Something I decided to try and write a while back. I hope is isn't too terrible for your guy's liking. It's meant to mostly be goofy. I know the timeline is a little off, but I made it so, as so the story will make slightly more sense. Also, in all obviousness, Thorin, FIli and Kili survived the Battle of the Five Armies. I plan for that to eventually be explained later on. I plan on posting the other chapters as soon as they're done. Comments and suggestions are welcomed. Enjoy!
It was more Kili's idea than anyone's. [Alright, so Balin and Bofur were in on it, too, but that was beside the point.] He was - or so Thorin liked to believe - the one most fond of their burglar, and it didn't hurt to say that Bilbo had treated Fili and Kili more like kinsmen more than he had most of his own family in the Shire [or so the Hobbit's short ramblings of the his own kinsmen made them believe]. And bsides, they had heard little to nothing from the Hobbit since his journey back to the Shire, and Gandalf's information wasn't very much to go by.
Kili had promised that a letter would be sent to the Hobbit beforehand, as so no trouble would befoul them when they showed up on his doorstep. Bilbo hadn't seem too pleased the first time they met, after all, and though he had welcomed them back with open arms when they had parted ways, they did not feel like concuring the Hobbit's tiny wrath. Thorin had attempted to keep their party in Erebor longer - becoming King after the Dwarves going so many years without one made things harder on he and his kin - but five years of not seeing the burlgar seemed long enough for the younger members of their somewhat dismembered and disgruntled group.
It took three months before Thorin managed to find some way to temporarily relieve himself of his duties, even for a few short weeks, however Dis was quite happy to take over for her brother if it meant he got some rest. So after many days of packing and preparing, eleven Dwarves set out for a second journey to the Shire; Gloin choosing to stay in favor of his wife and child, and Balin - even though he was the one who had pushed the idea more than once to Thorin for the group to head out - staying to aid Dis in keeping everything in order while the company was away.
111
If the Shire had not known of their arrivail beforehand, then they sure would have by now. Dwarves were often loud and boistourious creatures, save for the calm before a battle; and had there not been a set path for the men to take, then surely any plant life would have been trampled and made no more. Their laughter was close to contagious; most Hobbits they passed that were not giving them a worrisome eye were left with pleasant smiles.
"It seems greener than it was when we were here last," Bofur mused aloud, half coughing as he passed a long pipe to Dwalin beside him.
"Perhaps it's 'cause we're here on better terms," grunted and panted Bombur, having to half jog to keep up at the end of the company.
"Hobbits do enjoy their nature, I hear," said Dwalin, half choking as he returned the pipe to Bofur. "Prefer it, actually."
"Oh, and what would you know about Hobbits?" asked Thorin, barely turning his head away from the road ahead. "We hardly knew they existed until the wizard sent us here."
"I know they're very good with their crops," Dwalin said with a harrumph. Bofur coughed, trying - and failing - to hide a smirk.
"I don't think that counts," chuckled Fili.
"Though I'm sure they'll happy to share their secrets," Kil went on, "if you only ask nicely."
No one could hardly hold back the laughter that bubbled in their throats; except, perhaps, for Thorin, whose expression stayed even, even as his gaze darted this way and that. He had lost his way once before; and that was when he was alone, and it had been quite dark. It would be rather embarassing to have his entire company lost in broad daylight.
Thankfully, that was not the case.
"You know," said Kili, easily dashing around his Uncle [causing the older Dwarf to grumble and give an empty threat], and towards the green door high atop the hill, "it's quite nice Bilbo lives where he lives. Makes it easy to spot."
"Tell that to Uncle," Fili snorted.
His glee was short lived as a thump resonated around the company; another round of laughter jolting through their small ranks as Fili rubbed at his now sore head. The heir was quick to join his brother before any more punishment could be brought upon him.
"Let's just hope they remember to knock first," said Nori, "'least we get on his bad side."
"I didn't know Bilbo had a good side!" Another 'round of laughter erupted within the ranks, and even Thorin could not hold back a smile at the thought.
The King of Erebor was not the one to admit that he, too had missed the burglar since his departure from Erebor. Although he had been offered home among the Dwarves for aiding them in returning to their home, the Hobbit had declined; speaking of too much business that would need taking care of, even though one could easily tell he wished to stay. No one had questioned what business such a Hobbit would have, although it was in Thorin's mind to do so when he had the chance.
At the door, Kili skidded to a stop, pausing to take a look at his surroundings. Nothing had changed much, it seemed, besides a sapling that sat in the front yard. Had that been there before? Kili couldn't quite remember. The youngest Dwarf gave a courious glance at the door again as Fili finally caught up.
"Looks like he painted his door again," joked the blonde as he nudged his brother's. Kili chuckled at the joke. "You want to knock," Fili went on, "or should I?"
"Just hury it up, lads," complained Bofur as the rest of the company grew near. "We haven't ate since this mornin'."
"Oh yeah?" asked Dwalin. "And what would you call what you had not two hours ago?"
"I think Bilbo called it 'Tea Time'," replied Bofur after a moment of thought; to which he received a few bops on the head by his fellow Dwarves.
"Just knock on the door," Thorin said, leaning in as to only be heard by his nephews.
Kili obeyed, knocking on the door three times and taking a half of a step back. The brothers had smiles that Thorin didn't quite like as Kili stood a tad bit taller. A moment went by, and the younger heir was half tempted to knock again when the door finally began to open.
"Fili -"
"And Kili."
"At your -"
The boys' greeting was brought to an abrupt hault as, while half bent, they were brought almost eye to eye with a small Hobbit child. At least, that was what the surprised visitors assumed him to be. Said Hobbit child, upon opening the door, paused a moment. Seeming to realize what he was being faced with, the curly haired brunette's blue eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped. One could swear he uttered the word 'Dwarves' in amazement at one point in time. In his amazement, the door was let go and swung open more; light filtering into the dimmed Hobbit hole. After a long moment, Thorin finally spoke.
"Did the Wizard ever mention Bilbo getting married," he muttered to Dwalin, leaning back as so he could hear more while keeping an eye on the gaping child, "or having a child?"
"I - don't believe so," was the warrior's reply.
"Maybe we have the wrong house," squeaked Ori, his nose scrunching up as he took a step back fro the group to take a look around.
"Maybe he moved," muttered Bombur. Thorin sighed, straightening before ushering his nephews aside.
"Excuse me, child," Thorin rumbled, kneeling down as so he wasn't towering over the boy, "but do you know of a Bilbo Baggins that was supposed to live here?" There was another moment of silence, the boy's glance darting from one Dwarf to the next, before landing back on Thorin. His answer was not one they expected.
"Uncle Bilbo!" shouted the boy, turning and disappearing further into the house. "Uncle Bilbo, Uncle Bilbo!" The boy's shouts disipatted as a door was heard being opened and shut again, leaving the Dwarfves to nearly crowd the open doorway.
"Uh - Uncle?" Fili asked as Thorin stood slowly. Everyone around him seemed to be wearing the same puzzled expression. "I didn't know Bilbo had a nephew, too," Fili went on, taking his own glance around the company.
"I don't believe he ever mentioned it," said Ori.
"Well, what're you all waiting for?" said Bombur from the back of the group, "he's obviously here - so why don't we go in and wait?"
There was a vibisble shove from the back, the group surged in; albeit Thorin complaining quite loudly during the duration of coats, metal, and the likes being sat down every which way..