Hey SPN fans please enjoy my first fic.
Disclamier: I don't own any of the characters.
Auto correct keep making Castiel into Castile, I can't stop it.
Set after 09x14
Sam knew from the moment he stepped into his room after Kevin left with his mother that there was something wrong with Dean; he couldn't help but think it was his fault for everything he said to Dean about not being brother's anymore, telling him that he wouldn't let an angel posses him to save his life – which was a lie that he regret after saying it, but part of him believed it but he still would protect Dean with his life.
He saw a piece of torn paper on his bed, his eyebrows knit together; he walked slowly toward the bed, Kevin wasn't the best at using his ghostly powers but he had been strong enough to leave Sam a message, he picked it up and his heart dropped, 'Dean is hurting himself, physically and mentally, please Sam help him.' Dean didn't seem as someone who would self harm but Sam didn't know Dean in every way possible.
Sam threw the paper in the bin, then slowly ran down to his brother's bedroom, being quiet he opened the door; Dean was looking down on his arm, blood dripping down it in rivers, "Dean?" Sam knocked pretending he hadn't seen what he had just seen, Dean freaked out at the sound of his little brother's voice, he threw his knife away then stood up placing his hands behind his back.
Sam walked in then walked to a shaking Dean taking a grasp of the eldest Winchester's arm, who used his strength to keep it back, but the tallest brother was stronger than him, Dean's face paled, old scars were gone now but the new one's were still fresh, a lot of blood falling down his arm out of his vein below the crease in his elbow, he wobbled a little but Sam caught him lowering him to the bed, "Wait here." Sam ordered, he ran into Dean's bathroom, he frantically tried to find a towel, but Dean's shower room was a mess. When he found it he ran out.
Dean had tears running down his pale face as his baby brother ran back out, he placed it on Dean's wound; Sam placed his hands on his brother's face, "Look at me." Dean kept looking at the floor as Sam stopped the bleeding, "Hey look at me you jerk!" Sam ordered, Dean's green eyes met Sam's, "Do you take everything I say seriously, I never told you to hurt yourself Dean! I love you too much for that, you're my big brother and if you ever feel this way, you tell me! No matter what situation we are in, be it that we're at each other's throats or we're the best of friends! You always tell me, you okay with that." Sam screamed.
"Sammy...I'm sorry." Dean got out, warm salty tears ran down his face rolling off his cheeks, once they started, he couldn't stop them; his tears just kept tumbling down his pale face until they became silent, he just caught sobs in his mouth, "I'm-" He chocked.
Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, Dean buried his head into Sam's shoulder then wailed, "I know you're sorry, just let it all go." Sam told him not letting of his big brother, he grabbed Dean's mp3 player from the side as Dean tighten his grip; his sobbing now silent but Sam could feel his chest rising then his breathe coming out in small gasps. He pressed play on Carry on my wayward son lullaby version, Dean had almost five different version of the song, it was the song his mother used to play to him when he was young.
Sam placed the headphones over Dean's ears; his wayward brother seemed to calm down almost straight away, just his last few tears escaping. Sam held down the towel but never once did he let go of Dean. When Sam had been young Dean would play Carry on my wayward son to help Sam get to sleep but also help himself, all the different version playing on their old radio; it drove their father crazy but it was their song which meant the world to them.
It didn't take long for Dean to fall into a deep well deserved sleep, Sam lay him down under the duvet but kept his injured arm up on the cover which he stitched up, he went round looking for everything sharp; he picked up all the hidden dagger, knifes, butter knifes from Dean floor, draws; wardrobe, behind the bed stand – Sam felt tears fall down his face after he found almost fifty knifes hidden in Dean's room, some of them could never be used for hunting, but could definitely be used to hurt oneself.
He walked out the room and hidden them in his room, then walked back to take all the ammunition out of Dean's loaded guns, when they went hunting he would give it back to Dean but right now; he wasn't taking any chances. After he had been he got Dean into his pyjamas, which was just a plain blue t-shirt with matching pants, he made sure his brother's arm was bandages were tight enough, he make sure Dean's head phones were comfortable with his songs playing on shuffle then he tucked him in.
On the way out he turned the light off then closed the door, he turned back resting his head on the door as tears ran down his face, he walked off back to his room but that night Sam Winchester never got any sleep, it was too painful; everything Dean was going through had been kept from Sam but not this time, this was now Sam's problem; Dean was his brother and what ever happened Sam must protect his big brother from himself.