown. Why did I have to wed in order to rule? Was ensuring an heir really that important? I'm surely not going to marry someone for the sake of producing offspring. It's a never ending cycle or unhappy lives for the sake of continuing a lineage. I wasn't going to let myself be miserable.
My father was growing more impatient by the days. He'd lost his temper with me just this morning, during breakfast. The conversation began friendly enough, like always, then he started mentioning suitors. I ignored him, continuing to gnaw on whatever stale food laid in front of me. I was intent on enjoying the cold morning air, because the talk of pending marriage would surely ruin it.
When I only responded to his questions with grunts he began raising his voice, and I persistently averted my stare. When he got louder I still wouldn't pay him any mind, and left for the woods with a "I'll be back later, Father."
This wasn't unusual. It was a normality for the both of us to carry petty squabbles with one another. But it was happening more so lately, notably starting when he was determined to find me a suitor. This was all horse dung.
That's why I snuck into the forest. The thing about the forest , though, is that you're not supposed to be in it. There are rumors of monsters and shapeshifter and mischievous pixies that will tempt you into staying. You'll be trapped into it's wonder and enchantment, so much so that you become part of it. Never to leave.
I thought that sounded perfectly fine. More than fine, it sounded wonderful.
Sometimes I believe I've already been entrapped. I'd never seen any such thing as monsters or pixies, but coming here was an addiction. I liked the quiet. I liked the way the cold, dirt ground felt, and the way the tree's roots snaked across the forest floor. The sun rays fought to reach the ground, and there were so many birds. They all sang beautiful songs. It was heavenly to say the least.
I sat for hours out here, occasionally until the sun had almost set for the day. That was rare, though. I couldn't get away with it most days, or my father would get suspicious. I wasn't even sure where he thought I was, I never gave specific details on my whereabouts. He probably knew. I think he'd be okay with me being snatched by pixies, less trouble for him.
The forest was a good ways from our home, and when I came upon it, the sun had finally reached high enough to leave streaks of sun through the trees. I trekked farther from the forest's edge, looking for a nice spot to settle.
My robe snagged on low bushes and twigs along the way. It always made me inwardly flinch, expecting to hear a tear. That was another thing my father frequently nagged me about: I refused to wear anything formal. I think it drove him half mad, seeing me in a torn up robe instead of a uniform.
I stop to pluck the end of my robe off a twig that had propped itself skyward. When the robe eventually gave, I paused to observe the new small tear I had just made, letting a heavy sigh out. Yet another thing for father to nag about.
I'm about to carry on my search when there's a rustle of leaves behind me. The sound travels for a few seconds, then seizes all at once. A singing bird from overhead stops, and there's a familiar rush of sound as they flee. The light is suddenly, and unnaturally dimming.
I've froze in place, robe still in hand. It strikes me odd for a second, that I didn't hear anything following me until just now. No rustling, no breathing. I was sure it was just me this whole time, save for the birds and rodents.
Whoever was stopped behind me released a low, inhuman whine, and that's how I know it wasn't a "who". I reflexively rose my hands in front of me defensively, dropping the robe, and slowly turning to my stalker.
A wolf presented when I turned myself. A rather large wolf at that, with the paws to match. I was really in for it. If I was going to be eaten today, at least it would be in the one place I loved. But the beast wasn't charging, nor was it angry. I took note of how elegant it looked. A proud animal. Staring right into my eyes
It's also worthy to take note of how abnormal this wolf was. It was nothing like I'd ever heard them described. The eyes were nothing like I'd ever seen in an animal, they held an understanding that only human's could obtain. A deep blue. The fur too. Their hair was almost a shade of blue, but not quite, verging on grey.
They whined again, stepping forward, as if to tell me they were harmless. They were telling me it was okay. I don't think it's smart of me, but I believe the nonexistent words, and lower my hands immediately. It was like this animal had put a spell on me.
And just like that I'm resting the weight of my body on my knees and letting them smell me and rub their body on my legs, running my hands through their fur as they wiggle. They were friendly, nuzzling my hand and sharing kind glances towards me. So soft and well behaved for a wild animal.
Perhaps they weren't wild; perhaps they were sent to lure me into a trap. But, what did I care? It was highly unlikely. No one dared touching these woods, there was too much superstition attached to them. As far as I knew, and as long as I was coming here, no one but me came.
"You're quite a beauty." I want them to know what I thought of them. I had a keen feeling they comprehended every single word I would utter. "Do you know that?" They continued to nuzzle me, reaching my face, their tail making vicious waves. Their nose was a cold shock on my cheek as they took deep inhales of my scent. I'd take that as a yes.
"Where did you come from, I wonder." They'd had enough of my smell and were beginning to rest their weight on my legs, still looking up at me with those eyes. What amazing eyes. "Oh no, please don't. My legs will tire, and this is already uncomfortable-" The dog seemed amused, because there tail was wagging even more violently. Their eyes were still locked onto me.
I succumbed to my fate, already feeling the tingling sensation settling in my legs. This whole situation was so baffling and enchanting that I didn't even care. They wouldn't have to force me pet them. I was already set on it.
