A/N: Okay, so I've been working hard on this for what seems like FOREVER, but it's finally as finished as its going to get... I can't really say a lot without giving away the end, but I hope you like it! Basically it's an AU where Scully kept Will and he turned out normal. There's quite a few plot holes and such, but feel free to fill those in mentally as you please:) Also, thanks to my beta reader Gillyfan! Please tell me what you think, I know it's not perfect!
Disclaimer: I love you Chris Carter, don't sue me
Everything I Ever Learned...
My family was not a conventional one. That doesn't mean that it was a bad one, no, I love my mom and dad. I learned, fairly early on in life, that they were different than my friends' parents though.
My parents were never married. In fact, much to my and my mother's, embarrassment, I learned what marriage was in first grade when I was completely clueless to my teacher's excitement over "the proposal".
"Class, I have some very exciting news to share with you all."
"Oh my gosh, what?" shouted a girl from across the room.
"Well", she said, smiling wide, "remember the man who came in and helped you all with your paintings yesterday?"
"Yes", responded the class.
"He asked me to marry him!" her face could barely contain her smile. She flashed her left hand for all of us to admire.
The class broke into excitement.
"Miss Taylor, can we be in your wedding?"
"When's the wedding?"
"Now you'll be a Mrs.!"
"What does marry mean?" I shouted loudly over the entire ruckus. The class fell silent. No one dared to speak.
My mom picked me up that day, and when I told her about the incident her faced flushed, and she smiled, but I could detect a hint of worry.
"Well?" I demanded.
"Well what?"
"What does it mean?"
"To marry someone?" she asked me.
"Yes", I almost yelled. I knew she would be annoyed, but I really needed to know this, and I was getting tired of her dancing around it the entire ride home.
"Will, you marry someone that you really, really like. Someone that you love. Someone that you love a lot."
"I love you mommy, will you marry me?" I said, just trying to be silly. I knew that wasn't what she meant, but I loved to make her laugh. And laugh she did.
"Not like that Will!" she exclaimed, still hiding her laughter behind a mask of seriousness. "You marry someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life. See, marriage is sort of like a promise. A promise that you will love that person, forever and always, and that you will protect them, respect them, care for them, and do everything you can to make them happy", she said. "No matter what", she added quietly.
"I still don't get it", and I really didn't.
She sighed and said, "You will. When you get older." That had got to be the worst response in the world.
"Why aren't you and daddy married?"
She was very quiet. She was very quiet for a long time. So long, that I was worried I had made her angry, even though her face showed that she was thinking.
"Love is complicated Will", she finally said. Just then, the door opened and in walked my dad. We both rushed up to greet him and the next time my mom and I spoke about marriage would be far in the future.
That was the first day I had any idea that my parents were different. After that, I slowly began to piece things together. I made sense of late night, hushed conversations, I observed my friends' parents, and I asked more and more questions. I still remember asking for something that many only children ask to receive on Christmas. I was eight.
"Dad?" I asked cautiously. I knew what I was about to ask for would sound strange, but I needed to know. I couldn't ask mom, because I knew she would just tell me that 'I would understand when I was older', or something like that. I was old enough then!
"What's up Will?" he asked, turning towards me.
"I know what I want for Christmas", I said bravely. There was no turning back now.
"Oh yeah", he smiled. "I'll get you anything", he said. He was always eager to please me.
"A baby sister", I announced. I knew right away by the look on his face what my answer was going to be. He sat back, like he was trying to remember something. When he made eye contact with me again he looked very sad.
"I'm sorry Will, I'm afraid we can't."
"But why? I want a little sister more than anything! Remember Tommy?" I asked. Dad nodded slightly. "He got one! Her name is Annie and she's so sweet and cute!"
"Will", he started to interrupt me.
"I promise that I'll take care of her! I would never let anything hurt her! I would teach her to swim, to bike, and to play baseball! I want to be a big brother so badly! I could even baby sit her while you and mom are gone!" I was growing desperate now. Dad looked very upset, so I stopped talking.
I'd never seen my dad cry before.
"Daddy", I said. I hadn't called him daddy in forever. "Please?"
"Will, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so very sorry."
"I'm sorry I made you cry", I said feeling awful inside.
"Your mom, she can't have anymore babies. It's very complicated, but basically, she has a medical condition. You were never supposed to happen." I was never supposed to be born? "Don't take that the wrong way!" he said fiercely. "You are a miracle, and you make your mom and me so happy. Every day we look at you, we see something unbelievably wonderful and lovely. I wouldn't trade you for anything."
Then we hugged, and he took me to the living room to watch a movie. Later that night when mom came home, I snuck downstairs while I was supposed to be in bed and listened to them talk.