Time passed quicker then expected. It felt like I was only caressing them for mere moments when I noticed the sun was near ready to start setting. Their eyes were half-lidded, fighting sleep. "It's alright, you can sleep. I don't want to leave you." I smiled down at my new friend, and they returned a sleepy sigh. It dawned on me that I was going to have to leave them soon. I didn't want to go back to the city, I definitely didn't want to see my father, and I surely didn't want to leave them behind. There was no way I could smuggle them into the city, or my home. It would raise too many questions that I didn't want to answer.
I felt the familiar sting of tears building up behind my eyes, it was rather silly how attached I had become in such a small bracket of time. I've always been a crybaby. "I don't want to leave you, friend." The wolf was broken from their sleepy spell now, cocking their head up at me. "I really don't, please believe me. But I have to go back." No tears spilled but my eyes were on fire.
They whined, standing from their position to nudge my face, letting their wet muzzle wipe slobber everywhere. It produced giggling from me, relieving the threat of tears. The wolf was trying to cheer me up, but it also felt like they were telling me to stay.
"I'm sorry," I grabbed them on both sides of their snout, making direct eye contact. "I really am, maybe we'll meet again." I offer a sour smile, lowering their head to kiss the space between their eyes.
I'm not quite exactly sure what happened after that. I'm not sure it was real at first, but when my lips made contact with their head there was a great burst of smoke. It was suffocating, taking over the entire, small perimeter that surrounded us. It smelled like what you'd think magic to smell of.
I let go of the wolf immediately and fell backwards over a tree root, releasing violent coughs. A coughing fit overtook me before I could open my eyes, waving away the remaining smoke with my hands. I thought my eyes had played a trick on me when the smoke cleared. There was no wolf, but a man. Sat directly in front of me. I naked man.
He was coughing too, a hand clutching the earth below him. I was too shocked to react at this moment. All I could do was watch. There was an ethereal beauty to him. His body was lean, but toned. Familiar blue hair. My heart was thundering.
When he finally looked at me, I would have been stupid to not recognize those eyes. They were the wolves. This man, if you could call him that, was the wolf. It was alarming how much faster my heart could beat when we shared that glance. What was he?
"You!" He was crawling towards me, clumsily tripping over his own limps. I don't want to admit it, but I was rather scared in that moment, and I hate to say that I did scuttle away from him as he approached. I think anyone would be scared. He reached me though, taking my hands.
"Yes, it's me." I was shaking, A mix of excitement and fear bubbling inside myself. "What are you?"
"Me?" He broke eye contact to look at himself, furrowing his brow in question. When I nodded, he simply said "I'm not sure." He seemed just as confused as me. And I'm not sure what came over me, but I laughed a genuine laugh. Maybe it was because I was nervous, or scared.
He softly chuckled, I'm guessing to try emulating me. It was a nice sound. It wasn't until I had stopped laughing to observe him that I truly realized he was naked. Completely. I pried my hands from his to wrestle my robe off, sliding it onto his bare back. His odd chuckling subsided quickly as he observed the fabric draped around his torso.
"Thank you." His voice was so soft then. It was silent for a good minute while he tutted with the robe. I took the time to force my eyes off of him and look around. The sun was setting. I really should be setting off for home soon. I didn't want to go. I wanted to know more about him, figure him out.
As if he was reading my mind, he grabbed my shoulders, and yelled "Don't go!" His grip was suffocating.
The stinging behind my eyes was starting again. "I have to." Why was I reacting this way to a stranger? An unnatural being, nonetheless?
"No, you don't!" He looked wild. Frenzied. "Stay with me!" Why was he just as fixated on me as I was with him?
"Where?" I was soft, and the stinging was still there. His expression was calmer, but he was confused now. "Where would we stay? Where are we going?"
"We'll find a place." He was suddenly delighted. Like I had accepted to stay. I couldn't; I barely knew him. Hell, a few hours ago he was just an animal. But he was something magical, and I was was something between us, call it what you want. There was a need for me to stay with him, and it was growing bigger the more I sat here with him.
But I shouldn't. I can't. I had a family and a country relying on me.
"In the woods?" I indulged the wolf further. A part of me wanted to leave my city behind. What good were they? All they did was take from me. The forest was more of a home than my city could ever be.
"If that is what you would like." He was beaming at me. I wanted to stay like this forever, just looking into his eyes. Being this close to him. Being in the forest.
"It is." I don't feel like I have control over myself anymore. I wasn't sure why I was agreeing to this. I knew it was a bad idea, but my emotions had taken control. Or was it something else? What was this man doing to me? I was halfway in a daze by now, lost in his eyes again. They were hypnotizing.
He leaned in to softly kiss the exact spot I had kissed on him earlier, before standing. His lips were wet.
"Then let us go." He's tone was something different now, almost ominous. He outstretched his hand to me, and I grabbed it, pulling myself up. I still couldn't find it within myself to care about leaving my father behind. Maybe, perhaps they were better off without me. I knew I was better off in this forest. With him.
I wasn't sure where we were going, but we walked on, together.
Later I would realize just how naive and stupid I could truly be.
Sometimes people never leave the forest.