"Are you sure you still like Quantico?" dad asked.
"Mulder, stop worrying, I love teaching there."
"I just want to make sure you're happy. I know that this isn't exactly the normal life you always wanted."
"Mulder, I thought we were past this by now!"
"And we are. Is there a problem with making sure that you're happy?"
"Well, it does imply that you think I'm unhappy."
They sat in silence for a couple moments, and I'm pretty sure that they were kissing. Gross. For all their quirks as a couple, that was one thing they did that was normal, and I wasn't sure that I appreciated it.
"Scully, Will asked me something today."
"I hope you did not agree to buy him that new video game for Christmas."
"The one with the alien invasion?"
For some reason that made her laugh, although I wasn't sure why.
"What did he ask?"
"He asked for a baby sister", dad said, so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.
"Mulder", mom began, but dad interrupted her.
"I just couldn't make any false promises."
They were both silent for so long that I got bored and went to bed.
They did that a lot. They would be in the middle of a conversation, but then they would both suddenly look at each other funny and go silent. They never picked up quite where they left off, and I began to realize that my parents could talk to each other with simple facial expressions and hand gestures. I only realized that this wasn't normal when I was watching other parents.
I kept wondering when they would stop talking!
One day both of my parents sat me down to have a talk. A talk about their past. I was 14.
"A talk about what?" I mentally ran through the past week, I hadn't done anything to get in any sort of trouble that I could remember.
"Some things that we know you're curious about, like, our life before you", said mom. She had me there. Much of my parents' past lives were a mystery to me.
"Ask us anything", said dad. I chose the first question that came to mind.
"How did you meet?"
"We were assigned to work together in the FBI", began mom.
"Well actually, she got stuck with me."
"Mulder!"
"Don't even try to deny it Scully."
"Whatever!" Mom rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully. She was trying to look upset, but her smile shone through. That made me happy.
"I already told you about the X-Files, right Will?"
"Yeah", I answered, thinking of all the adventures he had told me about. I knew now that he had romanticized a lot of it, but the stories made me smile.
"Well, for a while it was just me down in the basement... All alone. Then, your mom got stuck with the job of spying on me, and we've been together ever since."
"Mulder!"
"What?" dad asked in mock innocence.
"Wait", I said, trying to say this in such a way that would avoid embarrassment. "When did you guys... You know", I paused. "Become, like, an official couple?"
They looked at each other for a moment, having another silent conversation. Mom spoke next.
"Well, you know Will, the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones rooted in friendship. You know, one day, you look at the person", she gestured to dad, "and you see something more than you did the night before."
"Like a switch has been flicked", said dad. They both looked so deep in thought.
Neither of them were still in this moment with me. They were somewhere else. Just like a million times before dad placed his hand on the small of mom's back. I don't even think they realized that he did that.
"And suddenly someone who was just a friend is the only person you could ever imagine yourself with", mom finished. Then, suddenly, they both snapped back to reality, except dad's hand stayed on mom's back.
That was weird.
"So when did", I held up my hands for air quotes, "the switch get flicked?" This prompted another silent conversation.
"Seven years", they finally concluded in unison. My eyes must've widened because dad laughed.
"I know it's hard to believe I could've controlled myself everyday for seven years around a beautiful woman such as My Scully, but"-
"YOUR Scully?" said mom. Her eyebrow moved up an inch on her forehead.
"Uh..." I knew it was my job to save dad here, so I asked the first thing I could think of.
"Why do you still call each other by your last names?" This proved to be another difficult question.
"Well, I hate the name Fox", said dad. "And I guess your mother has always been Scully to me. I mean, she's Dana to me sometimes, but..." he trailed off. His unspoken words hung in the air. 'She's my Scully.'
"Yes, while I would never put your father through the undeniable torture of being called Fox, I suppose he's just always been Mulder. I tried to call him Fox once and was IMMEDIATELY rebuked." She turned to dad. "Remember the root beer?"
The what?
They shared a private smile before they turned back to me.
I continued asking them questions, but I never did approach the subject of their relationship again during that conversation. I asked them about most of their in-jokes, like Joy to the World, Buck Toothed Sheriff Hartwell, Walking in Memphis, Mr. and Mrs. Spooky, and too many others to count.
They told me about the serious stuff though too, the stuff about a man who smoked cigarettes, a horrible virus, and alien implants. They told me about mom's abduction and cancer. They told me about dad's abduction. They told me about The Lone Gunmen, about Skinner, and even about Fowley and Spender. It took forever, but by the end, I felt good.
That was a nice day. After we finished talking we went out and got pizza. I ordered an iced tea, while my parents ordered root beers. There was one thing I regret not asking though, and that was the question I had pondered almost my entire life. Why were they not married?
I'm not sure why I didn't ask, I mean, they told me to ask whatever I wanted, and that was the most burning question I had. Something held me back though, and to this day, I still don't know what.
"Yesterday I turned 18 years old. I wish that my parents, Mulder and Scully, had lived to see that day. I wish they had lived long enough for me to tell them that I want to be a doctor. That I might even follow their footsteps into the FBI. I guess that makes me Spooky Jr." There was a little nervous laughter throughout the crowd.
"I had originally written something that detailed some special moments that I shared with my parents, and some special moments they shared with one another, but at the last minute I scrapped it. I don't want this funeral to be some sort of procession during which we weep over everything that happened in the past, and how none of that will happen anymore. I want this to be an event in which I relay something very special that my parents taught me."
Suddenly I'm nervous. Am I heading in the right direction with this? I make quick eye contact with Skinner in the front row, and maybe it's my imagination, but he seems to be giving me the affirmative.
"Everything I ever learned about love, I learned from my parents. They showed me that love is not just about wanted to kiss someone, or even wanted to talk to them, or to see them smile. It's about respect, it's about trust, and it's about a certain kind of awe.
Before they loved each other, they respected one another. There were the little things, like dad opening doors for her, or mom using slightly smaller medical words. Then there were the big things, like dad sending flowers to mom's mom, my grandma, when my grandpa died. And how mom never once voiced doubt about Samantha's abduction.
They trusted each other more than they trusted themselves. Dad told me himself, that he once told mom that. There is something to be said for a couple that does whatever it takes to make sure the other is safe. There is also something to be said for a couple that knows when the other is in danger, simply by some sort of almost telepathic communication I will never understand. Part of that comes from natural chemistry, but part of it comes from something unbeknownst to me.
Something that I feel gets overlooked a lot when it comes to love is awe. They never told me this, but I'm pretty observant, so I know exactly how my parents felt about one another. Mom admired dad's stubbornness, his refusal to give up. Even in the face of defeat he continued, I mean, this man has come back from the dead before! Dad admired mom's strength. They told me about the periods of time when mom was without dad, and he told me, "If I was your mother, I would've killed myself when I found me... Dead."
The brutal honesty with which he spoke touched me.
My dad was forever in awe of mom's ability to carry on, and today, I owe my life to that strength. I owe my life to her belief in the truth that Fox Mulder was my father."
I paused for a couple moments to gauge the reaction of the crowd. They looked... contemplative. This was the moment I had waited for, since... Well, technically since last night when I scrapped my entire first speech. The moment in which I revealed my secret I had held close to my heart since the puzzle pieces fell into place, and I was finally 'older'.
"Ever since I was in first grade I had wondered why my parents were not married. I wondered why their left hands were left barren; I wondered what could possibly be keeping them from taking such an important step in life. Then, last night, I figured it out.
I thought about all the stories they had told me. I thought about the cases, all the mysteries, and all the moments they shared. I thought about me, and what I meant to them. Then everything fell into place.
When they disagree, they argue with an intensity I've never seen, but then they always manage to match that intensity when they make up. Their arguments are not tennis matches; they are the waves in the ocean. They are the natural ebb and flow of the water, to the shore, and back out to sea.
When one of them walked into the room, the other became someone different. Like a missing page in a book was suddenly found, tucked inside the folds of another book.
Their love performed miracle, after miracle, after miracle. I'm living proof of that, and for a while, dad was too. Now, the miracle is that neither has to live without the other. The miracle is that death never did them part."
I was crying so hard. I needed to say this though. Everyone needed to hear it. Everyone. The people who worked with mom at Quantico, Skinner, Monica and John, everyone who was here, and also those who weren't. The Smoking Man, Alex, the Gunmen, Mellissa, Emily, but most importantly, Mulder and Scully.
When I spoke my voice did not quiver, and it did not falter.
"My parents never married because they did not need it. Love is not marriage, love is not adoration, and love is not even a promise. Love is like life, in the way that it is the combination of a series of moments in which emotions are felt. Not simple ones, like happy, sad, or scared, but complex ones. Emotions that we have no names for. Emotions that are intangible.
My parents were special because they both felt the same intangible emotions and they both seemed to know it. They were special because through everything they both experienced, even when the world was unrecognizable, they were friends, and they told each other the truth. They were constants. Touchstones."
It seemed as though the world seemed to catch its breath at my words, even though I knew that was silly. The birds, the trees, the wind, all stopped to take in what I had said. I turned around to face the coffins, engraved with the words 'Mulder' and 'Scully'.
"Thank you Fox Mulder and Dana Scully for teaching me everything I know about love."